354Harry stomped down the empty corridors, at this point not caring if anyone heard him. The invisibility cloak billowed around him, probably showing off his ankles if anyone happened to pass by. He didn't care. The corridors were barren anyway.
The first rays of morning were trickling into the shadowed halls. Harry lifted his hand to rub at his tired eyes, pushing his glasses out of the way. It had been a long night. He sat in the common room covered in his invisibility cloak waiting for Poppy to come back again. Only she didn't. It was the very first night of the Easter holidays and his mum and dad told him they were going away for a couple days. They said he needed to be careful because they thought Death Eaters were planning something. So, he decided to keep an extra eye on Poppy.
'Bloody hell Poppy! Where are you?!' He swore inside his head, eyes watering with a slight burn. His first thoughts when he heard his mum and dad were leaving was that he needed to keep an even closer eye on his errant sister. Harry felt sick to his stomach with worry since she didn't come back that night. The boy-who-lived had been lounging around the common room every night since before the new year - or sitting on the stairs which led up to his dorm - to make sure Poppy got to bed safely. Even if she didn't care for any of them, he wanted to make sure she was ok. Poppy stumbled inside the portrait hole at all hours. Sometimes she simply pulled a book out to read quietly on the couch instead of going to bed. But she never didn't come back at all. Why didn't she last night?
It was around four in the morning when Harry truly started to worry. Maybe Poppy was staying out tonight? But where? She never stayed out all night. She always came back. His anxiety was making him feel like he could throw up. Poppy was not as reckless as him, true, but she was so careless with her own health and safety it made him cringe. Poppy accused him of being reckless and making people worry about his safety? Just what in the hell did she think she was doing?! Harry desperately tried to cling to his anger but all he felt deep down was shame. Shame and disgust at himself.
He was scum. Complete and utter scum for shouting at her. For calling her suicidal. It wasn't even strictly true, but… but he worried she was. Harry honest to god had some deep fear that one day he would find Poppy dead. Hung herself or laying in a pool of her own blood. And she didn't even come back that night… No, she said she wouldn't hurt herself. She wouldn't.
The boy-who-lived was an idiot. He really was. He shouldn't still care about Poppy at all. But he bloody well did. Poppy proved that she didn't care for him, for their family at all. He could see through her, even at the burrow. She was uncomfortable, tense and not pleased at having a family. Why? Just because her last attempt was awful doesn't mean her real family was. She should know that. He gave her time but after she decided to leave them all to die? No. He couldn't take it. It shouldn't be like this. It wasn't fair.
Harry continued to stalk down the corridors, still looking for his missing twin, knowing there was little use. If Poppy didn't want to be found she wouldn't be, but he was still doing his best to find her. He couldn't do nothing. His mind unwillingly flashed to his lesson with Remus a few months before.
"Why are we doing this if it's a lesson usually taught to third years?" Harry asked curiously, as Remus dragged out a large trunk with something rattling loudly inside seemingly trying to escape.
Professor Lupin huffed and dumped it down, straightening up with a sigh and stretching his back. It cracked and he winced. Remus looked tired today but insisted on continuing their lessons.
"While that's true, learning how to defend yourself against a boggart is important. Lots of powerful defensive spells are linked with our emotions – like casting a patronus. You can't let fear overcome you in a duel or it's over" Remus explained patiently, fixing his lose robes and rubbing his face tiredly.
Harry frowned but nodded.
Remus sent him a knowing smile, "It's really harder than it looks, the reason they teach third years is that it's less… difficult" He explained. Harry didn't ask but did send him a questioning look, so Professor Lupin continued,
"By that age students are in control of their emotions enough to successfully cast the spell but are usually not mature enough that their worst fears are too horrific, really" Remus' mouth twisted almost bitterly as he didn't quite agree with what he said. Harry nodded. He had seen enough to scare him for a lifetime by third year.
Remus snapped himself out of his thoughts and sent a comforting smile his way, "Anyway, you remember the incantation?" He prompted.
"Ridikilus" Harry repeated, taking his wand out in preparation.
Remus nodded and moved his wand up as if about to open the trunk. Harry steeled himself, part of him nervous inside wondering what exactly could be his worst fear. Remus sent him a last questioning look to make sure he was ready.
Harry nodded to Professor Lupin.
The trunk flew open, but nothing came out at first. Harry's entire body was tense, and he was mentally preparing himself to imagine something amusing come from his worst fear. If it was Voldemort he would make him look like a clown, he thought to himself. If it was the basilisk he could turn it into a balloon. His green eyes bored into the open trunk, waiting to strike.
A black mist floated from the chest and he narrowed his eyes.
"Remember Harry, don't let your fear take you over. Find the humour" Remus reminded him quietly.
He nodded sharply as the mist began to take shape.
It all happened so quickly, he was completely stunned.
The strange mass of blackness turned into a person…. Not just any person. Poppy. She hung a few feet off of the ground, a noose around her neck and green eyes whitened out, unfocused and dead.
The silence in the room was deafening.
Harry dropped his wand.
Poppy's throat around the rope was purple and her head tilted at an awkward angle, lips opened so slightly. His heart pounded in his chest. No… Poppy wouldn't… she wouldn't… The limp body of Poppy filled his entire vision and he couldn't look away.
Hands touched his shoulder gently as Lupin pulled him to the side and stood in front of him. Harry didn't even register what Lupin's boggart turned into as he kept his head down and eyes screwed shut and tried to forget just what he'd seen.
Since then, the image of Poppy just hanging there… so lifeless and empty, haunted his sleep. It made him angry. It made him afraid. Fear gripped him about how right his boggart might be. It was his own fears and worry's that had him shouting at Poppy, begging she would completely deny it. Not that he should care, he shouldn't! Harry needed to bloody well move on like Poppy has.
But even now, he just felt like a horrible person for saying such vicious things. But what if he's not wrong? Remus didn't say anything to him after the incident. But he didn't try to reassure him it was just a boggart either. Maybe that was more telling than remaining silent.
Harry didn't know what to think. He was really worried about Poppy. Perhaps he was beyond worry and into the realm where deep down in his stomach it felt like he'd swallowed a bludger. It thrashed around him furiously whenever he thought about her.
She might not care about him, but he cared for her. Malfoy was right, he was an idiot. Idiot Potter. But she was his sister, his best friend. How could he not worry?
