Title: Pocket Legends
Summary: May didn't set out to catch legendary Pokemon... at first. But after a while, it seemed like fate. (ORAS-based, humor)
Notes: Just something stupid. Mostly based on ORAS, but with some elements from Emerald and some headcanons.
May didn't set out to catch legendary Pokemon. And, really, did Latias even count? The Eon Pokemon had practically caught herself, without even a battle. And it was all basically Steven's fault anyway, since he was the one the Eon twins had been looking for in the first place.
Sadly, she couldn't blame Steven for Kyogre. That was all on her.
To begin with, she was the one who took the Red Orb and ran off into the Cave of Origin.
It was, in retrospect, a patently stupid move. Her father had been entirely right to look like he wanted a stiff drink when he heard about it afterwards.
But as May stood there, in the middle of Sootopolis, torrential rain pounding down and almost drowning out the argument between Steven, Wallace and Archie, she couldn't help but feel responsible. She was the one who had failed to stop Team Aqua at Mt. Pyre, at Slateport, at Lilycove... but more importantly, she had completely failed to tell anyone about what was happening until it was too late.
The police were always pretty slow to respond and not really equipped to handle battles on the level of the Aqua admins, but she could have gone to Rustboro and asked President Stone to contact Steven. She could have even gone to her father. If there had been someone helping her storm the hideout at Lilycove or even at Mt. Pyre, they might have made it in time to stop Team Aqua's plans.
But instead May had treated it all like a big adventure and chased Team Aqua on her own. And look where that landed them — the entire region about to end up underwater.
"I'm the Champion, it's my responsibility!" Steven was saying again, barely audible over the rain.
Wallace waved it aside sharply. "Even so, it's a bad matchup for you. What if it dives? Would you even be able to fight it underwater? I should go. Protecting the ancient traditions is the responsibility of the people of Sootopolis."
"If it's anyone's responsibility, it's mine!" Archie shot back. "I'm the one who made this mess, I'm gonna be the one to fix it!"
"Given your track record, you would only worsen the situation," Maxie sneered. But at least he didn't put himself up too.
The argument had been going around in circles for a while now. In the end, the Red Orb would only protect one person and their team, so only one of them could go. None were willing to concede and wait helplessly outside.
Well, May could understand that. It didn't feel right to wait and do nothing. That's not what May was like — and that was why she had been the one to get the Red Orb in the first place. If anyone should go... Gripping it a little harder in her hand, she looked down into the orb's depths.
And came to a stupid, impulsive decision.
One sneaking step back, another — just like sneaking up on a patch of shaking grass. Through the pouring rain, the men still arguing in front of her didn't even notice. A few more steps, and she could barely make out their silhouettes. They didn't seem to have noticed either...
So May booked it. Spinning around, she dashed headlong toward the entrance to the Cave of Origins
She thought she heard someone calling her name, but it didn't matter. The doors were right ahead. May didn't slow to push the doors open — launching into the air, she crashed into them with double flying kick, throwing them open with a bang.
Stumbling a little on the landing, she felt her breath catch for a moment before it suddenly cleared away. It must have been the intense natural energy they'd been talking about — and the Red Orb protecting her from it, May realized, already running again.
It was a straight path ahead toward a roughly hewn stairway down. Putting on an extra burst of speed, May hurried onward.
"—May! May, wait!" Steven shouted, chasing after her.
She either ignored him or didn't hear. Unfortunately, she'd gotten too much of a head start — he couldn't catch her before she got to the cave entrance, and inside...
Steven hadn't expected the effect to be that immediate. The air inside the cave was visibly shimmering with natural energy, thick enough that he could feel it against his skin and when he breathed in. And breathing was suddenly becoming very difficult, the air too heavy. His head swam, and he stumbled.
Someone grabbed his arm and dragged him back, just back past the doors to the Cave of Origin, into the rain but also clear air.
"Do you really have rocks for brains?" Wallace scolded, dropping to one knee next to Steven and breathing hard. "Weren't you listening? You can't go in without the Red Orb to protect you!"
Still trying to catch his breath, Steven shook his head.
"I know," Wallace agreed, his tone softening. "But there's nothing we can do now."
Archie and Maxie had approached, joining them as they looked past the doors into the cave, into the shimmering veils of energy that faded into darkness. "All we can do is leave it up to that scamp..." Archie said quietly.
They were silent for a moment.
Wrinkling his nose irritably, Maxie blinked like a Hoothoot in daytime and finally pulled off his waterlogged glasses. The square of cloth he pulled out of his pocket was equally soaked, but he went through the motions of wiping the lenses anyway. "According to my calculations, Kyogre has not regained its true power," he said blandly. "Not even a fraction, really. Even that child should be fine." He paused and added, "Unless the standards of the gyms in Hoenn have dropped significantly."
Understandably, he received three dark looks — not that he could see them.
May suddenly felt like she wanted to punch a nerd.
