Random Pezberry Thought of the Day 361:
Rachel wrapped her arms around herself after closing the loft door, tears already gathering, warm and wet, in her eyes.
Maybe it wasn't her fault, but… Seeing Santana walk away from her, shoulders tight and words hot as they echoed in her ears, pillow clenched close towards her chest with her suitcase following after her…
Rachel almost ran after.
…Almost… But didn't.
(Tumblr tags: but didn't, and ohh, but did that but didn't haunt rachel for the rest of her life when she let her mind wander..., perhaps if she let them make up sooner, or allow that make up to also make up what came next..., things could have been different, (and in all the other verses where they made up sooner..., and didn't have the following fall out, and perhaps went somewhere much more pleasurable and intimate..., ohh but did rachel both rue and be thankful for that but didn't shaping where her life would go...).
There were pros and cons for living with Rachel Berry in the loft, Santana knew.
Con: All the singing. Don't get her wrong - Santana enjoyed singing, both by herself and by others when they could keep a tune - but having to wake up an ungodly time in the morning every morning to the sound of Rachel singing along to her workout music, it was easy to get burnt out even more than she had in high school. And she thought she'd been prepared, moving in with the diva and her gay twin.
Pro: Ease of access. And not just meaning to New York City, but to Rachel herself. At least after they got closer and got past Finn and Brittany, Brody, Finn again (and Quinn), Dani, Finn, Brittany, then Finn and Brittany for the last time, and then themselves. This including sleeping in Rachel's bed - and not sleeping in Rachel's bed, nudge nudge, wink wink - and not having to ask Rachel to move in once they'd gotten serious, was not what she had been prepared for, moving in with the diva and her gay twin… But she wouldn't have it any other way.
(Tumblr tags: i thought about making this a proper list, or providing extensive examples, but then i did not have the energy and decided i would just go with plus one than the line that prompted this rptotd in the first place, (it was fun coming up with the timeline of who to get past when though), nudge nudge wink wink - one could even say... wanky, ;D.
The first time Santana found her mouth sounding out a compliment towards Rachel instead of one of her meticulously planned, researched insults, she'd later found herself at Puck's, hands curling in his shirt as she drunkenly and demandingly drilled him about how she could have let the hobbit midget get to her.
(Tumblr tags: followed by calling up quinn and just as drunkenly and demandingly making her explain it, santana ALWAYS disavowed any knowledge the next sober morning of course, as it happened more and more..., hmm hmm, puck, noah puckerman, quinn fabray, early season verbiage.
Rachel's response was slow in coming. I won't be your other woman, Santana.
(Tumblr tags: aka, santana finds herself talking more and more with rachel as, her marriage to brittany cools down, at first just wanting someone to talk to, and then genuinely enjoying it, she has no intentions of cheating on brittany, or falling emotionally for someone else, and this message, sent six months into their correspondence, is like a wave of freezing water cascading over her, and in shock and dismay she realizes, that even if rachel came to the realization first about what was happening, santana couldn't say she was wrong, and... fuck, (and if you were wondering, rachel uses 'WON'T' because it's a purposeful statement that she's, using to convince herself, instead of the 'CAN'T that would suggest she was helpless and had no choice).
#365: So for those of you who might be wondering, I am going to, for at least now, skip Random Pezberry Thought of the Day (*snorts* Day. Hah!) 365 and go straight to 366. Because I have plans for the 365th one, and it hasn't come together yet. So I'm just going to sidle on past and post it when it's done.
#366:((You are not imagining things - I am jumping from RPTOTD 364 to 366 (as I explained in another post). That is on purpose. The 365th - the One Year one, is being saved for something specific. :} So here, on with the 366th show!))
Santana smirks, looking at Rachel across the room before turning back to Quinn. "As much as she loves telling how we got together, I know she always leaves out the part where we bumped into each other in the bathroom and fucked each other's brains out, too."
(Tumblr tags: found in my bits and pieces, oh santana santana santana, *clucks her tongue*.)
Having learned her lesson about giving Rachel a heads up about climbing up to her window after getting violently attacked by a hairbrush and nearly getting the cops called on her when she stuck her head inside the first time, Santana chilled near the dark corner of Rachel's house, waiting for the return text that would allow her to start her ascent. As she waited, she leaned back against the house, smiling absently to herself as she listened to Barbra Streisand filter down from Rachel's room. As much as she would have complained to anyone else, it was classic Rachel - and, yeah, she liked Rachel, classic edition included.
