Sunday morning brunch came to an abrupt halt when JJ received a call from Hotch alerting them to a new case. The two agents bid their goodbyes to Will and Henry before dashing off to the bureau. They were the last to arrive to the conference room and quickly took their seats as Penelope started introducing the case to the team. Before they knew it, they had flown to a small town in Michigan, worked a long day, and returned to the last three rooms the hotel had to offer. Morgan and Reid retreated to their room for the night. Immediately, Spencer was on the phone. Morgan only needed one guess as to who he was calling. His thoughts were confirmed when a smile graced Spencer's features and he greeted Trey. Morgan did his best to ignore the conversation as he set out his clothes for the next day and took out his toothbrush and pajamas. He was pulled back into the conversation when he heard his name.
"Yeah, that's what I said Morgan and I are sharing here, the hotel was almost completely booked. … No Trey, come on it's no big deal. It's not like we're sharing a bed. … Trey calm down, you met him, Morgan is the straightest man I know." Reid was arguing with his partner. Morgan jumped when Reid gestured towards him, holding out the phone. "Morgan tell him you're not gay." Morgan quirked an eyebrow at Reid, but took the phone.
"We're working a case Trey. And I'm not gay…" He hesitated before looking directly into Reid's eyes as he spoke his next words. "I'm bi. Bye." He clicked the phone shut and tossed it on the bed behind him. Reid's jaw went slack and he was straight up staring at Derek. Morgan held his gaze for a minute before he went back to unpacking his things as Reid's phone started to ring from the bed. He headed towards the bathroom. He was almost there when Reid caught his arm stopping him, letting the phone on the bed ring.
"Wait!" Reid burst out. His face was still alarmed with shock and possibly a shadow of anger. Morgan just met his wide eyes, but didn't speak.
"Why would you do that?!" Reid finally burst out. Morgan shook off his hand and gave him a questioning look.
"Why did I do what?" He asked the now mysteriously angry man in front of him. Reid was fuming.
"Why would you lie to purposely make him mad?" He shouted. Morgan's gaze intensified.
"I wasn't lying," he deadpanned. Spencer's face clouded in pure confusion as he tried to sort out the scene in front of him. Morgan turned and left the confused man to his thoughts as he entered the bathroom. He barely had the chance to unbutton his work shirt and pull it off when Spencer started pounding on the door.
"Morgan! Morgan, open the door! We need to talk about this!" Spencer yelled through the closed door. Morgan unlocked the door and Spencer's determined face turned bright red as he took in his friends naked torso.
"Oh, uhm, sorry, I, uh.." the younger man stammered, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
"What do you want to talk about Spencer?" Morgan questioned him tersely. Reid dropped his hand as his face morphed into that of a hurt puppy.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly. Morgan shrugged as his body tensed.
"Wasn't relevant," he turned away hoping to end the conversation there. Instead, Reid followed him into the bathroom. The younger man's shock was overwhelmed by anger again.
"It wasn't relevant!" He fumed. "Two weeks ago, I thought you would hate me forever for being gay. I TOLD you that, and you being bi wasn't relevant! I think that's something I deserved to know Morgan!"
Morgan spun around to face him casually leaning against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest, glowering.
"No Reid, it wasn't relevant because MY sexual preference has nothing to do with how I view you and your sexual preference. I didn't need to tell you at all, should I not have brought it up?" He drilled Spencer.
"No! But you shouldn't have brought it up just to piss off my boyfriend! What does that say about me, huh? I'm only good enough for your secrets when it bolsters you?" Reid's eyes flashed dangerously.
"Come on, man, you know I trust you," Derek interrupted him.
"Do I Derek? Because it seems to me like you're just trying to get in the way of my relationship because you don't like Trey. Well guess what? He's not going anywhere Derek, I love him! He's my best friend!" The "not you" that wasn't spoken rang throughout the small bathroom. Morgan guarded his features quickly but not before Spencer caught a glimpse of the hurt he had caused.
"Is that so." Morgan deadpanned, straightening from his spot near the sink.
"Morgan, I…" Reid started to apologize. He knew he'd gone too far. He hadn't meant what he'd said, but he was pissed at Morgan. He didn't get a chance to finish as Morgan grabbed his discarded shirt off the bathroom floor and stalked out of the room, letting the door slam behind him.
"Shit." Spencer ignored his phone as it continued to ring as he collapsed onto his bed and buried his face in his hands.
When Morgan returned to their room a half an hour later the lights were off, and he assumed Reid was asleep. He changed his clothes and brushed his teeth before returning to the bedroom. He watched Spencer for a minute, noting how stiff he lay, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I know you're not sleeping," Morgan stated giving the young genius a light shove.
"Yes, I am," Spencer's voice was muffled by the comforter.
"Reid, Spencer, please just listen to me, I'm sorry," Morgan told him pulling the comforter away from his face.
"You're sorry?" Spencer jerked to look at him incredulously. Morgan nodded.
"You're right, I don't like Trey, but I shouldn't rile him and I'm sorry," He confessed. Spencer's face dropped.
"Oh, yeah," he mumbled.
"But more importantly, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'm bi. It's not very common knowledge. I've never even told Penelope, but I know she suspects." Spencer perked up again, his face confused this time.
