3Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show, the Groundhog Day concept or the lyrics of I Have a Dream by ABBA. This story involves events during That 70s Show's Season 5's 23 episode called Nobody's Fault But Mine. This story was also inspired by and the 1993 movie Groundhog Day written by Ramis and Danny Rubin and time loop fanfiction like Hyde's Long Way Home by MistyMountainHop.
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail.
Lyrics from I Have a Dream by ABBA
Chapter 1:
June 9th, 1978
Version 1022
"If I ever have to see that dress again, I will die." Donna leaned back against the tree near us.
I lean against the tree as well and consider the foul dress in question. The dress might be just the right thing to spice up the next version of today.
"You know what? Tomorrow we need to throw it into the lake." I point towards the great big lake in the distance. It brings back good memories. I remember when we went skinny dipping a few versions back. It was such a great night. Though we did flash a few pervs.
"Or maybe we should rip it to shreds and grab some of dad's glittery paint." Donna laughs at the thought. "It'll certainly brighten up tomorrow."
Yes. I can see us doing that. We will finally ruin that tiny wedding dress Mrs. Forman keeps offering Donna as a joke again and again and again and again. And, unlike what one would think, I'm not exaggerating. Mrs. Forman has offered Donna that dress far too many times to count and always in the same way. See, we have lived the same day over and over again. We're trapped and I doubt there's a way out. Donna and I lived so many June 9ths by now that we've long given up on dreaming for tomorrow.
And that's all right. We've long figured out ways to make each version of today more and more exciting. Sometimes we don't even have to try to make our lives exciting. We have fought, suffered far too many heartbreaks, died more times than I can count, learned more about every member in the Point Place community than I could ever imagined, and discovered the juiciest of secrets.
Occasionally, I think that our lives are more of an adventure now then ever before because we now know nothing matters. See, everyone else will forget whatever we do in the next repeat of today no matter what and that means we can complete the most foolish of activities and never face the repercussions for too long.
It's almost a dream come true.
It's hard to believe I was so torn up over a boy on the original version of today. Now Hyde hardly matters at all.
June 9th, 1978
Version 1
When Steven just told me that he cheated on me with a random nurse, I was utterly heartbroken. All those weird feelings that had bothered me throughout the past year just shattered into a billion pieces and now I'm clueless about how to move on. I really thought the rough beating of my heart was the heartbeats of passion. That the way my skin tingled when he rubbed his face against mine whenever we kissed was something more, something like love.
But all it was was some heavy make-out sessions that could matter less to him.
Drat. I can't even fool myself. It did mean as much to him as it did to me. It had to. The look on my poor boy's face when I told him we were through. He was so heartbroken. Were there tears about to pour out his eyes?
I should go back to him. Back to the car and tell him I forgave him.
I take a step towards his car and then stop. No. I can't take him back. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven. He cheated on me. And worse, he couldn't trust me. I told him I was over Michael, but he still couldn't get it out of his mind.
The world would be so much better without boys. They're always so stupid, always thinking about sex and ways girls can feed their horney moods. It's just ridiculous. How they just can't understand that all we want is to be trusted and loved and someday get married. Sure, I kissed that cheese guy once, but that was a spur of the moment event and so long ago.
Love. It's worth nothing. Hoping for Steven's love is pointless. He can't give me what I want.
I need to talk to Donna. She can help me. She would know how I can forget about that horrible poor boy who ruined my heart.
June 9th, 1978
Version 45
"Come on, Jackie. Lets dance," Donna cheers me on.
I still can't believe she took me to the roller disco club. She hates the place. It brings back memories about Eric. About how the scrawny boy couldn't dance, which just reminds her that he refused to marry her on all those repeated June 9ths when she attempted their joyful union. At least Stev-. No. I will not think of him. I will not. In this version of June 9th, it's all about me and Donna and us having the time of our lives. We deserve a break from yet another recount of the same conversations or long drives to nowhere.
She starts shimmying up next to the tall, steamy blond guy she picked up earlier. They are twirling around, laughing greatly together. Times like these I can remember that Donna actually enjoys dancing. If Eric was here, I'd imagine he would start choking on air. He would deserve it. He did stand with Steven far to many times on the nurse thing.
Come on, Jackie. Forget it. Forget him. Tonight's for dancing.
"Jackie!" Donna is screaming louder now, agreeing with my thoughts. "Dance, midget, dance."
"All right!" I smile my best smile and grab the nearest boy and twirl under his arms.
Soon we're spinning around the room as the club plays its bright music that warms my heart more than kissing Steven ever would. The I'm with pushes me closer and soon I feel his breath near mine. He's leaning in and I'm all for fair play. Our kiss is so perfect. As his tongue enters my mouth, I can taste the sweet taste of oranges. Far better than the nasty taste of beer always in Steven's mouth.
