561(AN) Sorry, I just had to get this into a chapter. This idea has been floating in my head for so long that I couldn't ignore it anymore. So, what you see here is a little experimentation of the idea I had. The theme may have been repeated, but I had to post it.
Sasuke participating in the Fifth Holy Grail War. If you don't like the idea, then you might want to turn away. I'll work on the next chapter depending on the feedback.
So, anyway... on with the chapter.
(((Finding oneself)))
'By making revenge your goal, he hoped to make you strong…'
'My foolish little brother…'
'He wanted you to keep believing that Uchiha was a proud clan of the leaf…'
'You really have gotten stronger… Sasuke.'
'He accepted disgrace in the place of honor and hate in place of love… and despite that, he died with a smile on his face.'
'Forgive me, Sasuke… but this is it…'
A shrilling sound pierced his ears. Onyx eyes opened slowly, blinking a couple of times to get adjusted to the bright light in his room, before slowly focusing on the device beside him. He groaned a bit before bringing his hand down in a lazy move and slamming it onto the alarm to rid the annoying buzzing sound. Then, he slowly pushed himself up off the bed, and ran his hand through his messy spikes before shooting a look through his bangs at the clock.
It read 6:25 am as he looked around at the small and simple room he was residing at, before leaving the bed and picking up the crumpled shirt off the floor near one of its legs. Throwing the shirt into the pile of clothes set for washing, he picked up a fresh set of shirt and pant from his cupboard.
He then gave a long stretch of his arms and yawned, before dreading himself with the routine that he has been doing for a while now.
He scratched his head, staring absently at the gross circular symbol that lay in the center of the hall. The previous tenant had rather weird artistic skills, he jested. His focus shifted back at the clock, looking at the led time before charcoal eyes turned to a simple necklace that lay beside the digital device. He stared at the ornament for a few silent moments before shifting his gaze away.
"...Guess I'll have to go today as well."
He almost sighed, for which he had a very good reason.
(((Finding oneself)))
Walking down the street, Sasuke noticed a few students from Homurahara School taking the same path. It made sense; this was one of the main routes to the school. The students were chattering among themselves, probably excited about the start of a new day or—more likely—some trivial gossip. Watching them get so worked up about what he considered a robotic, shallow life felt strange.
No matter how often he'd taken this road and seen these same familiar faces, he still felt out of place. Socializing like they did wasn't in his repertoire; he'd always been a loner. Or maybe they were the ones out of place. Either way, he seriously didn't understand the hype about school. Since he'd arrived last fall, it had only brought him trouble.
He was busy silently critiquing everyone else's social lives when giggles and whispers from a group of girls behind him broke his train of thought. He didn't need to guess why.
Him. It was always him.
If school life had a list of top annoyances, this would be number one. Somehow, by doing absolutely nothing, he'd attracted a fan club. His apparent indifference only made them think he was "cool," which encouraged them even more. Honestly, the logic baffled him. Ignore people, and they flock to you? Sure, that made sense. But at least none of them had gathered the courage to approach him yet. Small mercies.
He sighed, turning a corner and stopping at the crosswalk as the light turned red. A small crowd gathered, and snippets of conversation floated by. The latest hot topic seemed to be a new game release. Typical. Almost every guy his age seemed obsessed with games, while girls talked endlessly about clothes, jewelry, or anything else they thought could "enhance their beauty." It was like clockwork. Of course, not everyone was that way and there were always exceptions.
He wondered idly if something was wrong with him for not caring about these "trends." Was he the only one who saw this as a waste of time? Had he always been like this? Or was it some kind of deviation from whatever life he'd led before his memory loss?
Did he used to talk about this stuff with friends? …Did he even have friends?
There was no way to know. The thought vanished as quickly as it came, replaced by the same emptiness he always felt when trying to recall anything before a year ago. When he'd woken up in the hospital, he'd been alone. The nurse had rushed to bring the doctor when she saw him trying to pull out his IV. The doctor had asked him his name, tried to find any family or friends, but there was no record of him anywhere.
The doctor had seemed kind, maybe reminded of someone he'd known who hadn't been so lucky. Whether Sasuke himself was "lucky" depended on how you looked at it; after all, being stabbed in the heart and left unconscious wouldn't count as fortunate by any normal measure.
