Third chapter: ~~This is a flashback chapter~~
Major trigger warning: self-harm, abuse, suicidal actions/ suicide attempt, alcohol abuse and all that nasty stuff, I have a lot on my mind. And I'm hella pissed. Whatever lets gooooooo.
The day she died was not a good day. The news was broken to me in a harsh way, as Lauren's father basically beat the words into me. That was it, the last known relative. Dead. I'd always kept a knife under my bed, she'd always told me to be prepared after all. But I wasn't stabbing anybody else, just myself.
Over and over, line by line. More blood, more tears. I'm faintly aware that I throw up. More blood, a song with no beat, no melody. Another line, all I see is red. I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I tossed the knife back under my bed. Tears still falling, blood still dripping. I grabbed a towel from the floor and wiped my bloody arms.
I went to the bathroom, bandages. I needed bandages. We had no bandages.
I grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills.
I drifted out of the bathroom. The police had long since left taking her, her lifeless body. The kitchen the destination I wanted. Three bottles of vodka lined up uniformly on the kitchen counter.
I picked one up. Opened the lid. One sip, two, five, ten.
A bottle of sleeping pills washed down.
Three bottles of vodka all gone, if anyone asked what'd happened no one would know.
Dizzy, blood, a scream. Crash.
Someone's at my side now, a panicked voice. So familiar yet so far away.
Someone else is there now they smell sterile and clean. I felt myself lifted, up and away.
-Time skip- -one week later-
Everything hurt, but wherever I was laid was soft.
Was I dead?
That when I heard it, a soft beeping coming from beside me. That denied my previous thoughts, it was an ECG machine, I guess I was alive after all. I cracked open my eyes, vicious light assaulted my vision.
I looked around slowly, now I wondered why the Hell was one of my arms handcuffed to the bed?
"Mr Choke?" A voice said from the doorway, I looked at the doctor that had been the one to speak then back at the handcuffs.
"Ah, that'd be a safety precaution, as you did attempt suicide."
The word sounded bitter in my head. But I knew I'd done it, the knife, the pills, the alcohol. Yet I was still alive, why? Why was I still alive? I asked that question every day, with every passing hour. Why? Why was I still alive?
I was sent back to reality. Sitting on the bathroom floor, Kyle holding my hand. There were tears streaming down my face,
"Kyle." I whispered, he held my hand tighter, I pulled him into a hug.
"Kyle, please don't leave me. I don't want you to leave me." I cried into him.
"I won't, I promise. I won't leave you. Ever…"
I don't know how much I wrote but I just feel as if that ending there was a good place to stop this chapter as so much happened.