Author Note: Again, here we are back with another AoT story. You already know: if you don't like it, don't even bother reviewing, because this story was made just for fun. You can read the rest in my previous one.
WARNING: Mature Contents!
One beautiful day, Eren is called by Hanji for some... serious stuff.
Eren: What is it Hanji?
Hanji: Oh Eren. Come in, close the door!
Eren closes the door and steps forward to Hanji.
Hanji's glasses turn white.
Hanji: Eheh... I've seen you with Levi often recently.
Eren: Well yeah... I mean.. H-he does have to watch over me.
Hanji: Hmm, are you sure about that? I think you should also... leave with me and Miche to capture some... screams TITANS!
Eren: I don't really think it's a good Idea and I doubt Captain will let me go…
Hanji: Who the hell cares, ugh, you're always like his dog or something like Bertholdt, or
whatever was his name, with Reiner!
Hanji starts complaining.
Eren: Awkwardly laughs Haha... Okay... If you need me for something else other than keeping Titans as pets, I'll just be in the dining hall.
Hanji: Yeah, go-
Hanji: Come in!
Christa: I heard some hard complaining going on, I thought some water would help making stress fade away!
Smiles with glasses of water in her hands.
Hanji: Ooh! Thank you, Christa!
Eren: Yeah, thanks.
Christa hands them both water.
Christa: Aww, you don't need to thank me, silly!
Eren: Aww, Christa, you're so-
Door gets kicked open.
Ymir: WAIT WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
Eren: What do you mean? I was talking to Hanji?
Ymir: WHY IS CHRISTA HERE YOU FUCKING PERVERT?
Hanji: Eheheh... he was actually trying to touch her.
Ymir: WHHAATT! YOU DAMN FUCKING HUGE ASS PERVERT! GAYGER, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU!
Eren: NO WAIT, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!
Ymir: WE CAN TALK WHEN MY FIST HITS YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE!
Ymir starts to stomp over to Eren.
Christa: U-Um Ymir, he didn't do anything!
Ymir: YOU FUCKING BASTARD, SHE'S SO CLEARLY SCARED SHE CAN'T ADMIT YOU TRIED TO RAPE HER... WELL, NOW I'M RAPING YOU!
Punches Eren, gets on top of his chests and starts slapping and punching him.
Hanji: Woah, woah, Ymir, I think that's good.
Eren: UGGHHH! WHAT THE FUCK, YMIR!
Ymir: Not good enough, eheheh...
Drags Eren out, and heavy hits are heard.
Christa: Y-Ymir! Please stop! He really didn't do anything to me!
Christa runs out.
Hanji: Ughh, I just wanted to see some fire discussions... oh well, I'll just be chilling
Lies over her chair.
The Next Day...
And by that, Eren had a hard lesson taught... never stay close to Christa, but how long will it last?
Eren: Son of a bitch, this hurts.
Rubbing his cheek.
Discussions are heard in the hall
Armin: And that's why we should totally upgrade his nose during expeditions.
Eren: What are they talking about?
Jean: Oh well, he's scary... but I'm in late for work, gotta clean the stables again. And if you
see Eren, tell him to help me, that fucking bastard is always late Runs out.
Eren Mumbles: Jerk.
Eren walks in the room where Armin, Jean, and Erwin were talking.
Eren: Hey Armin.
Armin: Oh Eren, hey.
Erwin: You got work today, and you should go to the stables.
Eren: O-oh, okay... So what was it about "Upgrading his nose"?
Erwin: Nothing you have to worry about, go work, sho!
Armin: Well, it's a secret.
Eren sighs .
Eren: Fine, fine. I'm going to the stables to help horseface .
Starts to walk away.
Flash to Jean.
Jean: Aaand, you're clean.
Kisses the horse's cheek.
Eren pops out of the corner.
Eren: Woah, I never you were that into horses.
Jean: No, I'm not, suicidal bastard, but you see that nice angel over there?
Points to Christa.
Eren: Woah, I wouldn't touch her or even look at her if I were you, horse face
Looks around nervously.
Jean: Well, do you want my respect? But-wait wait wait... did you call me horseface? Fine.
You asked for it!