Maybe that swayed her judgement. Because that was when she did the next stupid thing.
She had been feeling increasingly aware of her own recklessness, between the increasingly frequent tremors, the rain that began to fall despite the lack of sky, the unsettling noise from her PokeNav that gave way to nothing but static... and the shining burst of power that changed Kyogre into Primal Kyogre, as if its initial forme was not intimidating enough.
But somehow... Primal Kyogre was not quite as overwhelming as May had expected. It was powerful, far more powerful than any single Pokemon she had ever faced. But not "created the seas" powerful.
It had clearly not been able to entirely shake off her Castform's Thunders, retaliating violently and furiously until it managed to slip past Latias's screening guard to knock out the tiny Weather Pokemon. And her Mega Blaziken's Stone Edge had thrown it clear out of the water — just as May had intended, of course, but still.
"Latias! Distract it and Mist Ball again!" May ordered. "Chic, finish this with High Jump Kick!"
So what if she was using two Pokemon against one? This was the fate of the region at stake.
Screeching, Kyogre reacted to the first threat. The shining water beams of its signature move shot toward Latias, making her swerve and roll to avoid getting hit as she fired off her attack. They also intercepted the Mist Ball, setting off a small blast of air and water.
But that just meant Mega Blaziken's approach was hidden until she suddenly burst through the haze, burning leg extended. The force of the High Jump Kick tore through Kyogre's weakened Aqua Ring and plowed into its pale underbelly, crashing Kyogre into the rock.
Soaked and tired but still ready to fight, Chic jumped back quickly and raised one leg in preparation to attack again. But, peeling slowly out of the crater it had been driven into and flopping onto the cavern floor, Kyogre only made a weak screech of protest and halfheartedly waved its tail.
It's in the red, May's trainer instincts said.
And that's where it went wrong again. Because she was supposed to— well, actually, May wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with Kyogre. She hadn't really thought past "battle it." Were they going to knock it out and pray it was in a better, non-cataclysmic mood when it woke up? Tow it to the Seafloor Cavern before it revived and wall it back in?
Kyogre make another, slightly firmer noise, dragging the beginnings of a new Aqua Ring around itself with a wave of its tail.
It was trying to heal itself, just when she'd gotten it weak enough! (For what...?)
May reacted without thinking. At all.
"Ah," she let out intelligently, watching the Poke Ball she had just thrown hit Kyogre right on the nose with perfect accuracy. "Aaaaah! Why did I do that?!"
Given the looks Latias and Mega Blaziken shot her over their shoulders, they were wondering the exact same thing. Neither felt anything approaching enthusiasm about being on a team with an ill-tempered incarnation of perpetual rainstorms.
The Poke Ball rocked once, twice, three times, and clicked.
May shot it a dirty look, but she had no one to blame but herself.
"I can't believe this," May muttered under her breath as she strode up to the doors of the Sootopolis City gym. "I saved your entire stupid town from flooding — the entire region! You could just give me the stupid badge. If I can take on a super ancient Pokemon, obviously I can take a gym leader, right...?"
The nerve of that under-dressed smirking loser Wallace. True, he'd been ready and willing to go fight Kyogre himself, so maybe he didn't think of it as much of a benchmark, but just doing the deed had to count for something, right? Like a medal — or a badge.
But no, off to the gym she went. A water type gym, no less. She'd handled the water-iest water type of all! It was on her belt at that very moment! This was just...
Suddenly, May had an idea. A terrible, stupid idea.
She still had that Thunder TM, after all.
A raindrop landed on Wallace's nose, then another — then an entire downpour. He sighed, flicking his soaked fringe out of his face and squinted up at the clouds that had formed just below the ceiling of his gym.
Such was the downside of running a water type gym. Well, it wasn't like a Rain Dance or two would...
Wait. 'None of my girls can make a Rain Dance this strong or widespread,' Wallace thought. It had to be the challenger, then. The challenger... 'She wouldn't.'
Except that she very much had.
"Either you Body Slam that Luvdisc, or I'll body slam you!" May raged, at the lowest level of the gym. Digging in her heels, she pulled with all her might, and next to her, her Blaziken did the same — both of them holding tightly to half of Kyogre's tail fins.
Kyogre make a low sound of disinterest and, gathering water around itself, sent a wave crashing over May and Chic. Sputtering, the two let go of their hold, and Kyogre took the chance to plunge as deep as the gym's pool would allow... which was unfortunately not very deep. The modern age definitely did not agree with it. Was a nice long nap — maybe a century or two — too much to ask for?
"Get back up here!" May yelled, shaking her waterlogged hair out of her face.
Kyogre pretended not to notice.
The poor terrified Luvdisc tried to use Rain Dance — or perhaps, more accurately, tried to appease the displeased Pokemon god it found itself faced with. But there was no relief from the heavy rain.
Groaning, Wallace palmed his face. He should have just given her the badge, he realized.