The-boy-who-lived ruffled his hair and decided to try the dungeons once again that night. Who knows what the greasy git might have done to Poppy? Oh he'd heard all about Poppy destroying the potions classroom. He'd been absolutely livid. The fuck did Snape do to Poppy! He had his first proper shouting match with Ginny as Hermione held him back from giving the bat a piece of his mind - and wand but he would have probably gotten expelled. It would have been worth it.
Harry just knew Snape did something awful to her. Harry watched Snape like a hawk during NEWT potions, for the first time that year, happy he had that class with Poppy. The git sneered and glared at her but Harry directed his attention away. The evil git was lucky Poppy didn't seem to be afraid of him. He wouldn't have kept his wand to himself then.
He was very lucky he has his cloak; positive Snape was up to something with Poppy and able to sneak about at night to make sure he stayed away from Poppy. Ginny sighed at how tired he looked at breakfast the next day but he knew he was doing the right thing. Harry would find out what happened. He even asked mum and dad what they knew, they were surprised he was asking about Poppy but they assured him everything was fine. Mum even promised Snape wouldn't upset Poppy again and if he did then she would "deal with it". He was worried about mum until he caught the fierce determination on her face and dads supportive nod. He wouldn't let anything happen to his mum or Poppy. This calmed him a little but suspicion was still niggling at him. Dad said Dumbledore wasn't doing anything because Poppy wouldn't tell her side of the story but that she wasn't hurt at all. Barely even shaken.
Harry knew better so used his cloak to make sure Snape kept his distance. And that Poppy made it back to the tower every night safely.
Except from tonight. The first night of the bloody holidays and he hadn't been able to keep her safe. He was a failure.
With new determination, Harry doubled back round to Gryffindor tower hoping that maybe she'd returned. He would send Hedwig to wake Hermione to check. Hopefully, she'd returned when he was gone.
Remus sat up on the hospital bed, knowing he should be feeling absolutely knackered but was far too jittery to be tired. The Order hovered around his bed talking in angry tones, accusations thrown wild, tears being shed, and everyone looking exhausted from the sleepless night. He should be half dead from exhaustion but wasn't. No, too much was on his mind.
"Someone must be working inside the castle" Sirius growled angrily, folding his arms across his chest. Remus blinked his heavy eyes up at his best mate. Padfoot's knuckles were bloody from where he tried to beat down the defence classroom door in his haste to get him. 'Reckless like always pads', he thought with both fondness and exasperation.
Mad-eye banged his staff on the ground in agreement, "Only one talking a lick of sense" He snarled then starting muttering under his breath, shifting awkwardly and eyes roaming the room furiously.
McGonagall stood straight and unyielding, "Yes we know there must have been someone within the castle to remove Remus' potion and confound him enough to stay within the classroom, however, we cannot be accusing students left and right, not without evidence" The transfigurations professor's lips were thin and usually perfectly tied back hair was a little messy. Evidence of her stress the night before.
Dumbledore sighed in agreement while the arguments started up again. Remus' head started to pound. It had been a long night. Flashes would return to him, only making his migraine worse. The Order had been shouting from the moment they caught him lying in a heap on the classroom floor.
The defence Professor was staring wide-eyed at the window, marvelling in Poppy's escape when they crashed into the room. Merlin… a spirit wolf. It was amazing. Sirius and James were at his side before he could blink, shouting in relief and Lily came down to hug him tearfully. The rest of the Order checked the classroom for… casualties. Thank Merlin there was none. It was all thanks to Poppy. He owed her everything.
As it turned out, there had been a plot by Death Eaters to unleash a werewolf in the castle. They all knew there was a plot brewing from Snape but had no idea it would be so close to home. They were fools. The plan all along was to use him as the weapon. Remus shuddered violently and tried not to dry heave at the thought. He felt ashamed and violated. He knew he shouldn't have taken this job. It was far too dangerous.
Apparently, the night before there had been an incident which made everyone madly dash to Diagon ally. A vicious attack rocked the ally, many shops had been destroyed and lives were lost. Voldemort was there too. Unfortunately, it was all just a distraction. James – hair more wild than usual – quietly told him about how as the sun rose the Death Eaters began disapperating with cackles. Voldemort smiled widely, casually telling Dumbledore that he should be more concerned about the monster inside his own castle.
Remus shuddered violently again, imagining just what could have happened. Kingsley look tired but not defeated as he discussed how he'd heard rumours Voldemort was trying to discredit Dumbledore in the ministry. How the ministry cooperating with the Order was making things much more difficult for the Dark Lord to gain a foothold and this must have been the plan to do so. But this wasn't news. The plot certainly would have worked. Students slaughtered by a man Dumbledore employed. Headmaster out playing vigilante when he should have been protecting the children.
No one would hear of his resignation, to Remus' frustration. They barely let him speak instead praised how grateful they were that he managed to secure himself in time. About how they never doubted him, not for a second.
They should have.
If it wasn't for Poppy, he'd have… slaughtered hundreds of innocent children. He closed his eyes as his thoughts drifted and the Order continued to squabble.
Merlin, Poppy. It was amazing; she was truly a blessing. He could not describe the gratitude and amazement which filled him at the thought of the wild little Gryffindor. Fearless, intelligent and eyes which shone with deep sadness, he was in awe of her. He would owe her a debt for as long as he lived.
When the Potters found out they were going to be a family, Harry was expected but Poppy wasn't. It wasn't until late pregnancy that they knew anything about little Poppy. The healer told the Potters the other babe was unlikely to survive. It was weak, the heartbeat wasn't very strong, and it was much too small to be properly developed. But the Potters never wavered in their faith. They knew she would be okay.
One of the last letters he'd gotten from the Potters before their murder was an adoring letter, detailing and announcing the birth of their children. Poppy was a miracle baby. Defied all odds, surviving when others would have perished and turned out to be a healthy, beautiful little girl. A darling little baby James claimed was the most beautiful witch to have ever lived.
At the time, Remus smiled wryly at his friend's tender praise of their miracle daughter when he read the letter. Yet now he was more inclined to believe them. She saved him; Saved him from himself; Saved the entire castle.