Having just pulled her phone out to check it again, Santana froze when the back door slid open.
"As much as I'd love to ask you what you are doing loitering in our backyard," LeRoy Berry's voice made Santana jump, and she sloooowly turned around, staring at him, "I think I can guess. You just got back from cheerleading camp, yes?"
"Oh god." Santana let out reflexively, swallowing back an expletive as she nodded stiffly. "Uh, yeah." She cleared her throat, stashing her phone back into her pocket before her hand settled on her hip. "We, well, god, Rache already annoyingly had plans with you - you know how she is." She huffed. "This is us working around that." She paused for barely a second. "Obviously."
Honestly, Rachel had been incredibly annoyed at herself for distractedly agreeing to her fathers' plans before pulling her day planner out and realizing Santana was coming home that same day.
Hence Santana waiting to sneak in.
LeRoy laughed a little, shaking his head. Closing the door behind him, he walked closer to Santana, wrapping his arms around himself as if to ward against the chill. "At least you're not smoking or doing something else foolish," he offered, almost conversationally, glancing at Santana out of the corner of his eye as he stopped next to her, looking over the back yard, "Makes me just that much more willing to go inside and pretend I didn't see you."
As her phone vibrated in her coat, immediately drawing Santana's attention away, Santana bit her lower lip. "Look… Mr. B…" she started, standing up straight, honestly feeling as annoyed with getting caught as she was feeling awkward, "I cans sidle on alongside the house and rap on the front door if you'd like. Make it obvious I's here so's you can send me along."
LeRoy chuckled, shaking his head. "Right. And you'd go home? Not wait even longer until we went to bed and then scale up to Rachel's room? Hiram and I had conversations when we planted that tree outside our hopeful child's room, you know."
Santana made a face. "Are you serious? 'Cuz if you are, you really can't blame me."
Chuckling some more, LeRoy turned to smile at her. "No, no, I'm not blaming you for taking advantage of the foliage. Honestly, you're already smarter than that flipper boy who tried to chuck actual fist size rocks at Rachel's window."
"Wait, he showed up here, too? At night?" Rachel hadn't told her that. 'Course, she hadn't needed to tell Santana that. They'd just talked. And a lot of that talk had been about Rachel and Finn's doomed relationship. Santana shook her head, raising her hand, "Not the point. Moving on." She gave LeRoy one of her best, patented, 'Rent Smiles', it only flickering a bit as her phone vibrated again.
LeRoy surveyed her. "Go ahead and check it. She'll probably start to panic if you don't."
Santana's ears warmed. And, though feeling a little disgruntled at how genial Rachel's father was being even with the general air of discomfort swirling around this encounter, she quickly tapped Rachel's texts open.
My fathers are almost done with their nightly routine, so perhaps another fifteen minutes? Though part of me still finds this ridiculous, falling into the trap of a teenager secretly smuggling her lover into her room under the curtain of darkness, the part inside of me that misses you greatly and can't wait to be in your arms is already jumping at the knowledge I will see you soon.
It really has been too long. I'm still kicking myself for so blindly postponing our reunion, especially since I know you've been missing me as much as I have been missing you. I hope the girls at your camp were nice enough to keep you occupied. Just, wait, no, not like that. I didn't mean it that way. I know I should go ahead and delete this, but I can't help… You didn't, did you? I know, while we have been friends for a while, our romantic and sexual relationship is still pretty new, especially with the camp in the middle, and though I trust you… I'm sorry. Ignore this. It's the nerves of seeing you. I'll keep it in, however, so you'll be able to understand my state of mind when you see me, as you've told me before trying to parse my complicated emotions if I don't verbalize them is hard for you to do.
Santana? I didn't… I didn't insult you, did I? That's the best possible reason for you not responding, at least. I'm doing my best not to jump to conclusions, but I did stumble upon asking you if you cheated on me, and your lack of reassurances… San? Please tell me I'm wrong.
"Fuck," Santana hissed, ears prickling for another reason entirely than Rachel's father standing in front of her, curiously watching her.
She had to answer.
And even before she realized, Santana's thumbs were whipping up a reply.
