4A new story, a new royal pain in the neck. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish the story and not ditch it at the last minute. Thanks to my sister, the idea of a fangirl, an extreme one, who not only obsesses over Sasuke but is also an original character, stuck with me. And now, I'm trying to breathe life into it as any author would - by writing it down.
Of course, I would love feedback to see if the idea of a creepy fangirl as the main character is a good one or not. I'll need all the help I can get.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Or Sasuke. If I did I wouldn't see the need to write this down.
How to Get Sasuke 101
by Lhian Ackerman
Because getting Sasuke Uchiha to fall in love with me is harder than it looks. [Fangirl OC X Sasuke]
Prologue
How to Get Sasuke 101
1.) Know everything there is to know about Sasuke Uchiha. And I mean everything.
2.) Sabotage the advances of his fangirls.
3.) Have the best first meeting ever.
4.) Train with him. Alone.
5.) Let him ask you to lend him your help slash strength. Because you're awesome like that.
6.) Go on a super duper romantic date with him. Maybe snag a few kisses or hugs. Whichever comes first.
7.) Make him share his past with you. But be sure to research about it beforehand.
8.) Confess your feelings to him. Prepare a speech and a clone for the cue cards.
9.) Make Sasuke love you forever and ever. (As if he hadn't already.)
10.) Live happily ever after. With the man you love. The end.
"Huh? Finally making a move, Aika-chan? After all this time?"
I immediately closed my notebook with a squeak. Hugging the notebook close to my chest, I turned around and gave the beaming Yamanaka a level 4 glare. 5 is my worst, and while I don't appreciate a... certain annoying teammate snooping around my business, I reserve my level 5 glares for over-the-top annoying bimbo fangirls.
So yeah. Name's Aika. I don't have any siblings, but my parents own a restaurant (which is just as demanding as a sibling, they told me when I whined about being an only child) a few blocks from here. Ever since, I don't know, forever? They never really understood my desire to become a ninja since, surprise, surprise, they chose the life of a civilian. Not that I blame them really, if it hadn't been for Sasuke-kun, I myself would have never decided to play ninja.
So... yeah, I really, really, love Sasuke-kun. If it wasn't obvious already, Sasuke-kun is the love of my life. If I could, I'd lock him up and keep him underneath my basement. Forever. Not that I have a basement (maybe I should consider getting one, but my parents would probably get mad at me and ground me forever since they have other bills to pay off), but still. He's the reason why I got into this whole ninja sham business anyway. Sure, some of the things they teach us are pretty useful, like the Substitution Jutsu thingy, they help me make a quick getaway whenever Sasuke's starting to notice me following - I mean, looking out for him. Still, I can count all of the important stuff that comes with being a ninja on one hand. Everything else pretty much goes over my head because I know for a fact that I don't need them in the long run.
The only problem is that I'm one year older than Sasuke. Shocker, right? Not that my age will stop me from pursuing him - it'll take a lot more than that - but since I graduated a year ahead of him, I got stuck with two dumb teammates called Haruki and Takahiro.
I stored my notebook in a scroll as I inched away from the Yamanaka, jamming the scroll back into my pocket. There's a good chance that I might catch his stupidity. And Sasuke-kun doesn't like stupid girls. "I'm so proud of you!" Haruki gushed. I turned my back on him with a huff. Stupid Haruki and his Yamanaka ways. I pretty much ignore him whenever he babbles on and on about stupid insignificant things (aka things that don't involve Sasuke-kun). He's never deterred, however, and usually, keeps up a one-sided conversation with me. I swear he can talk about a pebble he saw on a road for three hours straight and never get tired of talking about it.
I stood up and dusted my pants, sneakily preparing a Genjutsu for Haruki. Maybe it's better if I put him under a Genjutsu, at least that'll shut him up for a while.
Maybe even permanently if I'm lucky.
"Haruki, stop getting involved in Aika's personal matters. Aika, drop that hand sign. I know he's annoying, but putting him under a Genjutsu won't solve the problem."
Ah, Aburame Takahiro. He's the most pretentious, uptight ass to ever walk on Earth. He likes to call me out whenever I decide that researching about Sasuke-kun is better than the stupid training our sensei makes us do. Other than that, however, he doesn't talk much. He likes to pretend he's the cool, strong and silent type of guy, but Sasuke-kun does it so much better, which, funnily enough, puts him lower than Haruki on the list of most annoying people I know, which isn't hard, since Haruki took his place at top 10 easily.