He still felt a churning of anxiety and shame within his gut, however. Poppy knew he was a werewolf. She had… seen him. Seen him at his worse. Seen him transform into a monster. And yet he vaguely recalled a small fluffy white wolf leaping at him, sending out little warning growls and herding him away from the door.
What she must think of him. He was surprised Poppy didn't look at him in disgust and terror. Instead… she tried to heal him.
Remus' eyes watered and he looked down, trying not to draw attention to himself. She was every bit her parent's daughter. James' courage with Lily's unending kindness. He should stop being surprised by her.
But he felt conflicted. What was he supposed to do? How could he not tell James and Lily their daughter was a spirit wolf? A bloody mythical creature. As an animagus form it was utterly unreal. One in a million, that was Poppy. But he already knew that. The defence professor could not understand his students' reluctance to tell her parents. She should be proud of her incredible abilities. A spirit wolf was a beautiful, fierce and incredibly magical being. Very little texts were available on the lore of spirit animals and he wished he was better read.
Regardless, Remus felt something of a kinship with the girl. All year he sat by and watched as the light dimmed from her bright shinning eyes to something which spoke of apathy and self-hatred. Something he was intimately familiar with. Remus found it hard to swallow. How on earth could such a stunningly beautiful, charming and brilliant young woman feel so negative about herself? Remus could see it. In the way she carried herself, the way she described her abilities, how hard she worked and the twist of her mouth as she spoke of herself.
It made him reflect uncomfortably on himself.
A hand was placed on his shoulder gently and Remus startled in the bed. Lily was looking down at him in concern, bright green eyes searching his.
Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Now, Remus, is there anything else you can tell us? Someone you might have seen leaving your classroom? Perhaps a scent?" He questioned; the headmaster was closely scrutinising his face.
Remus flushed, as he did anytime his additional abilities were mentioned. His mind flashed back to his favourite student and he swallowed heavily. He couldn't. If for no other reason than he owed her. Owed her his life.
The Defence Professor shook his head, "No Albus, I've told you everything I'm afraid" He croaked out, eyes down.
Remus could feel Dumbledore's eyes on him but refused to look up. The Headmaster hummed for a moment before turning away.
Poppy walked slowly towards the transfiguration classroom, lost in thought. The sun was slowly dropping behind the large windows as she tried not to yawn.
The animagus had stopped going to her 'defence' lessons since that eventful full moon. Although in reality, it had become more a thrice-weekly tea chat where their broad topic of conversation usually included defensive texts. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Remus' questions. The hardened teenager wasn't afraid but rather apprehensive of the consequences of their conversation. Would the man tell her parents? What would be their reaction?
The werewolf had been silent, as far as she knew, and she was determined to keep it that way. She didn't want anyone to know how different she was. Witches and Wizards became animals as animagi forms. Not magical creatures. Her magical abilities extended beyond the norm and this made her different. Her senses were heightened. She could tap into her power to heal. Poppy truly had no idea how her parents might react. She couldn't risk it. They had already abandoned her once.
Exams were coming up and her entire year was awash with panic and dread. She was irritated that McGonagall slapped her with a detention so close to exam period. It simply wasn't fair. How was she being inappropriate when some fourth year Ravenclaws thought it would be funny to conjure wind to push her skirt up? Pervy little gits. Apparently spelling their trousers down so everyone could get a look at them in their skivvies too was inappropriate. They deserved it.
She tried not to sigh, Poppy could be catching up on sleep or studying at this point. Not wasting her time writing lines and grading papers or whatever her Head of House deemed an acceptable punishment.
The animagus walked up to the classroom door and knocked on it politely. She didn't bother waiting for a response instead let herself in, only to freeze at the scent and sight that hit her.
Remus Lupin was leaning casually against McGonagall's desk a small comforting smile on his face. Bastard.
Poppy sighed heavily, shutting the door behind her firmly and setting up some strong silencing wards. Remus couldn't just leave it alone now, could he? It was her own fault she hadn't expected this. It was bound to happen.
Her defence professor watched her closely but patiently, expression carefully controlled. She approached him slowly with pursed lips, unsurprised at the turn of events but still wishing she didn't need to go through this farce.
Remus shifted as she stopped a few feet in front of him, eyes roaming her face and settling squarely on her eyes. There was determination on his face.
"I asked McGonagall if I could oversee your detention tonight" He explained unnecessarily.
Poppy nodded but did not speak.
Her defence professor looked uncomfortable, uncertain and exposed. It was as if now that she knew he was a werewolf he was expecting disgust or scorn on her face. Well werewolves were dangerous creatures. They were scorned in the Wizarding world. However, Poppy wasn't as ignorant as that. Her papa taught her every witch or wizard was important had their uses, even if he believed some were undoubtedly superior to others. Although Poppy was appropriately wary of Remus and his extra abilities as well as his terrifying transformations, she herself didn't have any problems with the werewolf, she quite enjoyed their chats.
Remus studied her for several moments before straightening himself, "Perhaps you'd like a cuppa?" He asked awkwardly, gesturing towards McGonagall's office where a tea set was probably waiting.
Poppy shook her head, "No thanks, I'd rather just get this over with" She sighed again and rubbed her face. The teenage girl should be studying for her upcoming exams, not engaging in intrusive conversations with her professor.
Remus nodded his head in understanding, gesturing for her to sit down at one of the desks. She complied and walked slowly to the first desk facing him before sitting down reluctantly. Poppy watched as the werewolf conjured himself a chair and sat across from her, folding his hands on the table.
They sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke quietly, "I didn't tell anyone" He assured her, hands in front of him twisting together.
Poppy nodded, already knowing but it was nice to hear it confirmed, "Thank you" She responded gratefully with a head tilt.
Remus turned to look at her through critical eyes, "You've stopped coming to our lessons" He noted calmly, not in an accusatory tone but merely as an observation.
She didn't bother replying.
Remus' eyes finally left her face, instead, he looked towards the floor thoughtfully, "I suppose first and foremost I need to thank you" He spoke quietly but strongly and with unwavering conviction.
Poppy peered at him from the corner of her eye. He continued talking, "Thank you for… saving the castle… I know-I know it mustn't have been easy… you were very brave. I'll forever be in your debt"
Her mouth twisted dryly, "Not enough in my debt that you will keep my secret though?" She replied bitterly.