But with the doctor's help, Sasuke had walked away without owing anything. Occasionally, the doctor still called to check on him.
Back at the crosswalk, Sasuke snapped back into reality as the light turned green. He joined the crowd, keeping a sharp eye on his surroundings—the people, the vehicles stopped at the curb. It was a habit he couldn't shake, like something bad would happen the moment he let his guard down. Just a silly instinct. Maybe he was always paranoid.
Sure enough, he was still alert when one of the most irritating voices in his life made itself known.
"Yo, Sasuke!"
He didn't need to turn to know Shinji Matou was closing in. The preppy boy clapped him on the back with a grin that could blind anyone within a five-mile radius.
"I'd tell you to stop stealing girls from me, but you'd just ignore me anyway," Shinji said, draping an arm over Sasuke's shoulder. "Seriously, man, how do you do it? You don't even try!"
"I don't care about that." Sasuke gave him a sidelong glance. "And keep your arm to yourself. People might get ideas."
"What kind of ideas?" Shinji gasped, throwing a dramatic hand to his forehead. "Are you suggesting that people might think we're… friends? Oh, the horror!"
Sasuke's lips twitched. "I was thinking more along the lines of a tragic buddy-cop duo where one of us mysteriously disappears halfway through the movie."
"Harsh!" Shinji laughed, unfazed. "You've really perfected this whole 'cold and aloof' act, haven't you? Girls eat that up, you know."
"And you've perfected the 'loud and obnoxious sidekick' trope. Bet the girls love that too."
"Touché. But for real, how do you do it? You're like a magnet for attention without even trying, and I'm here busting my ass to get noticed!"
"Maybe if you spent less time busting your ass and more time keeping your mouth shut, you'd have better results," the lost Uchiha said dryly.
"You haven't changed a bit in these last six months," Shinji laughed, unfazed. "I swear, I don't know what the girls see in you. All I see is some brooding guy acting like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders."
"And all I see is a spoiled brat who could learn a thing or two from his sister."
"Still with the jabs, huh?" Shinji only shrugged. "Or wait, are you secretly stalking Sakura behind my back?"
The name felt oddly familiar to Sasuke for reasons he couldn't place, like the taste of a particular ramen topping. But this Sakura wasn't the one his mind went to.
"I'm just observant," Sasuke replied, stopping at the school's gate. Socializing with Shinji might be good for his image, but definitely not for Sasuke's. While he didn't have a problem with the guy, Shinji had a reputation as a notorious flirt, constantly swarmed by girls. Some of his rabid "fangirls" might use Shinji to try and get to Sasuke.
As if right on cue, he noticed Tohsaka Rin leaving the archery dojo. Even in the morning light, she looked effortlessly composed, like she'd stepped out of a magazine. Her long, dark hair caught the sunlight, and her uniform was somehow pristine despite the early hours. She was the epitome of elegance, and everyone knew it—well, at least his class boys and Shinji seems to think so.
And yet, when her gaze briefly flicked to him, Sasuke caught the faintest crack in her mask—a moment of curiosity, quickly replaced by her usual polite indifference.
Of course, she noticed him. Everyone noticed him.
Sasuke's mind, however, couldn't resist running away with the thought. What's her deal, anyway? She was practically worshiped by the student body for her beauty and grace, but Sasuke couldn't shake the feeling that it was all a front. Beneath that polished exterior, she was probably just like everyone else—annoying, shallow, and way too invested in meaningless social hierarchies.
He hadn't spoken a word to her since enrolling, and honestly, he wasn't sure he ever wanted to. What would he even say? Hi, you seem fake but slightly less annoying than the others. Want to be friends? Yeah, no.
Shinji followed Sasuke's gaze and lit up. "You're staring at Rin, huh? I knew it! You do have a crush on her!"
Sasuke didn't even dignify that with a response. Instead, he said, "Keep this up and you will lose your chance. Shouldn't you bother her before you lose your chance?"
"Right, right," Shinji said, already bouncing on his heels. "Later, Sasuke!"