If he has the gall to point out that his cousin Ino is way better looking than me, he deserves it.
Haruki frowned. "Come on Taka-chan, you should be proud of her! She's finally moving up from being the overly creepy stalker to being an overly creepy girlfriend!"
I swooned because the thought of me being the girlfriend of Sasuke Uchiha was enough to turn me into a pile of mush. I mean, who wouldn't? Then stopped when I realized that Haruki called me creepy. I am not creepy. I gave him another level 4 glare, only for him to laugh it off like it was nothing. The jerk. Haruki is practically begging for my level 5 glare. If only he knew. He'd pee his pants from how awesome and intense my level 5 glare is.
Takahiro, however, only twitched. I snickered. Taka-chan. What a joke. "I'd ask you to refrain from using that ridiculous nickname ever again."
"Why not? It sounds super manly. Perfect for a man of your caliber!"
"... On second thought, that Genjutsu wouldn't be such a bad idea."
Goodbye Haruki. It was nice knowing you. Not. "Thank you," I muttered, preparing the hand signs once again.
"Hey!"
A poof of smoke stopped whatever rebuttal Takahiro had for Haruki (did he have a rebuttal though? He'd probably ditch us and sulk like the uptight ass that he is) as Isamu-sensei appeared. I immediately played innocent, whistling as I avoided eye contact. Isamu-sensei was probably the devil's bastard child. So evil that the devil himself must have disowned him. Why you may ask? It's simple. He's the worst sensei ever. He loved to make us run stupid laps around the training field. I hated it so much, since it made me feel sweaty and gross and just yuck. I remembered that one time when he caught me skipping Taijutsu practice. Sasuke-kun was still in class so I decided to stop by my family's restaurant. My parents gave me weird looks when I told them I was skipping practice, but they didn't really care so they let me stay there for a good three hours. Then Isamu-sensei appeared and practically dragged me away, despite the fact that I was screaming and clawing at his hands while he did so. For the rest of the month, I was forced to practice with Guy-sensei and his big ass eyebrows. I swear it's alive, no eyebrows look that thick and bushy and I know for a fact that I saw it move. But the one thing that really ticked me off was the fact Guy-sensei was worse than Isamu-sensei when it comes to training. He's a slave-driver to boot! He must think I'm more machine than human. Which I wasn't! Not to mention that he's bipolar. I mean, have you seen him running around the village and screaming about youth only to suddenly fall down on his knees and cry with a sunset as his backdrop?! I'm not even sure if the sunset was a Genjutsu or a trick of the light! And that's saying something! Genjutsu is one of the few good things that I excel in as a ninja!
Which... doesn't really mean much, now that I think about it.
What really frightened me is that Lee, a former classmate of mine but is now a green spandex lover under the tutelage of Guy-sensei, became an even weirder... weirdo by mimicking Guy-sensei. I wondered about the mentality of the Hokage if he was so eager to put those two into a team and essentially doom the village as a whole. But, whatever! The point is, how dare Isamu-sensei! He can't just hand me over to them and expect me to be okay with it in the end. I should sue him for the trauma he's inflicted on me. I'm telling you, he's that evil.
He looked us over, and asked in a tone that suggested that he really didn't care, "What happened?"
"Aika-chan's writing a checklist on how to get Sasuke." Haruki blurted out. I choked, and without hesitation, I kicked him in the shins.
Isamu-sensei's eyebrow rose in interest. He ignored the whimpering Yamanaka. "Really? So you're actually going to try and win him over?"
"That doesn't concern you." You stupid evil sensei.
"In fact, it does," Isamu-sensei drawled. "Because of your obsession with the Uchiha, your Taijutsu sucks and your Ninjutsu barely passes off as mediocre." Ouch.
Haruki snickered and even Takahiro had the gall to snort. In a graceful way. Lord knows how princessy Takahiro acts for him to snort ungracefully. Still… it kind of makes me jealous of him. Just a little bit. "I fail to see how this is connected to my love," I emphasized with a glare level 3. I am not obsessed. Just... dedicated. "For Sasuke-kun."
Haruki gasped. "Quick, who was Sasuke named after?"
