Disclaimer: I do not own Blindspot. More like it's the other way around… I've come to realize that THEY own ME. :)
He'd suddenly looked so serious. Granted, he was often serious, but the atmosphere among the four of them that night at the bar, and even between the two of them after Patterson and Zapata had gone to get another round of drinks, had been lighthearted. It was nice to see that side of him, to see that things between them had become so comfortable that they were able to spend time together outside of work.
The fact that he'd been sitting beside her, facing in her direction and not the table and the rest of the group, like the three women… well that was a coincidence to which she hadn't given a second thought. And the fact that once Patterson and Zapata got up in search of drinks, she swore she felt like he'd slowly moved closer to her, both of them bathed in the warm glow of the small candles on the table in front of them? That was also obviously a coincidence.
All of a sudden, it didn't feel like one, and her heart began beating faster despite the fact that she knew that she was overreacting.
Wasn't she? The more he spoke, the less it seemed that way. The more he spoke, the less real it all seemed.
"All of this… it led me to you. And you to me."
She breathed in deliberately, surprised at what she was hearing. Is this really happening? she wondered. But he wasn't done.
"And that is something that I would never want to undo."
He was looking directly into her eyes and saying these words, and she had to keep reminding herself that this was not her imagination. This was something she'd never even let herself imagine. It was more in line with some of the dreams she'd had, the ones that were so painful to wake up from because she felt an aching loss every time she realized that they hadn't been real. But, as incredible as it seemed, this wasn't a dream.
After everything she'd done, everything they'd been through, to end up here… It was unbelievable – far more than she'd let herself hope for after everything had fallen apart between them.
Her mind was struggling to process the words he was saying as she mostly looked into his eyes as well, with the occasional glance away, just for a second, because the intensity – as pleasant as it was – was overwhelming. It was hard to remember to breathe.
They began to move towards each other at almost the same time, Kurt closing the distance just a little faster, but Jane's face moving towards his as well.
There were only a very few inches left between them, if that much, even, their eyes already closed, when Patterson's voice announced their friends' return.
"Here we go, round three," the blonde called as she approached the table.
Jane paused, moved back slightly and then looked up at him, his face now directly in front of hers, his eyes now open and looking into hers in just as much surprise as there was on her face.
"Yeah," she whispered as she turned back to face away from him, towards the table. He remained facing her, Patterson and Zapata approaching from behind him, so that they couldn't see how his face twisted into a strange variation of a smile, a combination of surprise and frustration.
"The one with all the answers," Patterson promised.
Did that really just happen? he thought, still slightly in shock. We got that close, and then…
While he loved Zapata and Patterson like sisters, just then he hated them as though they were his sisters as well. His mind was reeling from what had just almost, but not quite, happened, and all he could think of was figuring out when his next opportunity would be when it could happen, without another interruption.
"Awesome!" he declared, pounding the table and moving back to where he'd been sitting when the other two had left, still facing Jane.
He laughed nervously as their two friends sat back down, none the wiser, because really, what else could he do? If Zapata and Patterson had taken two seconds longer coming back with the drinks, he would have been kissing Jane when they came back to the table. Of course, that wouldn't have been ideal, either, but…
Jane kept her eyes down, still shocked and, she could admit it, disappointed. As Zapata and Patterson settled themselves at the table and handed everyone their next round of drinks, Jane glanced up at Kurt again, seeing his eyes twinkling in the candlelight as he looked back at her for a second. She couldn't decide if she was imagining it, or if his gaze rested on her for longer than normal. It was tempting to believe that the expression on his face meant something, but the thought was also a little scary.
He just almost kissed you, would have kissed you, if Zapata and Patterson hadn't intervened, the voice in her head reminded her as if it was blatantly obvious. Of course that look on his face, the one he only gets when he looks at you, means something.
The conversation continued on between the four of them, Jane suddenly quieter than she had been, but the other women not finding anything necessarily strange about that by itself – at least not at first. Within a few minutes, however, Patterson began to notice that something seemed somehow different between the pair sitting across the table from her. When she tried to put her finger on it, she traced it back to when she and Zapata had gotten up to get the third round. Things had seemed normal before then, but Jane hadn't said a word since they'd come back.
They both looked slightly flushed when we sat down, come to think of it, Patterson decided, wondering what had happened between them in their short absence. Her mind jolted forward suddenly. Wait! it cried. Did something happen between them… Her thoughts were suddenly alight with possibilities. Had she and Zapata inadvertently interrupted something between them?