Jean: HEY CHRISTA, MY COCK WOULDN'T FIT INSIDE OF YOUR THIN ASSHOLE!
Grins, pats Eren's shoulder, and hides in the stables.
Christa: That's... so mean... Starts crying.
Eren: YOU HORSECOCK! WHAT THE FU-
Someone kicks Eren from behind and Eren goes flying forward.
Ymir: DON'T YOU SAY A THING LIKE THAT, OR I'LL CUT YOUR COCK OFF AND PUT IT IN YOUR OWN ASSHOLE!
Eren: YMIR! WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT WAS HORSEFACE DAMMIT!
Jean: What? Comes out I'd never say a thing like that... wait what? You wanted to destroy
her "little ass"? Wow, so bad, Gayger...
Walks away laughing.
Eren: JEAN! YOU DI-
Ymir kicks Eren
Ymir: FUCKIN' PERVERT.
Ymir: Ah! Loser!
Eren on the floor groaning in pain
Eren: G-God dammit Horseface.
The next day, Eren was dining with Levi, but that wasn't a nice day either…
Levi: Wow, you really look like shit.
Eren: I know... My face hurts, and Miche said it'll take hours to regenerate my broken back…
Levi: What the hell did you even do to get hurt that badly? Did you pick another fight with hor- Jean?
Eren: You know what? I don't wanna think about it, I just wanna forget.
Jean shouting in the back
Jean: Yeah! I totally kicked Gayger's ass!
Eren ignores and starts eating.
Levi: ... Alright...?
Levi: Oh also... me and Erwin have decided something.
Eren: Decided what?
Levi: Christa is gonna sit here with us, since her good behavior lately, so she deserves some good food, but I have to go to the bathroom and save Hanji from it, I'll be right back!
Calls Christa over to sit with Eren, and walks away.
Eren falls off his chair.
Eren: NO! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!
Christa: Eren, don't be stupid, let's eat.
Sits and smiles.
Eren: H-Hey Christa, not to be rude but, can you avoid looking at me or even talking to me. because of, you know who...?
Christa: Who are you talking about? Oh you mean Ymir? She's right behind you, hi!
Knuckles cracking is heard behind Eren.
Ymir: Right here!
Smashes Eren's face on his dish multiple times.
Christa: Ymir, stop!
Ymir: Haha, Sorry you had to see that Christa! Smiles I was just protecting you from a
pervert! How about we sit together somewhere else?
Christa: Yeah... That's better!
Gets carried by Ymir.
Eren's face is still resting on the empty dish.
Levi: So is sh- ...
Raises his head, covered in blood and food, both flowing out from nose and mouth
Levi: Sighs Did you find a new style of eating?
Eren: No, this is all your fault.
Levi: How is it my fault? Ah nevermind, I have no time now
Lets Eren's face fall on the dish again and walks away.
Sick of being grounded or wounded to death, Eren, the next day, asks for some protection…
Mikasa: Oh, I see.
Eren: So you get now why I really, really need your help, right?
Mikasa: Yeah, if she touches you, I'll just get her off of you.
Eren: Thanks Mikasa. You're a life saver.
Pats her on the head.
Mikasa: No worries, I'm not like the gnome who left you, let's go outside with the others.
Starts to walk outside with Mikasa.
Eren looks around.
Eren thinking: I don't see Christa or Ymir.. yet..
Mikasa: No worries, Eren, you're safe now, let's lie on the grass, I'm so tired.
Eren sits down while Mikasa lays down.
2 Minutes later.
Eren: Ahh, this is so relaxing.
Voice is heard behind them.
?: Hey Eren, Hey Mikasa!
Eren opens his eyes.
Eren: Ughh... yeah!?
Christa: Erwin sent me to find you and see where Mikasa is but it turns out she is right here.
Erwin wants to discuss what happened between her and Captain... if it is alright, can Mikasa go down now?
Eren: Christa... please stay away.
Christa: Eren, come on, don't-
Starts walking over to Eren, but she stumbles upon a little rock, falling on Eren's crotch.
Eren screams like a little girl while Mikasa starts raging.
