#10 Regirock, #11 Regice, and #12 Regigigas

Good news: Her PokeNav's Match Call was working just fine. Self-proclaimed Ruin Maniac Rusty had just called her to excitedly tell her about the opening that had opened up in some desert ruins on Route 111.

"You didn't go in, did you?" she wondered.

"Of course I did, lass!" Rusty chuckled. "What kind of ruin maniac would I be, if I left a ruin unexplored? But there's a big old powerful beastie in there that drove me right out! Looked like a moving hunk of rocks. But you're the expert on that, aren't you? So if you go, I'm sure you'll show it the old what for!"

Bad news: There were definitely three of them.

"Oh, I'll show it, alright," May muttered darkly. "Right into a Poke Ball, I'll show it."

And she did.


Its other friend, too.

The last golem was actually the most annoying, mostly because the island cave it had been sealed in was freezing because of its powers. Patches of frost had formed along the walls, and May was shivering miserably by the time her team had finally worn Regice down enough for her to nail it with a Poke Ball.

Teeth chattering, she glared at the ball as it rocked once, twice, thrice — daring it to burst open.

It clicked, and May let out of a deep sigh of relief. "Thank g-goodness," she muttered, then paused... and sneezed. "Now to get out of this miserable hole..."

Picking up Regice's Poke Ball and recalling her own Pokemon, May turned and headed toward the exit. Bright sunlight was streaming through the opening ahead, making her squint. Ah, to be out in the warm, warm sun again—

The light was suddenly blacked out, as something blocked the opening.

Left suddenly in almost complete darkness, May blinked like a Golbat at noon. A cloud? Too dark. A rockslide? But there hadn't been any noise or shaking. She squinted at the dark, shadowed shape and took a slow, dubious step forward, like she was sneaking up on some shaking grass.

She wasn't sneaky enough. The thing in front of the opening jerked into motion, just enough light slipping past to outline the massive arm it raised and slammed into the top of the hole, breaking off chunks of the rock — making it large enough for this thing to duck inside. Rows of small lights flashed across its front.


It let off an unearthly screech as it took a step toward her, making May jump with a startled shriek.

"Hiyaaa—! Get away—!"

She reached for a Poke Ball. She meant to send out one of her Pokemon, but in her panic, she reached into the wrong pocket, the one with her spare balls. She threw the first one she got her hands on.

In retrospect, its weird texture probably should have given her pause, but...


The ball hit the weird thing square in the center. It vanished in red light, sucked inside. Cursing, May reached into the right pocket this time and scrambled back into the cave to give her Pokemon room to appear.

"Go! Lati— ah?"

There was a very familiar click.

It was only then that May noticed... the ball on the ground in front of her was purple.

So, turned out there were actually four golems, and she accidentally wasted the Master Ball on the last one.


The PC beeped, finalizing the registration of the Poke Ball in its scanner. May frowned, peering at the information displayed.

"Steven..." she said slowly, "this is another Beldum."

"Yes," he agreed. Thinking for a long moment, he seemed to come to a realization — the wrong one. "Ah, I see. It would be more appropriate to trade you something closer in power to Heatran, wouldn't it?"

"That's not it, I don't need any more powerful Pokemon," May sighed. "But this is the third Beldum I've gotten from you. You know that the stuff about Metagross being four Beldums fused together is just nonsense, right?"

In other words, what did he think she was going to do with three Beldum? Of course, to Steven, this was basically a rhetorical question because why wouldn't you want three (or three dozen) Beldum?

Steven laughed. "Of course! None of my Metagross did anything of the sort. In any case, I hope you will be satisfied with this trade." She would be satisfied with basically anything, since she just wanted to get rid of the extra Heatran. "You see, this Beldum is special."

"Aren't they all special?" May muttered.

This was a mistake because Steven didn't understand sarcasm, or at least consistently pretended not to. "That right! I knew you'd understand! All Beldum are special," he agreed, nodding along with a satisfied smile. "Each has its own shine and luster, its unique angles, a different frequency of its magnetic signature... Beldum are the best!"

"They sure are," May agreed blandly.

Catching himself, Steven cleared his throat. "But this Beldum is special in a more obvious way. You see, Argent has a variant coloring. That silver sheen is very outstanding, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah, okay, sure," May cut him off.

She'd been thinking of trying to pawn the golems off on him too, but she really had no idea what she'd do with a whole seven Beldum, being a normal human being and not a rock-loving nerd.

"So, what happened with Latios?" she asked instead. "Did you catch him?"

Judging by the blank look Steven gave her, no. "We have quite a spirited battle," he said. "His Steel Wing was absolutely magnificent. I hope Latios enjoyed it as well! And... I let him keep the Soul Dew, since he had come so far for it."

Latios did not learn Steel Wing naturally, May was absolutely sure. But it was possible for him or Latias to learn it through TM or tutoring... or if they really, really wanted to show off, she supposed. It was, notably, Steven's favorite move, and Latias had started outright giggling when May told her about all this Kanto, Soul Dew business.

Her twin, May suspected, was a dumb tsundere, who was probably sulking somewhere because Steven, being a normal person in some truly annoying ways, hadn't thought to just throw a Poke Ball at it. Just one would have been enough.

"But don't worry, I have something else for you," Steven went on. "Here, it's called a Clear Bell. Legend says that it can summon a legendary bird if you ring it with a pure heart."

That sounded dumb, but... 'I'm never ringing it,' May promised herself. Just in case.

(...She rang it later.)


End notes: This isn't very funny anymore, so I'm gonna cut it here. Every other legendary you can catch in ORAS comes from Hoopa rings, so they don't really count, sorta.

Well, Heatran also comes from a ring, but the Scorched Slab was present in the original RSE and is a short but actual dungeon, complete with Flannery cameo, so it feels more like a real encounter.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you had a little fun at least!