"I guess it's a good thing I did it with that nurse." My legs stumble as they burn as hot as fire. I can't believe Steven was able to follow us here. We were so careful to leave the Pinciotti's house early in the morning while he still was with that nurse. Worst, Eric, Michael and Fez are with him. None of them look happy.
Right, in our haste to leave without them knowing, we missed breaking up with Steven and Eric today. Well, who could blame us. After telling them who knows how many times during the past versions of today, it became really old. Especially when Eric starts crying like a baby and Steven looks at me all heartbroken.
"Guess it is," I snap back. He has no right to be angry. I was faithful until he screwed me over for comforting Michael. "Now, if that's all you have to say. Get out. Me and Donna don't need you guys to follow us around."
"Yeah. Get lost, dillholes." Donna skates over to stand next to me. She's still pissed about the five times Eric left her at the altar with the same stupid excuse of waiting for a wedding license first. We both knew he was too scared to admit he wasn't ready to marry her. He's that much of a pansy.
"Donna. Can we talk? Did I do something wrong?" Eric's eye are all puffy and gross as he stares at her in that freaky, lovesick way of his.
"It's not you. It's me. I'm tired of all this. Ok," Donna states honestly.
Maybe she is just tired of him not remembering what she said before. That thing that led to that really happy version of today for the both of them.
"But Donna. You know you can tell me if something's bothering you. Are you freaking out about the wedding? I'm fine with waiting. Years if we have to."
"Oh, Eric." I can see Donna is beginning to feel awful. Probably thinking this Eric doesn't deserve this treatment because he wasn't one of the Erics who hurt her. "I'm sorry."
And there she goes again. Taking that weakling back.
"I know. This is hard on me too." How can he be so understanding?
Steven is still looking at me like I'm the devil and all I did was kiss a guy to forget about the life-ruining nurse.
I look back for the guy I danced with and realize he's long gone. He's now on the other side of the rink dancing with some tiny blonde girl.
"Nothing less than what you deserve," Steven comments, nodding towards my former Roller Disco partner.
"It's nobody's fault but yours. I would never have done this if you hadn't done it with that nurse." I hate how tears are starting to leak done my cheeks. "Now I'm stuck in this day after day after day. I just want to forget you. Why'd you have to follow us? Why couldn't you leave me alone."
He stares at me with one of his frequent Zen-like stares. "Fine. If that's what you want. Then stay away from me. Never return to the damn basement. None of us want you there."
To my surprise both Michael and Fez nod.
"How can you agree with him? You both love me," I blurt out without thinking. Feeling tears coming out.
Fez just shrugs while Michael smiles widely.
"Sorry, Jackie," Michael tells me. "I'm all for us doing it at Donna's place."
"But." More tears are falling out. I just want them to stop. But no, they continue on while Kelso asks for sex again.
Worse, Steven has walked away and now heads towards the exit with Fez at his heals. While Kelso talks, I'm stuck looking at Steven's back. He really doesn't care. He really hates me. I need him to look at me. Why can't he just look at me again?
Why do I even care anyways? The ultimatum will be forgotten by them in a few hours.
I don't care. I don't care. I swear on my favorite pair of Etienne Aigner sandals, I don't care.
Fine. I care. I hate how his dismissal proves that I'm now on the other side of the conversation the first day. I'm now the one who needs to ask for forgiveness.
June 9th, 1978
Version 1
Im reading Cosmo's latest magazine when Steven enters the room I share with Donna. He slams the door shut and quietly moves to sit on Donna's bed. I try to ignore him and focus on my magazine.
While I try to concentrate on a picture of some nice bags, I focus instead on his words of apology. To stop him from continuing, I say something. Anything to make him stop talking. I hope it sounded completely uncaring.
Even if it does, it doesn't work. He continues on with meaningless and unhelpful words. I find myself looking up and telling him something I don't want to think about. I'm that tired of his face.
And then he completely ruins my Zen by saying he loves me. How could he? Why couldn't he have told me that during a candle-lite dinner or while we watched the sunset at a beach or even in his stinky basement room. Now his words of love will always relate to his betrayal. I can't take this. Not now. I have to leave my room.
I wander off without thinking, barely noticing Bob's hello. I bump into Donna on the porch. In greeting, she complains loudly, "I don't know what's with everyone today, but I'm tired of all the adults telling us to get married. I wish I could just tell them to fuck off without them remembering and bothering me about it afterwards."
"And I wish I had another chance to break up with Hyde before he broke up with me."
We both laugh and Donna hits me on the arm gently. "I know what make you feel better. How about we buy that dress you were talking about the other day."
"Yes! And then we can stop by the spa and get manicures!" And like that, I feel so much better. Even Donna's disdainful expression towards my suggestion makes me cheerful because I know she'll agree as much as she hates it.
Tonight, I will live the wonderful life of Jackie Burkhart- the Prettiest Single Lady of Point Place.
I can figure out what's next tomorrow.