Normal text is for the reactions of the Freelancers and their host

Bold is the footage they are watching

[Text in Brackets denotes Maine using the tablet Ivan gave him]

-Line Break-

"Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot."

-Leonard L. Church, RvB

-Line Break-

"Everyone ready to continue?" asked Ivan after everyone was finished with their break.

"It's about time," griped South, "It's been only 10 minutes but it feels likes months."

*Begin Episode 12*

Down, but not Out

The camera fades in to Caboose standing on top of Blue Base looking through a sniper rifle.

"Should Caboose really have that thing?" South wondered, "If Church can't hit anything with it, Caboose is probably only capable of hitting teammates."

"Man... He is really kicking their asses." the Blue Rookie commented.

"How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?" complained Tucker. Caboose lowers the rifle.

"I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs." Caboose continued.

"Pretty sure anyone would be glad to have Tex on their team." noted Ivan. Tex was about to respond, but then a thought occurred to her that kept her silent.

"Sure makes things a lot easier on us." agreed the aqua soldier.

"Yeah. I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade." the rookie pointed out.

"It definitely seems like your killing Church is starting to work out for us." Tucker agreed.

The silence in the room was deafening.

"Were any of us that casual about one of the others dying?" asked York.

"… I almost want to say the way most of us acted was worse, at least near the end." replied North. The rest of the Freelancers chose not to say anything, South and Connie would occasionally try to look at each other in a subtle way. But every time one tried, they kept getting caught by the other and would quickly look away.

"Ya know, ya think so?" asked Caboose, "You know, I was gonna say something but, uh, well you know, uh… nuh…"

"Did Tex get in the base?" asked Tucker, prompting Caboose to look through the rifle again, just in time to see Tex enter Red Base.

"Yeah." he reported. The camera then cuts to inside Blue Base, where the flag reappears.

"Blue Team, flag returned." announced a male voice.

"What the...?" Tucker looked around, confused, "Who said that?"

"Seriously, who was that?" Even Tex was confused.

"Sorry, that was me." Church explained after clearing his throat, "I, uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way."

Everyone sweatdropped a little.

"Hey, it's Church!" Caboose excitedly pointed out the obvious.

"Yeah, it's me. Hey, Caboose." Church greeted the Blue Rookie

"Hey, Church, what're you up to?" Caboose asked in a peppy tone.

"Caboose, ah-huh-huh," Church laughed, "I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay?" he then turned serious, "How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?"

"Wh-What? Oh, th-that flag?" Tucker stammered, "We've always had that."

"Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool?" Church admonished, before he realized someone was missing, "Hey, wait a second... Where's Tex?"

"Oh, shit." York grinned, "They're in trouble."

"Oh, yeah. Church did say he didn't want them to let Tex get involved, didn't he?" South smirked.

"I'm not really sure," Tucker explained, trying to come up with a story "he said he was gonna go to the store, something about uh, elbow grease." Unfortunately, Church saw right through the lie.

"Oh great. This is so typical! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?" he snapped.

"That Sidewinder is cold..!?" Caboose guessed cluelessly.

"What was the OTHER one thing I told you?" Church grunted.

"That Private Jimmy was a good kid." snarked Wyoming.

"That Tex can rip out a man's skull and beat him to death with it." added Ivan.

[That Tex was the reason you never married your girlfriend.] said Maine.

"Can you people let that go already?" groaned Tex.

"Not to let him get involved?" Tucker guessed.

"Right." Church confirmed, "And what did you do?"

"..We let him get involved." Tucker answered, sounding like a kid caught in a lie.

"And not just a little involved. How involved?" Church continued to prompt.

"Very, very involved." answered Caboose, also sounding like a kid caught in a lie. The camera then cuts to Tex walking through Red Base, with Sarge emerging from the left.

"Freeze." ordered the Red Sergeant. At the same time, Lopez comes in from the right, trapping the Freelancer.

"You seriously got caught by these guys?" South asked incredulously.

"Overconfidence mixed with underestimating the enemy can lead to anyone screwing up." countered Tex.

"Drop your weapon." demanded Sarge, to which Tex complies.

"Hey, buddy." the Freelancer began.

"What?" Sarge replied

"You really better hope the first one knocks me out." Sarge proceeded to hit Tex with the butt of his shotgun, conveniently knocking out the mercenary in one hit. The camera then cuts to the top of Red Base, where Grif is getting to his feet and Simmons is kneeling next to Donut.

"Ow, what the…" the orange soldier groaned, "My freakin' head. Jesus."

"He's hurt, Grif." Simmons said, standing up from tending to Donut, "He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast."