Christa quickly gets up
Christa: I-I'm really sorry! I-I didn't mean to, there was a rock a-and I tripped!
Starts to cry.
Mikasa: HOW DARE YOU... EREN!
Starts slapping and punching Eren, while Christa runs away.
Ymir hears Christa and pops in.
Ymir: FUCKING PERVERT, YOU TRIED TO GET A BLOWJOB!? Mikasa, let's share this moment!
Eren: NOOOO! WHYYY! SHE JUST TRIPPE-
Gets slapped by both Mikasa and Ymir.
They both laugh and rage over Eren, and also kicking his low parts.
Eren intensely groans and silently lets out screams.
Christa: Well... I thought she wanted to kill me... oh well, he'll be fine!
Starts picking up flowers while Eren is screaming.
Christa starts to hum while Ymir and Mikasa are shouting at Eren
Christa: Hmm, today is a beautiful day.
The next day... again!
Erwin: Well, that is a problem, but I know how you will do.
Erwin: I was indeed wondering why you couldn't come to my office yesterday.
Erwin: Mikasa, come on, Eren didn't try anything bad, right Eren?
Eren: I-I didn't do anything.
Mikasa: Yes you did.
Erwin: Listen Mikasa, I know how Eren can do, leave us alone a moment.
Erwin: Men need men talk.
Mikasa glares at Eren and Erwin.
Stomps out and slams the door close.
Erwin: Wow, she's a living demon, isn't she?
Eren awkwardly laughs.
Eren: Haha, yeah.. other than from Ymir.
Erwin: Eren... I want to tell you a story, about like... when I was your age.
Eren: Sighs Go ahead. As long as I don't have to see Ymir, Christa, and Mikasa for a while.
Erwin: When I was a cadet, I had these teen problems too! I had many girls, they were jealous, etcetera. But I told them that they had to leave me alone, and I did it like a real man should do it! Now go outside and tell Ymir "Hey you, get out of my life and stop..."
That's how I did it, and it works.
Eren: ... Commander... you don't understand. It's not like they want me or anything, if I even look at Christa or am even near her, Ymir comes and beats me up…
Erwin: I know but.
Eren: You know, Commander, can I just stay here for today?
Erwin: I didn't mean it like that, just tell her whenever she wants to beat you up, BE THE MAN YOU ARE.
Eren sighs again.
Eren: But she just does it randomly. Like she pops out of nowhere and starts hammering me.
Erwin: Don't be afraid to tell her what you think, go find her and tell her.
Eren: I'd honestly rather not. I don't think my body can handle any more beatings. I can't even feel my fingers…
Erwin: Just go do it, sho!
Eren: No wait, please don't do this to me. Can I just stay here for today? I'll even help with paperwork if needed!
Erwin: Ahahah, no, go now and do like I said.
Indicates the door.
Eren: Please commander, just for tod-
Knocks are heard at the door.
Eren screams, lies on the ground, and covers his head.
Erwin: Come in!
Erwin: Get up, by the way, be professional.
Door slowly opens…
Christa: A-Ah um... I just wanted to see where Er- Oh! There you are, Eren!
Eren: NO NO! GO AWAY PLEASE!
Christa: B-But I just wanted to apologize for what happened the past days…
Eren hides behind Erwin.
Erwin: Oh no, no no, Eren, be a man and talk.
Erwin picks up Eren by his shirt's collar and throws him in front of Christa.
Eren: NO ERWIN PLEASE!
Christa: I-I'm sorry if this is a bad time.. I can always do it later... Looks down.
Runs out of the room into the hall.
Erwin: Wow, hey, he called me Erwin!
Erwin: That's disrespectful.
Erwin: Christa, go find him and bring him back here, he deserves a minor punishment for that!
Christa: I don't feel like doing it, I caused enough trouble to him...
Erwin: No no dearie, all you have to do is bring him here! I can give you a small reward for doing so.
Christa: I just don't want him to suffer, but I'll go call him…
Opens the door.
Christa shouts: H-Hey Eren! Commander wants you back here!
Eren: Ugh, why?
Lies in a corner in the hall.
Christa: J-just please come back with me... I don't want you getting in anymore trouble…
Eren: R-Really? So you don't hate me?
