So I was going to post this last Thursday but...I kind of forgot it was Honoka's birthday T.T Don't kill mehuhuhu I thought about updating my two other fanfics that day but I kind of...slept in T.T I'm sorry. I could have posted this that day too buT IT WAS HONOKA'S BIRTHDAY AND THIS IS ANGST BKNBVFDBB UNACCEPTABLE! So here I am, returning you guys from all the birthday fluffy goodness to full time angst by SpringSkies :-) Sorry.
It was a Sunday morning, meaning there was no school that day and anyone is free to do whatever they like to pass the time. For Honoka, she would've liked to be asleep and wake up later on but she cannot help but stare into her sleeping girlfriend's flawless face. She had woken up earlier to drink some water but when she came back she had trouble falling asleep (which was highly unlikely of her) so she ended up entertaining herself with a certain bluenette's features.
She would've wanted to wake the girl up and play but she was sure that Umi was tired especially after just coming back from her escort mission so she restrained herself from doing so. She looks cute when she's asleep anyway. Honoka chuckled at the thought.
Shifting to her side in a manner she was facing directly at Umi's unsuspecting face and bringing her arm up to rest her head in, she continued her one sided staring contest with Umi.
Her lips are so beautiful and plump, would she get mad if I stole a quick kiss? Honoka's eyes trail up to Umi's nose, she sounds so peacefully asleep, is she dreaming or something? Well, have a nice dream Umi-chan. Honoka thought before unconsciously pecking Umi's forehead and giggled. Umi-chan will never know hehe. She took her hand out and gently poked Umi's fluffy cheeks multiple times, Honoka smiled. So cute my Umi-chan.
"What are you doing Honoka?" her smile went flat from the sound of the supposed to be asleep girl's voice. "Ah..." Honoka internally sweatdropped. She looked up and saw Umi's slowly opening amber eyes. Her explanation got caught up in her throat as soon as she saw those beautiful brown orbs. Gods why did you have to make her so perfect.
Honoka's former panicked and mesmerized look turned into a teasing one, one she's sure was going to get her pushed off of her own bed. "I'm admiring a piece of art that is Sonoda Umi."
The said girl blinked for a few times before her ears and face turned crimson red, "W-What are you saying Honoka..." Umi turned away in embarrassment and at the same time to control her heart from beating out of her chest.
"I love you?" Honoka tilted her head slightly to add some innocence to her teasing smile. Her eyes widened momentarily when Umi brought a hand close to her face.
"Please stop saying things so shameless!" and so early in the morning too.
"I don't think it's shameless because it's the truth." the ginger head's eyebrows wiggled, God she was enjoying this. A flustered Umi is cute after all.
"Just shut your mouth for a minute- no shut your mouth for the whole day please."
"You don't really mean that you miss me, after all, ~" Honoka pounced onto her girlfriend's unsuspecting back and the girl shrieked doing her best to make Honoka's strong arms let go of her.
I do miss you just please don't attack me so suddenly in the morning. Cried Umi's mind. She continues writhing and wiggling out of the girl's grip but loss strength moments after as she found herself comfortable in Honoka's arms. Honoka noticed this and smiled. Playing was good, but a moment of silence and peacefulness (one they don't get so much often) with her lover was good too.
The door swung open and Honoka ran in in haste. She didn't mind the gunmen pointing automatic rifles at her but that doesn't mean she wants to die right this second. I still have to find her. "Get out of the way!" She angrily snarled and took out two pistols from her leg holsters before artistically dodging the quick bullets aimed at her. I'll be there soon.
"I'll have to go now Honoka." Umi settled her luggage down beside her and worriedly looked at her girlfriend who was sitting in a wheel chair. The girl had gotten terribly beaten up in her last extraction mission and now when the girl really needed her the most, she had to go on her own assignment. She felt guilty, "I'm sorry, I could go
Honoka smiled weakly and it made Umi feel guilty. "I'm sorry, I could go on another mission at a different time and take care of you instead. I-"
Her girlfriend shook her head lightly making her stop rambling on. Honoka placed her hands on the wheel before pushing it forward until she sat near Umi. Raising her uninjured arm out she lightly held onto Umi's hands. "You said this mission really needed you and...I don't want to be a hindrance to your career." the girl said in a soft tone which broke Umi's heart further. Honoka looked so weak and fragile that time and it made Umi regret ever bringing her into this business in the first place. Screw the mission.