'He's hurt', no shit, he took a grenade to the head. Thought everyone. York once again subconsciously touched his scar.

"Yeah, yeah, hold on one second. What happened here?" asked Grif, "W- First Donut's head exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait." interrupted the maroon soldier, "I did not faint, something knocked me out."

"To be fair to Simmons, I did actually knock him out." admitted Tex.

"Okay fine, keep lying to yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night." responded Grif.

"Man, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut outta here." said the maroon soldier.

"Yeah, sure. Oh, and uh, I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking." the orange soldier replied, before running down the ramp.

"Whatever, no one likes you anyway." mutters Simmons. The camera then cuts to Caboose once again looking at Red Base through a sniper rifle.

"Yep, he's definitely captured... Or dead... Captured or dead." Caboose reported, before gasping as he has an epiphany, "Or captured AND dead!"

"Oh, well that's just PERFECT!" Church snaps sarcastically.

"What!? What is your problem!? Why do you even care if he's captured?" asked Tucker, "I thought you hated that guy anyway for stealing your girlfriend."

Tex growled a little and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I never said I hated Tex." responded Church, "I just said that she was the reason why we never got married." Caboose noticed something odd about what Church said.

"Huh, so Church is aware Tex is a girl." North commented.

"I'm actually surprised he isn't pissed at Tex for stealing-" York was promptly cut off by Tex.

"Next person to even insinuate that I stole Church's girlfriend is getting punched." Everyone else wisely remained silent.

"'She'?" The camera then cuts to the inside of Red Base, where everyone but Donut is present.

"Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here." explained Simmons

"Could you put that in a memo and entitle it 'Shit I already know'!" Sarge replied sarcastically, "Get on the horn with Command!" he then turns to Tex as she stands up, "Well, look who's up. Rise 'n' shine, buttercup." As Tex stands up, there are sparks flying from her armor, causing her to jerk around a bit. There's also a brief sound, like a distorted voice.

"Oh great…" the Freelancer complained in her real feminine voice, "You broke my voice filter. You cock biting fucktards!"

"Never did get around to fixing that…"

"Ah-ha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!" exclaimed Grif. The camera then fades to black.

Connie resists the urge to facepalm. South does not.

*End Episode*

"Let's get going to the next episode." declared Tex, "If only to clear up my past with Church." Ivan nodded.

"Alright, just-" whatever he was about to say next was cut off by his phone going off again.

"Hello?" he blinked a little , "You're sending-? I see, just give me a moment." Ivan then stood up and walked behind everyone and snapped his fingers, conjuring a table, "Alright we're good to go." once more, he hung up his phone and put it in his pocket.

Another burst of fire and smoke, and there was now a cake on the table. Taking a closer look, the Freelancers realized that the cake was designed to look like a child's rendition of a mjolnir helmet drawn in crayon. It was actually well drawn, and the color…

"Is that a Caboose cake?" Flowers realized. Ivan just shrugged.

"Looks like it, but that isn't all…" True to his word, there was another burst of smoke and flame, and a large cardboard box appeared next to the cake. Ivan walked over to the box and extended his index finger, where a small blade of ice formed that he then used to slice the tape.

"You might as well come over here," he said, "These are all gifts to you people

Curious, the Freelancers got up to see what was in store.

"For Maine, we have something called a 'Bruteshot'." Ivan casually lifted the weapon out of the box and handed it to the juggernaut of a man. Maine put it on his back and pulled out his tablet.

[I appreciate getting this back, but what exactly am I supposed to do with it? It's not like we're getting into fights.]

"You could eat off of it." York joked. Maine shook his head.

[That'd be stupid, I'll probably just mount it on the wall or something.]

"Anyway," Ivan continued, "For Tex, we have a stuffed bear wearing black Mjolnir armor appropriately named 'Austin'." The bear was handed to Texas.

"For North, we have a plushie of someone named 'Theta' because apparently the person who sent this has a crush on you.." The Freelancers went silent at the declaration.

"How do you know they-?" North's question was cut off by Ivan holding up notes that had been attached to the gifts, "Okay, well, then who sent us this stuff?"

"Uhhh…" Ivan shuffled through the notes, "That would be… Agent North Carolina of Project Rookie?" The Freelancers all blinked.

"Since when was there a Project Rookie?" Connie asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Apparently she also took some kind of quiz that said Tex was her sister…?" Ivan hesitantly threw out. The Freelancers all stared at him.

"A quiz?" South echoed in disbelief, "Like one of those 'Which Avenger are you' quizzes?" The prince just shrugged.

"I guess…?" The Freelancers collectively decided that it wasn't worth getting invested in trying to figure out this Project Rookie business.

