Just a (hopefully) funny idea that I had after playing Disgaea 2 PC for the first time. Read, review and enjoy. Yes, The Fuka and Desco Show happened.
Confusion. That would be the best way to describe Adell's current emotions. He had no idea what was going on or why he was where he was right now. Well, he knew "why": Rozalin had asked him to "face a very important challenge" with her. Of course, he had expected a battle, some sort of riddle or at least something silly like cleaning out their house. Instead the two had ended up sitting in a circle in a weird, metal room in some "pocket Netherworld" with a bunch of people. People he had hardly had any story interaction with.
There was the spooky vampire guy with his manservant, a girl with a Prinny hat, some green-haired pretty-boy, a purple-haired girl with skulls in her hair and, of course, Rozalin, who had taken a seat next to him.
"So, what's up with this?" he asked after the others had stared at him for a bit. "You guys obviously don't want to fight, so what is this challenge about?"
"Beats me!" the Prinny-girl sighed. "I was promised sweets!"
"Adell, this is not a challenge in a martial way." Rozalin said seriously "This is a personal challenge. I have asked these kind people to help you overcome it."
Adell sighed. "You know that I don't like dragging people into my issues. That just ain't my style! And what could be so difficult that I need a full room of strangers for it?"
"I'd like to know that as well!" the werewolf snarled "Hades doesn't run itself and my Lord has better to do than sit here and-"
"That's enough, Fenrich! This is an important matter! I, Valvatorez have decided to help this lad with his great challenge! It is my obligation, no, my duty!" The vampire stressed dramatically.
"How many sardines did she promise you, my Lord?"
"Five wheelbarrows, but don't change the subject! We are here, we will help!"
"All is for my Lord!"
"Are you idiots done? Can't we get this over with?" the purple-haired girl growled.
"What a colourful cast… so, what's this about?" Adell asked after a sigh.
"Adell, this is an intervention. I have asked, bribed and blackmailed these fine people here to help you come to terms with an important part of yourself!" Rozalin explained gently.
"And what would that be?"
"Your demonhood, Adell. You keep on pretending to be a human when it's getting so obvious that you are, in fact, a demon!"
Adell's face fell. "What? That silly theory again? Look, Rozalin, I'm human and that's that!"
"FOOL!" Valvatorez yelled, standing up "You are obviously more than a mere human! You have fought countless demons with your bare hands, survived places that no human could dream to walk in and you are a protagonist in the Disgaea series where all leads are demons! If you were a human, you'd be in Soul Nomad or something!"
"Oh, what keen observation, my Lord!" Fenrich sighed with adoration. "Nobody could argue against such fourth-wall shattering conclusions! Certainly we can leave now an-"
"Woah! Stop right there!" Adell interrupted "Look, we all know that human heroes are usually inexplicably stronger than regular humans. And with my game, they were obviously still trying to find their groove and tried something different for a change."
"I think you all see why I need your help." Rozalin sighed.
"It seems Adell is in deep denial." Christo nodded. "But frankly, it should be easy to find out about his true nature." He pushed up his glasses a bit "As we all can see, all of us have long, pointy ears, except for the young Prinny."
"I'm not a Prinny!"
"Don't waste your time, just go with it." Fenrich sighed.
"In any case, Adell's ear-shape should give us an obvious clue about his heritage."
Adell visually sunk into his chair. "That's… not a good idea."
"Nonsense! It's the quickest and best way to be certain!" Valvatorez announced "Just push up that mess you call hair and let's be done with it."
"I'm really uncomfortable with this…" Adell sighed. "Especially with innocent children around!"
"There is nothing innocent about this child!" Christo and Fenrich said simultaneously, earning a glare from Majorita and Fuka respectively.
Adell sighed. "Fine… but don't blame me." He closed his eyes and pulled his hair back. He could hear two gasps and quiet shock.
"Adell…" Rozalin whispered shakily. "I never…"
Adell looked her in the eyes. "Look, my quarrel with Elenor left a bit more than that one scar on my face. Those things are not gonna tell anyone if I'm human or a demon."
"And it would only tell us that he isn't human." Fuka added "I mean, Artina is an angel and she has regular ears."