Umi closes the door behind her catching Honoka off guard. With a smile, she said "Never think you're a hindrance to me Honoka." she bent down to lightly kiss the girl's forehead as she affectionately caressed the ginger head's cheek, "No matter how needed I am in this mission my first and foremost priority is you."
Honoka smiled, "I love you too Umi-chan."
Please let me get there in time! Honoka mentally screamed before she felt a bullet graze her midriff. She hisses in pain before taking out another clip and holstering it on her gun and shoot the remaining two agents. She clutches her wound and stands up. How many hours has she been fighting thugs just to reach here? She doesn't know but it doesn't matter.
Honoka looks forward, all those fighting enervated too much of her but she didn't care, taking small steps that turned to strides, ignoring the pain and aches all over her body, she runs to the door.
"Umi-chan?" Honoka broke the serene silence around the two resting lovers. They were sitting in such a way that Honoka sat in between Umi's legs and Umi's arms wrap around her waist and her own head resting on Umi's chest.
"Hm?" The girl responded. It was one of those times they didn't have any mission to go to and they could enjoy each other's company.
"I love you."...
The bluenette chuckled and tightened her grip around Honoka's waist. Resting her chin on the girl's shoulder she whispered, "I love you too Honoka."
The girl sighed as she wriggled a bit to find a more comfortable position, "Yeah I know that but sometimes-"
"Sometimes what?" Umi quickly cut her off out of fear that her bread-loving girlfriend is doubting her love for her.
"Let me finish." she lightly bumped her head onto Umi's soft cheeks. When she was sure that the girl won't interrupt her, at least for a bit she continued, "Sometimes I wonder if I'm loving you too much. All throughout the day all, I think about is you..."
Umi looks down at her and Honoka refused to look back knowing she will be lost into the girl's mesmerizing cool gaze, "How is she? Did she eat well? Wait, did she even eat at all?" Honoka continued on and on and Umi could only listen. She felt touched that Honoka, who's usually as dense as air, would worry about little things about her.
Honoka furrowed her eyebrows, "Could she be doing something right now? Should I call her?...those things never leave me even for a second a day."
"Sometimes I feel like writing down all the things I want to say to you at those times just so it won't bug me all night long..."
"Yet even if I do write those things down, I still can't fall asleep knowing you're out there risking your life. I cannot sleep whenever I ask myself 'Is she still safe?'." Umi was speechless. It was a rare thing when Honoka speaks about her feelings to the bluenette, the reason is always 'I don't want to worry you.' which Umi wants to beat her up for but when she does share it Umi realizes once again how much she meant to the ginger head.
Honoka removed herself in between of Umi's legs and sat beside the lying girl. She brought her tender hands and hovered them on her beautiful girlfriend's face. "The job we chose...it's not the safest one on the market and someday we might..." Umi's heart broke when Honoka's lips quivered as tears swell up around her eyes, "Always remember that my love for you surpasses death itself. Believe me when I say that Sonoda Umi." And with that Umi leans in and kissed Honoka fully on the lips. It was slow as they savored the moment, and each other, tasting the salty tears as they went on. It was a bittersweet moment for the two of them and it was as if their love for each other got stronger. Due to the need for air, the two of them separated, slightly out of breath.
"Me too Honoka."
Honoka opens the door hastily and saw the girl she had been looking for three months bound to the pillars of the main room.
"Honoka!" the owner of the name smiles and she runs to her lover, never minding the fact that her body was horribly decorated with cuts and grazes. Umi felt happy and at the same time mad at Honoka but the former ruled over the other at that moment. Seeing her dork after five months of being separated from each other, oh how she wished they reunited in a better situation. Honoka kneels down in front of her and kisses her forehead, "Are you okay?" she repeats over and over as tears of joy trickled down her face.
"You idiot...you knew this was a trap and you still came...why?" Umi looks down as she spoke those words. She wanted to be saved yes, by Honoka out of all people but at the same time, she wanted Honoka to be safe and well.
"Because it's you," Honoka replies sweetly. Any other time, Umi might have smacked her upside the head but hearing it again, especially in this situation, it made Umi's heart flutter and at ease.
