I'm about half way done with season 4 at this point and I just love Briller in season 3. They didn't get much screen time, but they were so cute together when they were on screen. The whole growing corn, raising chickens, and growing old together line was so cute it made me want to throw up. I wonder what happened to Bryan's parents because I don't think they said. I don't own The 100 or the characters.

We were sitting outside of Farm station, waiting for orders to go inside. The bastards of the Ice Nation had moved in and it made my stomach twist into a thousands little knots. I hate that they've taken over my home. It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

"If it's the same guys that attacked us, then with our guns we can take them." I looked at those heartless Ice Nation grounders as I said it and after a moment of no response, I looked over at Bellamy. He was slowly shaking his head.

Bellamy looks over at me, "I'm sure we could, but we didn't come here to fight." I looked at him with an incredulous look on my face. "They butchered us. Killed kids. Our friends. Our families." I say the least part looking over at Monty and he looks back at me.

"I don't like it anymore than you do, but Bellamy's right. We need that machine." Monty says back. Looking like he really doesn't like it.

I shake my head and look back at the piece of spacecraft. I want to charge in there guns blazing, but I know I can't. Who am I fooling wearing this outfit? I'm no guard, I'm a farm boy playing dress up, but I will fight if I need to. I'll be as good as I need to be to protect and save the people I care for. The next thing I know, however is that there is a grounder pointing an arrow at the back of Harper's head and we're all on our feet.

We're ordered to put our guns down. I hesitate, not trusting the group of Ice Nation grounders to not attack me, but Bellamy orders me again and I do as he says and put my gun down. Bellamy goes up to one and shows her the crescent that King Roan gave him that should protect us. It doesn't as Bellamy is backhanded across the face.

The next thing I know, we've all got our wrists tied together and we're being lead through farm station to what I assume is the leader of this group. Bellamy talks with him, telling him that the King sent us and that we're here to get a part of the ship. At first I think the man isn't going to let us through and that we're all dead, should've listened to me, Bellamy, (insert eye roll), but then, we're not. The leader tells another grounder to cut our ties and then they lead us to the room with the hydro-generator.

As I walk into the room, I see a row of people with chains on their wrists. A couple look up but I don't pay attention to who they are and the man who brought us to the room orders them to look away and get back to work. One man, however, in the middle of the room catches my eye. He looks up and sees me looking at him. I take a tentative towards him.


He recognizes me, but he doesn't say anything as I get closer and stop a foot from him. "Dad. I-I thought you were dead." I feel relieved knowing that he is alive, but ashamed knowing that he is locked up here and I didn't try to find him. He stares at me for a moment and the Ice Nation guy starts to come over but one look from my dad stops him in his tracks.

"I see you're alive and well. Joined the guard then." He says as he looks me up and down. I bring my hand up to the back of my neck and scratch it, blushing slightly, "Uh. Yeah. I didn't really have a choice. They needed-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"Maybe they'll toughen you up in a way that the fields couldn't. Make you something other than a weak gay boy." He turned away as he said this and continued talking, not noticing that I had staggered back a step. "I mean, really Bryan. This is the ground, not the Ark, and you need to be prepared. Not this-this," he paused and gestured to all of me, "freak of nature. Maybe down here you'll get stronger, survive, and find a nice girl to settle down with."

I expected to be hurt by what my father had said, but instead I was angry. I was beyond angry and I didn't care about what the consequences might be with my next words. Looking back though, I probably should have known that my father would act exactly as he did. He always did look down on me for being gay. Thought I was weak.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" My father looked up at me sharply and I don't blame him. I almost never cuss, especially not at him. "We're at the end of the world, dad, literally, and all you can do is berate me for what? For being gay? And no matter how many people they needed, I wouldn't be a damn guard if I wasn't at least a little bit good." I took a step up to him and looked down at him as a I was slightly taller than her was. "In case you hadn't noticed. I'm not the one with chains around my wrists."

