Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto

Honestly, I've read and enjoyed some wonderfully crafted Crack!fiction stories, and as fair warning, if you've enjoyed my attempt at canon compliance of my other works, this story may not be for you. This loosely (and I do mean loosely) follows events in my other story, "The Moment." As you will soon see, this story's genre couldn't fit under the romance category, so it was posted on its own. Experimentation in this realm was a result from a one shot request by Tuvstarr's lost heart, Wintry Leen, and wingedmercury. I'm pretty sure this wasn't what they were expecting, but here goes!

Eloping would be so much easier, Sakura tried to explain to Sasuke, but her words just seemed to fall on deaf ears. Sakura, come with me, was all he said, before slipping on his sandals and heading out her front door.

Sasuke rarely if ever asked anything of her, and as the seconds passed, guilt slowly tipped the scales in his favor. Before she thought much more on it, she ran over to catch up with him, and silently walked beside him as he made his way down the road.

But as they slowly approached her childhood home, that little voice inside her head became louder and louder, warning Sakura to turn back. She tried to ignore it, but for good reason, it wouldn't go away. Unconsciously, she fidgeted as they stood there, silently waiting on the front porch. Her heart was pounding and she could hardly breathe. Honestly, Sasuke was clueless as to what he was getting himself into. It was terribly frustrating, but Sakura knew she couldn't give up just yet. It was up to her to change the stubborn man's mind, so she tried speaking up once more.

"You don't have to do this, you know," she dared him, hoping if said in a suggestive way, it might make a difference.

"I know," was all Sasuke replied and proceeded to knock.

Admittedly in a normal world, it was kind of cute, and perhaps even honorable that Sasuke wanted to ask her Dad's permission for her hand in marriage before they took their vows. And had Sakura come from a normal family, she wouldn't have had any qualms. However Sakura's family was definitely a little "different" from the norm and her reservations were certainly justified.

At times her Dad would possess a wicked sense of humor that got worse if he didn't like you. And she knew in the past, there wasn't much he liked about Sasuke, or her for that matter, when she spoke of him.

As luck would have it, Kizashi had warmed to the idea of Sasuke recently, but she still wasn't exactly sure how he felt. Past experience proved, her father could be a loose cannon at the most inopportune of times, and frankly if her twenty-plus years of experience didn't give her a clue on how to handle him, how would Sasuke manage?

She loved Sasuke. She really, really did, and she would do nearly anything to make him happy. Their engagement was a long time coming, so the last thing Sakura wanted was for them to start off having issues. When Sasuke first brought the idea up, for both their sakes, she politely declined his request to meet with her father and hoped he would just concede and move on.

Unfortunately for her, the Uchiha remained steadfast with his intent. She tried nicely to deter him but nothing seemed to work. Admittedly she ultimately became a little testy when Sasuke wouldn't change his mind, and when push came to shove, she outright warned him he wouldn't be able to handle her father.

She was sure that would be the end of it, but her frustrations grew tenfold when the Sharingan user confidently shrugged her concerns away, stating if he could take care of himself on the battlefield, a little visit to her parents couldn't be any worse. Flustered and desperate, Sakura's rising panic got the best of her and she lowered herself to one last tease.

"Why are you being so old-fashioned and stubborn about this anyway?" she blurted, hoping this final blow would turn the tides.

"My Mom would have wanted this," he said simply, and with that Sakura promptly shut her mouth. Sasuke rarely shared anything about his past, let alone his deceased mother. This was his mother's wish? How in the world could she deny him?

Trying hard to stay composed, her imagination ran wild with all the scenarios that would ensue as they continued to wait. She knew there was no doubt Sasuke would be sorry about this. Really sorry. She loved her father to pieces, but there was good reason she moved out early to be a ninja. As her nerves coiled tight, she briefly considered bolting, but suddenly the door flew open and she had no other recourse but to remain glued to her spot.

"Oh," her father said in surprise. "It's you!" Kizashi smiled that crooked smile of his and pulled her forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Long time no see," he welcomed. A quick nod to Sasuke had him opening the door wider and stepping to the side. "Come in. Come in. Hey, Mebuki, we have guests!" he announced.

Sasuke smirked as he brushed past her father. As he suspected, Sakura was just over reacting.

"Guests?" Mebuki replied, a bit startled. "Who in the world would come by at this time of night?"

The older, blonde-haired woman quickly came into view and upon seeing them, surprise shone on her face.

