Disclaimer: I do not own Blindspot. More like it's the other way around… I've come to realize that THEY own ME. :)
She heard the beeping before she actually woke up. She hadn't actually meant to fall asleep at Kurt's bedside, but she'd done it anyway, and the muscles in her back and neck were now screaming in protest. As she blinked groggily and glanced at the corner of the window not covered by the curtains, she saw that it was still dark outside.
What time is it?
"Ms. Doe." An unfamiliar voice was saying somewhere nearby.
Jane looked up at Kurt, who was asleep with a hint of a smile on his face. Before she turned to investigate who was talking to her, she smiled up at him. His expression was so peaceful.
Turning slowly, her eyes came to rest on a nurse in blue scrubs. "Sorry to bother you, Ms. Doe, but we've been instructed to check you out for any injuries. I've been told you had quite the day yourself, even if you're in better shape than Mr. Weller here."
Jane's eyes quickly went back to him, studying him worriedly. They didn't exactly have a great track record in hospitals. It seemed that almost without exception, members of their team either checked themselves out against the advice of medical professions before they should, or were attacked by armed gunmen before they could leave. Therefore, she couldn't be sure he'd be safe without her.
"He'll be fine," the nurse said soothingly. "And I see in his chart that he's usually… a little reluctant to wait to be discharged. We're going to be checking on him more regularly than usual, and we'll let him know where you are when he wakes up. Alright?" The nurse was looking at Jane expectantly, but she still wasn't sure. "With any luck, you'll be done before he wakes up," the other woman added.
To Jane's disappointment, she was not done by the time Kurt woke up, however. While she really hadn't thought there was anything major wrong with her, the medical staff disagreed, and wanted to keep her for observation. "At least for a few more hours," they told her. To Jane, scrapes and sprains, as she thought of her injures, were nothing serious. The pain in her ribs? Not a big deal. The dizziness that lingered in her head? Absolutely not a problem. But the doctor frowned at her when she expressed that opinion.
They just don't understand, she thought in annoyance. If I can survive and escape from a black site, I don't need a hospital stay for a few scrapes and sprains.
"Ms. Doe, somehow I get the feeling that you're one of those people who doesn't really do 'taking it easy.' Would that be a fair characterization?" the doctor asked patiently. Jane saw where this was going, but played along anyway.
"Yes," she grumbled.
"As I suspected. Which means that if I discharge you now, you're unlikely to, say, take a few days off to rest?"
"I just want to keep you for a few more hours, to make sure you're stable. No sense rushing back into things and collapsing. Besides, I'm told you only really had a little nap in Mr. Weller's room. You may as well get some sleep, and that way everybody wins."
Jane thought about this carefully. She didn't like being here any longer than she had to, and she wanted to get back and check on Kurt. At the same time, fatigue had finally caught up with her, and enough parts of her ached that she knew she should rest. After all, who knew what might happen next? It would appear that at that moment, the world didn't need saving, but that could change at any moment.
"Can I go back and see Kurt?" she asked.
"Not right now," the doctor said. "But I'll have someone check and see how he's doing, and we'll make sure that one of you makes it to the other one soon, whoever's discharged first. How about that?" His brown eyes were fixed on hers, waiting for an answer.
She sighed heavily, unsatisfied with the answer but unusually agreeable. "Okay."
"Good. Now get some rest, please," he told her as he departed. Jane nodded weakly, even though the doctor was already gone. In seconds, her eyes had closed against her will. She really was too exhausted to even think of leaving. Hopefully by the time she woke up, they'd tell her she was cleared to go.
The next thing she knew, she was standing smack dab in the middle of the bustling crowds of Times Square, in front of the Toys R Us that she knew for a fact was no longer there. This was the exact spot where she'd crawled out of the bag.
"Jane." His voice was music to her ears, and she turned around to see Kurt standing close to her – close enough that when she smiled uncertainly, he reached out and took her hand, each of them stepping closer and watching the other carefully. Now her expression turned self-conscious, and she looked away. She knew it wasn't real, but she didn't care. The whisper of his voice telling her that he loved her floated through her mind, and she smiled up at dream-Kurt in front of her. There was no longer any harm in enjoying this.