I don't regret saying that because it's true. If I was so weak that I couldn't survive on the ground, that I couldn't survive the grounders then why is he the one with chains on his wrists and not me? The next thing that happened, however, happened in slow motion and shocked me and everyone else in the room. My dad pulled his chained hands back and backhanded me so hard across the side of my face that I stumbled to the left and felt blood dribble down my chin and saw some spray on the floor. My father opened his mouth to say something, but the Ice Nation leader stepped.

"That is enough. You," He pointed at me, "Get what you need and leave."

I stood up and walked back over to my boyfriend, not looking back at my dad. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away. We walked up the stairs to the hydro-generator, Nate's hand on my back the entire time. At one point he softly asked me, "Are you okay?" I just nodded a yes. I wiped my lip and we got to work on the hydro-generator.

As we were working on getting the generator free, Harper spoke up, "These are people from Farm Station. They're trapped here. We can't leave them."

"I vote we leave 'em here to rot," Nate muttered, looking the direction of my dad. I rolled his eyes at Miller and smiled softly. With a straight face I said, "Harper's right, we can't just leave them here."

Nate looked at me with a shocked face, "Bry, really?" I sighed and put my hand with the wrench in it down, "Yes, Nate. He may be an ass, but he's still my dad and we can't leave all these other people here." I could tell Nate didn't agree with me, but before he could say anything Monty jumped in.

"We have to get this hydro-generator back to Arkadia." Monty looked over at Harper, who was shaking her head. "No, you guys didn't leave us in Mount Weather so we can't leave them here."

"I'm with Harper," I said looking at Nate. He looked back at me, "I'm with Monty; take the generator and go. We can find another way to save them." At that moment a girl walked by with a water jug and dropped a not next to Bellamy's foot. It read: Moving us tomorrow. HELP. We all looked at Bellamy. "They're moving them," he said.

"It's two to two, Bellamy. Its your call," Harper shrugged.

A few minutes later we had a plan. We got the hydro-generator out and as we walked it down the stairs I didn't take one look at my father. I may want to save him, but that doesn't mean I have to like him. I don't care if he hates me, at least he'll be alive to do it. I just wish he didn't. He may disapprove of me being who I am, but he's never gone that far before, and I'm completely shocked that he did.

We bring the generator outside of the little room. Blow it up and the Ice Nation leader is tackled. I yell at Nate and Bellamy to get off of him as he's not their kill. "That's Monty kill," I say, looking straight at Monty.

"What do you mean?" He asks back.

"That's the man that killed your father." He gets this really hurt and shocked look on his face before her reaches for an ax on the wall. "You don't have to do this," Bellamy pleads. Monty keeps walking, "Yes, I do." He keeps walking and cuts at the chains holding part of Farm station in place, they pull their chains out and some go for the Ice Nation man, but some don't and follow Bellamy out the spacecraft. I walk out before my father can see me or get close to me and head back for the truck. Nate follows behind me, but he doesn't say anything. I sit in the front on the way back and Nate sits in the back with the rest of Farm station.

When we get back to Arkadia, I jump out of the truck and start making my way back to my room with Nate. I just want to take these clothes off and wash off the day. "Hey Bry!" I hear from behind me, I turn around and it's Nate. "Are we okay?"

"Just, tell me you think saving these people was worth it." I say, almost pleading with him.

He looks down and then looks back up, "I wish I could."

I look down and the ground and start to back away from him. He grabs my vest to stop me, but I jerk away from him. "I can't. I can't. I'm sorry." I say, and start to walk away. "Bryan!," I stop and look back once, but then turn and keep walking.

I get back to the room I share with Nate and start to strip for a shower. Once in the shower, I can't keep my thoughts from racing. How, even in the brink of the apocalypse, does my dad still hate me? Okay, maybe he doesn't hate me, but he definitely doesn't like me. Also, I know Nate doesn't like him, but he really have left all those people there over a stupid grudge? Or even for the generator? I know we needed it, but those people needed saving. Are they not worth it?

No, they are worth it. Ice Nation is ruthless and they don't deserve to live what could be their last few months like that. I think to myself. I finish washing, trying not to waste water and get out of the shower. I stand in front of the mirror and examine my busted lip. Ugh. It's all fat, but it'll heal. I still can't shake the thought of Nate wanting to leave those people behind. I leave the bathroom and get dressed and lay on the bed. Nate doesn't come back for a few hours, probably to give me some space.