Honoka pulled up the brakes and took a handkerchief from her pocket. "Wear this," she instructs her date.
Umi looked at the orange cloth for a second, "Why?" She thought they would go on an ordinary escapade like they usually do but Umi knew there was something off with Honoka and she cannot help but be nervous.
"Just wear it." the ginger head turns to her and pleads with her puppy dog eyes. One that Umi's sure would be the death of her. "F-Fine." the latter reluctantly agreed on much to Honoka's delight. The girl opened her door and went around the car to open Umi's.
"Do you trust me?" She didn't have to ask that but she just wanted to. A reaffirmation once in a while is not bad after all. "I do." the cerulean eyed smiles. "Okay, then let me lead you the way." Honoka placed her hand above Umi's and led the girl out of the car and walked.
Normally Umi would be quite patient to walk, heck she'd be the one to persuade Honoka into taking walks with her but being robbed of her sight made her a bit more tired than usual. Plus she didn't know where they would go and where they are in that matter, yet she didn't ask Honoka about it since she trusted this girl with her life and soul. They walked for a few steps more when Honoka suddenly slipped away of her grip making Umi panic.
"Honoka? Honoka?!" she was ready to remove her blindfold when she felt the girl's hands soothe her again. Umi sighed, "Geez, don't scare me like that!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now let's remove that." Honoka went behind Umi and undid the tie around her head. "You ready?"
"For what?" Umi asked before her vision returned to her and her mouth hung open. Standing in front of a grassy field at the side of a mountain, being basked in the moon's elegance and accompanied by the silent breeze of the wind was one thing Umi didn't see herself doing. Usually, on their escapades, they would go to something lively, a festival, an amusement park or whatever place you could see a Kousaka Honoka in they would go there. Umi admired the serenity and authenticity of nature and she loved every moment she stood there.
"Umi-chan." she breaks out of her trance and looks at her lover who had stood dangerously near the cliff. "What-" she stopped when Honoka raises a finger up.
Honoka looked completely serious and she took one glance at the cliff below her. All she could see were the top side of the trees but they were so far below and almost evanescent. A fall from this height, she knew she wouldn't be able to survive it so she asks, "If I were to fall right here, right now...how would you feel?"
The bluenette didn't respond immediately as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She imagined that situation when Honoka dies, how would she feel? Her heart became heavy and her eyes felt like crying.
"I would die along with you," she answered resolutely. Honoka fought back a smile and stepped a little backward, "Honoka!" Umi shouted, fearing for the girl's life.
"What if I told you that I don't want you to die soon after me? What if I told someone to make sure you don't die after me?"
"Doesn't matter," Umi answers quickly, "I'm dead inside by then anyway." she knew that if Honoka ever leaves or dies, Honoka will take a part with her. A part no one else can replace. "What is all this Honoka?"
The girl does not answer and instead leaves the side of the cliff much to Umi's relief. The girl sighs, "Thank God-" Honoka cuts her off by placing her lips on Umi's unprepared one. It was quick and chaste as Honoka knew she couldn't contain the nervousness and jitters in anymore. "I would do the same."
"If you were to ever die before me...I...I won't be able to live anymore. I won't ever meet someone as great as you, as beautiful as you and someone so much as you. You know how stubborn I am and I doubt I would even last a week without you out there alive...Say, when I left you when you were blindfolded, how did you feel?"
"Alone. It felt as if everything was robbed from me. I was scared." Umi admits shyly.
Honoka smiles at the answer, "It's the same for me. Without you, I'll be swallowed in by darkness. You are my light Umi-chan, the one who makes sure I don't stray from myself. I love you for that. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth. I would go through all those problems and quarrels we've gone through before if it would mean us holding each other's hands and continuing to face our battles together in the future... I would travel through the harshest weathers and troubled waters if it meant me coming home to you. I would go through all the corny jokes and antics I've done just to see you smile and laugh because of me. I would still love you in the next life, and the next one and the next one after that just to live my eternity in your arms. I would give you all the stars in the galaxy if it meant that...you would say yes to me all over again...," Honoka stops to catch her breath and prepare herself for her next words. She didn't realize that she and Umi were already crying, knowing what Honoka will say, "I know that our job is unpredictable but when all of this is over...I'll...what I'm saying is...Sonoda Umi, will you marry me?" the shorter girl kneels down on one knee and opens a royal blue box that presented a silver ring decorated with one big diamond in the middle and two at the sides.