"Sarutobi Sasuke, duh," I answered just as quickly. Then I narrowed my eyes. Is he baiting me? This is a trap. Definitely a trap. Still... I gave him a haughty look. Does he really think that I didn't know something as simple as that? Who cares if he's baiting me? Nobody can beat me when it comes to Sasuke-kun. He can ask me all he wants, I'll answer every single question he throws at me.
"What's his favorite meal?"
"Omusubi with okaka and tomatoes. Fresh from his garden, of course." I ignored Haruki's, "Sasuke owns a garden?"
Takahiro frowned. "Where does he go at 4:30 in the afternoon?"
"Training in the Uchiha compound," I answered diligently.
Haruki smirked. "What size are his boxers?"
I open my mouth to reply but closed it when I saw the unnerved looks of my team, save for Haruki who was laughing like a maniac. The jerk. I had to sneak around Sasuke-kun's room to get that information! The fact that I went in uninvited... well, he wasn't supposed to know that!
Not that it was an unpleasant experience... I mean, I even got to see his underwear drawer...
"That's none of your business!" I squawked indignantly. I tried to ignore the way my ears were turning red from embarrassment and mostly anger as Isamu-sensei shook his head. That was the last straw. I began preparing myself for glare level 5. Stupid Haruki. He should just roll over and die!
"You could've dedicated the time you spent stalking the Uchiha boy to improving your skills as a ninja." Isamu-sensei pointed out. "Look at Takahiro, he knows how to manage his time."
Takahiro preened.
"Eh? But sensei, what about me?" Haruki wailed.
Isamu-sensei grunted. "You're too busy staring at the mirror to actually train, Haruki. You're no better than Aika."
Haruki fumed as he gestured to his silent teammate. "If it wasn't for a certain Aburame, I wouldn't see the need to look into a mirror every now and then!" Back when we were still a new team, Isamu-sensei had us practice our Ninjutsu. Like the usual. I was doing it half-assed (like usual), but Haruki and Takahiro took training very seriously (as usual). Unfortunately for them, things got a little... heated between the two. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, what with the excessive amount of testosterone and all, but Haruki kept insisting that it was Takahiro's fault and that he was just a victim to his wrath. Their squabble resulted in Takahiro burning off half of Haruki's so called gorgeous and golden locks.
Now, Haruki's hair, which was almost at his waist before the training accident, is now just barely brushing his shoulders. He vowed to take revenge, but seeing as he was still throwing a tantrum about his precious golden locks (which was silkier than mine, he boasted), I assume that he hadn't.
"Enough," Isamu-sensei barked. Haruki immediately shut up. Wise choice. "You can complain after you get stronger." And then what, you'll hand out medals? "10 laps around the field. Now." What? That's it? Usually, he would complain about how slow I was and - wait for it - gush about how amazing Takahiro was when he did this and that.
I held my chin up. I may be lazy, but I don't like the fact that Isamu-sensei plays favorites. Not that I don't agree with him, Takahiro may be an uptight ass, but at least he's an uptight ass that listens to sensei, unlike the rest of us, but still. Favorites! And having favorites is a crime punishable by law! ... I think. Nevertheless! I was not afraid! I will stand my ground and hold my own against this injustice!
Then Isamu-sensei threatened us with another 5 laps if we didn't move our asses. Stupid evil incarnate. I can't waste that much time on training. I had better things to do!
And an Uchiha to stalk - I mean, an Uchiha to study - crap both of those doesn't sound right.
The three of us immediately broke off into a run. I growled. Stupid sensei. He needs a girlfriend. He must be venting out his frustration at us because he can't get the girls to like him. He's already in his mid-thirties and he's still single!
I made a sound that was a cross of a dying whale and a neighing horse. Stupid teammates. I was sweating like crazy five minutes into the run and those two haven't even broken a sweat! Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Who cares if I'm panting like a dog? I'm still breathing, so that should count. I'm fine. Totally fine. Okay, let's think positive things. Positive things that involve me finishing the race and me murdering my team.
That sounds lovely.
And then reality hits me like a ton of bricks. But that sounds painful. Instead, I'll say that reality decided to be an ass and throw me a brick with a picture of Sasuke-kun attached to it smack in the face. So I whimpered when I realized that I won't be able to see Sasuke until later today. And I'm not even halfway through with my laps! Technically I haven't even finished one. Am I even going to finish this one? I slapped myself. Ew. My face is slick with sweat. Another slap. I wiped my hand on my pants. Positive things. I should think positive things.