The raven haired teen watched Shinji dash off toward Rin, radiating confidence. Tohsaka's irritation was visible even from a distance, though she masked it well.
As he passed by the two of them, Rin's gaze briefly shifted to him again, and he could swear her expression hardened for just a fraction of a second, as if she knew who exactly unleashed Shinji onto her.
Well, what happened between those two was none of his business. Setting his shoes aside in his locker, he started up the stairs, only to hear Shinji's loud shout from downstairs moments later. He smirked, guessing that Rin had finally decided to put him in his place.
Entering class in a slightly better mood, Sasuke let the sounds of his classmates drift around him. Some greeted each other with enthusiasm, and a few even tried to greet him, though he barely noticed, too lost in thought, gazing out the window. Soon, the class filled, and the overly enthusiastic homeroom teacher came in and started the lesson. But Sasuke barely paid attention; the clouds outside were far more interesting.
Studying felt pointless anyway. Yet he still had some of the highest grades in his year.
He was already fluent in Japanese, found math pointless, and picked up English naturally. History bored him, and somehow, he outperformed everyone in P.E.
His P.E. teacher had even offered to mentor him for national-level competitions, but Sasuke had immediately declined. The teacher had muttered something about a "waste of talent." Maybe he was right. Sasuke did feel as though everyone else was weaker and less fit.
And, annoyingly, this only seemed to make him more popular among the girls, who thought it was "cool" that he didn't care.
He sighed, drawing a curious glance from the guy sitting behind him that had similar voice but different tone. This was bad—it was only morning, and he was already sighing. It made him wonder why he'd bothered coming at all.
(((Finding oneself)))
It was a monotone process as the bell rang and teachers shifted and taught the same thing again and the whole process repeats, Sasuke felt as he stopped at the vending machine outside the building. Popping in some coins, he pressed the red button labeled 'coke' and picked up the can, as he glanced at the entrance of the club not far from him.
With its doors always open, and situated outside the main building due to the activities held by it. The archery club.
Archery club was one of the few clubs he hadn't touched since his entry into this institution. Probably because Sasuke did not want a repeat of what happened with the Kendo club. To this day, the male members of the Kendo club give him a dirty eye whenever he entered their sight. He probably should have held back on them when he gave his trails...
And knowing that Shinji was a key member of the Archery club, he did not even want to imagine what would happen if he had tried out for this club.
He knew he was always good with a bow and arrow. Probably because he trained a lot when he was younger, or he was ridiculously good because of his dormant talent. The latter reason would mean that he was a true prodigy. But, he did not feel the need to enroll in it or demonstrate his abilities. Because honestly, he didn't know how that skill could be useful in the peaceful society that they were living in currently.
The society that consisted of much more dangerous weapons than bow and arrow like guns, grenades.
He took a sip as saw a young girl with purple hair, clad in a kimono kind of dress that the archery club wore, walk towards the vending machine. He moved away from the machine without her saying anything, and gave her way to use it. The girl got into his previous spot, and popped a few coins and helped herself with a drink.
She then bowed slightly and gave a silent thanks, before going back to the archery club.
Sasuke wordlessly watched as she headed back into the archery club in short steps, and was no longer visible to him.
That girl was Matou Sakura. With such politeness and humility, and the kind smile she sported on her face, Sasuke had a hard time imagining her as Shinji's sister. Well, whatever he thought. It wasn't exactly uncommon for siblings to be total opposites of each other.
He shrugged, before deciding to be on his way as he was already getting late by 30 minutes. He blamed it mostly on Shinji this time for his lack of time sense, seeing as he managed to get a hold of him again since they were in the same class. He was whining like an idiot about how he would take revenge on Tohsaka for humiliating him in front of everyone.
Sasuke had wanted to point out that it was Shinji's own fault, and many students had not witnessed his apparent humiliation but decided against it.
He was already late for his part-time job and was already getting migraines of his very angry manager.
He worked at many places, like fast food centers and the one where he had to go now was a postal office. His duty was to care of the incoming packages and sort it out for the delivery man to take it later.
It was monotone and totally uninteresting, he knew. But, he had no complaints regarding the job, as it allowed him to get through the whole month. The pay was good enough too, there really wasn't any point complaining.