"So, what else is in there?" asked York.

"Well, for you we have yet another plush, this time it's someone called 'Delta'." Ivan pulled out a plush wearing bright green Mjolnir armor. York accepted the plushie with a nostalgic smile.

"For Flowers we have a Tucker plushie." Ivan handed Flowers the aqua plush holding a mini plastic energy sword.

"Wyoming also gets a plushie, this one is someone by the name of 'Junior'." Wyoming gave a flat stare as he accepted the stuffed sangheili wearing aqua armor.

"Hey, there's something in here for you, too." York noticed, taking something out of the box and handing it to Ivan.

"A gunmetal dagger." The prince noted, surprised, but grateful, that someone decided to send him something. He then summoned a sheath for the dagger and mounted it on his belt before turning back to the remaining gifts, "Anyway, for Connie, 'Have a stuffed version of your boyfriend you-' Oh, jeez." Ivan crumpled up the note and tossed it behind him into a waste bin that appeared next to a wall as he handed the plush to the Freelancer.

"Do I want to know what she called me?" She questioned, as Tex got curious and went to see what the note said.


"I'll take your word for it."

"And last, but not least, South." Ivan changed subjects, "For her we have… An A.I. fragment named 'Ceta'." Hearing that, all the Freelancers tensed up.

"An A.I. Fragment." South echoed, grimacing slightly, "Lovely…" she muttered.

"Hey, kid." Tex piped up, looking at the uncrumpled note from Connie's gift, "Is there any way for me to contact the person who sent is this stuff?" Ivan scratched the back of his head.

"Not exactly, but I can put you in contact with someone who can pass on a message."

"Cool." Tex nodded, "Do that." In response, Ivan snapped his fingers and summoned a door leading to a new room, before pulling out his cellphone, pulling up a contact, and handing the device to Texas.

"The room's mostly soundproof, so no one will be able to hear you unless you starting shouting." he explained, "Just hit call and the person who answers will pass on your message." Nodding and taking the phone, Tex went to the new room and did just that.

"So…" South began slowly, fiddling with the A.I. Fragment chip in her hands, "What are we going to do about this?"

"We could plug it into this." Ivan offered, showing that he had summoned a disc shaped projector with a cable to for the chip. South saw no reason not to go along.

Plugging the chip into the able, everyone waited. And waited. And waited. After about a minute of nothing, it was firmly established something had gone wrong.

"Now what?" asked North.

"Just a minute." muttered Ivan as he summoned a laptop and witched the cable to it. After typing the key for a moment, he noticed something odd.

"I think I've found the problem. This chip used to have something on it, but most of it's been erased, and what little remains has been corrupted beyond repair, almost like this chip was in range-"

[When someone set off an emp?] guessed Maine, having a sneaking suspicion as to what happened. Ivan looked at the hulking man.

"Set off an E.M.P, yes. How'd you guess?"

[Sorry, didn't put the periods so the program read it as a word instead of an acronym. That aside, let's just call it a hunch.] South, meanwhile, just shrugged.

"Eh, just as well, y'know?" she figured, "Without listing anything too specific, these A.I. Fragments are usually more trouble than they're worth." All the Freelancers present were inclined to agree.

"Well, then I guess all that's left to do is wait for Tex to finish with her call." suggested Flowers, to which everyone agreed.

-Line Break-

Meanwhile, with Tex

The room Ivan had created was nothing special, size-wise it was somewhere between an actual room and a broom closet, and there wasn't any form of furniture. Not that Tex cared as she called the number on Ivan's contact list and held the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" asked a voice.

"Hey, Ivan lent me his phone, I was told you could pass on a message for me?" she replied.

"Yes, that would be correct." the voice on the other side confirmed, "And who would this message be to?"

"Agent North Carolina of Project Rookie."

"I see. Simply state your message, hang up when you are done, and I will pass it on." Taking a deep breath, Tex began.

"Alright, North Carolina, here's the thing, Connie doesn't deserve to be villainized for what she did. If you knew why she did what she did, I'm sure you would agree. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you didn't know what the Director was doing behind the scenes." Tex clenched her free hand into a fist, "How he tortured the Alpha, making him fragment to try and save himself. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you didn't know about any of that, rather than that you did, but just didn't care. Could Connie have gone about things a different way? A better way? Maybe. But, hey, hindsight's 20/20. Since you see me as a sister, I figured I would be the best person to tell you this, that I would be the one you would be most likely to listen to." the Freelancer sighed, "Just, give it some thought. And for what it's worth, thanks for the gifts."

