Shinobi Hiden

Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games

The Ingenious Uzumaki

Uzumaki Naruto.

Number One Hyperactive, Unpredictable, Knuckleheaded Ninja.

Dread of ANBU.

Prankster Supreme.

All the above descriptions can successfully describe this boy. But one thing they barely touch on, is his ingenuity. Indeed, most of his more creative plans would have been impossible but for the incredibly high ingenuity he possesses.



Hatake Kakashi was having a bad day.

First, taking another team of Genin-hopefuls, inexpirienced, ignorant, and whatnot (The fact that they had passed the Bell Test and thus were Genin now being completely not worth mentioning). A fangirl, who screeched as loud as a banshee, a self-proclaimed Uchiha 'Avenger' (Hah! As if!), and finally, his own Sensei's son, bearing clone-like resemblance to his Sensei Minato and teammate Obito in looks and personality. The very act of looking at him was fraught with pain, bringing back painful, repressed memories that made him want to burst out crying.

And as if that was not enough, it seemed that the fangirl, by all rights the weakest member of the group was also the one who took training the least seriously.

"Now, my cute little Genin, as you have proven yourselves worthy of the momentous tasks of accompanying me to missions and training, we shall see what you are made of." He said, hanging upside down from a tree, reading his precious. After all, showing off and annoying the fools at the same time was a brilliant motivator.

"Huh? What do you mean, Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura asked, immediately taking on the role of the obidient little schoolgirl (No Kakashi, no, no thinking about Icha-Icha when training).

After a questioning 'Hn' from Sasuke and a 'We'll deal with it, Dattebayo!' from Ob-Naruto, he started explaining.

"What I mean, my cute little Genin, is that you will be showing me the most advanced use of the Kawarimi no Jutsu that you can do." He drawled.

The Uchiha responded with a 'Hn' again (Really, his vocabulary was a miracle of nature), and Naruto shouted "Yeah!".

He waited until they took position in the middle of the clearing that was Training Ground 3. Hmm, where to start, where to start... Oh damn it, why was he taking the trouble?

"Sakura, please introduce us to the Kawarimi." He said. After all, why do it when you can have someone else do it?

"Hai, Sensei." She replied. "The Kawarimi no Jutsu is a Supplementary E-Rank Ninjutsu derived from the Shunshin no Jutsu. Its handseals are Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, Snake. It is used to substitute the user and another object, usually a log, and is mainly used to get away from attacks which cannot be dodged in time." She rattled off without taking a breath.

"Succinct. Now that we know what we are doing, why don't you show us first?" He said.

Sakura prepared herself, then performed the handseals. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, and a log was there. Then, she walked in from another direction, for some reason (Hn) her eyes shaped like hearts. Kakashi was not disappointed (much), because this was what he had expected.

He tried to take the most believable disappointed-teacher tone he could muster, and declared, "Sakura, I am disappointed! This is what you learned in the academy! If you want to grow stronger, then you will have to do better." The Killing intent that had leaked into the surroundings during the end was completely unintentional, promise!

As she tried to articulate a coherent response, he pointed to The Last Uchiha. "Now, your turn, broody." Ignoring the 'Hn', he added, "But, what about this? Naruto," he paused to let the blond finish his loud answer, "you will throw one shuriken at Sasuke. Sasuke will not be allowed to move or block. He will use the Kawarimi." Sakura's protests were like music to his ears. Ignored completely, that is.

Naruto, who was excited to do something he often (day)dreamed about, was almost jumping with supressed energy. As soon as he signalled his readiness with another 'Hn', Naruto threw a shuriken with such speed it made a loud 'swish' sound.

Sasuke performed three handseals (It seemed that he had figured out the reduced seal version), then disappeared in a puff of smoke just as the projectile passed through. Naruto muttered (at volume others used to speak normally) a 'Damn'.

"Acceptable." He said. No sense in increasing the volume of his already overinflated head, after all.

Then, finally, Naruto, and Kakashi dared to hope. He cringed as the Genin performed all five handseals at sedate speed, two blue semicirles showing just how much he was overcharging the technique. Then Hatake Kakashi, who was once upon a time only mildly surprised when his teacher's girlfriend punched him so hard he went through a cliffside and landed on the opposite side of Konoha, got his mind blown.

As soon as Naruto completed the Snake Seal, several things happened in quick succession. There was a puff of smoke away from Naruto, a crack, and a ball of smoke no larger than a football.

The other two Genin had confused looks on their faces. Sakura had her mouth open like a fish, while Sasuke kept blinking in regular intervals.

What had just happened?

"Naruto, what exactly did you do?" Kakashi asked, as gently as one might a newborn child.

Naruto, being excited as he had finally done something unique, enthusiastically began explaining."Well, Sakura-chan told me about these tiny little invisible things floating around in the air, called molecules, which are forming all kinds of patterns. So I thought that if I can substitute with a big log, then I can substitute myself with a mole-cool, because I am so big for it. But when I did, for a moment it was almost like someone was pressing me very hard."

Kakashi understood what Naruto was saying, and that made him all the more incredulous. Substituting with a molecule, really? But that fit in with circumstances, and even most Nara would have trouble with coming up with a reasonable explanation on the fly like that.

Naruto substituted with a molecule. The vacuum that was caused by replacing Naruto's body with a single molecule sucked in the smoke with supersonic speeds, producing a crack. Meanwhile, Naruto pushing away the air pressure on what was previously a single molecule was what had caused the pressing sensation he described.

Sakura was sputtering, and Sasuke looked ready to pass out.

And Hatake Kakashi was having a really bad day.



"Okay, Naruto, now that the egghead-" Genma was interrupted by Iwashi's indignant 'I'm not an egghead!', but continued. "- is sufficiently satisfied with you knowing enough about every damn aspect of the Hiraishin-" "It's Hiraijin!" "- "- that you can write a damned book, we are going to be doing the practicals."

All the while, Raido stood quietly.

Iwashi went into lecture mode again, and said, "Now Naruto, create three Kage Bunshin, and then do exactly what-"

This time, the interruption was by Raido. "Come on, Iwashi, cut the kid some slack. He's been memorising things like mad for a month. Let him do it alone."

Naruto did what they wanted, and three clones burst into existence. They linked hands, and vanished in a flash of yellow.

Unfortunately for the Hokage Guards, Naruto's clones appeared not at the seal they'd placed on the ground, but instead on the top of Raido's head. As Raido collapsed from the sheer weight that was three Narutos, the other two looked on dumbfounded.

"Naruto, what exactly did you do?" Had they taken lessons from Kakashi or something, one part of Naruto thought, while the other worried about the fallen man. So of course, Naruto replied like he had to Kakashi, months ago.

"Well, Sakura-chan told me about these tiny little invisible things floating around in the air, called molecules, which are forming all kinds of patterns. So I thought that if they form all patterns, then they must form the seal pattern too, so I thought- I mean, it was meant to be a surprise, they were supposed to land with Raido in between, but I'm sorry-"

Genma interrupted Naruto, chuckling. "Well, it seems like you did the impossible once again, little guy. Kakashi hadn't exaggerated, I see. And anyway, Raido needed to be taken down a few. Or a few dozen." He chuckled again.

Meanwhile, Iwashi groaned. What was with this kid and air molecules? The Hokage was going to have a fit.