Christa: Why would I? Come on, let's go back to Commander before you get yelled at again.
Sticks her hand out in front of Eren to help him stand back up.
Grabs her hand softly.
Christa: Alright, Releases Eren's hand Let's head back!
Starts to walk to Erwin's office.
Christa: Here he is! Smiles He didn't even protest.
Erwin: Thank you Christa.
Eren: Sighs What is it, Commander?
Erwin: Eren, you should learn to respect your superiors.
Eren: Yes, Yes. I know. I was just freaking out okay?
Erwin: I know but a soldier must keep a solid mind in every moment.
Eren: I know, I know. Is there anything else you needed me for, "Commander"?
Erwin: Hmm, Nothing that I know of. You may go.
Shoos Eren away with his hand.
Eren: Sighs Fine.
Walks over to the door and opens it.
Erwin: Actually wait!
Eren stops in front of the opened door.
Someone punches Eren in the face.
Ymir: YOU. FUCKING. PERVERT! YOU TOUCHED CHRISTA'S HAND!
Erwin: Ymir, Eren has something to tell you.
Ymir stops punching and kicking Eren and looks up at Erwin.
Ymir: Laughs What does this Gestures at Eren pervert has to tell me?
Eren: Ymir... ughh Blood comes out from his mouth Stop right now! Get out of my life, just don't bother me.
Ymir: Then don't fucking touch my Christa, pervert!
Drops Eren and Eren hits his head on the floor.
Erwin: This is depressing...
Sighs, and watches Eren being violently kicked.
Eren: THIS coughs IS ALL YOUR FAULT, COMMANDER! Gets kicked again.
Erwin thinks: Is he right? Well, now I have paperwork to do.
Erwin does his paper work while Eren is screaming and Ymir is kicking and punching him.
Erwin: Mmm, this goes there... and this goes here... hmm.
Eren screaming in the background.
The next day... again and again.
Eren: THAT'S IT! I AM STAYING IN MY ROOM, ALL DAY AND I AM NOT LEAVING FOR ANYTHING!
Sits on his bed.
Eren looks at the ceiling.
Eren: This is more boring than I thought…
10 minutes later…
5 minutes later…
Eren: Man, my back really hurts…
Connie & Sasha: Hey Eren, why are you still in there?
Eren: Because I want to stay here... BRING ME BREAKFAST, I HAVE GOOD REASONS TO STAY HERE.
Connie: I don't think your breakfast will make it far before Sasha eats it... How about you just come with us? Then you can go back.
Sasha: Connieee, I won't eat it.. I promise…
Eren: NO NO NO NO, THERE IS A HORRIBLE DEMON OUT THERE.
Connie: Haha, a what?
Eren: I AM NOT EVEN GONNA SAY THE NAME, SHE'S THE CHILD OF THE GREATEST EVILS
Disturbing screams are heard.
Sasha: U-Um Eren... are you alright there..?
More screams are heard.
Connie & Sasha: ...
Sasha: Pfft, child of the greatest evils, ahah, come out!
The door slowly opens.
Connie: You look so bad.
Eren: The Demon's fault…
Ymir walks by.
Ymir: Ugh, breakfast sucks, I want to eat something decent.
Eren and Ymir make eye contact with each other and stares for a solid minute.
Sasha: Uhm... what's going on?
Eren: YMIR FUCK OFF! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
Ymir: What? Why would I want to touch you, learn to speak to girls first.
Eren steps back inside his room and slams the door close.
Eren from behind the door.
Eren: Fuck off, Ymir.
Connie: I heard about Eren, that he gets always wounded when Christa is in the nearby
Sasha: Is she the demon?
Ymir from down the hall
Ymir: Pf, ha! No.
Walks in with a few of flowers.
Connie & Sasha: Hey Christa!
Christa: I found some nice flowers out here, can you help me deciding which one adding in my room?
Sasha: Sure! Hey Eren... Knocks on his door Wanna help?
Christa: Y-You don't want to help me?
Eren: GO AWAY! GO AWAY, YOU ARE THE CHILDREN OF THE DEVIL, YOU ALL NEED TO BE PURIFIED.