"What are we doing here?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know. It's your dream." They both chuckled, gazing at each other fondly.
"So, you don't want me to move to California, huh?" she asked jokingly.
"Absolutely not," he said. "I don't want you to move anywhere. At least, not without me. And truth be told, I don't want to move to California. It's fun to visit, but I'm an East Coast guy."
She stared up at him, trying to tell herself that this was all real. Well, not the dream she was currently having, but the fact that Kurt Weller had told her that he loved her the day before. When she thought about it, she couldn't help the goofy grin spreading slowly across her face. It was completely impossible… except that it had happened. In fact, thanks to their comms, the whole team had gotten to hear it.
"What are you smiling about?" he asked, stepping closer. He let go of her hand, and now his arms circled around her waist.
"What about me?"
If she didn't know better, she'd think he was teasing her on purpose. He probably just wants to hear you say it. She screwed up her face and somehow managed to smile and look annoyed at the same time – teasingly, of course. He grinned that full face, little boy grin that she loved so much, and her features relaxed into a shy smile. Slowly, her hands moved up his arms to his shoulders, where they paused. Both of their grins were gone, and they were staring intensely into each other's eyes. Her hands moved a little farther, onto the back of his neck, where her fingertips massaged the soft ends of his short hair.
"Everything about you."
"Wow. You sure about that? Everything?"
She burst out laughing then, taking half a step back just because of the force of her laughter. Kurt was laughing too, even as someone in the crowd bumped into them, apologizing quickly. He pulled her tighter so that she didn't lose her balance, tugging her closer until he was kissing her forehead.
She tilted her eyes upwards, focusing on his face. That face. This man. This impossible life of ours.
As she opened her mouth to say something, however, she heard his voice again. It echoed as if the sound had traveled across a great distance. His mouth hadn't moved, though, and he couldn't be any closer to her.
With a sigh, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, just a quick peck on dream-Kurt's lips before he disintegrated in front of her. It's okay, she reminded herself, even though the feeling was disconcerting. This time, she knew what was happening.
She was surrounded by white, as if she'd stumbled into a bright empty room with no windows, doors or furniture. "Jane…" There was the voice again. It sounded a little closer now, but still a whisper. She smiled, knowing exactly who that voice belonged to and what it meant.
When her eyes fluttered open, she found Kurt perched on the edge of her bed. He was holding her hand and smiling at her. "Jane, hey…" he whispered.
"Hey yourself," she managed quietly. "How are you feeling?" He was dressed in his own clothes, she noticed.
"Sore, but doing better. They cleared me to go home. I'll stick around here and wait for you, though…"
"I'd love that, but you should go home and take a nap. Just because they released you doesn't mean you don't need your rest." The look in her eyes said that there would be no argument.
"Only if you promise me something," he said, leaning closer to her.
"And what's that?" Her lips were tilting upwards of their own accord, and the intensity with which he was suddenly looking at her made her slightly giddy.
"Check in with me every couple hours. And let me know when you're discharged. And, if there's any kind of shoot-out, you don't try to take on the bad guys single-handedly."
"Hospitals do tend to be kind of dangerous for us, don't they?" Jane's eyes danced in amusement, and his serious expression as he waited for her to agree to his terms only made her smile harder.
"Fine. If that's what it takes to get you to go home and rest, I can do that. Well, I can at least promise the first two. The third one…" When his eyes narrowed at her, she couldn't help but grin even harder. "But you," she added, "have to promise to go home and rest, and not go straight to work."
"The thought never crossed my mind," Kurt replied innocently.
Jane sputtered with laughter. "Liar." She shook her head, gazing at him in awe. I do not deserve him.
"What?" he asked.
"What about me?"
"Everything about you." She stole the words directly from her dream, leaning her face closer to his until the tips of their noses made contact.
"Alright Ms. Doe, I'm here to take your vitals," said a nurse who had entered the room without them noticing, thanks to their focus on each other.