Remus shifted, "I don't think it's in your best interests to keep this a secret Poppy" He responded gently.
The animagus scoffed at the werewolf, meeting his blue-green gaze once again, "Oh? Are you seriously trying to give me the, 'I know what's best for you spiel?' I'm not Harry" Her eye twitched and she struggled to remain calm. How dare this man be so presumptuous, he didn't know anything about her,
Remus was watching her every micro expression avidly, however, and didn't miss a thing, "I don't mean to be patronising Poppy" he said after a moment.
She pursed her lips, "And yet you are" she bit back.
Remus ruffled his hair with his hand with an exasperated sigh, "I'm sorry this wasn't how it was supposed to go" he smiled a little awkwardly, attempting to ease the heavy tension.
Poppy lent forward on the table and licked her lips, eyes boring into his face, "and how did you imagine this going Remus? I would be the insecure and uncertain student and you the kindly and encouraging professor? That you would spend this time reassuring me that everything will be ok, nobody will treat me different, this is nothing to be ashamed of, blah blah blah" Poppy could tell by the shifting embarrassment of the man that perhaps he did. Silly man.
The animagus then sighed and leaned back, "then perhaps, you were hoping we could go tell my parents, together, because it would be easier?" she finished. Gryffindors, they were just so bloody predictable.
Remus was silent after her little spiel. It was very telling. That was what indeed he was hoping for.
Eventually, he smiled up at her fondly but his eyes were sad, "it was my own folly that I keep underestimating you, Poppy, if nothing else you certainly are unpredictable" his mouth twisted.
Poppy smiled bleakly at the assessment, "Remus, I understand the awkward position this puts you in but what I said still stands. If you tell anyone of my secret, I will tell yours" She reminded calmly. This was the only way to ensure the werewolf kept silent, even if she wasn't particularly enthused about blackmailing the man like this. It wasn't entirely unreasonable, why should she keep his secret if he won't keep hers?
Her defence professor shifted in his chair, facial expression flickering with something uncomfortable and ashamed as his lycanthropy was brought up, "Poppy, I could lose my job if anyone found out" he said quietly.
The sixth-year girl felt a little bad at the almost beaten way Remus held himself, like a cowering dog, "I am aware" she acknowledged. It was silent for a beat or two until she continued with a heavy sigh of defeat. Bastard, making her feel guilty by looking sorry for himself.
"Alright, fine! I will not tell anyone, under any circumstances if that's what you're worried about Remus, I swear it. My threat was maybe a bit cruel but honestly you have absolutely no right to tell anyone of my secret. I understand your loyalty towards your friends but if you really wanted to help you would respect my wishes"
Remus watched her during her speech and a quiet determination filled his gaze, "Poppy, your mum and dad love you. All they want to do is get to know you better and be a part of your life. They would be… so proud of you if they knew this" he said, sadness ringing towards the end, "what you have achieved is remarkable to say the least, I don't understand why your so adamant to keep it to yourself" He sighed as if in frustration. He looked so certain, so unwavering in his belief that James and Lily would still want her. It must be nice.
Poppy was silent for several moments, warring with herself. Should she just tell Remus so he understood? Should she just tell him that this meant she wasn't even human? Did that make her Lily and James daughter? She didn't want them to find out frankly. And really, she could go to Azkaban for being an unregistered animagus and an underage one. She could be taken into the department of mysteries for the strangeness of her form. It was common sense for less people to know.
"Remus… what I am… even I don't fully understand it yet" she explained, eyes cast down and her voice sounding strained to her own ears. He watched her with compassion, "I am still trying to figure out what I am and how I feel about this and I want to do it on my own. I'm confused and right now I like keeping things simple with my parents, they have enough to worry about, let me… let me figure out what I am on my own" she finished quietly staring intently at the ground,
Four heartbeats passed before she felt Remus stand up and walk around the desk. He then gently pulled her into an embrace, "You are Poppy. Their daughter. They will love you no matter what". He spoke so firmly and confidently as if nothing could shake their unbelievable love of her.
.. if only that were true.
Remus pulled back from her and she immediately missed the solid, firm warmth and certainty of his presence. The sixth-year was embarrassed by her emotional display and straightened her spine and reaffirmed her mask. Her defence professor watched her silently before she turned to stare him directly in the eye. He gave her a bleak smile though his eyes were kind,
"Perhaps you would like to talk about how you became… the way you are? Over a cup of tea?" He offered gently, watching her patiently but not expectantly. Her shoulders drooped.
"That sounds good" She smiled genuinely, and he returned it with a small one of his own before holding his hand out with a gesture to say, 'after you'.
Instead of bringing her towards McGonagall's office, he motioned for her to leave the classroom. Poppy brushed past Remus to leave the room and allowed her defence professor to lead her through the hallways in the direction of his office. The halls were mostly empty, students either enjoying the rare warm day or crammed inside the library for the upcoming exams. Only a few younger years passed the pair, greeting Professor Lupin politely and surprisingly sending a friendly wave to her. She didn't know all of the students names but recognised their faces from her tutoring sessions.
The progress towards the classroom felt slow and heavy with tension. What on earth was she going to tell him? How was he going to react? So many unknown variables made her uneasy.
When they arrived at the classroom door, Lupin waved his wand to silently unlock his office door and she followed behind him warily, eyes peering around his comforting and cluttered office. Her defence professor immediately set about fixing a cup of tea and she watched him, amusement and fondness welling up inside of her. The most civilised werewolf in all of Britain, she thought.
Poppy took her usual place across from the man while he poured the tea, her steaming cup of black tea already seated in front of her with a muggle biscuit she had quite taken fancy to in the past months. It was nice he remembered.
She lifted her tea and observed her parents best friend over the rim of her cup. He was relaxed and waiting patiently for her to be ready to speak.
"So, you're a werewolf" She commented lightly, if he was going to be asking such personal questions then why shouldn't she? In many ways, she was relieved to finally discuss the hippogriff in the room with him. Perhaps she could get some honest answers.
Remus tensed and lifted his cup, fiddling with the handle before taking a quick sip and clearing his throat. He then put the cup down slowly and watched her from the corner of his eyes, "Ah yes… I am" He admitted reluctantly, green eyes shifting down.