"Yes! Angels have short round ears!" Christo agreed eagerly. "That's why everyone who isn't Fuka in here has them!"
"We get it, Christo!" Majorita groaned "You're a demon and those horns are not from the 2HL-store."
"Why are you here again?"
"Because Usalia though it would be a good lesson for me to try and help a stranger. And because she enjoys seeing me suffer!"
"Angels and motivations aside, I would like to come back to Adell's problem." Rozalin interrupted "Since his ears are… not a factor, are there any other ways to prove that he a demon?"
"Look, does it really matter that much?" Adell asked with a groan. "I mean, it's not like I'd change if I was a demon."
"I agree with him!" Fuka said quickly "Doesn't matter if he's human or demon, it's all part of my dream anyways!"
"I will repeat myself: Don't encourage her to explain herself. It will lead to suffering beyond your wildest imagination!" Fenrich hissed.
"No, Fenrich! I think the lass' current predicament is a good example!" Valvatroez pondered "You see, Adell, it is important to know your place in the greater scheme of things. Humans have duties that demons do not and vice versa! Demons exist to spread fear and terror within humans! To nurture the Netherworlds, so the cycle of rebirth can begin again and again. Humans, on the other hand, exist to produce fear energy through terror and piety energy through devotion!"
"You mean awe energy!" Christo added. "At least, so I heard!"
"You might as well go around and introduce yourself with –Hi, I'm Christo and not an angel!-!" Majorita chuckled.
"Whatever the case, you have to know and fulfil your role!" Valvatorez continued "Without a place and a purpose, you would be adrift the sea of fate without map or compass! You would be like the lass over here!" he pointed as Fuka who crossed her arms in annoyance "Always rejecting destiny without guide or guidance! It was her purpose and fate to become a Prinny, to work 20 hours a day with one sardine a day as payment and say "dood" in every line! But what has her insubordination brought her? She has led a path of carnage and destruction to deny herself the joy of rebirth, was rejected by demons and angels alike and now rules the Galaxy with her sister, eternally young and healthy, powerful enough to indulge in her every whim and desire!" The vampire's eyes narrowed "Is this what you want? It's sickening!"
"My Lord, how astonishing is your talent to completely and utterly miss your own point."
"Hey, I would never do that!" Adell stressed. "I don't wanna rule the galaxy!"
"I agree… Adell would maybe beat up god to see who is stronger, but certainly not stay behind to rule anything…" Rozalin added.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Are you saying that I'm irresponsible?"
"No, that you are a battle maniac!"
"Well, you wouldn't be happy if I solved all my problems non-violently." Adell said with a smirk.
Rozalin's face flushed red. "ADELL! I swear when this is over I-"
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Fuka yelled "Are you two… a couple?"
Now Adell joined Rozalin in blushing.
Meanwhile, Fuka's face contorted into a twisted grin.
"Wonderful… the lass smelled blood. May I suggest we take our cyanide now?" Fenrich groaned.
"OH! Throw me a bone, FenFen! Valzy is so slow to seal the deal with either you or Artina, I need some love! And just look at those two! The subtle chemistry, the deep trust, the concern and gentle playfulness! I totally ship them!"
"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH-"
"Just endure it, Fenrich. Maybe the lass does find those two more to her liking and leaves us in peace."
"First of all! I have no intention to be "shipped"!" I am a princess and I don't travel inside a box!" Rozalin yelled "Second: We are not a single step closer to solving Adell's issue! You are supposed to help me!"
"For damnation's sake!" Majorita let out a groan "Just do this logically! Does this idiot have an overload skill?"
"No/Yes" Adell and Rozalin said respectively. Then they looked at each other.
"I don't!" Adell stressed.
"Certainly, you do! I saw it myself! Whenever you enter Revenge Mode, you suddenly have an amazing burst of both strength and speed! It's undeniable, Adell! It is the power of an Overlord!"
"No, it's not! It's just… you know… a heroes' resolve!" Adell explained "Yes! When humans reach their limit, they can access their tru-"
"Certainly no!" Fenrich interrupted "The lass has unlocked the full potential of the human soul… through sheer stupidity, but still. And yet, she doesn't have access to an Overload!"