"Sakura...and Sa..Sasuke?" she stammered out. She shot Sakura a worried look and carefully eyed Kizashi. For the past many months, she and Sakura had begun to work on warming her husband over the idea of having Sasuke around, but she wasn't quite sure they had won him over yet. Sasuke, she panicked, what in the world are you doing here? It was definitely a little soon for a visit and she was sure Sakura knew better.

"Don't make yourself a stranger," Kizashi chortled, and to Sasuke's discomfort encased him in a big man hug, rising the stoic man's hackles nearly to the limit.

Sakura cringed but said nothing and moved ahead to the living room.

"Have a seat, young man," Kizashi offered, and Sasuke proceeded to walk past him, keeping his cool as he settled himself next to Sakura on the couch. To Sakura's surprise, her father took the seat right next to Sasuke, not further away as she's hoped, causing further alarm to stir. "So... what brings you here?" her father continued, and Mebuki could only stare and wonder the same.

Nervously, Sakura anticipated what would come next, and to preface things, she felt it prudent to send her loving father a little warning. "Now Dad, Sasuke requested we come for a visit, so please behave yourself," she encouraged. But her confidence plummeted when Kizashi laughed aloud and shot her a wink. It was a clear sign Sakura and Sasuke should just run now. She cast a worried glance at Sasuke, but he didn't budge from his spot.

"Haruno-san," Sasuke said politely, "I've come to ask something important of you."

"Important?" Kizashi wondered. "Oh ho ho ho. This sounds rather serious," he said patting Sasuke a bit too hard on the back. Sasuke's jaw clenched minutely and Sakura paled.

"Dad, please," Sakura said, somewhat mortified. "Can you just..."

"Earlier today, there was a party at Naruto and Hinata's house," Sasuke cut in, bringing the attention back to himself.

"To celebrate Sakura's birthday," her mother stated.

"Yes," Sasuke verified.

The silent pause had Sakura wringing her hands in her lap and looking from her father, to Sasuke, and back.

"I made an announcement there," Sasuke began. He moved his gaze to Sakura and held her hand in his. Swallowing down hard, he readied himself for his next words and looked straight at Kizashi. "Haruno-san, I love your daughter and she loves me back," he stated firmly.

Mebuki's breath caught. Wait. Did she hear right? Did the infamous Uchiha Sasuke just confess to loving her daughter?

Her father initially looked stunned but composed himself quickly and gave a response. "So?"

So? Sasuke's eyes were wide with surprise. The mockery in Kizashi's voice was irritating but Sasuke continued with a mask of calm. "Haruno-san," he said as he worked to keep his voice even, "tonight I made a promise to love and protect your daughter with my very life. Now, I know we've lived a complicated past but..."

"Pffft," her father commented but Sasuke held his tongue. He could hear his mother's voice prodding him on. Manners, Sasuke. Use your best manners.

"With your permission, I'd like to ask for her hand in marriage," he finished. There. He had finally said the words, but when he looked back at Sakura's father, it suddenly felt a little hot in the room.

"Marry my daughter?" Kizashi spat as if in disbelief.

"Yes, that's what I said," Sasuke responded as calmly as he could.

Her father looked at Sasuke thoughtfully, but nothing but silence followed.

Oh no, Sakura thought. Here it comes.


Wait, what? She sat up straight, no longer able to hide the fact that her jaw just hit the floor.

"On one condition," Kizashi added.

"And that would be?" Sasuke asked.

"Name your first boy after me," Kizashi deadpanned.

Sasuke paled then froze. What? That was probably the last thing on earth he was expecting him to say.

"C'mon boy, we all know you want to get busy re-establishing the Uchiha Clan, so I thought I would get first dibs on naming my first grandson."

"Dad!" Sakura exclaimed, mortified.

"Dear," his wife Mebuki intervened and swallowed hard. "I...I think you're getting ahead of yourself," she reminded, starting to sweat.

"Yes. Yes. Nuptials first," Kizashi snapped back. Then he looked sternly back to Sasuke. "No touching my baby down there before the vows," he emphasized, as Sasuke blushed deeply. "Save that until the honeymoon," her father reminded.

Sakura was as red as a tomato. There was a reason she stayed away from this visit as long as she could. Oh my god, Dad. Did you really just say that?

Sasuke suddenly had the urge to hightail it out there, and his old-fashioned notion to get Haruno-san's blessing before they married vanished. In all fairness to Sakura, she had warned him, and it now it was clearer than ever, he should have listened. Geez of all the crazy things to pick to do for love and for the sake of my mother.