He then looked up at her curiously, shame clearing from his face, "Which reminds me, how did you figure it out? Was it one of your extra abilities as a spirit wolf?" He asked, his own discomfort taking a back seat as wonder and interest lit in his eyes.
Poppy considered his question for a moment before replying, "Yes and no" she began, pondering how to explain this. Her professor waited patiently,
"When we first met I knew there was something different about you" she explained, Remus watched her avidly with genuine interest and no detectable disgust, "Your scent was different, stronger, more… permeating than others so I suspected there was something different about you" She explained.
Remus looked riveted and only a tad uncomfortable, "I see when you say different…" He trailed off, taking his tea from the table to take a quick sip again.
Poppy furrowed her brows and struggled to verbalise very instinctive parts of herself, "Well your scent changed, grew stronger as the full moon approached. There was something powerful and heady in your scent which consumed everything in your presence. It was so distinct and… wild almost, it's raw and primal with underlying darkness" She mused, her eyes falling closed during her explanation and she liberally took deep breathes with her eyes shut to help describe the way she identified his scent.
When Poppy opened her eyes Remus was looking directly at her, his expression crestfallen and face drained of blood. He swallowed heavily before his eyes dropped in shame. Tension crept back into the room again.
The animagus frowned, "I'm sorry, have I offended you?" Poppy's mind raced and she felt distinctly uncomfortable, she wasn't exactly accustomed to discussing her extra abilities and she assumed Remus wouldn't be put off by it due to his own. Was she wrong?
Remus Lupin lifted his head and smiled self-deprecatingly at her with sad eyes, "No, not offended. Spirit animals – and especially wolves – are known for their innate lightness, judgement and detection of dark magic. I suppose it is difficult to hear how noticeable it is that I am tainted with dark magic" He explained, mouth twisting and trying to morph his features into something more casual but self-hatred bleed from every pore in his being.
Poppy frowned, chewing on the inside of her cheek and spoke each word carefully "Well, it is a little more complicated than that. Your scent is dark in a manner, yes, but it's not unnatural dark magic, you know?" She said very slowly and carefully.
Remus' self-deprecating thoughts seemed to take a back seat for a moment as he paused and then looked up at her in academic interest, "There are different types of dark magic?" He quirked his head.
Poppy's eyebrows shot up, of course there was, did this man know nothing about dark magic? Wasn't he supposed to be teaching students to protect themselves against it? He was clearly testing her knowledge again.
"Of course there are" She replied, a little irritated wondering why now he was throwing in a test of her ability in defensive magic, "But obviously not the Emeric classification of dark summoning or the differences between immediate or chronic curses, but its more like the balance between magics and the corruption of it's natural state" she explained, leaning forward towards him as her mind practically purred at thinking of something challenging and interesting. These thoughts had been flying around her head for years ever since she discovered her innate abilities. Her theories, curiosities and interest in the subject had remained silent until now. It was nice to discuss it.
Remus watched her closely and nodded his head slowly which prompted her to continue,
Poppy spoke passionately and enthusiastically, sitting up in her chair, "Dark magic. It isn't really evil, you know?" she began.
Remus watched her silently. His brow furrowed an inch and his first fingers twitched very slightly as he clasped them together.
Meanwhile, the animagus was in her element, her mind whirling through possibilities, "Magic needs balance as does the universe, much like an ecosystem. Dark magic wouldn't exist without light and light wouldn't exist without dark. 'The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows', and the dark magic which comes from dark creatures is natural, it's a balance. The innocence of a unicorn is balanced by the fierceness of an acromantuala. The magic I detect from you is a natural sort of dark magic, for whatever reason, it has its place in the Wizarding world" Poppy believed this was right. Dark magic had a certain aura around it like other magics. Dark creatures' scents were strong and powerful but hardly unnatural. Unlike the stench of a crutiartis or the obnoxious odour of a bone-shattering curse. Poppy tried held in a gag as she recalled the foul and evil smell which surrounded Lord Voldemort like a plague. It was so strong she was surprised Harry hadn't mentioned it. The Dark Lord or whatever he styled himself as was clearly an unnatural abomination. She didn't need extra sensory spirit wolf abilities to tell her this.
The room had gone silent for several beats after her musings. Tension had crept into Remus' body and he now sat almost woodenly in his chair. It was so silent Poppy could hear the whistling wind banging against the castle windows. The office had grown darker as the light faded but it was not yet dim enough to light the candles. The werewolf before her swallowed and then sat his cup down very slowly on the table before leaning back to level her with a stare. Two beats later he exhaled heavily. He then spoke slowly, "I understand your logic, Poppy. But I cannot believe this… this curse deserves to be inflicted on anyone"
The sixth-year girl blinked in surprise, "Oh, that's not what I meant Remus, honestly" She then rubbed her face, this was one of her insensitive moments, wasn't it?
Poppy hastened to explain, "I meant that you're not an abomination, that your soul isn't corrupted by the curse that you have" She explained clearly, "Your condition is awful and tragic, and nobody deserves to be infected with it. I just meant that you still belong, you aren't some twisted and inflicted wizard who's soul is tainted, just that your magic has it's place in the world and it doesn't condemn you as a taint on the world" Poppy shook her head, growing more passionate as she spoke. Her mind once again drifted towards Voldemort, if anyone didn't belong it was that wizard.
She scoots forward in her seat to stare Remus directly in the eye, he watched back but she couldn't read the expression on his face. It was too closed off.
"Remus, you mustn't focus on the cruelties of your condition. Yes, it's easy but don't you see that you can do so much good with it?" She said gently, hoping to be somewhat comforting. 'Every creature has their uses' her papa murmured in her ear. No, she didn't mean it like that.
Remus' expression was difficult to read, it was mostly blank, but his light green eyes observed her warily and cautiously. The fire crackled in the mostly silent room as it crept closer into darkness, shadows dancing across the room like dementors ready to strike. She continued, "Your magic is stronger, your body is more durable and you're senses are fine-tuned more than any other witch or wizard. Think of the good things you can do with this. The changes you can make in the world, how only someone like you could achieve. There's a place for werewolves is all I meant, I didn't mean to undermine the suffering it must cause you" Poppy said earnestly, hoping her sincerity showed on her face.
The room was silent for a while. Poppy assumed Remus was pondering her words. He had his head down and brows furrowed his posture tense.