"That's my cue," he whispered, before leaning the rest of the way forward to kiss her quickly on the lips and then move back, standing stiffly. His movements and the expression on his face gave away the fact that while he may have been discharged, he was a long way from healed. "I'll talk to you later?"
"Yes," Jane agreed.
"And maybe I'll see you later?" he asked hopefully.
Once again, her smile filled her face from one side to the other. "I'd like that."
He got as far as the doorway before he stopped and turned to smile at her. The nurse had already begun her work, but Jane's eyes remained on Kurt. They gave each other the same smile, but neither of them said anything. They didn't need to. It was all there in their eyes. And then he was gone, and she relaxed back against the pillow, closing her eyes as the nurse did whatever it was she'd needed to do.
The hours passed slowly but uneventfully. Jane alternated between watching TV and napping. She wanted nothing more to leave the hospital, but at the same time, her exhaustion told her that she really should just wait until the doctor told her she could go. They'd had to redo one of her tests – she didn't even know which one – and were awaiting the results. Better safe than sorry, they'd said.
She had a lot of time to think. They'd stopped Shepherd, which was major. Once again, they'd saved the world. She felt a pang when she thought of Roman, knowing the terrible things he'd done and the consequences of letting him go. But he was her brother, and she just hadn't been able to shoot him. That would have been the only way to bring him in.
Closing her eyes, once again she saw the black and white flashes of memory. She saw herself and Roman as children. On one hand, it wasn't his fault. On the other, she wished she could have been stronger.
The day passed this way, with Jane drifting in and out of sleep, sometimes focusing on the TV and sometimes not. Everything seemed to be taking longer than it should, but she couldn't worry about it. For once, she was too worn out.
Just after lunch time, she was given the all clear. She texted Kurt to let him know, and on a hunch asked him where he was. There was a pause, and when he replied, she could hear the sheepishness loud and clear in his text as he admitted that he'd gone to the office. Hirst had sent him to their medical team, he said, to be sure he was fit for duty.
Laughing out loud at the predictability of this man, she felt sore in a few places that she hadn't known were sore. With a groan, she stood up and gathered her clothes, got dressed and got her things together. She was ready to go home and take a shower, at least, and then go from there. As much like Kurt as she was, she hadn't ruled out the fact that she, too, would end up at the office, but she'd have to see how the day went. After all, Kurt was there…
Later that afternoon, her phone buzzed on the nightstand beside her. She'd showered and then lay down with the intention of just resting for a little while, but she'd ended up falling asleep. As she focused on the phone beside her, she realized that this was the first time in a long while that she'd slept without dreaming. She smiled to herself as she reached for her phone.
I wonder if the dreams will stop now.
To her surprise, it wasn't Kurt on the phone, but Hirst. Her boss said that she'd just called to check and see how Jane was doing. "You should take at least a few days off," the other woman said.
With a laugh, Jane replied, "You obviously don't know me very well."
There was more laughter at the other end of the phone. "You and Agent Weller are like two peas in a pod, aren't you?" Hirst asked.
"Yeah. We're both a little stubborn."
"Well, just so you know, he showed up at work today and was sent straight to Medical to be cleared by our people. Just in case you're getting any ideas about doing the same."
"I'm at home," Jane assured her. "I've been resting for the last few hours. Hadn't decided what to do next. But I get the feeling that you'd have sent both of us to Medical even if we'd waited til next week to come back in."
"You're probably right," Hirst laughed. "Anyway, I'm glad you're doing alright, Jane. Y'all did a hell of a job yesterday. You should be proud."
"Oh, uh, it was—" She started to defer her boss' accolades, but Hirst saw it coming.
"And I know, Roman got away. But you stopped the attack, and you got Shepherd. Those two things are huge. As for your brother, well, we'll get him. We have the upper hand now."
"Yeah," Jane said quietly, rubbing her temple with her free hand and thinking about the moment when Roman had looked her in the eye.
"Bye, Jane," he'd said, and walked away. She hadn't meant to sigh, but Hirst heard it loud and clear.
