Mid 297AC, Winterfell
Jon Snow was at an age when nightly indulgence in self-satisfaction was the norm and not the exception. He also was at that stage of development where he more often than not fantasised about older women and not his peers. Their fuller figures were much more interesting! Once even – to his horror – about Lady Catelyn! It was Sick! and Filthy! But she was sooooo beautiful! Jon gasped as the alternatively gentle caress and rough pounding of his member pushed him over the edge and made him lose capacity for coherent thought. Hence the young half-Stark was completely defenceless when temptation reared its lovely head.
This temptation had arrived in the form of Jon Arryn and his family. The Lady Lysa had demanded that Jon Arryn FINALLY take a vacation as over a dozen years had passed since she had last seen her sister. That Jon ignored – he was more concerned with Robert starting a war or two during his potential absence then some sisterly sentiments of his wife. The needs of the Realm always came before those of his wife. However Lysa swayed him with arguments that Robert – their son – could well use the sea air during their voyage between Kings Landing and White Harbour. It was Robert's health – particularly the argument that the hot springs like those at Winterfell were said to be highly beneficial for those with his condition – that had finally swayed the Hand of the King. So a visit to Winterfell it was.
Jon Arryn had disgusted Lysa from the day they had met. When he bedded her she turned her head and thought about what she would wear the next day. Or what the Cook was to prepare. Or the beauty of the Riverlands. Catelyen's husband, that Eddard Stark, also was nothing special in the looks department, and dull to boot. Not as witty as Jaime Lannister, for instance. However, Stark was less than ten years her senior, a male in his prime and not an old man with bad breath and half his teeth. And he obviously made her sister happy. Or so Lysa – slightly inebriated - thought as she made her way to her chambers from the feast. Her chambers were her own, she would not suffer the old fart her father and the Seven had shackled her to more than she had to. She wondered what sort of life – yet evidently happy – her sister was leading with the long faced sourpuss.
Lysa walked into the said long faced sourpuss which yelped – "So sorry, my lady!" – as he grabbed her to keep her from falling to the floor. He held her in his strong arms and babbled about how sorry he was for being so clumsy and tripping her. Lysa collected her slightly wine addled thoughts and examined the person holding her. It was not her good-brother Ned but his younger brother. Almost a twin. Benny, his name was. Was he not supposed to be at the Wall or something? No mater ...
She dragged the boy to her chambers to get a sample of Stark male flesh her sister was getting. The boy stuttered something or other about "honour" and "no bastard" but she hushed him by pushing her tongue down his throat.
"No bastard" – she slurred – "my husband's trueborn" – and giggled.
Jon Snow slinked away a few hours later. His member was sore and chaffed raw. His thoughts were mostly suicidal – "I'll off myself before Father or Jon Arryn get to me. Or Robb. Or anybody else ..." – with lashings of "I'm too much filth to live" with light sprinkling of delightful – "it felt wonderful! And it was so good to see her pant and jolt and buck uncontrollably. Go me!". But it was the "I'm not fit to live" variety which predominated. Lysa had no thoughts at that point – she was snoring like a bear.
Next day Lysa was surprised to discoverer that her good-brother's younger brother was NOT at Winterfell but – indeed – at the Wall. But that her good-brother's bastard – who looked like Ned's younger version and had a suspiciously guilty air about him and refused to meet her eyes - WAS. After putting two and two together - she was a smart girl, after all! - she laughed herself silly that day. And all over the next week whenever she saw that bastard or her sister. The deliciously twisted irony of the situation! Everybody was happy about Lysa's evident upbeat mood - her general unhappiness with life in Kings Landing was well known.
Some months later, still in 297AC
It was on the ship back to Kings Landing that Lysa noticed that she had missed her moonblood. Twice. After a panic attack – lasting two days – she decided to brazen it out.
"My Lord, do you remember how you came to my chamber after that feast?"
Jon did not remember THAT feast. Or coming to her chambers. But his memory was not what it used to be. There had been several feasts and he had not been very sober at the end of several of these. But to humour his wife he answered vaguely:
"Yes, you did, my lord."
Lysa looked at him from under her eyelashes and forced a slight blush to her cheeks.
"You were like a wild animal in mating frenzy. You made me hoarse from screaming your name as you repeatedly made me see the stars!" – she looked at Jon with adoration in her eyes.
"Oh. I was?" – Jon asked with a whiff of incredulity in his voice. But it was so good to hear that he came to believe in his virility before he took his next breath.
While still giving her stupid husband a look of adoration Lysa thought smugly on how wrong Cersei had been. Neither tears nor a hot cunt were a woman's greatest weapons. It was her mouth and tongue. It was telling men what they wanted to hear. Tell them about their wonderful swordplay and they would lap it all up, no matter how far fetched it may had been, she thought sagely.
Nevertheless Lysa spent the rest of her pregnancy – her easiest and healthiest yet – torn between hysterical laughter, gloomy brooding and fervent praying at the Sept. She begged the Seven for the child not to have the "Stark look" – going by her sister's children she had a four to one chance for that!
"Merciful Mother! Just Father! Wise Crone! Have mercy on this IDIOT! Please! If not me – show mercy to the babe! PLEASE!"
Early 298AC, Kings Landing
Looking at the just-bathed babe Lysa thought with horror– "never ask the Seven for boons as you never know how they will grant it" – the babe certainly did not favour its sire. But the self-reminder of how she had begged the Seven not to give the babe the Stark look gave her an idea ... it MUST be a miracle, surely?
Jon examined the healthy nine-pounder – the Maester had informed him of the babe's weight with an approving look, visibly impressed by Jon's manliness – with disbelief. The boy looking NOTHING like him was not so strange – Robert did not either, and most of Ned's children looked like Tully's – but the babe did not look much like Lysa either. All right – the face could be Lysa's, but the rest ...
His mind immediately went to a dark place – had there been any Velaryons' in their party to Winterfell? None that he could think of. But his memory ...
"Jon, it is a sign" – he heard his wife address him. She looked tired but happy.
"It is a sign from the Seven – our son's destiny is to serve the Dragons. Let us call him Duncan, after Duncan the Tall."
After composing his thoughts Jon nodded – Duncan it will be. But he felt that he will have to discuss the "serving the Dragons" part with his wife later.
Now, how to get Lysa, Robert - his son- and the silver-blond and purple eyed Duncan out of Kings Landing before Robert – the King – did something ... stupid. He ground his few remaining teeth (was Stannis rubbing off on him?)– he will not let harm to come to his family! And Lysa had been begging him to leave Kings Landing for years.
"Duncan" – he verbalised his agreement to his wife's suggestion – "We are going home, Lysa. I will resign and leave Robert to clean up his mess on his own ... now I have TWO sons to bring up at the Eyrie" – he beamed at Lysa with love and gratitude.
She beamed back.
1 - in case somebody missed this - House Velaryon has the Valyrian silver hair and violet eyes;
2 - King Robert does not like babies with Valyrian silver hair and violet eyes;
3 - Jon Snow knows nothing about being underage daddy;
4 - in this AU Ned Stark receives a raven with "SOB Jon resigned, coming 2 Winterfell, love u bro, Bob" message;
5 - Sweetrobin finally gets weaned.
6 - I belong in the "Lysa's miscarriages are Jon "The Seed Is Weak" Arryn's fault" camp, hence a problem free pregnancy and big, fat and healthy baby are perceived as miraculous in itself.