But, he just didn't know how much his fate would change because of this unexpected tardiness on that particular day.
In the hindsight, Sasuke probably should have thanked Shinji.
(((Finding oneself)))
Tohsaka Rin decided her day couldn't get any worse.
First, she woke up early because for some reason all the clocks in her house had been reset to an hour early. As a result, she arrived at the school an hour early, which wasn't like her at all. Then as if fate decided to mock her, Shinji somehow got whiff of her early arrival and found her, which she found quite annoying.
And, finally the man she hated the most decided to call her today of all days… well, left a voice mail to be exact. But, still hearing his voice was enough to make her entire demeanor from partially cheery to sullen. That man wasn't exactly evil… but she just didn't feel comfortable enough around him, as he always sent shivers down her spine whenever they were in the same room.
He was also the one to teach her magecraft after her father passed away ten years ago. Still, she could never stand him. Because that man wasn't able to protect her father after promising that he would to her. He failed to uphold his promise. That was unforgivable in her books, as it also left her mother devastated.
Still, since he was an overseer in this war, she supposed she could hear what he had to say. Still dreading about it, she pressed the button almost involuntarily and allowed his message to be processed.
"It's me."
That was just like him to start a conversation. She looked off to her side as she slightly clenched the bag in her hand and prepared herself as the message continued.
"As I am sure you are aware, tomorrow is the deadline, Rin. I insist that you start taking this seriously soon." She just stared with no expression at the landline as the message paused for a bit to let her think about it. "Only three openings remain; the knight classes – the Archer, Saber, and Lancer classes. The ranks of the masters should be filled without delay."
Of course, she knew that. Since she was the heir of the Tohsaka household after all. She also felt like it was her responsibility to fulfill her father's wishes he had for the grail. Since it was the least she could do to honor her father and his name. Plus, it had always been the dream of the Tohsaka house to win the grail... the dream that had been left unfulfilled for so long.
"Summon your servant and establish your command spells immediately." The message seemed to order. "Of course, if you do not wish to participate in the Holy Grail war, that is a different matter. If you value your life, seek shelter with the church-"
She cut the line and didn't allow the message to be completed. She scoffed lightly, thinking he was just plain mocking her now, "I know what I have to do. You don't need to tell me."
She felt a burning sensation at that moment like something was engraving onto her right wrist, which she did not bother looking down to confirm. It was the command spells, something that identifies her as a master and one of the participants in the coming Holy Grail war.
(((Finding oneself)))
"Since you're late, you can take on the responsibility of delivering this package. Right now," barked the short, grumpy manager, his voice sharp and uncompromising.
Sasuke scowled. "I already put in an extra hour to make up for it," he protested, glancing around to emphasize his point. Most of the staff had long gone home. "Are you sure you're not just pushing this on me because there's no one else around?"
"Watch your mouth!" The manager's eyes narrowed, not hiding his irritation. "Just get this package to the address. It's urgent—so don't mess this up. Do you understand?"
Sasuke let out a reluctant sigh, seeing there was no way out. "Fine."
The old man shoved a casket-sized brown parcel into his arms. "And remember! Losing this package means losing your job. So handle it carefully!" he warned, eyeing Sasuke with a sharp glare.
"I got it," Sasuke muttered, gripping the package. It was covered in stamps from abroad—a big international shipment, which probably explained why his usually irritable boss was being even more high-strung. Sasuke was tempted to tell him to deliver it himself but bit his tongue, heading out the door without glancing at the address.
Outside, he checked the address under the streetlight and groaned. "Again?" he muttered to himself.
His luck—or lack of it—was almost laughable. For the second time today, he'd have to go to the Matou residence. The package was labeled "To Matou Zouken," Shinji's grandfather. And it wasn't exactly close by.
It was nearly midnight, and Sasuke wasn't thrilled about trudging over to Shinji's place, even if it was for Shinji's grandfather. "I'll just give it to him at school tomorrow," he mumbled. With that, he turned toward his own place, boarded the last train of the night, and finally got off at his stop. From there, he walked the rest of the way to his apartment.
He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, his breath clouding in the chill night air. Winter was definitely around the corner. A drink would be good, he thought. Of course, school couldn't find out, or his scholarship would be on the line—attendance alone was strict enough.