Looking back up from Jane to Kurt, she now looked for additional clues. After all, she was a keen observer of human nature, and a trained FBI agent. She could certainly figure this out – she knew these two almost as well as she knew herself. Jane looked more subdued than usual, and she kept glancing quickly at Weller with an expression to which Patterson was not accustomed and couldn't immediately identify. Weller, on the other hand, looked slightly more animated than usual. It was like they had both gone to opposite extremes, neither one of them quite acting like themselves.
"Hey, Zapata, I need to talk to you for a second," Patterson said, as casually as she could. She knew that subtlety wasn't her strong suit, however, at that moment she didn't care. Standing up, drink in hand, she quickly pulled a confused Zapata, who grabbed her drink as well, along with her from the table, as she dragged her towards the other end of the bar, around the corner and out of sight.
Kurt chuckled as the two of them watched Patterson lead Zapata away. "I think she may be onto us," he said, immediately moving closer to Jane, whose eyes had followed the two women out of sight and now focused on Kurt. When she looked back at him, to her surprise, he was suddenly almost as close as he'd been when they'd failed to kiss just a few minutes before.
"You think so?" she asked, not sure what else to say, or even how she felt about the other two figuring out what was going on.
He shrugged, grinning. "It seems like it. Patterson's pretty smart, after all, and she probably read us pretty easily. That's the problem with working with FBI agents who are so good at their jobs, I suppose…" His face was now even closer to hers, and once again she was alternating between looking up at him and looking down self-consciously for a few seconds at a time.
"Either way," he continued, "might as well take advantage of it." He was still slowly moving closer to her, his knee now brushing the side of her leg.
"You don't think they'll interrupt us again?" she asked. As much as she wanted to kiss him, she was still flustered from their last near miss.
"I don't care if they do," he said. "Next time I say we just keep going. They're smart… they'll get the hint." He grinned at her, their faces now close enough that his nose brushed against hers, and he held it there, the slight contact making them both more than a little bit giddy with anticipation.
Her face had been full of tension up until then, he'd noticed, but she smiled at his last comment, relaxing noticeably, finally letting herself surrender to the moment.
It's really going to happen this time, she thought, still in disbelief.
"Sounds like an excellent plan to me," she whispered, her eyes closing as he finally leaned forward across the last few inches that had separated them.
He smiled at her response, just a fraction of a second before their lips met, so that he was smiling into the kiss, a sensation that he'd never felt before. They didn't have as much privacy this time as the other two times they'd kissed, though they weren't exactly in the middle of a crowd. A table in a bar, even a dark, secluded corner table, was still slightly more public than an empty, darkened sidewalk or a deserted locker room, after all, especially with their friends waiting around the corner and, if he knew them, probably spying on them at that very moment. Honestly, he didn't care. As long as he finally got to kiss Jane again, nothing else mattered just then.
The kiss started slowly, almost uncertainly. It wasn't just simply a kiss between two people who were infatuated with each other, after all – though it could certainly be argued that they were also that. There was so much emotion between the two of them – there had been even at the very beginning, the first time she'd touched his face, after all – and now there was so much more than there had been before… It was all reflected in this kiss. This time, far more than either of the other two – which had each been perfect in their own way at the times that they had happened – the moment just felt… right.
As much as neither of them wanted to stop, even besides the fact that they needed air after a few minutes, because they were in a public place they slowly pulled back just enough to look into each other's eyes, both of their faces twinkling in the candlelight. He looked at her intensely, happy to see that unlike before, when she'd looked so self-conscious, so hesitant, almost nervous, she was now smiling warmly back at him, her eyes not darting away, but simply looking into his. That look matched how he felt, and he was fairly sure he had a goofy, love struck smile on his face, as well, one that was at least as big as hers, if not bigger.
"That's better," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. Her smile intensified, and her eyes fell closed once again, from the sheer intensity of her emotions just then.
"Yeah," was all she managed to whisper, which made him smile.
"We're going to have to do that again," he told her, a hint of insistence in his voice. He felt movement against his forehead as she chuckled quietly.
"Please tell me we don't have to go through Hell again first," she whispered, a slight hint of sadness in her voice. Her concern, while it sounded silly at first, was actually based on what had really happened after the other two times they'd kissed. They had gone through Hell after each of those kisses, and he felt a slight ache in his chest that that would be one of the first things she thought of this time. It shouldn't have to be like that. He wanted her to feel happiness, and nothing else.