Eventually, he shook his head slowly with a frown. Her defence professor then reached for his tea again and took a sip before looking back up at her with a poor attempt at a smile,
"Enough about my condition" He declared, appearing as if he was trying to shake off some unpleasant thoughts, "I'm extremely interested to hear how you managed animagus transformation at such a young age" Remus' tone lightened considerably. He then lifted his wand and with a wave the candles in the room sparked with fire.
Remus took another sip of tea and before she could answer asked, "and I must ask… are Harry, Ron or Hermione?" He trailed off with a smile, asking if they shared her abilities in animagus transformation. It seemed his previous dark mood was forgotten, and interest now lit his eyes.
Poppy laughed and sat back into a more casual position on her chair. She lifted her biscuit to take a nibble, "Nope, only me I'm afraid, Hermione has been hinting for ages I should teach her but that one has enough to worry about as it is" she smiled in amusement.
Remus' eyes filled with knowing and his lips twitched in amusement "how old were you anyway?" He asked with deep interest, leaning forward a little and his curiosity evident on his face.
Poppy's smile fell and she attempted to bring it back before he noticed. Yet Something on her face must have been clear as Remus' excitement dimmed a little and he fiddled with his teacup before taking a sip.
"Before Hogwarts" She replied matter-of-factly.
Remus choked on his tea and coughed heavily, hitting his chest and face turning quite pink. It took him quite the while to settle down to the occasional throat clearing. The werewolf looked at her unbelievably, "your joking, that's impossible" he exclaimed in utter disbelief.
Poppy's lips lifted in a semblance of a smile, "and yet it happened. I had… a pretty strong motivator" her voice was dull and empty. She kept her gaze down. She heard Remus shift and peered back up at him.
When Poppy looked up, he smiled gently at her, green eyes filled with compassion and kindness. His face was open and the way he was looking at her was… foreign. Yet it was familiar and soft, she had seen it many times of Harry's face and her friends. Her mum and dad would sometimes look at her like that though she always looked away awkwardly. Poppy swallowed and smiled a barely-there hesitant smile at him.
Remus made sure she was paying attention before saying, "You are an incredibly talented and powerful witch Poppy. I'm in awe of you" He said softly, pride evident in his small but warm smile.
The feelings inside of Poppy became too much so she snorted and donned her mask again, leaning back comfortably on the chair allowing a small polite smile to edge at the corner of her lips. Remus must have noticed the change in her demeanour as he moved back towards his seat and settled down again.
It was silent for a few moments before her defence professor shook his head and sighed, "We're doing this all wrong. How about we stick to our usual routine? I'll ask a question and then you do and so on. That's usually a good way for us to start"
Poppy raised her eyebrows but smiled in relief. That sounded like a great idea.
Poppy wandered aimlessly around Hogsmeade village, avoiding the shops and wishing she had stayed within the castle that day. It was a cloudy day, the morning sun was long gone as the dull grey clouds settled in to stay, covering every inch of the sky. The village was bustling with students enjoying the last trip before the summer holidays, students hurrying to make plans for their break. Poppy avoided everyone deftly with a fake apologetic smile.
The exam period had been a quiet grace for the animagus. She was excused from socialising and spending time with her parents under the guise of studying and tutoring younger years. She had also seen very little of her twin brother and former friends, allowing her the small hope that she was finally moving on with her life. Poppy could function without them; she didn't need them. If she kept busy enough, she could ignore the place they left in her life.
The actual exams were interesting but not quite enough to constitute as a challenge, she really had been studying excessive amounts lately.
And yet her small escape could only last so long as the exam period finished, and the end of term rapidly approached. Poppy felt physically sick at the reminder where she would be living that summer. Her parents had bought a house, a lovely and elegant cottage in the countryside, the nearest house miles away. She would have her own bathroom and a gorgeous bedroom overlooking a vast and beautiful forest. The location was likely a convenience as this gave Remus a haven during the full moons.
Remus and Sirius would be living with the Potters, of course. To say the house was a cottage was probably an understatement as although it was styled with a rustic feel it was much too large with three floors and a basement. Dumbledore himself was the esteemed secret keeper to their new home. Not that this comforted Poppy any.
The animagus wandered by the Hogshead, scowled and marched on without looking back. She hadn't been back to the pub since her shouting match with Aberforth, his betrayal was still fresh in her mind. Why did he not tell her she was Harry's bloody twin sister. It wasn't fair. She had trusted him. Poppy kicked at the ground in frustration.
It was her own fault for trusting a Dumbledore, she thought bitterly.
The Gryffindor walked slowly, feeling the chill begin to seep through her thin clothes. She would deal with the cold and not bother going inside to warm up, she did not feel like dealing with anyone. Poppy was at least glad that her parents wouldn't be at the village that day. There was an emergency Order meeting apparently. Her dad looked really disappointed, tossing her a large bag of galleons behind her mums back and winked at her to have fun. Poppy snorted to herself, feeling the heavyweight of it in her pocket. What would she buy anyway?
Poppy continued strolling, considering going for a walk towards the shrieking shack when a large boom rocked the entire village. Poppy felt the ground beneath her feet vibrate and immediately the stench of smoke permeated her senses.
Her head whipped towards the sound and saw black heavy smoke further down the village, billowing and curling in the air ominously. The sounds of screams and spells reached her next.
Hogsmeade is under attack.
Poppy froze for perhaps seven seconds, trying to process what was happening and stood still to the spot in shock. Her mind watched in detachment as students and adults alike fled in her direction, panic and fear written across their faces. A group of first year Hufflepuffs were crying as they ran, holding each other up shakily. The elderly owner of Madam Puddifoots bolted out of the shop, wand in hand and slid behind the building, face drowning in terror.
Poppy's mind shut down until another explosion rocked the village, screams grew louder and she noticed the dark-cloaked figures apparating before her with loud cracks and glee filled laughs.
The animagus then jolted as if hit with a hex and ran as fast as her body physically allowed her, directly towards the centre of the chaos. Poppy didn't know exactly where to go but instead followed the steady stream of students and residents fleeing and dashed towards where they fled from. As she drew nearer, she identified the hooded figures as Death Eaters and the stench of dark magic. Her wand was gripped tightly in her hand as spells exploded from her without much conscious thought as she ran deeper into the fray.
