Second in Woke up Blonde series:
Save the Queen
Main Character: Harmony Kendall
Secondary Character: Elle Greenaway
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to & Mutant Enemy. Criminal Minds belongs to Jeff Davis and Mark Gordon Company,CBS Television Studios and ABC Studios.
Summary: Harmony watches as Cordelia Chase walks away with "Loser" Harris. She won't let that happen! Fortunately a charming British old guy offered to help her save her friend from Loser Weirdo Crowd.
Time-line -or when story for characters starts of: For BtVS tail before and after episode Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. For Criminal Minds BOU team after episode Cold Comfort. For Elle Greenaway (Criminal Minds) 6 months after "The Boogeyman" the sixth episode of Criminal Minds.
***New York -Graveyard, day***
Elle Greenaway, former SSA for the BOU FBI, was standing before the grave of her father, who was killed in the line of duty when she was a little girl.
"I got a job, Dad. It's not police work. I can't ..." she trailed off, blinking furiously. Even six months after her resignation from the FBI and the BAU, she still could not face what was done to her and what she had done.
And what her former team had not done – yes she messed up, but they had enough evidence against William Lee on federal stalking chargers.
But Hotch and others, herself included, were so focused on the rape charge that they developed tunnel vision, and he walked. When he legally could not.
Until he did not … when she shot him.
"Every time I hear a gunshot, I remember that night. I don't feel safe anymore at home, dad, the thought of facing any more of Unsubs in the field … it terrifies me. So I took a teaching position in a town in California."
***Principal Snyder Office***
Elle Greenaway was sitting across from a small man, who should have never gotten a job that dealt with children. Or people in general.
"Now, Miss Greenaway, I suggest that you take a firm hand with your students, since you'll be teaching one regular course and two extra curricula courses. They must not see you as a friend, but as a judge, jury, and executioner."
She decided to apply for the ad for a Spanish language teacher, but upon coming to Sunnydale, she had found out that the teachers for the Self Defense and Psychology classes quit, so Elle decided that she (would) take those two subjects as well.
And so she headed to her first class – Principal Snyder gave her a list of troublemaker students that she would meet. She committed the names to memory, but also decided that she would form her own opinion on her students.
***Sunnydale High colonnade at the same time***
By the Sunnydale High colonnade, Cordelia Chase, Harmony Kendall, and all their friends – the Cordetts, that Harmony was proud to be apart of were walking around.
When they were under the balcony and headed toward the foot of the stairs, Harmony recalled that; "Cody Weinberg called me at home last night," she said to Cordy, excited at the prospect of a date and eager for praise from the Head Cheerleader.
Cordelia turned to her and adjusted her stylish purse. "Cody Weinberg? The one with the 350sl?" she asked.
Harmony nodded. "The very one. Said he's thinking of asking me to the pledge dance on Thursday."
Cordelia turned to her again with a wide smile. "That's so huge!"
Harmony nodded, proud that Cordelia was so interested in her. She was like the Queen of Sunnydale high. "Yeah, there's just two other girls he's gonna ask first, and if they refuse, then I'll..." she animatedly started to tell Cordelia all about it when somebody bumped into her as she and Cordy rounded the corner at the stairs.
"Watch it!" Harmony snapped at the Loser Harris.
"Sorry," the dweebo apologized, and where did he get that shirt – in a trash? Then again this one was an improvement to what he usually had on.
"God!" Harmony exclaimed as she looked him up and down – she was determined to show Cordelia how much she had learned from her. "Y'know, I'm glad your mom stopped working at the drive-through long enough to dress you."
Then she recalled another walking fashion disaster she saw. Harmony truned to Cordelia, directing her gaze away from the loser she was giving a dressing down to. He had started to sleeze away anyways. "Did you see Jennifer's backpack? It is *so* a crying..."
"Harmony, shut up!" The sudden snap from Cordy shut her off in share surprise. "Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep," Cordelia said.
And hey, she was not a sheep. She knew more words than that barn animal. "I'm not a sheep."