"Well, I'm also the only one who resisted fake-Zenon's curse! So I'm probably some kind of chosen one!"
"We truly are at a conundrum…" Christo said calmly "My clairvoyance can only detect the huge amounts of energy coming from Adell, but I can also feel massive power coming from the not-Prinny."
"Can't we just kill him and see if he turns into a Prinny?" Majorita asked with a grin.
"Whoa! Isn't that defeating the purpose here?" Adell raised his hands defensively.
"I agree!" Valvatorez added "Someone like Adell wouldn't become a Prinny. He is obviously a noble and loyal soul, burning with righteous justice and deep kindness. Someone like him would never end up as a mere Prinny."
"Watch out, Fenfen, Artina and you might get competition."
"Only a lowly sinner like the lass would ever be cursed to serve as a prinny." Valvatorez finished.
"Valzy! That was uncalled for!"
"May I remind you that you led an invasion of THE ENTIRE GALAXY, lass?" Fenrich asked annoyed.
"Wait! If this buffoon really rules the galaxy, why haven't any of us heard of that?" Majorita asked.
"Multiverse-theory, dimensional overlapping, our game is a prequel… there are many ways to explain it away." Christo explained quickly "But back to the topic… we are still not closer to the truth of Adell's nature. "
"Who cares? I want to hear more about their relationship!" Fuka said eagerly "Just look at them! The rugged yet caring diamond in the rough, baked in the fire of his own passion, in love with the icy princess from and ivory tower! I am so into this!"
"Well, someone read up on her fanfiction…" Adell commented.
Rozalin meanwhile seemed to boil over. "I will not discuss my relationships with you or anyone here! A Lady enjoys with discretion! And just because you are somewhat prophetically close, doesn't mean that I will reveal anything!"
"Well, it's settled then, Adell's a human!" Fuka added, completely ignoring Rozalin.
"Wait, what?" Rozalin asked, trying to turn her brain around.
"How did you arrive at that conclusion?" Christo asked carefully.
"Quiet, Fenfen!" Fuka said with a smile "Adell is obviously a human because that makes their love more dramatic and poetic! A cold, icy demon's heart, set ablaze by the fire of a lowly human! It has everything! Conflict, drama, love… yes, it's settled, Adell is a human!"
"This isn't a vote!" Rozalin yelled "I wanted you to find ou-"
"No, it's not a vote! This is my dream and what I say goes!" Fuka interrupted.
"You should not argue with her." Valvatorez sighed "If there is one thing that the lass excels at, it is subjecting the world around her to her whim."
"You are amazingly lenient for a galactic ruler…" Majorita said with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, I know those two just too well." Fuka smiled "It's their way of expressing affection."
"It is not!" Fenrich snarled.
"See! Total Tsundere!"
"I will do unspeakable things to you, lass!"
"Anyways, it's decided and we are done!" Fuka decided with a broad smile "I will keep in touch, Rozalin. Sure, discretion and all, but maybe a bit of girl-talk will make you relax a little."
"You are a strange one…" Rozalin sighed "Why did you even come here for a few treats if you rule the galaxy?"
"Oh, it's good to get out from time to time. And spending some time with Valzy and Fenfen always cheers me up."
Rozalin nodded. "Well… it didn't accomplish much, but thank you for your cooperation. The payments are on their way."
Fenrich and Valvatorez were the first to leave. Fuka left second, followed by Christo and Majorita.
"Can I go now too, Rozalin?" Adell asked with a sigh.
"No, you are going to treat me for dinner! Do you have any idea how hard it was to get six wheelbarrows to Hades?"
"Six? Didn't you promise him five?"
"I needed one to distract the Prinnies with."
Outside, Christo let his curiosity get the better of him. Looking after Fuka, he caught a glimpse of the portal that opened to her homeworld. For a second, he could see Celestia, dozens of angels in maid and butler outfits polishing statues of Fuka's likeness. And just for a second, he looked at a very familiar face, wearing a dog-collar and little else.
Majorita's voice tore him from his terror. "Good that you're not an angel, right Christo?"
Christo crossed his fingers. "Please be Multiverse!"