"Dad, you can't be serious!" Sakura suddenly exclaimed.

And then Kizashi laughed, that deep, gut wrenching laugh of his and Sakura wanted to die right then and there.

"Oh darlin'," Kizashi admonished, "Come now. This boy needs a sense of humor, and besides, you can't blame a Dad for milking this for all it was worth," he said as if to ease the tension in the air.

Sakura gave Sasuke an 'I told you so' look. He had asked for this, so he couldn't blow his top. She held Sasuke's gaze and sent him a silent mental plea to behave.

Digging down deep, Sasuke gathered himself, and proceeded to speak. "So, do we have your blessing?" he asked, as smooth as he could, looking Kizashi in the eye. The last Uchiha would never give anything away, but the sweat Sakura felt from his palm said it all.

Kizashi struck a thoughtful pose and took his sweet time to eep out every moment to prolong Sasuke's discomfort.

"I don't know what you see in him," he remarked to Sakura, and she privately willed her father to stop.

"What?" he rebuked to Mebuki at the look she was giving him. "The boy hasn't even promised me a grandson," he said, waving her off, but stopped his banter when his wife nudged him none to gently.

Sakura covered her face, and felt like she would die of embarrassment. Please just let this end, she prayed. Her Dad could be blunt, and he loved to fool with people, but this was Uchiha Sasuke they were talking about. At this point she just wanted the Earth to open up and swallow her whole. How in the world did I let ever this happen? How?

"Hmmpt," Kizashi challenged.

Finally Sakura found her voice. "Um...Dad, Mom, I think we should go," Sakura told them, and started to rise from her seat.

"Oh no you don't," Kizashi countered. "Not before I give the boy my answer."

Sakura looked at Sasuke desperately, but she could tell he was rooted to his seat, determined not to leave until he obtained an answer from her father, so she sat back down.

"Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish my sweet Sakura 'til death do you part?"

Honor? Sasuke stilled. Could he really honor her with all he had done? But Sakura squeezed his hand and the desperation in her eyes told him to give her father the right answer. He took in a breath and resolved to do what it took. "I will, to the best of my ability, Sir," Sasuke answered.

"Well then." Kizashi responded. "That wasn't so hard was it?"

Everyone momentarily looked confused.

"Dad," Sakura said, exasperated. "You didn't even give us your final answer yet!" she complained.

"Okie dokie."

"Wait. What?" Sakura looked stunned.

"I said, okie dokie," Kizashi clarified.

Okie dokie? Okie dokie All that for... okie dokie? Sakura wanted to scream.

Sasuke saw the rage brewing in Sakura's eyes and he grabbed her arm before she could react, politely excusing the two of them and rising to leave.

"Thank you," were Sasuke's last words. In a flash, they disappeared, without even a good-bye, leaving behind a stunned Mebuki and Sakura's hysterically laughing father.

Once safely back at her house, and allowing time to calm herself, Sakura looked Sasuke squarely in the eyes before speaking. "Sasuke, you know I love you with all of my heart," she started off seriously.

"I do," he agreed.

"But before we go any further, you'd better seriously reconsider your crazy notion of inviting my parents to our wedding..."

Sasuke almost turned purple. He remembered saying something to that effect earlier. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, he had insisted on it. Rarely did the Uchiha take anything back, but after tonight, he made a promise to himself he would open his mind and perhaps give some serious thought to Sakura's alternative plan. Eloping no longer sounded all that bad, and maybe, just maybe, after they married, a long journey outside the Village was in his future.

Author's Note:

A special thanks goes out to you wingedmercury for her wonderful input as a Beta and for pushing me to take the leap and share this. I was hesitant about this one, but having her approval definitely boosted my confidence up a notch. It was definitely fun to try something different.

Also, for Tuvstarr's Lost Heart: Hopefully this answered the question you posed to me of of why the parents aren't more prevalent in the manga. Perhaps it also gave you a little insight to your inquiries about why Sasuke would leave the Village for so long as well. Just kidding. Thank you for suggesting I try writing another parent fic. I'm glad you liked Yoshino in "Nag." Now you can let me know what you think of Kizashi.

For the Sasu/Saku fans: I've always wondered why Sasuke and Sakura wouldn't have a brood of kids when we all know Sasuke would go to the end of the world to accomplish a goal. Goodness, look what happens when I have to resort to answering my own questions in fanfiction! ;)

For everyone who made it this far, please read and review. I'm curious to know what you think. Remember, reviews really fuel passion to write (and share)!