Connie, Sasha, Christa: …
Connie: Hey Eren, if you don't come out we'll tell Captain that you're being an ass to everyone
Eren: I DON'T CARE, FUCK OFF, GO IN THE OTHER HALL, GO AWAY. I'LL STAY HERE FOREVER.
Connie: Oh well, I'm going to go tell Captain and he'll drag you out instead. He seems pretty pissed off today... or I can get Hanji and she'll do experiments on you. Ooh why not both?!
Ymir: What's wrong with him today? I don't even want to know.
Sasha: There goes Ymir…
Eren's door slowly opens, as she hears Ymir going away.
Eren: Is she gone?
Eren: ... You won't tell him though, right Connie?
Connie: Maybe yes, maybe not, who knows.
Eren: If you do I will kill you in your sleep.
Connie: I'm joking, man, jeez…
Christa: Eren, which flower?
Shows him a bunch of flowers.
Eren: I think that one..
Points to a blue-ish green flower.
A stinky bug comes out from the flower, and goes on Eren's nose.
Eren screams like a girl and flicks it off.
Eren: JESUS CHRIST!
While agitating, Eren accidentally made Christa's flower fall on the ground.
Christa: My flowers... they are all on the ground now…
Christa: Why... Eren, why?
Eren: I-ITS FINE! It's not like they are dirty!
Bends down and starts to pick them up.
Christa: If you didn't like it... you could just tell me
Eren: I-I do like them! A bug just flew on my nose out of the flower and scared me!
Christa: Eren... don't lie to make me happy.
Cries a small tear.
Running is heard from down the hall coming closer.
Sasha: CONNIE, RUN OUT!
Sasha breaks a window, and drags Connie out.
Eren: WAIT FOR ME!
Sasha: NO, THERE'S NO TIME.
Eren going to jump out the window with them but gets pulled back.
Eren: NO PLEASE NO, COME BACK, NOOOO, NOOOO NOOOOO!
Ymir: HOW. FUCKING. DARE YOU MAKE MY LITTLE CHRISTA CRY YOU ASSHOLE!
Eren: I GIVE UP, KILL ME.
Eren: PLEASE, END MY LIFE NOW, DESTROY MY BRAIN.
Ymir cracks her knuckles
The next day…
Christa: I picked the red flower at the end, Ymir helped me while she was "playing with Eren"
Armin: What do you mean she was "Playing with Eren"?
Christa: Nothing, just pretending to fight. It was surprisingly real though!
Armin: Haha, it was probably real though, he did fight a lot when we were younger.
Christa: Oh, the little bullies? But they were pretending, I don't think boys would hurt girls.
Armin: Hey, where is Eren anyways?
Christa: I don't know, somewhere maybe.
Armin: Maybe he is in his room, I haven't seen him all day.
Armin: Since I am free, I wouldn't mind talking with him for a bit.
Christa: He won't come out.
Armin: Eh? Of his room? Why not?
Christa: I don't even know if he's there. And I Don't know why, he seems to be scared by me, and that makes me uncomfortable…
Armin: Haha, I doubt he is scared or hates you. There must be something bothering him. I'll go talk to him about it!
Smiles at Christa.
Christa: Thanks... tell me how it goes though, I have to go now!
Kisses Armin on his cheek, and slowly walks away.
Armin: Y-Yeah! I-I will!
Waves goodbye at Christa and starts to walk to Eren's room.
Eren isn't in his room, but surprisingly lied next to his door, outside, clutching his arms and legs.
Armin: H-Hey Eren...
Armin slowly walks up to him.
Eren doesn't answer, but he moans.
Armin: Hey, are you okay?
Armin sits down next to Eren.
Eren keeps moaning.
Armin: ... Eren, really, why are you like this? Can you at least tell me?
Armin: I don't want to see you like this…
Eren: She's everywhere. She is in my head. She's in my life.
Armin: ... Who is...?
Eren glares, and rests his head on his legs, moaning louder.
Armin: ... Eren cmon, please tell me. You know I hate seeing you like this.
Eren looks up.
Christa: Can we have a bit of chat?
Eren: I don't really want to be near you right now or Ymir will beat me up again.