'Protego' she cast silently towards a third-year Gryffindor boy she tutored. He had a nasty hex flying towards his back as he ran so she covered him before sending a harsh stunner towards his attacker.
'Cadivus' she conjured a large gust of wind directly on the ground before a group of five Death Eaters throwing exploding curses towards the shops surrounding them. The wind disturbed the dirt at their feet, creating a cloud of dust which caused them to pause, cough and try to shield their eyes.
Poppy's feet didn't stop as she darted by the group, but her eyes hardened and she cast, ''Acidum Scintillae" hissing the incantation under the breath.
The small particles of dust clinging to the attackers transfigured into embers and sparks of flame. She then waved a sticking charm, so these small embers stuck to the robes and flesh of the Death Eaters.
Poppy was too far ahead to see the effect on the group but heard the distressed shouts and pain-filled screams, she heard the sizzling of burning skin and smelled the cloying scent of burning fabric and flesh.
Her logical mind took a back seat as she rounded directly into the chaos, some older students attempting to duel back but the sheer number of Death Eaters were overwhelming. Laughter and shouts of amusement hit her ears. Poppy saw red, her lips curling over her teeth. Bastards, attacking innocent children.
"Crucio" She heard from her left and saw an older student convulsing on the ground, yowls tearing from his throat as he thrashed in agony.
Poppy ran over to him and flicked her wand, "Manus Oppressi" casting silently hoping to catch the attacker unaware. Immediately the Death Eater screamed, dropped his wand as a sickening chorus of cracks erupted from his hand as every bone in his wand hand exploded. Poppy then sent a slicing hex towards his legs and then a stunner. The dark wizard stumbled to the ground, clutching his right hand and legs bent at an awkward angle. He lay paralysed in a steadily growing pool of his own blood.
Poppy's green eyes scanned the boy on the ground panting, tears running down his face as he tried to get his bearings. He seemed fine. She couldn't stop for him. Poppy whirled around as she heard a curse coming directly towards her and didn't hesitate to catch the curse, bring it into herself only to double it back to the assailant. Her attacker crumbled at the redirected skin searing curse, dropping like a dead weight.
Poppy peered back at the boy swiftly and saw Professor Sprout kneeling on the ground. Sprout was doing her best to get the boy upright. Her Herbology teacher looked at her in worry and went to open her mouth but Poppy cut her off,
"-There's a safe room hidden in the back bedroom of Hogsmede, it's behind the bookshelf. If Aberforth isn't there the password is 'Orion', take the students there" She barked at Professor Sprout. Thank Merlin she was so bloody paranoid. And that Aberforth let her extend her wardrobe into a safe room. Her herbology professor didn't miss a beat as Poppy turned back around to continue sending curses, stunners and shield charms around her.
Time seemed to speed up to a hundred miles a minute as her head spun in the chaos. Poppy darted around the village, rage fuelling her wand movements as she focused on permanently disabling the Death Eaters rather than protecting the students and fleeing from the scene like the others.
Poppy checked all the alleyways and shouted at the cowering students stupid enough to corner themselves as she cleared them out, relaying her orders to retreat to Hogshead until help came.
The animagus was fleeing the ally when a figure turned the corner and began dashing down it, head cast backwards as if being chased. Holly grabbed the boy by the arms before he could slam into her and startled as a messy head of black hair and round glasses stared back. Harry.
Her brother jolted and lifted his wand to her in defence automatically. Poppy batted his hand away in irritation and scowled at him,
"Get to Hogshead, there's a safe room there" She commanded harshly, letting go of him and pushing him out of the ally. Cornering yourself Harry, really? Fucking idiot.
Harry scowled back at her, "And leave everyone defenc-" He began to protest only to be cut off as she pushed him aside to start duelling the three figures which appeared at the mouth of the ally, obviously looking for her brother.
It was quick work disabling the group as they hadn't expected her. Three figures lay at awkward angels as she turned back around to her errant brother, "Go now, they're looking for you" She snarled.
Harry panted and stared wide-eyed at her as he caught his bearings. A chorus of screams erupted behind her so she sent him one last warning look before turning to help. Unfortunately, Harry was right at her heels, wand at the ready throwing off fairly strong shield charms to protect her back. This gave the animagus a little more freedom to aim for the Death Eaters more thoroughly now she didn't need to protect herself.
However, it seemed the addition of the boy-who-lived at her side drew the attention of every surrounding Death Eater. They circled the Potter twins, herding them to the middle of the street and surrounding them like cattle ready for slaughter. Poppy felt her eyes flash dangerously.
Poppy felt the first droplets of rain as she stood with her back to Harry, each twin covering the other as best as they could. The distant sounds of apparations hit her ears but she didn't have time to check if it was friend or foe. They were completely surrounded with each minute the Death Eaters drawing closer to the pair. Their attackers grew cocky and sloppy with their movements as confidence overtook them due to their sheer numbers. Laughs and jeers reached her ears, igniting her fury.
The spirit wolf inhaled deeply, drew her wand in a huge arc above her head before directing it straight towards the ground.
"Ekauqhtrae Maxima" She bellowed, a huge illuminating purple light hitting the ground directly, hitting the pavement much like a stone did a river, the glowing spell spreading like ripples rapidly towards the Death Eaters. Every cloaked figure in the vicinity shouted, gasped, toppled over or stumbled at the sheer pressure of the spell. The purple light rippled through Hogsmeade before it faded in the distance.
Poppy took advantage of the startled assailants before her and used the opportunity to hit as many as she could. Her direct route of targeting each individually was gone as now she would just conjure as massive and powerful bursts of energy as she could to push as many dark wizards as back as possible. The animagus twirled her wand to catch the now steady flowing droplets of rain to fashion a large whip which aimed true as it hit the Death Eaters with enough force to send them flying. The rain was growing heavier, making her whip grow to gigantic proportions, the weight of it she could feel in her entire body. She managed to capture a few Death Eaters in the water and then freeze them solid. She flung others away with the motion of the water and created ice daggers largely hitting their targets. The huge basilisk of water was draining her energy too much so she split it down the middle and directed it to the blazing shops surrounding her. The massive amounts of water dropped heavily on the buildings, crushing and smothering the fire effectively, the occasional sizzling sound reaching her ears.