"I'll let you go. I'm glad you're alright. Keep in touch, and get some rest. We'll need you to save the world again very soon, I'm sure." Hirst was winding down, and Jane was glad. She was suddenly very tired all over again.
"Thank you," Jane said. "I'll see you soon." As she ended the call, a text suddenly popped up on her screen.
How are you? Yes, I'm at the office – don't start. Hirst sent me to Medical to be poked and prodded again. Now waiting. It's so boring just sitting here.
With a grin, she answered immediately. That's what you get for rushing right back to work.
Admit it, you're thinking of doing exactly the same thing, aren't you? He wasn't wrong.
Maybe. I just woke up from a nap. Not sure what I'm doing next.
Well, I can tell you that you should take it easy. But I know you, so I assume I'll see you here by the end of the day.
You're probably right. I'm going to get something to eat and then consider my next move.
Nice. I'll talk to you later, then.
She walked around her kitchen, but found that she wasn't really hungry. Grabbing an apple, then her jacket, keys and wallet, she headed out the door. Admit it. You're heading right back to work at least partially because you want to see him.
Well, maybe. Or I could say that if Hirst's going to send me to Medical anyway, I might as well get it out of the way. Jane smiled to herself as she walked to the subway. Okay, he's a big reason why I'm heading back there. I'm okay with that.
It seemed that they were destined to miss each other that afternoon, however. When Jane arrived in Medical, Kurt was nowhere to be seen. He was talking to the doctor, they said. So the nurses started in on her, updating her chart. When she asked about him later, she was told that he'd been cleared while her tests had been underway. Smiling at the absurdity of their timing, she shook her head. It didn't matter. She'd see him afterwards. The team was meeting for celebratory drinks later, at his apartment, so she'd just catch up with him there.
From Medical she went to SIOC, which was relatively deserted. She popped her head into Hirst's office, finding her poring over papers at her desk. Her boss told her what she suspected when she looked around the deserted screens room. Kurt had been there, but she'd sent everyone home a little while ago. "As long as you're here, though, have a seat."
Ducking out of Hirst's office a little while later, Jane headed for the elevator. She pressed the button, checking the time and realizing that the team would already be at Kurt's place. For a second she considered texting him, but then decided she'd rather just show up and surprise him. It wasn't a real surprise, because he was expecting her, but even so, it would be fun.
The whole way there, images of the two of them from the past few days danced before her eyes. And then there were older images of them as well – only the happy ones. Still, she kept coming back to her favorite memory.
"Jane… Don't move to California. Stay here… with me… I love you, Jane. I love you."
It seemed more likely to be a dream than any of the actual dreams that she'd had about him, and yet no, this one was real. By the time she got off the subway, she couldn't contain the grin on her face. He loves me. And I… I love him, too.
When she let herself into his apartment, the festivities were in full swing. After everything they'd all been through, it was a relief to see these people that she loved so relaxed and happy. While she wasn't nervous, exactly, the words she'd just discovered inside her were bursting to get out, and she wasn't going to be able to wait much longer to tell him. I love you. I love you. I love you.
"I didn't think you were coming." He'd already closed most of the distance between where he'd stood with the others in the kitchen to the door by the time the words were out of his mouth.
"Can I talk to you for just a second? Outside." She motioned to the hallway with her head, and Kurt's face tensed slightly.
He closed the door behind them, and Jane fumbled with her words for a second, trying to figure out where to start. She was suddenly much more self-conscious than she'd imagined herself being, but that didn't change the urgency she felt to say the words out loud. She smiled, trying to collect herself so she could reassure Kurt, who now looked worried. Staring at the floor for a second, she centered herself before she began.
"So they said I could go anywhere."
Kurt leaned back against the opposite wall of the hallway, his arms across his chest as if braced for the worst.
"But this is where I wanna be." His mouth twitched into a smile now, and she felt her heart beating faster. A few more seconds passed, during which they just stared into each other's eyes, like they'd done so many times before. "I love you too, Kurt."