It was glimmering in Umi's eyes and the thin gold lining around the band made it much more elegant than it is.
Umi didn't have to think for an answer because she already knew it. She would always say yes to her adorable dork. "Yes,"
"Nice little reunion," the two girl's froze when a man stepped out of the shadows. "Too bad it will both be your last,"
Honoka leaves Umi's side and stands feets away from Umi's captor, "You..." she snarls and takes out her gun from her holster and points it at the man.
"A-ah~" the man playfully shakes his head and takes out a remote from his vest's pockets, "Pull the trigger and she dies."
The ginger head whips her head back at Umi and saw how she failed to notice the beeping red light around the girl's neck. "You bastard!"
He smirks, how he loved to play these little games so much, "I'll let you go if...you decide to play around a little bit."
"This is not a game." the ginger head badly wanted to kill this guy but knowing that one flick of his finger, Umi will die. It was already useless.
"It's not," he pushes a button on the remote and Umi drops, "It's war." Honoka's face pales. "Now let's make a deal."
Umi squinted her eyes as her eyes had trouble adjusting around her. She hissed, "What the hell?" she looked down at herself and found out she was wearing a gown, a hospital gown to be precise. Her midriff and head ached and so were other parts of her body that were beaten up during her last mission.
"Umi-chan?" the latter swished her head to the side to be greeted by an awakening Kousaka Honoka. "Yeah?"
Honoka stopped short from rubbing her eyes as it widened and she stood up in shock. The girl that had been asleep for three months was talking back to her. In cheer and glee that her girlfriend finally awoke tears of joy, sadness and longing fell down her face like an open faucet.
The girl sobs before jumping into her unprepared lover's arms. For Umi, it hurt a lot because of her treated wounds but it was worth it. She shuts her eyes and returns Honoka's hug tenderly, letting the slight wheeze of the air conditioner and the light shining through the window accompany them in silence and in tears.
Honoka felt arms wrap around her waist and small trembling behind her. "Now that I've released agent Sonoda here don't you think it's about time you return the favor, Kousaka?"
"What do you want?" the ginger head held Umi's hand that was in front of her and caressed it. She knew how scared Umi was right now, especially knowing that this man is more dangerous and intelligent than they were so she did her best and whispered to Umi over and over about how it's going to be alright and they were going to get out of there...even though she knew it was unlikely.
Sensing that Umi managed to calm down Honoka looks back at the man, "What is it you want?"
"Simple," he smiles before taking out his katana.
Umi hid behind a crater and peeked an eye out at her surroundings. Three guns shoot at her direction and she managed to dodge just in time. She looked down at her own, I don't have any more clips and I'm completely surrounded, she leans her head back on the wooden crate that she knew won't protect her any longer if she stayed there. I can't give up, she reached inside her vest and took out the ring that was hanging from a silver band.
"I want to always stay nearest to your heart even if we're far away from each other." She grits her teeth and shuts her eyes tight. I can't-
Seven quick shots were fired and Umi closed her eyes, the noise behind her died down and she heard seven bodies falling down on the ground simultaneously. Peeking out once she was surprised that in front of her was the girl she had been thinking of prior to this moment.
"Let's get you out of here." Honoka smiles and sweeps Umi off her feet and ran to the nearest exit.
"Aren't you supposed to be on your mission right now?" the bluenette asks as she looks behind her to see if anyone was chasing them.
"I was! But when I came back to the HQ I overheard that your team had fallen so I drove all the way here!"
Umi's eyes widened and hit Honoka on her head, "Ow! What was that for?!"
"You were overspeeding again!? Honoka how many times have I told you to obey the road rules!"
Honoka looks at her incredulously as they stopped a little far away from the enemy base, "Hey! I'd break all the laws in the world if I have to for you, you know."
Umi blushed but nevertheless stood her ground, "Sweet-talking won't cut it."
"Or does it?" Honoka wriggles her eyebrows playfully.
The taller huffs, how quick were they to recover from running away to playful teasing, "Shut up."
"Umi-chan's in denial~"
"O-Oi Umi-chan that's my bike! Wait!"