Just then, his phone buzzed, its ringtone blasting rock music. He glanced at the screen and sighed. It was the doc again.
The doc, a retired physician, called every so often to check on him, asking how he was doing and sometimes launching into long-winded advice. Sasuke couldn't complain—the old man had helped him immensely since he'd woken up in the hospital. He'd even arranged for Sasuke to take the school entrance exam. Sasuke owed him, though the doc could be a bit much sometimes.
Another ring went by before Sasuke finally answered. "Hello?"
"Ah, I thought you'd hang up on me this time!" the doc chuckled.
"You know I never hang up on you, doc."
"Just joking, just joking. You need to learn to take a joke, Sasuke."
Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, but he kept walking. The doc always had this weird mix of kindness and nagging. And while Sasuke appreciated him, tonight he wasn't in the mood for small talk. Nightmares had plagued him lately—images of a woman with long black hair and a stern man, their bodies lifeless and sprawled on top of each other. The faces were too familiar not to be family…maybe his parents, or an aunt and uncle. He didn't know for sure, but the images had been haunting him.
The memories made him grit his teeth. He didn't need any cheerful talk. "Doc, why did you call?"
"Why so tense? Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?" the older man laughed.
"If there's nothing you need, I'm hanging up."
"Wait! Don't get hasty," the doc said quickly, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. "Actually…I called because…well…"
The doc trailed off, which was unusual. Sasuke's voice softened slightly. "Doc, what happened?"
"..."
"..."
The old man sighed on the other end. "…you know, I think of you like a son."
Sasuke knew the doc was likely drinking tonight. Every year around this time, he got sentimental. He'd told Sasuke once about losing his own son ten years ago to a serial killer who had plagued the town back then. His son had been found, his body mutilated beyond recognition. The doc had buried that grief somewhere deep, but it seemed to creep back up now and then.
If his son had survived, he'd be around Sasuke's age.
"…If he were alive, he'd be your age now," the doc finally said, his voice low and reflective.
Sasuke felt his frustration ease. "Thank you, doc."
The older man laughed, his tone brightening a bit. "Thank me? You're the one who got yourself here. I just did what any old man would do. But—hey—are you sure there isn't a girl in the picture? If so, tell her thanks from me for getting you to warm up a little."
"…I will," Sasuke said, a rare smirk tugging at his lips.
"Wait, does that mean you actually—"
"Goodbye, doc," Sasuke cut off the line before the doc could dig any further into his non-existent love life. Still, it was nice having someone to talk to now and then, even if the doc could be insufferable.
Back in his apartment, he locked the door and flipped on the lights, only to be met with the strange design scrawled across the floor—a chalk outline of a symbol left from an old crime scene, long ago. The landlord had said the police had recreated it where the killer had originally painted it in blood. Some previous tenant even painted over it, leaving the dark symbol permanently etched onto the floor.
It was morbid, but he'd gotten the place cheap because of it. Supposedly, the killer who'd drawn that symbol was the same one who'd taken the doc's son's life. This was one of his crime scenes.
If the killer weren't already dead, Sasuke might have tried to track him down himself. But ten years ago, someone had delivered justice: the man was found on a bridge with two gunshots, one to the gut, one to the head. Poetic, maybe.
A flash of red suddenly sparked in his vision, stabbing into his eyes. Pain seared through his body, and he dropped to his knees, pressing a hand over his left eye as visions began to blur and pulse before him—bodies strewn across alleys and streets. Somewhere among the images, he heard that haunting whisper from his nightmares:
"You don't have enough hatred."
The package slipped from his grip as he clenched his fist, fingernails digging into his palm hard enough that, if any sharper, they'd have broken the skin.
If he could just remember—if he knew who was responsible for the images in his dreams, the faces, the blood…maybe he could make sense of it all.
As if in response, a sudden, intense burn seared the back of his right hand. Through the pain, he watched as three red marks emerged in a circular pattern, chasing each other.
"What the…?"
(AN) That's it for the first chapter. And, by the way, the 8th episode of Fate/Apocrypha was LIT! If you haven't watched it, do watch it.