I ignored Haruki's concerned look. He made a face which clearly said, "She's crazy."
Which I wasn't. It's not my fault he couldn't see Sasuke-kun's awesomeness! I wondered about Sasuke-kun again. Ah, good old Sasuke-kun. He must be in class. That's a no-brainer. He never skips classes so it's not like he'll go anywhere. Still, it'd be nice to see him soon. I imagined his cool eyes staring out the window, beautiful raven hair framing his face and his lips looking so very delicious -
I squealed. To think that the drop dead gorgeous Sasuke-kun will soon be mine! He's graduating in a few days, and while I know that he has to pass the Genin Exam to be able to you know, actually graduate, it's not like he'll fail. Sasuke-kun is awesome like that. He'll pass the test with flying colors, I bet!
But, it doesn't take a wild guess to know that he'll be practicing extra harder for the exam. He's a hard-worker. Meaning, he'll be out training longer than usual. Meaning, he'll be pushing himself to the limits so he can show off to those ants he calls classmates what Sasuke Uchiha can really do. Meaning, I need to get out of here because Sasuke-kun is gonna be all sweaty and tired and he would look so hot and gorgeous -
I stared longingly at the direction of the Uchiha compound. Maybe I could skip practice. Just for a little bit. I'm tired and I'm sure that dying by running isn't an impossible feat. I need to rest! Not only am I slowing down (Haruki and Takahiro are nowhere in sight, the traitors), I'm also getting... dizzy. Oh gosh, my breakfast is turning sour in my tummy. Am I gonna puke? I knew tempura for breakfast was a bad idea. They were delicious though. Mom makes killer tempura. I shake my head. No, no, no! There are more important things in life than vomiting tempura! Like, rest and going on a killing spree (I'm watching you, Haruki and Isamu-sensei). And besides, Sasuke-kun needs me! I mean, who cares about Guy-sensei and the bushes on his face that he calls eyebrows? It's not like I'm stuck with him if I make sure that Isamu-sensei doesn't catch me skipping.
"Aika." Crap. I stiffened. My sensei was suddenly blocking my only exit to escape his evil clutches.
I stopped. Then I took one long look at my sensei and heaved. This is not good. I cannot let him see me in a moment of weakness. Not like I have any plans of stopping my puking session soon. I figured Isamu-sensei will let me take a break when I'm puking all over the newly cut grass. I mean, he can't be that cruel. Oh, look. Tempura. Sucks to be the people who have to clean this up and explain how a tempura managed to end up here. I groaned as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. This is bad. I smell and my legs are killing me! Oh crap sensei is still looking at me. Did he actually watch me puke and decide not to help a poor and pitiful soul like me? Jerk. He must be heartless or something. "I'm watching you. If you want to go after your Sasuke-kun, you better finish your laps first. Or else." He warned. Then he smiled. Evilly might I add. "I hear that Iruka-sensei is letting class end early today because of the upcoming exam. You better hurry."
Needless to say, I ran like the devil was on my heels. With the thought of Sasuke-kun going home early, my legs decided to have a mind of its own. Which, would've been nice if they decided to do it before I started puking. But that's okay! I needed to hurry up, go home, take a shower (because I can't let Sasuke-kun catch a whiff of me covered in sweat and vomit, though it's unlikely because I'll be watching him from a distance), and ignore my parents' exasperated sighs. They think I'm undergoing a phase or something. Just you watch mom and dad! You'll have an Uchiha son-in-law before you know it! Oh, wait now I'm getting sidetracked.
The point is after all the crap sensei is putting me through, I can finally, finally go after Sasuke-kun. This was my purpose in life. My destiny! My fate! My... whatever you want to call it!
But first, says a voice that's eerily similar to Isamu-sensei, you need to finish your laps. Stupid evil sensei. He's evil even when he's just a figment of my imagination! Though it's not really his fault. And I can't really blame a voice in my head. Should I blame my imagination then? Oh no sensei's following me. He must be keeping an eye out in case I decided to sneak out. How dare him. I stuck my tongue out like that mature adult that I was. You want to play that game huh? I'll show him. I'll show the whole world that Sasuke-kun is mine for the taking! He's mine and I'll make sure of that, or my name isn't Aika Uchiha!
See what I did there? And Takahiro calls me dumb for my incredibly awesome foresight.