Puts his head back in between his legs.
Eren: I also did lose all of my hopes.
Eren: And the feeling of my body.
Armin: ... Wow…
Christa: I see... I'll go talk to her.
Christa walks away.
Armin: What is it?
Eren: Oh you know, for the past days just getting beat up nonstop. I just hope it's over soon. ;-;
Armin: It'll be fine, you've always been very strong.
Flash to Christa, who is outside.
Christa: Ooo, where is Ymir when I need her…
Shouts her name.
Ymir: Hey my little angel!
Ymir hugs Christa from behind.
Christa: Listen, dear... this is serious actually.
Ymir: Mmm, I'll listen to my sweet little angel.
Christa: Well, uh... why do you always beat Eren up?
Christa: He didn't do anything to you.
Ymir: Tch. Because that pervert is always looking at you or touching you. He doesn't have the right to touch my angel.
Christa: No! That's not true, he doesn't even like me like that he is only being nice! Please just stop attempting to kill him.
Ymir: B-But... I don't want him taking my sweet angel away from me.
Christa hugs Ymir tightly.
Christa: No one will, silly. You're mine and I am yours, only yours.
Ymir: Sighs Fine, I won't hit him. I only will if he makes any moves on you.
Christa: He doesn't, he doesn't do anything to me.
Christa: I'll go inside to calm him down, and do not follow me, alright?
Ymir: ... B-But.. what if he takes this chance to do something to my angel?!
Christa: He. Won't.
Ymir: Fine! Looks the other way, and crosses her arms.
Christa giggles and hugs Ymir again.
Christa: Thanks Ymir.
Ymir: No problem Smiles, and giggles too.
Christa: Okay, let's head back inside. It's getting late.
Ymir: Yay! Let's go eat something.
Christa and Ymir head back to the hall.
The next day, everything seems to be finally solved.
A knocking sound is heard on the door.
Armin: Eren, are you up?
Eren: Just a little second!
Eren: This time no one had to wake me up!
Armin: Wow, that's new.
Armin: Hurry up though, everyone is already eating breakfast!
Eren: Yes, just putting on my shirt!
Eren comes quickly out of the door.
Armin: Alright, let's go!
Flash to breakfast.
Eren: I don't see Ymir anywhere…
Jean: Hey there! Christa told me before she won't touch you... tch…
Eren: Shut it horse face.
Jean: It was funny... it used to be.
Looks the other way.
Eren: Ugh, so where do you want to sit, Armin?
Christa walks in.
Christa: Hi everyone!
Everyone: Good morning.
Eren: ... Hey…
Christa walks over to Eren.
Eren: Please don't get too close to me...
Looks around to see if Ymir is watching.
Christa: I told you yesterday, it's all fixed!
Eren: Huh? What is? Did you convince Ymir to stop!?
Christa: Eren, do you have amnesia or something? I told you while coming back
Eren: ... Eren hugs christa tightly Thank you so much.
Christa: Pfft, don't thank me, it's okay.
Hugs back tightly too.
Eren: Ahah... my right hand hurts too…
Christa: This one?
Clutches his hand a bit, which gets weak and goes down to her right buttcheek.
Eren: ... U-Um, sorry!
Quickly takes his hand back.
Christa: It's okay, that was an accid-
Ymir: I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU, YOU FUCKING PERVERT.
Eren: Huh? Wha-
Ymir drop kicks Eren.
Eren: FUUUAAAKKK! Spits blood out while flying.
Ymir: YOU LIL' FUCKIN PERVERT! I'LL KILL YOU FOR TOUCHING MY LITTLE ANGEL!
Body slams him.
Eren spits more blood and faints.
Jean: THAT'S AMAZING.
Ymir: Thank you, thank you very much!
Hugs Christa while squeezing her buttcheeks.
Christa: You won't change, will ya? Laughs.
Ymir: Nah, it's only just to keep my little angel safe.
Kisses Christa's forehead.
Everyone claps and shouts happily at them.
Eren groaning on the floor.
Ymir: No, go back to sleep!
Kicks him again.
Everyone laughs and claps at Ymir.
Jean: And this is why... this is Eren's Everyday Life.