Cordelia turned to them all. "You're all sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is."
Harmony was watching Cordelia walk away with the Dweeb Loser Harris, holding hands.
"Well," Aphrodesia said from behind Harmony, "It appears we lost our Queen. I volunteer for her place!"
"The vote will have to wait," Aura said. "We have Spanish next and we are kinda late – I hear we have a new teacher."
***Street in Sunnydale***
Harmony was aimlessly walking around, then as if in a trance, she entered a quaint – with dusty windows- shop. She didn't even read what kind of shop it was. She just entered.
When a door bell chimed above her, she shuddered.
Why did she come in again?
This was not a shoe store?
Or a clothing store?!
It was full of some weird stuff. And some very weird icky stuff.
"Can I help you with something, young lady?" an old guy, who popped out, like some kind of wilted old daisy, from behind the counter, asked.
"Hello Mister Shopkeeper," she greeted looking around the shelves, then she frowned. The old guy had the same accent as that creepy librarian with no fashion sense – he wore tweed for Pete sake. "Say are you related to that creepy British school librarian that skulks in the library, and around Losers?"
"Can't say that I am. Not every person with a British accent is related to one another. Can you help me with something?" the creepy shopkeeper asked.
"Promise you won't do anything creepy; you are kinda old," Harmony said, giving the old guy a look she saw Cordelia give to the geeks when they got in her way.
The shopkeeper shook his head no – good – she had pepper spray and was not afraid to use it. "Nothing of the sort, young lady. May I acquire your name?"
"Eww, no." Her nose cringed in disgust. "I'm not telling you that my name is Harmony!" she stated indignantly.
"Very well, Miss Harmony."
How did he know her name?
"How did you know my name; are you some kind of stalker?" she asked, her hand in her shoulder bag holding that can of spray.
The old creepy stalker relative of the tweed wearing fashion disaster librarian, shop assistant held up his hands, palms facing towards her. "I never saw you before – and you never came to this store before," he said.
Ah, that was OK then. But … "Then how come you know my name?"
The shopkeeper crossed his arms over his chest, like some sort of important person. "I'm magical, and you came here because you have a problem, yes?"
That she can use! If the old guy was some kind of a Jinn – like that blue jinn in the cartoon movie that sings a lot – then she could get magical wishes.
"Yes," she nodded. "Can you help me save my friend, she … Cordy is dating Loser Harris and I'm sure he is forcing her somehow to do that and ..." she started to explain. If the man was a magician, like say David Copperfield, he could help her.
"All right – I'll help you if you answer this question correctly: Which is closer, the sacrificial lamb that I see or the sun?"
Oh that was easy- the sun obviously. There were no lambs in the store."Oh that is easy, the sun – see you can see it out of the window," she said nodding and what was with people mentioning sheep today, first Cordelia and now this guy.
The shopkeeper blinked stupidly then nodded. Harmony bet that he didn't expect her to answer him correctly.
"I'll help you. Can you give me your address – I'll come with my things to fix this – tomorrow your Miss Cordelia Chase along with Mr. Harris and his three friends will wake up to a new world," he said.
Harmony gave him a dazzling smile. Her parents were not home – or they didn't plan to be.
"That's all right, we can go now; my parents are not home anyway."
"Splendid, I'll load the wan. Do you have a car, young lady?"
"No, I came with a group … then I just had to enter …"
"That is all right, you can drive … how is it you say, Shotgun?"
"Me in a van, eww. I can't bee seen."
"Then here," Ethan pulled out big shades and a shawl, "if it works for stars, it certainly will work for you, Miss."
"This better work, Mr. Old-Brit shopkeeper."
Her parents were not home, but she had known they wouldn't be. Mommy and daddy were at the relatives in Olympia, Washington. Her mom's twin sister - Sandra Lombardini lived there with her daughter and Harmony's cousin Brooke.
Harmony didn't go because she had school. Which was just as well, since Aunt Sandra, her mother's identical twin sister, and Harmony's cousin Brooke, who looked – or so everybody said like an older version of herself.
