I stared at the far wall the news our friend John had shared with us shocked me to the core. We had all just learned from John that Jesus had been killed. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Matthew standing beside me.

"Matthew?" I asked.

I could see his face had lost its color he just stared into my eyes not saying a thing. I sighed sadly and for a moment he almost looked as if he was about to say something but then he just shook his head and walked shakily away from me to the table. I watched as he sank onto a chair at the table and just totally lose it.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomache as I watched all my other friends reacting to the news. James, John's brother and Peter collapsed upon one another in tears. Andrew, Peter's brother was at the window just staring out at the storm as he took in the news his body shaking. Phillip was holding Simon up so he wouldn't faint. Thaddeus was hugging James the less and Thomas tightly and John poor John was just standing there in the middle of it all his face white and looking for all the world like he wanted to die too.

I slowly walked up to John and put my arms around him in a tight hug. He threw his arms around me, buried his face on my shoulder and bawled. In that moment I started bawling with him. I didn't know what else to do.

"I'm...so sorry...John! I'm...so...sorry!" I just sobbed over and over again.

I felt his fingers running through my hair as we sobbed together. I don't know how long we stood there like that just trying to comfort each other. Eventally we all went to the table and sat down just trying to process what had happened.

Matthew glanced up at us as we sat down his face was wet with tears and still very white. Andrew gripped his hand into his. Our friend sighed softly as he closed his eyes again. "I can't...believe this...happened!" He choked out.

"None of us can.." Andrew whispered "And...I really...don't..." Sobs poured out of his mouth. "want to...believe...it...I...I...don't!"

Matthew pulled him close.

"Jesus was...our messiah...our best...friend!" James wailed hitting the table with a fist.

We gasped and James looked down at his hands. "I'm...sorry..."

Thaddeus sighed and shook his head. "James, it's ok. We're all really...upset about him dying..."

Our friend covered his face with his hands as John touched his brother's neck softly. Peter quietly prayed as he cried as well. He was begging for Jesus not to be dead and to come back to us. Slowly our friend laid his head on the table as he closed his eyes exhaustion was written all over his face and body.

"I...denied...him." Peter admitted to us.

Andrew sighed when our friend told us that. "I'm sorry, bud."

Peter nodded in silence.

"I miss him." I whispered.

"We all do." Thaddeus replied.

Phillip smiled sadly. "Remember he used to sing songs to us?"

I nodded. "Jesus had a wonderful voice."

Matthew looked up and began singing softly and we all smiled sadly and joined in the song

The End