While he's gone my thoughts continue to whirl. Why am I so upset about this? Asking myself that question is when the answer hits me like a bag of bricks to the face. Would Nate have left me there if it had been me and not my dad chained up by Ice Nation? I thought I knew the answer, but now I'm not so sure. The thought of him actually leaving me there make me want to hide in cave until the apocalypse hits. I roll over and look at Nate's empty side of the bed, the side closest to the wall. The door slides open then. I try to slow my breathing and pretend to be asleep. Nate knows me too well and calls out, "I know you're not sleeping."

I roll my eyes and roll over, sitting up against the wall. I don't say anything, just look at him take off his jacket. I look down at my hands in my lap when he looks over at me. It sucks feeling like I don't even know my own boyfriend anymore. Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but then, maybe I'm not. Nate comes over and sits on the edge of the bed next to my knees and looks at me. He goes to reach for my hand, but then pulls back at the last second, deciding against it.

"Bry, what's going on? Can we please talk?" He says it softly and I feel so torn by his damn voice because I don't know what to believe anymore and its literally killing me inside. He's the one person besides my mother who accepts me for everything that I am and I can't lose him to. As I think this, tears start to pool in my eyes and I try my damn hardest to keep them there. Nate notices and pulls me into a hug by mu shoulders.

"Bry, please don't cry. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me." He sounds slightly broken and I hate that I'm hurting him like this. I squeeze him once around the middle and then pull back and look at him. There's a tear track on each side of my face.

"Would you have left me there? In the Ice Nation? If it had been me there instead of my dad?" My voice wobbles slightly as I ask, but no tears fall, thankfully. I don't like crying in front of Nate. He says it makes him sad. I wipe my cheeks with the inside of my wrists and wait for his answer.

He sighs and brings a hand up to cup the back of my neck, massaging it slightly. His other hand goes and wipes down his own face. "Honestly, Bry? I wanted to leave your dad there, even if it meant leaving the others. Not because I don't care about them, but because I care about you more. We needed that generator. Not just for the people who were already here to survive, but for us to survive too." He brings both his hands up to my face and cups my cheeks, looking into my eyes.

"I love you so much, Bry. I would not have left you there if it had been you. Even if it meant blowing up the generator myself and hell if I'd take a vote about it. I meant what I said in Polis. When the fighting is done we're gonna build a house on a lake, you're gonna plant corn,"

"And raise chickens," I smile despite myself and look up at him through my lashes.

He smiles back, "Exactly. And we'll grow old."

I sniff and pull back from his hands to take them in my own. "I'm sorry I doubted you." I look up at him, expecting him to be angry or disappointed, but he's not. He's actually smiling and squeezes my hands in his. "Don't be sorry. I would have doubted me too with the way I acted," he shrugs, "But can you really blame me for wanting to live happily ever after with my boyfriend?" He smiles a half smile and I smile a wide grin back. Reaching out to pull him in a hug I whisper in his ear "I want that too, Nate. So much."

"I'll crawl my way through hell and back to give it to you," He whispers back.

I close my eyes and bury my head in his shoulder with a smile on my face. We sit like that for a few minutes before he gets up to take a shower. He gives me a soft peck on the cheek before heading to the bathroom. I sigh and lay back in bed, waiting for him to come back. I can't believe I actually thought he would leave me there. I can't believe I doubted him.

Five minutes later, he comes back into the room in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. He turns the light off and lays next to me, pulling me close. I lay my head on his chest and drape the other arm across his stomach. "For the record, I would have left your dad there if I could have. He's an ass and he better hope I don't see him around camp." I chuckle and roll my eyes in the dark. In the end, it doesn't matter what my dad thinks. Not anymore. I have other people to care about me, like Nate and I am so grateful for him and for them.

I sigh and say sleepily, "I love you, Nate." I feel him playing with the hair at the nape of my neck as I drift off to sleep, but before I drift completely I hear him whisper back.

"I love you too, Bry."