Huh, there's no Splatoon X Harry Potter fanfics out there yet.

Let's change that!

Callie felt herself shy away from the purple Ink in front of her. Roller in hand, she took a step back and stared down the opposing Octoling.

"Out of our way, Cuphead!"

The Octoling screamed as a blast of ink caught it from behind. Marie lowered her charger, taking a tentative step forward.

"Where are Agents 3 and 4?"

"Making out, probably." Callie said, grinning. "You know how they are when they're alone."

Marie rolled her eyes. Unlike her cousin, she did not think Agent 3 and 4 made a particularly endearing couple. They fought too much for one thing.

The Squid Sisters, also known as Agents 1 and 2 of the Squidbeak Splatoon, were decked out in full hero suit gear. This mission called for all four active members to take up arms. It had been the first time they had all been in the field together since Agent 4 had joined some months previously, and Callie had been recovered from the Octarians.

This time, they had taken the fight to the Octarians themselves in traditional, four on four warfare. But unlike the splatfests above, the game was unregulated by any sort of rules or judges. Down here, it was anything goes.

Anything goes, that is, until the recovery point itself was captured, and a splat meant certain death.

"Come on, Callie." Marie urged. "Stop daydreaming and let's get moving."

Callie smiled at her, nodding energetically. "Right." She said. "Let's show them what for!"

Callie darted ahead of her, Roller firmly in hand, as Marie followed closer behind. This was not a turf war, so Callie did not lay down ink out of fear of giving away their position. The place seemed unusually colorless for a battle. But then again, this wasn't a game. The fact of the two societies rested on the results of this battle.

The Two Squids found nothing of interest until they reached a large, open area with a large dome in the middle. Callie was strongly reminded of Humpback Track as she looked at it. The raised platform in the middle housed an odd object that neither squid had ever seen before.

"What is it?" Callie whispered, stepping forward.

It seemed to be a kind of strange ball. They could see strange objects and places floating around inside. Neither Squid knew what to make of it.

Callie reached forward to touch it, but Marie slapped her hand away. "Idiot." She snapped. "It could be dangerous."

"But it's so pretty…"

"We need to find that new weapon of theirs. We have no time to be looking at trinkets."

Callie groaned, and shook her head as if to protest, but it was then that purple ink shot at them!

"Get down!'

The squids, by instinct, whirled around to face their attackers. Three Octolings, each armed, were splatting their way up towards them, all from different directions.

Marie grimaced. "This doesn't look good." She murmured. She cast a look behind her, towards the ball. "Be careful not to touch it." She warned, the grip on her charger tightening. "We don't know what that-"

"Oh, but soon you will."

The girls shrieked as thick purple ink suddenly shot up around them, through holes in the ground that neither of them had noticed moments before. The girls quickly got over their surprise and readied themselves.

And then the floor behind them opened.

The girls whirled around to face the new arrival, and were not surprised to find their enemy.

"Octavio." Marie greeted, almost immediately taking aim at his exposed head. "Nice to splat you."

She fired. The ball of ink went soaring straight at the Octarian's face, before swerving off to the side. Marie frowned, confused.

"Is this your new weapon…?"

"Of a sort." Octavio said, sounding unbearably smug. "Ah, Agents 1 and 2… I cannot even begin to tell you how pleased I am at your arrival."


Callie grinned, raising her roller. "So you want us to splat you, is that it?" She asked, as she brandished the weapon in front of her. "Well, I am very willing to oblige…"

Octavio snickered. "Ah, girls, girls… have you not realized yet? I led you down here."

The girls froze, confusion on their faces.

"You…. led us down here?" Marie asked, sounding confused. "What do you mean?"

"I wanted you to find me here. In those place." Octavio said, waving a tentacle in front of the ball carelessly. "To be here to witness…. History."

He chuckled.

"History?" Callie repeated. "what do you mean?"

Octavio whirled his floating chair around to the ball. "I have fought many battles with you squids, and have found myself the loser each time." He said. "Due to our loss all those years ago, we have never been able to recover our culture or society. That crushing loss has stripped us of any pride or strength of character. We have reached the point where our best and brightest youth are fleeing to the surface, desperate to live among you squids."

