This is a list of fifty things that turn Lord Voldemort on (as in sexually). I might put some in my upcoming stories of people think I should:

* The honking noise that Canada geese make. Which is why he honks himself because he's trying to imitate them

* His own face

* Long toenails

* Torturing people by singing loud opera

* Professor McGonagall in fish nets and lingerie

* Professor McGonagall in fish nets and lingerie honking like a goose

* Watching Nagini eating a Muggle's face

* Nagini in general

* The Hogwarts Express

* Ruling over the wizarding world and forcing everyone to wear vampiric bagels on their heads that suck their blood and kill them horribly

* Subservient Dumbledore in a gimp mask

* Snake bondage with thousands of little flickery snake tongues

* The Giant Squid that lives into the lake near Hogwarts and dreams of raucous sex with said squid

* His horcruxed butt-plug (from my other story Harry Potter Finds Voldemort's Butt Plug)

* Lucius Malfoy in a spiky pink chastity belt with a strap on unicorn horn

* The d├ęcor in the kitchen in Azkaban

* The Twilight Saga

* Harry Potter pickled in a jar

* Sex with giant toads in the bayous of Louisiana

* Filch's collection of well oiled thumbscrews

* Tying Snape to medieval torture devices in Snape's secret sex dungeon and covering him in Nutella®

* The sound of screaming

* Dragons mating

* Hagrid's chest hair

* The liberating feeling of donglessness

* The thought of what the centaurs did to Umbridge when they kidnapped her

* When the Basilisk was going to devour Harry Potter

* Laughing retardedly like he does in the movie like this - "EH HEHE!"

* Toilets and diarrhea

* The things Ginny wrote in his diary

* Igor Karkaroff's beard and the thought of becoming horribly tangled and lost in it

* The feeling when your extremities go all wrinkly in the bath

* The feeling when part of your body just rots and falls off (leprosy)

* Putting himself into a small box and leaping out of people whilst totally naked

* Godzilla

* The things Quirrell got up to when they both shared a body

* The Dementor's Kiss (because Voldemort's soul is split up it doesn't affect him like it does other wizards, it's literally just a passionate kiss)

* Bathing in gravy

* Screaming and yelling randomly like he did in all the movies - like this "NYYYYEAAAAAGGHHHH!"

* Abusing Lucius Malfoy's nut allergy (Nuttus Pukeorum!)

* The history of the Third Reich

* People who talk like they've walked out of a Shakespeare play (his favorite is Romeo & Juliet)

* Eggplants used as sex toys

* Watching Bellatrix mud-wrestling with George Weasley

* Arnold Schwarzenegger's manly muscles

* Being paddled sensually by the Whomping Willow

* Mad-Eye Moody's eye and it's many uses

* Sexual relations with the Shrieking Shack

* Using the girl's bathroom

* Watching himself on the big screen in the movies and quoting all of his own lines whilst honking like a mad man.