"Not only will we not be doing that," he whispered without missing a beat, moving his forehead along hers without breaking contact until his leaned against her right temple, "we won't be waiting nearly that long." He kissed her cheek lightly, his right hand finding hers sitting on her right leg, squeezing it gently.
She felt herself surrendering to the dizzying feeling of joy that seemed to wrap around her at that moment. That kiss they'd just shared wasn't just something that had simply happened, past tense. No, this was something that he purposely wanted – more specifically, that he wanted to keep happening. Her stomach continued flipping with excitement, the warmth of this thought spreading slowly throughout her whole body as it penetrated her consciousness. At the same time that she was being overcome with happiness, she felt the sensation of doubt in the pit of her stomach, and it made her wince slightly before she could stop herself.
Leaning back and opening his eyes, he looked at her with concern, dismayed to see that her smile had faded and in its place he saw… was it fear?
"It's not going to happen this time, Jane," he said in a low, soothing voice, somehow recognizing her worry without her having to voice it. That was just how tuned into her he was.
Her eyes remained on him, and she smiled weakly but looked unconvinced.
"I'm not saying everything is going to be perfect," he said with a smile, "I think we both know better than to think that things will be easy for us…" Shepherd and Sandstorm were still out there, after all, and as long as that was true, their futures would be more uncertain than he was comfortable with. "But now we know better," he finished.
"Know better about what?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
His smile widened, and he kissed her temple. "We know better than to think that this," he paused and just looked into her eyes before continuing, "is something we can deny. I know that I can't."
Her response was immediate, as her smile returned, her face lighting up once again as she leaned her head against his, feeling her doubts dissipate, the knot in her stomach unclenching. Kurt turned slightly toward the bar, keeping contact with her by leaning his cheek against her temple as he raised his head slightly to look in the other end of the room out of the corner of his eye, then dragged his face slowly back along hers until their noses were once again very close together.
"Still no sign of our friends," he told her with a conspiratorial wink. Just then, the screen of his phone, which had been lying silently on the table this whole time, lit up in the darkness. Looking down, he saw a text from Patterson.
Is it safe to come back yet? it asked, a laughing emoji beside the words.
They both looked down at it, reading it and realizing that this meant that their friends did indeed know exactly what was going on. Without a word, Kurt released Jane's hand and picked up his phone, typing a text back. When he set it down a few seconds later, Jane smiled when she saw his reply.
5 more minutes.
Looking back up at him, she smiled teasingly. "What do you need five more minutes for?" she asked.
"You're about to find out," he told her with a playful grin, leaning forward to kiss her again.
Five minutes later, Patterson and Zapata rounded the corner slowly, glancing at the table they'd deserted a little while before. They'd both ordered more drinks, which they'd sipped at a table just around the corner from the bar, while they'd given Weller and Jane a little privacy. As they slowly returned, they weren't quite surprised to see that, as they approached the table, they were going to have to make some noise as they arrived if they wanted their friends to move away from each other whatsoever.
"Alright you two," Patterson said loudly, watching the two jump slightly, then relax against each other as they chuckled. "Break it up."
Jane and Kurt were still leaned into each other, less surprised this time. "I told you it wouldn't be long before the next time," he whispered to her. "And the next time may not be quite that soon, but I don't intend to wait months and months til then, either. I don't think I can ever wait that long again."
Patterson and Zapata sat down slowly, across from Weller and Jane, who were no longer kissing, but were now simply whispering quietly to each other. As they settled themselves in front of the pair, their friends finally looked up at them, smiling sheepishly.
"What's up, guys?" Zapata asked cheerfully, as if they didn't know exactly what was happening between the pair across from them. Kurt was still sitting close beside Jane, much closer than he had been before, his body turned in her direction, as it had been all night. Looking back Zapata realized that only now.
Patterson and Zapata watched as Jane blushed, glancing down at the drinks on the table, before looking up at their friends and their teasing smiles. Of course they knew, and it wasn't as though it was going to come as a shock to anyone after how close they'd grown recently, but she still felt self-conscious.
This is so cute, Patterson squealed inside her head, glancing from a flustered Jane to a grinning Weller. She was fairly sure she'd never seen Weller smile that broadly, and he kept glancing at Jane every few seconds, probably without even realizing it. He'd also slid all the way down the bench they were sharing to sit closer to her, and though they'd sat back slightly from each other when she and Zapata had sat down, he hadn't moved any farther down the bench from her.