Ending the call, she turned and went back to the main room. When she got there, she saw everyone getting settled for the next episode with a slice of cake. And that true to what Maine said earlier, they had mounted the Bruteshot on the wall.

"Everything go well?" questioned Wyoming.

"About as well as can be expected, I guess." replied Tex, running her fingers through her hair. Deciding not to linger on the subject, she grabbed herself a can of beer, a slice of cake, and returned to her spot on the couch while Ivan started the next episode.

*Begin Episode 13*

Human Peer Bonding

The camera fades in to Tucker on top of Blue Base.

"Let me get this straight…" began Tucker, "You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And, on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary." confirmed Church.

"Wait, you're Church's Ex-girlfriend?" questioned North.

"You dated a Sim?" South quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes." Tex replied bluntly, "Anyone have a problem with that?" there was a moment of silence, "Thought so."

"I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls never like me." Caboose chimed in.

"Caboose," Tucker turned to the blue rookie, "I don't think anybody likes you."

"I doubt anyone likes you either." muttered South. Connie had no problem agreeing with her on that.

"I like me…"

"I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick?" Tucker asked as he turned back to Church, "And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?"

"Tucker, that's just rude." Flowers admonished the aqua soldier.

"I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark." replied Church.

"Wait, oh wait, oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?" wondered Caboose.

"What kind of question is that?" asked York.

"Uh... because she's from Texas." explained Church. Caboose was silent at this answer.

[What kind of explanation is that?] asked Maine.

"Trust me, it makes sense." the ghost brushed it off, "And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"Right." agreed Tucker, "You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!" the aqua soldier shouted at the sky.

"Okay, dial it back a bit Tucker." said York.

"Will you shut up with that?" Church asked, irritated, "She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"A.I…" Caboose repeated, "What's the A stand for?"

"Artificial." answered the local ghost. Caboose thought for a moment.

"...What's the I-"

"Intelligence." interrupted Church.

"Ooohhhhhhhhh, what was the A again?" asked Caboose.

"Let's move on." Church ignored him.

"So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?" asked Tucker.

Tex just laughed at that.

"Oh hell no." Church replied, "She's always been a rotten bitch. It's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

"Quite the… unique relationship you two had." Wyoming commented.

"It was." Tex admitted, "And I will not be judged for it."

"Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one." the aqua trooper replied sarcastically, "Good catch there, buddy. She's a keeper."

"So how're you doing, Caboose?" Church asked the rookie, "Are you following any of this whatsoever?"

"I think so…" Caboose responded slowly, "That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot!"

"Pretty sure there's a fandom or two that have ships involving a gay robot…" Ivan muttered.

"Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot." Church sarcastically confirmed. The camera then cuts to Grif and Simmons holding Tex at gunpoint.

"So, you're a girl, huh?" wondered Grif. Tex remained silent at his inquiry.

"Just ignore him," explained Simmons, "that's what I do."

"Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya?" taunted the orange soldier.

"Hey, punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you." the Freelancer replied.

"Yeah, right." Grif wasn't buying it, "What're you gonna do? Punch me?" In response, Tex feints a lunge at Grif, causing the orange soldier to flinch and jump back.

"Ahh!" he cried, "Not in the face!"

"You're just asking for it at this point." North pointed out. Everyone agreed.

The camera cuts back to Church on Blue Base.

"Well don't worry because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex." explained the ghost.

"A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans." complained Tucker, "That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a ..mission statement?"

"I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex."

"Distraction?" Caboose repeated nervously, "Heh. That sounds a lot like 'decoy.'"

"That is a common way of serving as a distraction." Wyoming admitted.

"The way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many Freelancers we have out here." Church explained his plan, "So all I need from the two of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base."

"That's actually a pretty solid plan." York pointed out.

But how is Church supposed to do anything if he's a ghost? Wondered Ivan, Unless…

"Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get two suits of black armor?" Tucker pointed out. Church responds by looking at the teleporter. Tucker looks at it as well, before turning back to Church

"...Oh fuckberries…" the aqua trooper immediately catches on to what Church has planned.

*End Episode*

"Okay," said North, "Unless there are more packages incoming, we should probably start the next episode."

"Already on it." Ivan reported as he lifted the remote.

Author's Note

Okay, I know it has been *cringes* over a year since I last updated Freelancers React, and I am so sorry. A big part of the reason is that college took up a lot of my time, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't also have trouble finding motivation to get writing. Again, I'm really sorry about the wait, but the Fic isn't dead. I recently finished a semester so I should be able to get more writing done. That aside, replies:


I can understand that, whenever I read Fics of characters reacting to stuff like Death Battle or RWBY I tend to skim the parts of the actual show unless it's a Fan-made Death Battle or the RWBY portion is a crossover fic. Glad to see you're still enjoying this!