"But…" Morgan held up his hand cutting him off.
"I didn't tell anyone because I'm ashamed and, and I'm scared of what I am." He admitted not meeting Spencer's eyes. "I just, I…" Morgan had to talk a moment to compose himself and Spencer gave him space as he did. "I know that there's nothing wrong with it, but, I can't…" Morgan buried his face in his hands before meeting Spencer's eyes with tears in his own.
"What if Buford made me this? What if he, he knew something about me…" Reid bolted upright and pulled his friend into his arms.
"Oh Derek, no, just because you find men attractive now, that doesn't mean anything." Reid grabbed Derek by the shoulders and pushed him away, so he could look him in the eye. "Even if you were gay then, that doesn't give him any right to touch you. You told me before and you were right, Buford was a sick old man. Derek, you didn't ask for any of this, none of it was your fault, okay?" Tears streamed down Morgan's face and he harshly wiped them away. He gave a terse nod as he continued to wipe at his face. Reid grabbed his hands away from his raw cheeks.
"Hey," Reid said softly. Morgan let his head hang and wouldn't look at Reid. Reid pulled him into a hug again. "Hey, you're okay. Everything's gonna be fine. I won't tell anyone, I'll help you, I'm here," he consoled Morgan.
"I'm sorry," Morgan said pulling away, laughing at himself a little. "It's really, it's not a big deal, I don't even date men anymore." Reid gave him a puzzled look. "I did, for a while, in college, had a boyfriend for almost two years. But…" He grew quiet as he explained. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky with emotion.
"I always felt like I was a puppet. Like I had to have sex to make him happy. I didn't enjoy myself, I felt like I was playing a role. I really enjoyed the time we had together, but the sex. It was always forced. I was never there, I'd go to that happy place in my mind, I'd feel ashamed and guilty afterwards. I finally realized I was still being a victim, so I left him. Buford…" Morgan's voice caught in his throat. "Buford scarred me. Every time I'm with a man I feel like I'm being abused all over again, even when I'm in control of the situation. I can't stop thinking I'm making someone feel the way I did when he forced me. So, I keep my distance from men. I can appreciate an attractive figure when I see one, but I don't go after them anymore." Derek's voice dropped so Reid had to strain to hear his next words.
"I can't stand them touching me." The room was quiet as Spencer processed everything Derek said. Suddenly, Morgan was nearly thrown off the bed as Spencer scrambled into a little ball near the headboard.
"Why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry!" He burst out eyes wide. Morgan met him with a similarly shocked face, confused by what was happening.
"What are you talking about?" Morgan asked.
"I just, I was just trying to comfort you. I didn't know, I would have stopped if you told me. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Reid babbled on.
"Reid, calm down." Morgan ordered. He grabbed Reid's hand closing the space between them. "You don't bother me. I mean, I don't mind. You, it's different…"
"Are you afraid of me?" Reid asked fear evident in his voice. Morgan could swear he saw his friend's eyes glistening with unshed tears in the dim lighting.
"What? No! Spencer, no, of course not, you're my best friend. I told you, I trust you." Derek tried to calm him.
"You'd tell me if I did something wrong, right?" Spencer was so worried Morgan could see it clear on his features. He grabbed Spencer's other hand as well and squeezed them in his own.
"Reid, I told you, it's different with you, I, I know you," Morgan desperately tried to reassure his friend. "I know you would never hurt me on purpose…" He trailed off. Reid made a sound of desperation and tried to pull away from him. Morgan rolled his eyes.
"No, Reid, come on, you wouldn't on accident either. Look unless you like tried to come on to me or something, we're good okay?" Reid stilled and met Morgan's gaze.
"Derek you're like twice my size, you could easily pin me in any situation," He phrased it like a question.
"I know, but I'd still probably be afraid of you," Derek admitted. As he spoke his net words Reid's face showed just how vulnerable he really was. Morgan could see every ounce of desperation, sadness, and anxiety in the younger man's face as he spoke.
"I would never force you… Derek, I would never hurt you," Reid's voice was almost pleading. Morgan tried to unshield his face, so Spencer could see how desperately he wanted to believe him.
"I know…" He answered softly, meeting Reid's eyes trying to apologize that it wasn't enough. Reid could see it, he knew Morgan didn't want to disappoint him, but he would still be afraid. Reid cupped Morgan's distraught face and gave him a small smile.
"It's okay," Spencer reassured him. Morgan gave him a small smile back before moving into his own bed and reaching for the light.
"Goodnight Spence," he called.
"G'night Morgan," Reid called back as he shuffled down into the covers. Morgan had no idea just how long Spencer lay awake pondering over his revelation.
Hi All, I apologize for such a long break between updates! I am on my final semester of college! Woo! I have a bit more time this semester so hopefully I'll get posting more regularly! Thank you so much to everyone reading! Special thanks to those that nominated me for the Profiler's Choice Awards 2017 for Best Morgan/Reid story and Best Characterization of Derek Morgan! Thank you so much! If you want to vote for me to win, visit the Profiler's Choice Awards 2017 Forum and vote before February 28th! Thanks again! I appreciate your reviews, they keep me motivated!