Chapter One - A Meeting Gone Wrong

"" The world renown sounds of a sleeping Italian filled the meeting room, adding a gentle rhythm to the overwhelming noise of bickering nations. Said Italian was sprawled over the table, his head resting lightly on folded arms while his body rose and fell with the his gentle breathing. All around him the nations bickered.

On the other side of the table France and England were currently trying to throttle one another while America laughed loudly at their antics. Beside Italy, Japan sat primly, his back straight and his hands in his lap as he calmly and with measured tones, agreed with everything America said or did. Next to Japan, China was face palming, shaking his head in woe at the antics of the Westerners whilst under the table he periodically sold sweets to America for extortionate prices. Next to China sat Russia who was smiling happily, completely content as he joyfully hugged his large, metal pipe. There was a gap between Russia and America...why was there an empty chair that said "eh?" Spooky. Next to Italy on the other side sat Germany, who looked like he was undecided between popping a vein, downing a beer or just giving up and going home to lie down in a darkened room. Eventually, he seemed to decide on the first.

"Enough!" He bellowed, his voice carrying across the room, "Sit down and shut up the lot of you!" He bent down to Italy and cuffed him roughly around the ear, startling the Italian into waking, "Italy its your turn to present and then we can break for lunch." He sighed, sitting down and trying to ignore how everyone perked up at the word lunch.

"As long as England is not cooking then it shall be wonderful." One punched Frenchman later and the room finally settled.

Italy stood up and went over to the front, "Ve-ciao everyone! Germany said I wasn't allowed to present on pasta even though pasta is amazing. I like pasta!" Italy beamed a smile at the group who collectively did not give the surprised reaction at his proclamation that he was looking for. Undeterred, he continued, "Pasta is delicious and I'm going to have some for lunch. But we are here to talk about global warming and apparently that's not solved by pasta which is silly because everything is solved by pasta." Italy frowned at this metaphysical conundrum. "Ve...I suggest we make a giant white flag and put it on the ground and surrender and retreat from global warming." Proud, the Italian nodded, happy with his speech and not noticing the sea of blank faces in front of him.

"You can't surrender to global warming! What you need is a giant hero to go and fight global warming." No prizes for guessing which American said that.

"I agree with America." Japan nodded, trying to pretend he had never uttered those words before.

"Aiyaa, form your own opinions! Giant white flags and heroes. Whatever nonsense is next aru?" China paused for a moment before adding, "If either project goes ahead allow me to manufacture it at a cut price."

"Global warming become one with Mother Russia da?"

Awkward silence.

"Italy's idea might work as the white of the flag would reflect the suns rays in a similar way to the polar ice caps and would cool the global temperature down eh." The chair spoke.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada..." The chair sighed.

"Is it me or is this place spooky?" America jumped to his feet and looked around in fear, "Not that I'm scared I just need to know to activate my hero powers." He nervously hid behind France who only slightly tried to molest him - really the nation of love was quite restrained.

"America stop being a twat and sit down." England said, before daintily sipping his tea.

"What's a twat? Can you eat it?" America asked, ghosts forgotten.

England sighed and seemed to count to ten in his head before replying, "You're a twat and no you can't eat it." He pointed to America's chair with an impatient expression and eventually the other complied and took a seat.

"If we can return to the topic at hand..." Germany started, desperate for some focus.

"Can we make climate change some delicious pasta?" Asked Italy, his expression hopeful as he looked at Germany, awaiting approval for his ideas from his friend.

"No can't make climate change some pasta and a giant white flag won't stop climate change either. Now do you have any sensible ideas?" Germany tried to hide his frustration but he felt a pounding headache coming on and was being rather short with the other in his tone of voice.

"Ve...what about introducing climate change to a pretty girl?" Italy bounced enthusiastically on the balls of his feet, excited at the prospect, "It will make climate change happy if it is with a pretty girl! Then it'll stop being angry at us, ve!" He clapped his hands together excitedly. "We can then feed it pasta with the pretty girl and we can have pasta t-"

As the Italian spoke he got more and more excited which meant he bounced more and more, causing him to trip over his untied shoelaces. This caused an unfortunate chain reaction. Italy tripped and fell onto Japan who flung his arm up instinctively, in the process he let go of the pen he was using to diligently make notes on the meeting. The pen went sailing into the air and landed on the table in front of Russia who was startled and smashed down his lead pipe into the table in front of him. Splinters went flying in all directions but most landed on Canada who dropped his polar bear in surprise. The polar bear then wondered off and bit England in the foot which caused England to punch France and the two started bickering, wringing each other's necks once more. The two rolled around and cannoned into America who then joined in their fight by picking up the remnants of the table and lobbing it at them. The two were knocked backwards (still squabbling) and cannoned into Germany who was trying to pick Italy up off the floor.

China sat unscathed and mumbled something about idiots.

France flung his arms around Germany and England, "Bonjour mes amis!" He spoke flirtatiously, winking at England.

"Get off me you bloody wanker!" England punched France...a recurring theme of the meeting, ironically more so than the topic of the meeting.

Germany shoved France and England off him before looking around at the carnage, his gaze resting on the cause of all this chaos - Italy. He grabbed the culprit by the ear and dragged him off out of the meeting room, his face red with anger. Tossing the culprit up the wall he paused to take a few deep breaths, ignoring as Italy got his white flag out and started waving it.

" I'm sorry Germany! I surrender! Don't take away my pasta! I'm sorry!" The Italian whimpered unhappily.

"How many times have I told you to tie your shoelaces properly? You need to take the meetings seriously as well, honestly these things are important. You're a bad influence on the others and cause chaos and you were asleep half the meeting as well!" Germany sounded pretty cross, despite his best attempts to be patient. "Honestly Italy I do so much for you the least you could do is try and help the meetings go smoothly. Just try and prepare more and stay awake, I will help you prepare but you need to start behaving properly. I'm going to have to buy a new table now and stay late to clean up." Absently, he ran a hand through this hair before stepping back, the stressed man clearly fed up.

Italy flinched under the scolding of the other, his bottom lip wobbled and his white flag drooped sadly. A few tears streamed down his face as he replied, "I'm sorry I won't ever be good enough for you." Turning, he ran before the other had a chance to catch him and disappeared down the corridors, leaving Germany alone.

Both were unaware that they were being watched...

A/N: Thanks for reading, please review as I appreciate the feedback.

I do not own Hetalia