Shadow the Ranger

As happy as I am to see you enjoying this, I have to say again that with how long it can take me to get a chapter out with only two episodes per chapter, if I add anymore episodes I will literally never get around to writing/uploading.


As you can see, they appreciated the snack!

Sailor Luck

I'll address Epsilon!Church's fragmentation at a later date, but as for the other A.I.s, getting erased by the E.M.P kind of rendered them Deader Than Dead.


Thank you for the support!

Shiranai Atsune

Sorry for the wait, but we're not dead just yet! The Freelancers put it together pretty quick that Church is an A.I. and I'm not sure about the subconscious memories, but it is an interesting thought.


Glad to see you're still enjoying this, sorry for taking so long.


Things are gonna be pretty crazy, but sooner or later they're just gonna get numb to it, 'Oh, it's the Reds and Blues, when aren't they getting into some crazy shit?'


They've gotten some, and you're more than welcome to send some more in!


People forget stuff, it's no big deal.


Oh, yeah, Season 16… So much for getting a fire under my butt *sweatdrops*


Not giving up yet! There's still so much I want to do!


Well, worry not! Because I am here! (at the moment)


Not dead yet, too lazy to die!


I can understand where you're coming from, but there will be times when the Reds and Blues do something so amazing/amazingly stupid that the Freelancers won't be able to wait until the end.


I'm trying!


Is that a fact? Well, I'm glad you enjoy my work!

Mega Float Guest

Guess it just hasn't occurred to her yet, then again, York hasn't noticed either…


I'll try and get the next chapter out soon, and yeah, definitely looking forward to Lopez's snark.


Yeah, both have gotten fucked one way or the other.


They'll watch parts of it, and I have something really special planned for one of them.


I like to think that by that time, everyone will have gotten attached to the Reds and Blues, so not looking forward to that…

Sacke110 (get ready to see this name a bunch of times in a row)

Glad to see you like the way I handled things


I like to think this is ongoing, there will just be hiatuses from time to time.


Gotta savor this sort of thing


Definitely looking forward to that


It will definitely be a new experience for Tex to be the butt of some jokes


And I'm glad to hear it!



Lord Of Memory

Glad to hear you enjoy it!

Neo the Hybrid

Glad to hear it, I'm trying but college and laziness are bitches

The first choice

I can see where you're coming from, but I'm not sure if I would really be able to judge something like that.


Yeah, their gonna flip when they learn about the Alpha. As for the Cosmic Forces, Ivan will not have heard of them before, he is familiar with concepts like multiverse and multiple timelines, but he's not all-seeing or anything. Not sure about the Freelancers getting their own story arc, the Underworld doesn't like letting the dead roam the land of the living. Ivan was only able to get special permission because they're just going to be watching videos, and I do plan on involving at least some of the mini series.


Glad to hear you enjoy it!


I'll try!

x-the hedgehog

I'm doing my best


You really think so? Thanks! Yeah, it's going to be fun writing the reactions for that sort of stuff.




I'm trying to write, but college and I'm lazy…


It's a big cat. Y'know, like a lion


Trying, sorry!


They appreciate the gifts, too bad Wash had to detonate that E.M.P. Oh, and a sniper rifle isn't part of someone's personality.


I'm trying, sorry for the wait!

Sai Kunai Blade

Glad to see you enjoy it! And I have to say, I love Team SCRN and The Bat and the Blonde!


You must be new around these parts. WE DON'T DIE EVEN IF WE'RE KILLED!


It will certainly be interesting.


I try, man, I try.


Caboose isn't a Freelancer, Carolina is still alive (and so are the triplets if I recall), and I have nothing to go on for the personalities of any of the ones killed by Temple.

The first choice

Really sorry, but a four episode chapter will never happen simply because I would never be able to get motivated enough to do that much writing for a single chapter. Sorry.


They'll show up for a special episode.


Simmons has yet to actually poison one of Grif's meals, on the other hand, Grif left Simmons behind when there was a clear and present threat (a tank).




Glad to hear you think it's funny, BUT WE AIN'T DEAD YET


I believe this should answer your question, sorry for the wait.

Damn, eight whole pages of replies. I guess this is what I get for going on hiatus for so long… Oh, well. If you this story, be sure to Follow it so you can get notified when there's a new chapter. If you like my writing, be sure to give some of my other Fics a look-see. Be sure to leave a reply and let me know what you think, I'm always open to constructive criticism! This is FinchFlyingAce, formerly Finch Daemon, signing out! Peace!