She drew in a deep breath, exhaling loudly and trying to find the rest of the words she'd planned to say. They seemed to have completely deserted her. Staring at the floor for only a few seconds, she looked up to find that he was no longer across the hall. Without stopping, he was moving toward her. "And I just…" But he was shaking his head at her, and his hand had already come up to her face as he leaned in to kiss her. No more words were required.
A few minutes later they re-entered the apartment to find that the rest of the team had decided to make a quick getaway. How had they known that it would be best for everyone? It didn't matter. As the door closed behind Patterson, the last one to say goodbye, Jane and Kurt looked at each other. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? their expressions seemed to ask each other. In seconds, it was clear that they had been. Yes, it was time to make up for a lot of lost time.
The dream was different this time, Jane noted. She couldn't quite put her finger on why. As she found herself lying on her side, with Kurt's arms wrapped around her and his chest pressed against her back, she listened to him breathing gently near her ear. He was still asleep, she could just tell, and as much as she wanted to look back at him, she wasn't going to risk moving and upsetting the delicate balance of this dream. Of course, after the previous night, she wasn't sure it was necessary to hold onto these dreams anymore. After all, now they had the real thing. But she certainly had no complaints about seeing him while she slept.
It was amazing how far they'd come. From the day when he'd arrested her at gunpoint, to this. How in the world had they come full circle? It didn't seem possible. And yet, last night had been very real. She grinned to herself, remembering.
The arms around her tightened, and Kurt mumbled something in her ear. Her chuckle shook both of them, since he was holding onto her tightly. Turning slightly to look at him over her shoulder, she grinned and asked, "What was that?"
"Good morning," he mumbled, slightly more clearly, as he kissed her cheek. His eyes were still barely open. "I was afraid I'd dreamed last night, but I'm glad to see that you're real, and you're still here."
Wait. What? This isn't a dream?
"I'm pretty sure I really got here last night, and we talked, and, uh…" She blushed slightly. "I know last night was real. I woke up and thought that this was a dream, though. I'm still not convinced it's not."
He kissed her cheek again. "Last night was very real." He chuckled. "And unless I'm mistaken, this morning is real, too."
"Are you sure? I mean, the other times, I always thought they were real, until I woke up."
Shit. Did I say that out loud?
"The other times?" Kurt smiled at her quizzically, and she blushed again.
Closing her eyes, she just shook her head and leaned her forehead against his face. It doesn't matter now, she told herself, because it didn't. This time, it was real.
"I'd like to hear about this," he said gently. "But first, I want to tell you something."
Opening her eyes again, she turned onto her back so that she could peer directly into his. "What's that?" she asked quietly.
"I love you," he said simply. His smile was reverent, and she couldn't have stopped the joy that filled her face if she'd wanted to – which she didn't.
She was surprised how moved she was by those three words, even though it wasn't the first time she'd heard them. It was different this time. He was no longer asking her for something – not to move to California – but simply stating a fact.
"I love you, too." The words came out in a whisper. She was in awe of this moment in every way possible. Chuckling softly, she added, "You may have to pinch me."
"I'd rather kiss you. Would that be alright with you?" he asked.
Once again her face lit up. She nodded and Kurt leaned closer, slowly, until their lips met.
Later, Jane knew, they would go to work. There was still so much to be done – in their line of work, they would never really be finished. But before that, there was this blissful moment in time, when for once she wasn't trapped in a dream that felt too perfect, one from which she would wake up and find herself alone all over again. Finally, she'd ended up where she belonged.
A/N: And yes, ignore ALLLLLL the crap that comes after this on the show. Or just choose selectively from the happy moments of s3 without the 18 month separation. In any case, thank you for sticking with me on this one. Life happened around me and it took a lot longer than expected to get it done. Along the way I learned that though I wanted to just write plain fluff, I seem to be incapable of that. Attaching this fic to the show's plot was fun, but it meant I had to get to the correct stopping point. But it's been a fun ride, inventing little scenes for Jane and Kurt in Jane's dreams. I hope you enjoyed it. :)