Inspired by ShakespeareHemingway's Garfield series.
At Dex's Chain Diner in the middle of space, Jon Arbuckle and Garfield casually sit at a table, eating and drinking synthetic lasagna which has been awfully common in the galaxy.
"This Lasagna is garbage!" Jon says with disgust.
"It tastes like your sex life Jon, cold and dry" replies Garfield with clever one-liner.
"This is why we are on our mission to find a better delicacy. We have to find The Last L-" as soon as Garfield continued his impassioned speech, he is interrupted by Dexter Jettser.
"Hey Garfield! I got a message for you from the Rebel Alliance leader Mon Mothma herself. Why don't you come back to the kitchen and check it out?"
Garfield and Jon proceed to walk inside the Besalisk's kitchen as he replays the message to the protagonists.
"Garfield, we need your help back at the rebel base on Yavin. We are having trouble with our devoted leaders working together for a solution to take on the Empire. This new girl named Jyn Erso is trying to convince us to go on a suicide mission based on a false hope she believes in. Help us Garfield, the alliance needs you" said Mon Mothma with worry.
"Don't worry bootylicious bowl cut, me and Jon will be there as soon as possible." said Garfield with confidence.
Garfield and Jon set to head out to their ship but Jon stops suddenly.
"Wait Garfield, we forgot to pay the tab at the diner! Since it was really bad, we should sneak out and avoid paying" connived Jon with sneaky intent.
"No Jon, Dexter is a friend and the honorable thing to do would be to go back and pay your righteous dues," scolded Garfield with moral high ground.
Just then Dexter Jettster stepped outside and flips a dirty towel on his shoulder. "Don't worry Garfield, this meal is on the house!" said Dexter with respectful coolness
"Thank you, Dexter for your hospitality." said Garfield with humbleness.
Garfield and Jon get inside their infamous Lasagna-Falcon which is meatier and bulkier than the Millenium Falcon. Garfield punches the hyperdrive, taking them into hyperspace, quickly reaching into the fourth moon of Yavin.
As they land in front of the temple, Garfield and Jon casually make their way to the meeting room and bust open the doors, revealing Garfield's seductive entrance.
"How's it goin rebel bitches." Garfield said to the bickering rebel leaders who soon realized whose angelic voice spoken in their presence.
"Oh Garfield, I'm so glad to see you!" says Mon Mothma trying to hold her sexual urges in front of Garfield's manliness.
"Garfield?! What in the world are you doing here?" said the whiny and hopeless Jyn Erso.
"Pipe down pale face, and why is everyone talking about ditching the alliance? I say we just take it to the Empire and show them who's the real man!" says Garfield persuading the rebel leaders because he's excellent at improvising speeches.
"I'm sorry Garfield. What do you suppose our plan is?" replied Mon Mothma with caution.
"Easy, let's have some 'negotiations' with you and your female leaders inside your private quarters." Garfield says with suave temptation.
The large masculine feline and several gorgeously aroused leaders discuss their "plans" in Mothma's quarters. Garfield carries multiple women on his shoulders as they head into a more private sector of the temple. "Don't wait up, rabbit teeth" said Garfield as he leaves Jyn behind. What seemed to be hours of constant rhythmic bumping of uglies and ogasmic noises, the male rebel leaders and Jyn awkwardly stand around trying not to make eye contact. Jon on the other hand watches the sensual scene as he's gotten used to this and has taken a recent admiration of his orange friend's stamina. After their intense negotiations, Garfield and the exhausted women leaders walk out of Mothma's steamy quarters as Garfield is the last one out with no sweat broken.
"Alright everyone, Garfield will be the one to lead the mission to retrieve the Death Star plans." said Mon Mothma with feminine exhaustion as she was taught a valuable lesson on hope.
"That's right, and I'll be needing the best damn crew I can get for this mission." explained Garfield in seriousness.
"But Mon Mothma, I have my own ragtag group of rebels who are willing to go on this mission and steal the plans from the Empire." replies Jyn in desperation.
"Probably because all your crew members are forgettable." Garfield says with comedic jab at Jyn, having all the rebels laughing at her. She grits her teeth in anger and points a forceful finger at Garfield's face. He is unfazed as Jyn starts to give the muscled cat an ultimatum.
"Listen here you protein infused ray of testosterone-"
"I'm feeling pretty triggered and reckless today, so let's make a deal. If I get the Death Star plans before you, then you have to exile yourself forever" Jyn says in heated spite.