Babe. Ur dads here. Takin up my time. Dont worry. Ur cute when u panic but nothings gone on. Only u. No insults. And no conclusions. Missed u. A lot.
Purposefully ignoring the fact that she was baring more than she'd like to, Santana sent off the text and stuffed her phone back into her pocket. "Well, Mr. B?" she asked archly, crossing her arms, heart still racing in her chest, "I don't mean to be rude -" Not. "- but can we hurry up you a), shooing me off, or b), letting me walk into your house, either with or without you?"
Blinking at her, obviously left off-kilter, LeRoy drew it out, then guffawed - softly - and shook his head. "Alright, Santana," he paused, looking up at the sky almost ruefully before looking back at her, lips quirking as he raised his hand, index finger pointed, "This once - just this once - I'm going to turn around and pretend I didn't see you."
Santana gaped at him. "What?"
"Yup." LeRoy nodded at her, already stepping back towards the back entrance, smile gentling, "I love my daughter. And she's been missing you. Putting up a brave front, but…" He paused, meeting her eyes. "Missing you. I remember those days." He sobered even more, glancing back at the house. "So, just wait, mmm, about another half hour? Hiram and I should be safely in bed by then."
Santana could only stare at her girlfriend's father. "Really?" She swallowed, trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth. "I… …Yeah. Okay." She cleared her throat, looking away as she forced out, "…Thanks, I guess."
LeRoy turned back toward her, smile honest, almost amused, as if he could look through her. "Don't mention it."
And Santana, fingers curling around her phone as it vibrated with an answering message from Rachel, nodded.
Silent as the man disappeared back into the house, "…Fuck," Santana exhaled, dropping back against the wall, looking up and imagining Rachel looking back down at her from her window, "Jesus - fuck."
(Tumblr tags: a bits and pieces somewhat fleshed out, the dream of every teen hmm?, accepted and nay! even encouraged! by their partner's parent/s, (not like my reception i'll tell you what XD), aside from that..., some fleshing out of rachel's fears and santana's reaction to them, thankfully it should all work out, and rachel and santana can reacquaint themselves, :}, (and again i haven't seen the canon hiram/leroy myself, only gifsets, so i've never truly thought of them as rachel's parents, instead the pic of them pilot episode..., so make of that as you will).)
Rachel's mouth worked. "If, if you truly find me so distasteful, Santana, then isn't that reason enough for you to go away?"
When Santana started snooping in Rachel's closet - partly because it's just a thing she does, partly out of sheer morbid curiosity because apparently she also likes to punish herself by exposing her eyes to the lowest denominator of bad fashion, and partly with the intention of seeing how many clothes she can convince Rachel to burn - she hadn't expected to come upon a collection of "My parents went to [_], and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" shirts. From black to white to purple and even one lime green one, and from Las Vegas to Paris and Switzerland and Japan, it was crazy.
"Definitely crazy," Santana muttered to herself, hands on her hips as she surveyed the lot she'd laid out on Rachel's bed. "God. What am I even seeing?"
She had just taken a picture to share with Quinn and Brittany when Rachel bustled into the room, an honest to god serving tray in her hands. "Oh!" she exclaimed in surprise, only a glance going to her wide open closet before she was setting the tray onto her desk and coming up behind Santana, "While I don't appreciate you having your way with my private things, and I hope you have not defaced or destroyed any of my clothes, I see you've found my collection of travel shirts! What do you think?"
"What do I think?" Santana scoffed, getting amusement out of Rachel's automatic wince and closing of her eyes, knowing full well how inane that question was, "I don't think. I know your dads are insane."
"I…" Rachel cleared her throat. "I, well."
"Though I will say," Santana continued, what might have almost been a flutter of actual emotion in her breast, "That it's criminal, looking at this, how often they left you at home."
Rachel opened her mouth, then paused, curious dark eyes looking at her.
"I just - well…" Pink rose on Rachel's face, doe eyes almost making Santana throw up, "I never would have thought you would have gone that route." She swallowed, voice becoming almost uncomfortably bright and wet as she smiled at Santana, "Thank you."
(Tumblr tags: a bits and pieces flushed out a bit, oh rachel, you truly felt so alone sometimes didn't you?.)
Rachel was in love with Finn.
…She just wasn't in love with Finn enough to give Santana up as well.