"Kill the other and the other walks away alive."
"What?" the two girls say in unison.
"If you two still wish to leave this place you could take your partner with you...lifeless of course and since Sonoda here is at a disadvantage...here." he throws his katana at Umi which the girl took.
She looked at it, I-I'll kill Honoka with this? she felt sick in her stomach when she thought of it and threw the blade far away from her, "I'll never!" she shouts and hugs Honoka again. She wanted this nightmare to end quickly. She wanted to be back in their home and live their lives away from the agency. She wanted to be normal again.
Honoka, on the other hand, was in a dilemma, she wanted to live, they both wanted to live...but...
She raises her gun on her hand and points it at her head. I love you Umi-chan. and points it at Umi and pulls the trigger.
"Say...when this is all over..." Honoka caresses Umi's hair locks, letting the beautiful locks of blue slide off her hand like silk. "We'll get married?"
The resting girl hums as she lets herself get comfortable in Honoka's laps.
"Then what will we do from that?"
Umi opens her eyes and stares at her girlfriend - fiancee, "What do you want to do?"
The ginger head brings a hand to her chin in a thinking motion, "I want to buy a house, not a big one, just one that would fit us and our..." she brings out her two hands and counts, "seven children." Umi chokes on her saliva at the aforementioned number, "Honoka! That's too many!" her cheeks were blushing furiously at the thought.
"What? I heard that it was already possible to make babies with the same-sex so why not?" Honoka gasps, "then we'd have to think about who will carry our baby...Umi-chan you do it."
Again Umi responds with a "What?!"
"Why not? I'll be papa Honoka." she points at herself innocently.
Umi sits up, "Since when did you become...become...the male one here!" Umi didn't bother to think of her choice of words and stares at the seemingly dumb (or really dumb) lover she has.
"You're going to be a Kousaka right...?"
"But you agreed to marry me!" Honoka pouts like a child and crosses her arms under her chest.
"I did! But!" Umi cannot think straight anymore, what started as shameless thoughts ended up with more shameless thoughts.
"Or...do you want me to be called Sonoda Honoka?" Umi's face turned a red shade darker.
"Hi, this is my wife Honoka."
"Nice to meet you I'm Sonoda Honoka."
Umi was brought out of her (shameless) mind's imaginations when Honoka gasps at her, "You're imagining it!"
The bluenette denies the accusations (that were true).
Honoka leaves the bed and dances wildly, chanting the words, "You were imagining it~" over and over again causing the subject of Honoka's teasing to dip her face in the comfort of her pillow.
"You're not denying it anymore~" Honoka continues on as she points her accusatory finger on the huddled figure on the bed.
"You're going to be mama Umi~ I'll be papa~" she continues singing.
"So we won't have children?" Honoka stops singing as she returns to her 'defeated' look.
Umi knew this but felt a bit guilty, "Fine...but only one...okay?"
"Seven!" Honoka fights back.
"Why~ it's not like it'll be the first time we'll be doing it right?~" Honoka smiles teasingly.
The archer turns away and from the top of her lungs screamed, "S-Shameless!"
The man stood back completely amused at Honoka who has continued shooting at her fiancee.
"Honoka!" the aforementioned fiancee shouted as she dodged another bullet fired by her own lover. "Snap out of this now!"
Honoka did not listen anymore as she readied another clip and shot a little more to the right than where Umi was standing in. I just need to continue playing. Continue playing. she reminds herself as she purposely misses all her shots.
Umi stops when she steps on something hard. She looks down and saw the katana she had thrown earlier on. She looks in front of her again and saw Honoka continuing to send bullets towards her. She takes the katana and gripped on its handle firmly, "Honoka! Snap out of it!" she felt the tears cascade her cheeks as she struggles to keep a firm grip on the katana. She was shaking...shaking from all the pain she felt that moment.
"Honoka!" She shouts again, "What are you doing?!"
"Do you not love me anymore?!" she cries harder as she stares at the girl who had confessed to her, who proposed to her and who 'used' to love her.
Honoka started crying too. She tried so hard to look indifferent so her acting would pass. She wanted to say that it wasn't that at all. She still loved her and she never meant to hurt her. Yet she already did when she started to 'shoot' at Umi. Umi was hurting because of her. Honoka hated herself for that. Her plan had gone along well then...it was now the final act of her show. But she had to make a last minute change. One last hug from her girl.