Finally, thought Zapata, grinning at them. She bit her lip, knowing that she should hold in her comments about how damn long it had taken them the two of them to finally get together. She should… but then again, she was finishing her fourth round – or was it her fifth? – and dammit, she was allowed to say something… wasn't she? Looking from one of them to the other, her eyes widened slightly.
"I just realized something!" Zapata exclaimed, out of nowhere. "I was right!" The other three looked at her curiously. "Reade and I were having a… discussion… Damn… it was a really long time ago…" She looked up at Weller for a second, suddenly wondering if it had been a mistake to bring it up, considering just how long it had been, and how many things had happened since then, but the idea still seemed harmless in her head. "I told him that you guys were definitely going to…"
The grin on Zapata's face widened until it looked like it might actually crack, and Weller suddenly wondered how many drinks the two had managed to finish while they'd been off giving him privacy with Jane. It hadn't been that long… had it?
Zapata shook her head as she remembered, obviously amused by the memory. "Let's just say, we didn't agree." Then suddenly, realizing that her coworkers might make assumptions that weren't true, she added, "We didn't make a bet, or anything, if that's what you're thinking," she told them quickly. "It was solely for bragging rights. And I just won." She sat back, folding her arms over her chest, and looked smug. It was another few seconds before she realized that, since he was on leave, she didn't know when she'd see Reade next. Besides that, really, maybe Reade had enough on his mind. He might not especially care about something so trivial.
That's why he was wrong to start with, she thought. He rolled his eyes at me and tried to change the subject and told me to stop worrying about it… but I'm still right, she told herself. She might have to sit on this information for a while, but she'd give her partner a hard time about it… eventually.
"I think I'm ready to call it a night," Patterson said then, standing up and putting her hand on Zapata's shoulder after watching her friend's smile waver slightly, and considering the fact that Jane and Weller might want to be alone. "You want to share a cab with me? Or are you sticking around?"
Zapata nodded, standing up slowly and stretching. Jane and Weller would be happy to have some time alone, she was sure. "Yeah, I think I'm done, too." Looking back at the other two, still sitting there close together, Zapata couldn't help but smile. "You two going to hang out here?" she asked them. It didn't escape her attention when they both smiled awkwardly, glancing down at the table one at a time, at each other, and then back at Zapata and Patterson, now standing up and putting on their coats.
After looking into each other's eyes, though not actually speaking, they turned back toward their friends, who were standing in front of them and grinning. "Yeah, I think we'll hang out a little longer," Kurt told them. "Thanks for coming," he added. "Let's try to do this more often."
"We can try," Zapata shrugged, then whispered dramatically, "but my boss is a workaholic, so my hours are crazy." Kurt threw a wadded up bar napkin at her, which landed just short of her, and they all laughed.
"Good night, guys," Zapata grinned at them conspiratorially.
"Night," Patterson said with a grin, looking from one of them to the other.
Jane's smile took over her face. She couldn't help but think how lucky she was to be part of this strange little family. "Good night," she called.
Kurt nodded at them each in turn. "Night, be safe. Call if you need us," he replied. Before the two women left, Patterson squeezed herself around the side of the table and bent down to give Jane a quick hug.
"I'm so happy for you guys," she whispered in her ear.
Jane couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Patterson," she whispered back. "Good night."
Patterson and Zapata waved quickly at Weller and Jane and then turned, heading out of the bar and into the chilly air of a dark night, streetlights shimmering above them.
Back at the table, Jane and Kurt chuckled nervously, glancing at each other and smiling. "You want another drink?" Kurt asked her.
Jane shook her head, taking a sip of the drink she'd been nursing for quite a while now. "No, thanks. I'm good," she told him. "This is just… perfect."
He smiled warmly at her, nodding in agreement and leaning closer to her, sliding his left arm around her back. As he did, she leaned her head against his chest. "It is," he agreed. It was true, after all, because nearly everything about that moment was perfect. The candlelight made dim light bounce off of Jane's face and catching the twinkle in her eyes made her look even more beautiful than usual. The din of music in the background and the clink of glasses from around the bar were background noise, not too loud and not too quiet. And then, of course, there was the simple fact that being there with Jane – and now, only Jane – made everything just feel… perfect.
She sat up slightly, taking a sip of her nearly empty drink, and turned to find him looking at her intently. "What?" she asked, smiling back at him yet again.
He shook his head, the slight daze he'd been in clearing. "You look beautiful tonight," he said, before he'd had time to even think about what was going to come out of his mouth. "Not just tonight, of course… but especially tonight."