Harry was keeping well but she could feel his struggle in his stumbles as the majority of curses were directed his way. He was also insistent on shielding every spell which came her way. The animagus wasn't sure what happened but one minute Harry was shakily holding own when she heard a shout, felt her brother stumble into her back and then collapse to the ground.
"Harry!" Someone screamed far in the distance.
Poppy's entire world stopped then. Her enhanced senses seemed to catalogue everything around her in an instant.
Dripping wet Death Eaters panted heavily behind their masks in excitement, some were laughing while others stood silently but with arrogance and sick pleasure. Blood thrummed through their veins quickly, heavy with adrenaline - she could feel it in her bones - the lively pumping of a dozen hearts. The village was heavy with the smell of dampness and burning wood, yet the stench of dark magic blanketed it all and almost intoxicated her with it's heady aroma. Peering between the masses Death Eaters, she caught glimpses of the Order, letting her know that reinforcements had arrived. Her mums fiery red was muted a slightly darker tone by the pouring rain, whipping around her face in distress and she ran over. Spells and stunners were flung behind her at the Death Eaters at her back. Dumbledore appeared but was sorely out of place in this grey, bleak battleground. His startlingly bright whimsical robes and weathered face seemed like a hallucination of some sort. The headmaster walked with a strength that beguiled his age directly towards her. Snape marched by his side like an obedient soldier, wand out and spells flying with a thunderous sneer on the potion masters face.
Poppy could feel Harry behind her, against the back of her legs unconscious. She looked down and could see his life blood pooling on the ground, becoming diluted and washing away meaninglessly with the rain. Harry's glasses were shattered creating tiny abrasions on his face. His eyes were closed but mouth was slacked... lips parted slightly.
Poppy lost it.
"Protego Diabolica" Poppy hissed, eyes flashing. The hardened witch cast the spell clearly, turning around in a large circle as the menacing black flames erupted from the damp ground eagerly. The flames cackled with power and dark energy, twice the height of her body. Desperate screams reached her ears and burning flesh assaulted her. Poppy watched with a sense of dark detachment as the Death Eaters surrounding her and Harry were burnt alive, crumpling and melting before her eyes. The flames leapt out seemingly with a mind of their own, catching the attackers which had stumbled back. A few of the bolder Death Eaters cast anti-burning charms on their attire and foolishly tried to walk through the flames. They burned as well.
Knowing this was the strongest protection imaginable, Poppy dropped to her feet beside Harry and waved desperate diagnostic spells. Her breaths came in frantic pants as she realised, he was hit with a dark slicing curse. Nothing fatal, thank Merlin, but extremely debilitating and painful. Harry twitched every so often, each motion like a stab to her heart. He would need a potion to stop feeling the full effects. She tore his robes at the back to assess the injury more carefully. She lifted her wand, cold and warm streams of water pouring down her face and began to stop to flow of blood.
Her black flames continued to crackle though with less power than before now her attention was directed elsewhere. Glimpses of the streets caught her vision, yet she ignored it in favour for casting the incantation on her brother.
Poppy stared at the still painful looking wound and held her wand lightly against it, "Proxima Tenebris" she whispered, calling deep inside of herself, tapping directly into her animagus abilities, the love she felt for her brother at the forefront of her mind.
With relief she saw as the wound very slowly stitched closed, a bright blue light dancing along his broken skin. Harrys flesh moved and bonded together tightly. The spirit wolf continued chanting her healing spell.
Poppy felt the moment someone walked through her flames. She was wary but not on alert as there was no possible way they meant her harm.
Dumbledore strode through the dark flames, casually, as if this was a regular occurrence for him. However, his back was military straight and expression sombre as she'd ever seen it. Her headmaster approached her slowly but she turned her head in favour of tending to her twin. The wounds on his back were entirely closed now - an incredible feet for such a dark spell - though he still twitched in pain. Poppy sighed shakily in relief and moved to a more comfortable position on the ground, cross legged, and placed Harrys head gently on her thigh.
Albus Dumbledore was somewhere over her shoulder but she ignored the formidable wizard as her hands skimmed Harry's body lightly with her palm, wandlessly healing him of any abrasions. His hands were bloody and crusted with dirt. Harry's ribs were broken and swelling. His legs twitched with the aftershock residue of dark magic.
She settled comfortably in the dirt and stroked Harry's hair once then repaired his shattered glasses. Extremely carefully, she levitated the tiny specs of glass embedded in his face and healed the tiny cuts with a soft wave. This was close, too close. What if Harry had been hit by the killing curse? And she was right there and couldn't even protect him then. Poppy felt physically sick and shaky.
Poppy felt a hand land gently on her shoulder and peered up to the powerful Wizard standing above her.
"Poppy, would you mind?" Dumbledore spoke to her calmly, waving a wrinkled hand meaningfully towards the still present but controlled wall of fire separating the three figures from the rest of Hogsmeade.
The animagus could see through the gaps in her flames. See everyone standing before her ring of black fire, staring at her. Her mum and dad stood together, face drawn in worry and panic. Remus and Sirius stood off to the side. Mad-eye moody, a pink haired witch, Severus Snape, Professor McGonagall, and a couple aurors all stood behind her protective barrier. Ron had his arm wrapped protectively around sister and girlfriend. They were all looking back at her.
She looked up at the Headmaster and nodded her head in understanding. Poppy lifted a hand and waved to indicate a cancelling of the spell. The flames died out quickly, snuffed into nothingness. Without the crackling and hissing flames permeating the air, the stillness and stony silence of the village was stark.
Poppy looked back down at Harry and cast more diagnostic spells, warming charms, numbing hexes and anything which she thought might ease his discomfort. She wiped away the sweat and blood from his face and dried his school robes, relieved the rain had finally stopped.
She could hear footsteps approaching quickly and the scents of her mother and father drifted towards her. Poppy didn't look up to acknowledge her parents arrival but instead stood up from the ground and waved her hand to levitate Harry's unconscious body.
"He'll be fine" Poppy answered pre-emptively, anticipating the questions and not in the mood to deal with any.
Now that the fighting was over, a nausea was rapidly overcoming the witch. A deep sense of disgust, horror and shameful detachment with everything around her. Her nose burned with the stench of charred flesh, she didn't think she would ever get rid of the smell.
What had she done?