"And if I win?" Garfield retorts with interested smirk.
Jyn thinks for a moment, for she didn't think she would get this far with the far more intelligent Garfield in her wake. "Then you- uh...Then you can do whatever you want with me."
"Anything?" Garfield says a little bit louder so all the male rebel leaders can lean in and listen to the wager terms.
Garfield scratches his prominently hairy chin and ponders for a moment. "Normally that would disgust me but defeating you would be the ultimate pleasure. You have a deal." Jyn reaches out for a handshake but Garfield fakes her out by swiping his fabulously flowing orange hair as he turns to walk away.
"Come Jon, we've got a wager to win" says Garfield confidently.
The two heroes get inside the Lasagna-Falcon and once again go into hyperspace from immediately flying from the temple thanks to Garfield's excellent mathematical calculations.
"So who are we having in our crew Garfield?" said Jon.
"First, I have to speak with an old friend of mine to see if he'll join us." says Garfield in sureness as they come out of hyperspace, arriving on the planet Earth located in the unknown regions. Jon looks out the cockpit window gazing at the endless rows of tall buildings that lay shoulder to shoulder making the sprawling city before them. They land on top of one of the monolithic structures.
Garfield steps out of the ship as Jon follows him, making their way to an apartment door on the 5th floor. The orange mass of hefty knocking hits against the apartment door to no answer. He looks at Jon in annoyance as he slams his fist straight through the door. A large scream of protest responds on the other side. "YES! YES! FOR PETE'S SAKE WHO IN YANKEE DOODLE'S PANTALOONS IS IT?!" A large eye and chiseled jawline appears in the new found hole of their flimsy door. "Oh...its yoooou."
"Hey Ken from the Bee Movie" says Garfield in casual.
"What brings you here in my secret fortress of solitude?" said Ken in inferior manliness compared to Garfield's.
"I'm here to collect that favor you owe me from Vietnam."
"That was a long time ago, cat. Back when we were in High School."
"Yeah, and I was captain of the football team. But that didn't save us from the goddamn draft."
"So what do you want from me Garfield?" says Ken with skepticism.
"I need a crew to steal the Death Star plans."
"You're kiddin, that's a suicide mission and I fought bees!", yelled Ken the occasional tennis player, "I'm in."
Suddenly footsteps can be heard from behind Ken inside the apartment. Ominous heavy breathing becomes louder as the person walks up to the hollowed door.
"Ken! What the hell happened to the door?!" yelled out a breathless old man.
"Don't worry about it Saw! I'm hanging out with my friend Garfield from high school!" Ken from Bee Movie casually yells out.
"Saw? Saw Gerrera? I thought he was dead." Jon said with curiousness.
"Garfield?!" Said Saw Gerrera and he quickly hobbles away.
Garfield opens the door with his manly yet graceful grips walking towards the man. He steps in front of the old man, making himself an obstacle.
"Garfield you bastard! Get the hell out of my way!" explains the scared man.
"How are you still alive you walking life support? You died in Jehda." replies the calm stud.
Gurerra takes a long sigh. "I wish I did…"
"I smell guilt at the fault of a female. Save your sob story. I just need some info from you so I can win a bet. Who do you know who is really good at the computer things. I can't be in two places at once." says Garfield.
"Very well. The person you are looking for is locked up in my secret dungeon located in on one of my bases in the outer rim." says Saw.
"Thanks Saw. I'll make sure not to tell where you've been hiding...yet." Garfield says intimidatingly at Saw Gerrera. "Come on Ken, let's make like the twin towers and jet."
"You know that's incredibly offensive, right?" Ken says in annoyed.
"You humans are all the same. No humor, like Jon" says Garfield. Jon responds by shrugging.
"Oooooookay. Garfield, before we leave, I need my signature weapons. " Ken says as he holds onto a cardboard box containing something dear to him. "You know what these are? These are my Wi-"
"I don't care about your erotic fanfiction Ken, now let's go." Garfield replies with annoying.
"OH COME ON!" roars the furious Ken.
"Wait Garfield, one last thing…" Saw glares into Garfield's eyes before they leave.
"Save the rebellion… save the dream."
"Yeah yeah cut the chit chat you lame-o-saurus." Garfield says with wit.
As Garfield, Jon and Ken from Bee movie leave the apartment they walk up to the roof to the Lasagna-Falcon.
"Where are we headin?" Asks Ken with wonder.
"For Jedha." Says Garfield in plot device.