But they were wrong – when Harmony would reach the age of twenty-seven like her cousin, she would be even more fabulously looking and a TV star.
"So I just have to blow off the surface and pour this junk." The shopkeeper – the name was definitely suited for an old guy – Ethan – nodded as she was repeating his instructions. "Over the wooden dolls." That Ethan the Creep said the figures represented, Cordy, Loser Harris, Freak of Nature Summers, that mouse Rosenberg, and that guy that joined the Loser Spook group.
"Yes, and I will chant. We will do this five times. And then you will be important to Miss Chase again," he said, handing her a glass. Then he positioned her before Cordelia's doll. It was dressed in stylish black bicycle shorts and a white flared mini skirt that showed the doll's legs. That would look great on her, Harmony thought.
She would have to ask the old guy where he got such a stylish skirt. The cape was too much though, but the red lining was a very pretty crimson color. The tacky golden thing was too gaudy.
"Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe CordeliaChase pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas," the old guy babbled.
Could he not hurry up? Say 'Avada kavadra' and 'bippity boppity boo' and it would be done? She had to go to a manicure and pedicure at the salon and perhaps get her hair done.
She nearly crawled out of her skin when suddenly he stood before her and handed her another glass full of icky stuff – that she quickly blew on, trying not to gag. There was hair inside. She poured it over the doll that was dressed as an out of fashion goth Lolita – its hand even held a lacy and frilly umbrella.
"Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe Buffy Anne Summers pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas."
Oh, so this was a doll for that Freak of Nature Summers. This time she saw when the old Brit-guy picked up the next glass and she accepted it – blew over the surface – and poured it over the next doll that was dressed in some sort of military outfit, with loads of guns, as he babbled gibberish that she did not understand until he hit a name.
"Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe Willow Danielle Rosenberg pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas."
It was that stupid, frumpy, nerdy red-mouse girl that hung out in the library and was friends with Loser Harris and that other guy – Jesse, that used to hang around them. Two dolls left...
"Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe Alexander Lavelle Harris pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas."
Loser Harris's doll looked ridiculous, like Goofy that cartoon dog that was with Mickey Mouse, with white gloves and dressed in a black and red coat. In fact, that stupid clumsy dog had a lot in common with Harris. His inelegance for one and appearance.
Ha. Whatever, she'd fix him, and Cordelia Chase would be Queen of Sunnydale High and her friend again.
She thought, as she poured the icky substance over the last doll, that the clothes on it were dull. Dark blue pants, dark blue turtleneck, with a tacky green sleeveless jacket full of pockets – it looked chunky and ugly.
The coat was a fashion disaster too.
"Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe Daniel Osbourne pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas."
He finally finished babbling – of a guy's name she did not know – who the heck was Daniel Osbourne?!
Harmony was inpatient and tapping her foot in annoyance. When the oldy looked at her, she raised a perfectly groom eyebrow at him.
"Well did it work?" she asked imperiously. He was watching her like he could not understand the question.
"Only one thing left, pick up that statue and break it -" He positioned her so both she and that weird two faced statue were facing the five dolls that she had just finished pouring that gunk over. "Pushing it from the pedestal will do."
"It's ugly," Harmony muttered and it was – the head had two faces. One female and the other male.
"Well then this is another reason for you to break the statue, isn't it?"
And wasn't that the truth! She would make him clean this room later too. Granted her mom and dad used this empty room for recreational purposes – mom did yoga in this room.
She pushed the statue, and it shattered on impact – but the light that sprang from those shards blinded her. And she felt hot and tingly all over.
***40 minutes later***
"What happened here?"
"I cannot find our daughter."
I'm right here! Right in front of you, flapping my arms like a bird!
"Sarah, call the police. Something happened to our daughter."
"The police...dear you know, that..."
"Call Detective Stein of the Sunnydale PD, and I'll call your sister. Perhaps she can get a hold of those FBI agents who found Brooke."