Feeling herself blushing a deep pink, Jane looked down for a second, smiling self-consciously. Meeting his eyes once again, she was quickly almost too distracted by the way he was looking at her to remember to reply. Almost. "Thanks," she whispered. Suddenly, they were moving towards each other, as if pulled by a magnetic force until their lips met all over again.
This time, there was no rush. Not that they had been exactly rushed before, but with their friends now gone, they had pretty much all the time in the world. Yes, they were still at the bar, but they were more or less in a dark corner…
When they finally stopped for air once again, he let his cheek fall against hers, resting his face there gently. Feeling her sigh in happiness against him, he wondered fleetingly if this was actually happening. They almost gotten here on numerous occasions, after all, but was this time actually real, or just wishful thinking?
"It seems too good to be true," she said quietly, smiling as she leaned against him.
"What does?" he asked, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. He was pretty sure he knew what she meant, he just wanted to hear her say it.
"This," she replied simply.
Chuckling softly, he nodded against her. "It does, doesn't it?" he asked. A few minutes passed as they sat in comfortable silence, moving away from each other only to take sips of their drinks, and then moving right back where they'd been, leaned against each other. Soon their glasses were empty, and he leaned down to speak near her ear.
"Are you sure you don't want another drink?" he asked.
"No, thanks," she assured him. "Though I am a little bit hungry."
This was unusual for Jane, since it was rare that she seemed to eat more than a little bit at a time. It was good, though, because it meant that she was slowly getting back to her pre-CIA self, before, among other things, she'd been so severely malnourished that she had trouble eating anything once she got back.
"Do you want to get something here, or go somewhere else?" he asked her. Either one was fine with him, he was just glad to hear her admit that she was hungry for once.
"A walk would probably be good," she said, thinking out loud. "Some fresh air, and all that." He nodded in agreement, and for no other reason than he felt like it, he kissed her cheek.
"What was that for?" she asked, looking at him with a grin.
"I need a reason?" he asked jokingly. "How about… I felt like it?" She chuckled at him, thinking back suddenly to what a contrast this Kurt was to the one she'd met on the first day she remembered, the first day she'd been Jane.
"That's an excellent reason," she told him with a grin.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't mind," he replied, the same grin on his face. Then, leaning back ever so slowly, just a little bit, he looked down at her and was momentarily overwhelmed. He just stared at her, an intense look coming over his face.
"You okay?" she asked, feeling just a little concerned.
"Nope," he said, his focus returning to her, "much better than just 'okay.'"
"Silly," she teased him.
"Maybe," he said with a shrug, "but it's the truth." He felt himself leaning towards her all over again, as if he had no control over the pull he felt. At that moment, the attraction was just too strong, especially now that there was no reason to fight it. He'd fought it for far too long, after all.
She couldn't help but smile when he leaned towards her again, despite the talk of leaving the bar for fresh air and food a few short seconds ago. There was no time, at least that she could remember, when she had been this happy – or anywhere near this happy, for that matter.
The same, intense smile was still on her face a few minutes later, when their lips parted once again and they both leaned back just enough for them to be considered two distinct people, and not just one entity.
"Sorry," he mumbled, "I couldn't help myself."
"If you think that was something to be sorry for," she said absently, her eyes still closed and her nose resting against his cheek, "then we need to discuss the meaning of sorry."
He couldn't help but chuckle then, letting his left arm, which was wound loosely around her, fall reluctantly from around her. Her face changed into a pout at the loss of contact. "Come on," he whispered, "let's get out of here and find some food." As much as she'd enjoyed the bar, she knew that she'd enjoy going with him, too. After all, it was far more about him than it was about where they were.
Moving toward the end of the bench closer to him, slowly, he took her hand as he moved, in an attempt to pull her along with him. It worked, and it was only a few seconds before he was steadying her with the hand he already held, as she moved sideways though the small space between the table and the wall, stepping out into the walkway that wound through the bar.
"Got everything?" he asked. Jane patted her the pockets of her jacket and nodded.
"Yep," she replied, taking another step closer to him for no reason other than, as he'd said, she just felt like it.
"Then let's go," he said as they started for the door. He held it open for her, as the chilly night air blew in, and she smiled. After all, it was just an excuse to lean against him. Not that she needed one, of course.
Again, she thought of how far they'd come since the beginning, and how many times they'd almost gotten here.
And now, finally, they had.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little "deleted scene." I have a few more ideas for what comes after it – another chapter or two worth – we'll see. You guys know by now that my estimates are usually wrong, anyway. :)