;D


So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil
Well, do you think you can tell?

Did they get to trade your hero's for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
Did you exchange a walk on part in the war
For a lead role in the cage

How I wish
How I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fear
I wish you were here
….

I'll stand by you til the day I die
(You're my special soul)
Bet your heart, bet your heart
I'll stand by you til the day I die
I got the whole world counting on things I'm gonna do, well
Come back to me, come back today
(Bet your heart, bet your heart)
Seasons may change, but my love's a lifetime

Closing my eyes for sleeping California
I'm closing my eyes
Closing my eyes for sleepless California
I'm closing my eyes
Closing my eyes for sleepless California
Open my eyes for sleepless California

True Violet – Wish You Were Here (Cover)


As I tried to rush forward, I felt a pair of strong hands, stop me dead in my tracks, their nails digging into my flesh to keep me in place as my own nails dug deep into the soil beneath me, dirt stuffing deep underneath them. My eyes widened in horror as I watched the wind blow around Sam, his body beginning to fall back into the deep, seemingly never-ending hole that had opened up in the ground. I heard a scream, taking a moment before I realized it was coming from me.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as Sam disappeared into the abyss, the cavity shutting in the blink of an eye.

My eyes snapped open and I was staring at the ceiling in the spare bedroom at Bobby's house. Dean and I had been staying here for the past few days. And needless to say, those days were...bleak. We seemed to be in this never ending cycle of misery, the same thing over and over again. The same nightmares, the same sadness. I prayed, I begged, I pleaded, but nothing happened.

Dean was abnormally quiet and unattached, not like himself at all. It killed me to see him that way. Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the same.

I wanted desperately to try and get Sam free, staying up late looking through Bobby's vast collection of books to see if I could find something- anything. I know Dean did the same, sneaking out of the bedroom in the middle of the night when he thought I was asleep.

Neither one of us ever mentioned what we'd been doing, to each other. Whether it be because we just couldn't bare to talk about it, or because we didn't want to disappoint each other when the lead we caught turned out to be absolutely nothing. But there was also one of the last conversations we had with Sam lingering in the back of my mind, stopping me each time.

We promised Sam that if he was strong enough to take back control of Lucifer, which he undoubtedly was, that we wouldn't go poking around the cage to try and get him out.

I was torn between keeping a promise or breaking it completely. And no one would help us, no one wanted to. Not even Cas, who all but disappeared. Though I wasn't entirely sure I could blame him...


LAWRENCE, KANSAS – NIGHT

Three days ago

Sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala, I felt numb. I had no idea how in the hell Dean was driving right now without sending us careening into a ditch somewhere. I couldn't make myself concentrate on anything but the while stripe running along the asphalt near the grass line.

The paint was cracked and faded, wearing from it's time spent being run over. I couldn't help but feel similar.

I just watched my little brother kill himself to save the world that an uncaring and selfish God created. A world that doesn't give a shit about Sam Winchester. A world that doesn't even know who he is, who probably never would.

But that never mattered to Sam, did it? Honestly, it never mattered to me either. But now, things were different. Why did we have to hurt to save all the assholes on this god-forsaken planet? Why did we have to do what should be God's job?

The ringing in my ears blared and I turned around, seeing Castiel sitting in the backseat, staring at me. I stared back, pulling in a breath. Dean glanced over, seeing the angel out of the corner of his eye. "What are you gonna do now?"

"Return to Heaven, I suppose." Cas replied. I rolled my eyes, silently looking back out the window.

"Heaven?" Dean scoffed.

"With Michael in the Cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there."

"So, what, you're the new sheriff in town?"

"I like that." Castiel nodded approvingly. "Yeah. I suppose I am."

"Wow. God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, and suddenly you're his bitch again."

"I don't know what God wants. I don't know if he'll even return. It just... seems like the right thing to do."

"Well, if you do see him, you tell him I'm coming for him next." Dean said, his voice hard and cold. I didn't react in surprise, feeling the same way inside.