Honoka takes out her gun and runs straight at Umi and closes her eyes.
"This is my last mission in the agency." Umi said to me when we're about to bid goodbye again. Umi-chan and I already told our agency that we were going to leave after this mission and they had agreed. One last mission and everything will be over. I held her hand that was on my cheek as I already started missing her warmth. Yes...I cannot help it. I hope everything goes well.
"Then we'll get married." I continue.
Umi-chan leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. I loved her forehead kisses and it was an added bonus that I was shorter than her so she gets to do it often. "We will." she removes her hand from mine and carries her luggage, "I'll be going then."
"Be safe." I smiled sadly. I love you. Those words I failed to say that time...I wanted to say more...and more..-
"Honoka?" I look back up and saw Umi-chan in front of me again, didn't she just leave?
I stare at her as she stroked her cheek lightly, "Where's my goodbye kiss?" she says bashfully through tinted cheeks. I smile. Umi-chan never left without me kissing her cheek...and I never left without kissing hers.
I tiptoed and whispered, "I love you." before I placed my lips on hers.
I wish I never let you go that time... Honoka thought as she stares at her guarded lover, I wish I knew that there was no last mission to begin with...that all of this was a trap. She reminisces all the fun times they had, all the fights they had...all about her Umi she'll never see again. I wish you'll forgive me when we see each other in the future. I wish I could have said all those things I've written. I wish we could have more time together.
As Honoka neared Umi she started to loosen her hold of her gun and Umi notices this and lowers her katana. She never means to harm you. She never means to harm you.
No! Umi was about to throw the katana again when Honoka points the gun back at her and out of reflex she raises the katana again and in a quick blink of an eye. Honoka hugged her.
"Honoka?" she calls out the girl's name again. That moment it felt like the girl was not the one who tried to 'kill' her off earlier.
"You're...not...hurt...right...?" the girl whispers lightly in her ear. It was so light that Umi felt it was flowing in her ears. Her eyes widen.
"What?" she looks down and she felt her grip on the handle. Huh?
"You're going to be okay right?" Honoka gasps.
"Huh?" Umi stares at the blood dripping off her katana. Huh?
"You'll...live well for me right?" Don't. This cannot be.
"Why..." she started crying again. No! It can't be!
"I'm sorry we had to end this way Umi-chan." Honoka cannot contain her tears anymore as she struggles to breathe.
"No...don't say that." Umi cried harder as she hugged the girl back. Afraid that Honoka will disappear into thin air.
"But my time is running out." Honoka felt light headed and dizzy. I guess this is the end now. I don't want it to end. I don't want us to end.
"Don't say it!" Umi shouts as she clutched the dying girl's weakened frame. This can't be! Damn it! We were supposed to live together after this! We were...we were...
"I'm sorry for leaving you so early." No! It hurts. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. Please. Gods let me relieve everything! I'll make things right! I don't want this. I don't like this. Honoka cried through all the pain and surge of emotions she felt. She wanted to hug Umi but she was tired. It was time for her to say goodbye. A time she wished never came. Ah...I forgot something. Goodbye kiss. She raises her head, albeit trying to so she took out her hand and brought Umi near her and kissed the girl. One last time. This moment had a lot of 'one last time' to it. One last time to kiss, speak, caress and finally to breathe. I had a lot more things to say, to do with you...but I guess for now I'll be waiting for you...until we meet again Umi-chan...
"Stay as you are...Umi-chan..." Honoka weakly smiled before her hand fell limp on her side and her head slumped on Umi's shoulders. Feeling the loss of the girl's movements Umi cried harder. The hardest she had ever done in her life. She didn't cry this much when her family abandoned her because Honoka was there. She didn't cry this much when their friends didn't approve of her job because Honoma was there. All the times she was supposed to feel alone, Honoka was now, here she is wailing and tightening her grip on the still body of her fiancee and...she wasn't there. There was no one to go to, no one to light the darkness that is her future and no one to call her 'love'.
"Honoka!" She screams in agony and sadness. Sadness over a lost love.
Okay this isn't my best work honestly. I rushed it a bit but I hope you guys enjoyed it...even if a little bit T.T