He raised a tentacle towards the thing on the pedestal. "I will not see that happen!" He cried. "I will change history itself if I must!"

He turned to face them again. "And you, the Grandchildren of my enemy, will be the ones to grow old and witness how Octopus kind lead this world into a new age!"

He whirled back again and raised the ball.

"Great Time Orb!" He called. "Take me back to a time before Inklings ruled this world. While the Earth was still clean from their filth, a world that will soon play host to all octopus kind!"

The thing grew with a brilliant light. The Squids Sisters, the Female Octolings from behind the wall of Ink, and Octavio himself were drawn into the light, to an age long past.

Rubeus Hagrid was spending his last days at Hogwarts going over the caretaker duties to Professor Grubbly-Plank, who would be filling in for him while he was gone over the summer.

"Now, ye gotta be careful when dealing with centaurs. They don't much fancy being talked down to, see. You gotta respect them. Let them know they're better than you."

Professor Grubbly-Plank nodded. Despite having actually completed her tenure at Hogwarts and having travelled the world studying magical beasts, she had nothing but a vast wealth of respect for Hagrid and his talents with animals. Although she was well aware that students often feared the creatures he showed off, she knew that he was simply still adjusting to his position. As an animal handler and caretaker, he was unmatched. She had no doubt he could raise a dragon all on his own if he truly wanted to. No one was better suited to his position, despite his lack of formal education.

"Perhaps we should meet with them, before you leave." She suggested. "So that they know who I am."

"Nah, better not. Chances are they already know. They'll think yeh're just trying to act as if you're full of yehself. Best let them be."

She nodded, taking the advice to heart.

The duo stepped in front of Hagrid's hut. The lake in front of them was glittering beautifully.

"Where are you travelling to, Hagrid?" She asked curiously. "For your holiday?"

"For me…?"

He looked down, embarrassed. He did not want to see. But Professor Grubbly-Plank smiled knowingly. "You are spending time with Madame Maxime, I see." She said. "Will you be visiting here in France?"

"Well… not in France, no…."

She almost felt like snickering. He looked so embarrassed. "Well, I'm glad to hear that you two are getting alo-"

The bright flash of light took them both by surprise. Hagrid, almost instinctively, grabbed her and yanked her off her feet. Not for the first time, She marveled at the sheer strength of him. She was not a small woman, but he could throw her around like a rag doll with a single hand if he truly wanted to. T

They quickly hid behind a tree, letting their hearts settle, as they peered out over the lake. "What was that?" Professor Grubbly-Plank asked. "Wha-"

"Something's down there." Hagrid said. To her horror, he stepped out behind the trees and stomped down to the lake. Professor Grubbly-Plank, reluctantly, followed him.

There, laying down on the lake shoreline, were two things that, at a distance, looked awfully like young girls, perhaps eighteen or nineteen years of age. But as they got closer…

"What are these?" Professor Grubbly Plank breathed.

The girls did not have hair. Instead they had long, tentacles that sprouted from their heads. Each was tied in a different style.

"I don't know." Hagrid said, sounding amazed. "I've never seem anything like 'em."

He looked down at the water. "Is that blood?"

Grubbly-Plank looked, and saw that a faint stream of liquid was visible in the water. "Quick, get them out of the water!"

Hagrid, before she had even stopped talking, bent down and carried the one with short white hair tentacles further ashore, onto the grass. Grubbly Planky waved her wand, and the black girl was lifted off the ground. He tentacles fell down behind her back as if they were long strands of hairs.

They flipped the girls over, and Grubbly Plank immediately began looking them over. "Hmm…" She muttered, as she touched and probed them. "Still alive."

She knew nothing about these creatures, but she could tell that much. They were both breathing, after all. Inwardly she began taking notes about their physiology. Outwardly, they appeared very similar to people. But there were odd ends that normal people would not have. The tentacles were the most striking, but a quick medical examination showed that the girls were nothing like people, especially on the inside. Grubbly Plank touched a wrist, searching for a pulse, and squeezed the arm like a can of toothpaste. The girls had no bones, other than their teeth, of which they had small fangs.

"We need to identify them before we can get them help." Grubbly Plank said, taking charge of the situation. "I'll speak with Dumbledore… could you speak with the Merperson chieftain? They may have an idea of where they came from."