"You're angry. "

"That's a fucking understatement."

"God helped. Maybe even more than we realize." Castiel said. I scoffed, shaking my head.

"That's easy for you to say. He brought you back. But what about Sam? What about us, huh? Where's our grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole!"

"You got what you asked for. No paradise. No hell. Just more of the same. What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?"

"You know what, Cas? Screw you." I spat, turning around to face the surprised angel.

"Excuse me?"

"Screw you and your self-righteousness. You have no right to say that to us." I pulled the box of grace out of my pocket, throwing it back at the angel, who caught it. "Take that, too."

"Victoria, this- it's useless to me. You're the only one who can open it."

"Fine. Lock it up somewhere for all I care. I never want to see it again."

Castiel let out sigh, sliding the box into his coat before looking back at me. "You're not the only ones who lost something, Victoria."

"We're not!?" I exploded. "We lost Sam! We lose someone we loved, who loved us back just as much! What did you lose? A brother that hadn't been there your entire life? A brother who hated you and your rest your family? You didn't lose shit. In fact, you gained. You got your wings back. You get to run back to paradise and be in charge. So good for you, get out of my fucking face."

The whole time I spoke, Castiel's eyes grew more guilty, until he looked down. "Victoria-"

"Get out of here, Castiel." I muttered, tears threatening to run down my cheeks.

With once last glance at both Dean and I, the angel disappeared in a flutter of wings.


SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA – DAY

Present

The wind whipped around me as I sat on the porch, the glass of whiskey gripped tightly in my hand. Thinking back on it now, I'd almost felt bad about the things I'd said to Castiel. Almost.

Hearing a sound from behind, I turned back to see Dean standing in the doorway, watching me, a bottle of beer in his hand. Dean made his way over, sitting down in the chair next to mine with a heavy breath. "Hey."

"Hi." I murmured.

"How are you?"

"Okay. What about you?"

"Fine."

"Dean-"

"What?"

I waited for a moment, trying to decide if I should say something or not. "Dean, you have to know that I've been looking at Bobby's books."

Dean nodded, taking a swig of his beer. "Me too."

"There has to be a way, Dean." I muttered, my voice small. "Someone has to know how to get into that damn cage-"

"Yeah, I thought so, too. But I've been wracking my brain, and you know what I got? Zip. I got fucking nothing, Tori. Nothing." Dean breathed, tears beginning to fill his eyes. "I've read through every goddamn occult book Bobby owns. I found nothing."

"Then what the hell are we supposed to do?" I asked, allowing the tears to spill down my cheeks.

"I'll tell you." Bobby said gruffly, appearing in the doorway. "You keep your promise."

"What?"

"You go on and live. Like Sam would've wanted.

"How can we pretend to be happy while Sam is rotting away in that fucking cage?" Dean snapped.

"Alright, how are you gonna get him out? What's your plan? Believe me, I've looked over every piece of lore since shit hit the fan, never found one thing. But on some off chance you find a way I don't know about, I'm pretty sure you can't get Sam free without springing Lucifer again, too."

I shook my head. "Bobby."

"Listen to me! Don't let the sacrifice that boy made be for nothing! He did what he did so that the two of you, and everyone else in this damn world, could go on and have a chance at a good life! He wanted you two to be happy, or at least try! He'd want you to get off your asses and make a life for yourselves, not sulk around until you die off, too!"

I nearly flinched back at Bobby's words. Though they were harsh, I knew deep down...he was right. Sam made a sacrifice, something he knew couldn't be undone. We couldn't waste the freedom he'd given us. We had to honor his memory. And if that meant pushing ourselves through this fog to try and be some form of happy, well, we do it for him.

It wouldn't be easy. But we'd do it for him.


"Open my eyes for sleepless California."

I hope you guys liked this first chapter, even though it is short. I may go back and change a few things if I feel the need to, but it won't be anything too intense. If it is, I'll be sure to let you know!

Thanks for reading! Love you guys!

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