(A/N: This "Donkey Kong" fic is going to be different from anything I've written so far. Let's read and find out how.)

It was daytime during New Year's Eve on Kongo Bongo Island. Most of the island's inhabitants were busy making their resolutions for the new year. The bad guys, at present, had only one resolution: to finally succeed in stealing the Crystal Coconut. But in order to succeed, they needed a master plan, and so they were going to spend the day coming up with plans. So far, all they had come up with were plans that would comically backfire, 'cause most bad guys are known for and are really good at doing just that.

Meanwhile, Cranky Kong was making his way to DK's treehouse with the Crystal Coconut. He heard that DK got a new hiding place for the Crystal Coconut, to keep it completely safe from evil eyes. Perhaps DK's resolution was to fix the bad guy problem, and he was getting a head-start, which would please Cranky to no end. But he'd be completely pleased if DK was ready to rule. Well, given that he'd be keeping the Crystal Coconut in his house from now on, he must've been ready.

When Cranky arrived, he said, "All right, DK. What makes this new hiding place for the Crystal Coconut so great?"

"Check it out!" DK said, leading Cranky to his bedroom and motioning to his nightstand. Needless to say, Cranky was not the least bit amused.

"You call a nightstand a safe hiding place for the Crystal Coconut?! That's no place to hide it! Any bad guy could open the drawers, find it, and grab it!" Cranky exclaimed.

"Acutally, it is a good hiding place for the Crystal Coconut. And no, the drawers aren't where I'm hiding it. You have to say the password to find the hiding place." DK said.

"A password system, eh?" Cranky asked. He thought, "Hmm, that probably would've made it a little easier to keep the bad guys from getting at the Crystal Coconut. Why didn't I ever think of that?" But then he said, "It had better be a good password."

"Oh, it is. The bad guys will never, in a million years, guess the password. They won't even know where the Crystal Coconut is as long as it's hidden." DK said.

"Hey, maybe I can guess the password." Cranky said.

"Okay, then. You get 3 guesses." DK said.

"The password is... 'bananas'!" Cranky guessed.

"Good guess, but no, that's not it." DK said.

"I thought for sure that'd be it, knowing you. Okay, let me think... How about: 'Open sesame'!" Cranky tried again.

"Another good guess, but that's still not it." DK said.

"Give me a hint." Cranky said.

"The hint is: something a bad guy would never say." DK hinted.

"Well, that's not a very good hint, but I'll come up with something." Cranky said. He thought about it for a minute or two, and then he said, "I got it! The bad guys will never be able to say, 'I win'!" Cranky said, sure that he got it this time.

"Is that your final answer?" DK asked.

"Are you saying I still didn't get it?" Cranky asked, figuring that he gave it his best.

"Not even close." DK said.

"Fine! What's the password?!" Cranky said, really frustrated.

"The password is: I'm a pathetic losing loser who loses, so I should suck it up and leave the good guys alone." DK said.

"What kind of password is that?" Cranky asked, before he noticed that DK's words caused something to happen.

The lamp that was sitting on the nightstand started to rise, and right underneath it was a tall, silver cylinder, and part of the cylinder swung back, revealing a space that was big and wide enough to hide the Crystal Coconut.

"A good password that no bad guy would ever want to say. A bad guy would never want to call himself a pathetic loser in order to get his filthy hands on the Crystal Coconut." DK said as Cranky gazed at the nightstand in awe.

"You're right! K. Rool would never want to demoralize himself! And the hiding place really is perfect!" Cranky said, impressed as he placed the precious object into the cylinder.

"Yup!" said DK as he knocked on the table 3 times, which caused the cylinder to close, and it slid out of sight, until the lamp was touching the surface of the nightstand.

"I think you've proven yourself capable of ruling the island now." Cranky said.

"You think so?" DK asked.

"You've got the Crystal Coconut in your possession now. And it's so well-hidden that the bad guys will never find it! Plus, look at how well you flush the bad guys out... when you know that they're around." Cranky said.

"What about when I was going to marry Candy? I was going to let the bad guys run off with the Crystal Coconut." DK remembered.

"That doesn't count, 'cause you were in love and wanted to be married, especially since the bride almost married that mama's boy, Bluster." Cranky said.

"Okay. I guess I'm ready!" DK said.

"Atta boy! By the way, where did you get the nightstand?" Cranky asked.

"I got it from Amanda." DK said.

"Amanda? Who is Amanda?" Cranky asked, unfamiliar with the name.

"She's the author. She knows geniuses from other Worlds, and she talked to them about building the nightstand, since I needed a new one. And they did. It was finished before Christmas, and even though she was planning to deliver it when it was ready, she was busy for several days before and after the holiday, which is why I got it today. She's also the one who suggested that it could be a hiding place for the Crystal Coconut." DK explained.

"That's right! But DK had to be the one to come up with the password, and I told him that it should be something a bad guy would never say. Boy, did he come up with a good one!" I said.

"I know. I still can't believe he came up with it." Cranky replied.

"How about we get back to the story?" I said.

"This chapter's pretty much done. We'll continue in the next chapter." DK said.

Alright! Now that DK's got the Crystal Coconut well-hidden, he's ready to rule the island! But it's best the bad guys think the Coconut is still in Cranky's possession, for what they don't know won't hurt them. Villains, beware! Stay tuned for more!