Hagrid nodded, and Professor Grubbly Plank, with a wave of her wand, conjured a pair of stretchers and lifted the girls into them. Off they went, into the castle. First stop, the hospital wing.


"Albus, I have never seen creatures like this in all of my days."

"No one has, Minerva. Wilhelmina has already flooed experts."

"Creatures in our lake that we've never heard of before? Albus, could it be-"

"Let us not jump to any conclusions, Minerva."

Marie groaned, raising her head to her head. The voices that had been bothering here stopped, immediately after she had.

"Thanks." She garbled, unable to even open her eyes properly. She lay her head back down again.

Then, to her annoyance, the whispers started once again.

"She spoke!"

"Thanks?" For what?"

"Let us ask…."

Marie was in the middle of that dreamy, hazelike state where she still felt asleep, but she could sense the approach of someone nearing her bedside.

"Excuse me." The voice said. It was warm and friendly. "Are you awake?"

"Grandpa, stop it…."

She shook herself out of her reverie. No… that was not Cap'n Cuttlefish's voice…

She blinked again, her golden eyes flashing in the light. The group around her bed, gasped at the sight of her. Marie groaned, and then entered angry celebrity mode.

"Who let you people into my home?" She demanded, her voice raised. "Do you know who I-"

She faltered, as she raised her hand to her lips in surprise. This was not her home.

And these people… were not squids.

"Greetings." The Old Man in front of her said warmly. "I hope we didn't disturb you."

Marie stared at him, openmouthed, for once in her life at a loss for words.

"Where am I?" She asked immediately. "Who are you?" Her eyes flashed, suddenly becoming angry. "Where's Callie?"

"Your friend?"

The man stepped aside, and Marie let a breath of relief wash through her. Sitting there, on the bed across from them, was her partner in crime.

She tenderly slid out of bed and stepped over to her, looking down at her slumbering form. She looked unharmed, merely asleep.

She turned around, glaring at the old man and his companions, as she placed her hand on her hips. "That's one question down, old man." She said. "But you better answer the others, and quick."

The woman behind him stepped forward, looking stern. "Listen here, young lady-"

"No, no, Minerva." The man said hastily, holding out his hand to stop her. "She's frightened and confused. Please, let her speak her mind."

He looked towards her. His eyes had a strange sort of twinkle in them. His eyes looked nothing like inkling eyes. And his tentacles weren't tentacles at all.

"Please, Miss. Let us introduce ourselves before we go any further." He put his hand forward, smiling warmly. "My name is Albus Dumbledore." I am the headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and Wizardry."

Marie's mouth tightened into a line as she stared down at his hand, wondering whether it was some kind of trick. Eventually, she relented and gently took it. "My name is… Marie." She said. "The more popular half of the Squid Sisters."

"The Squid Sisters?"

"Our duet. We're singers. Have you never heard of us? "

"I'm sorry, but no."

She was used to older people not knowing who she was, or getting her confused with Callie, but this was different. This man seemed to know nothing about either of them. "Where am I, Mr. Dumbledore?" She asked, thinking it best to be polite. She gently took steps backward to her bed, and sat down at it. "What is this… Hogwarts?"

"It is a school, where strange and wonderful things happen every day." He told her. She groaned.

"Really, old man?"

Behind Dumbledore, the woman raised an objection again, but Dumbledore quieted her with a wave.

"That's right." He told her. "Have you never heard of Hogwarts?"

"No, never."

The two stared at each other, and Marie was again starting to wonder how she had gotten here. Instead of waiting for him to speak again, she bent her head over, deep in thought.

She felt tired again, all of a sudden. "Please, let this be a bad dream…" She thought aloud, as she lay back on the bed. Before long, she had fallen asleep again.

The group all stared at her, open mouthed. "Well." Minerva said, sounding amazed. "That was something."

"It was indeed." Dumbledore said, his voice quiet. "It was indeed."



Wow, a 2500 word chapter for something I just came up with today? Impressive, considering my work ethic. Anyway, I would love to hear your feedback on this since this set up has literally NEVER been done before. It's the first of its kind! That means something, right?