883No copyright infringement intended.
—
xxix.
witching hour
—
The first night of training camp went about as expected. Mandalay announced a nine o'clock curfew, which meant we needed to be inside our cabins by eight fifty-nine. After drying my hair and diligently slathering on skincare, I spent the rest of the evening catching up with the girls, giggling over something or another until one by one they said their goodnights.
Despite my body's best efforts to beg for rest, my brain refused to shut down, and I ended up staying awake until beams of sunlight broke through the clouds. By the time our alarms sounded, I snuck in around two and a half hours of sleep, which was nowhere near enough rest for a teenager scheduled to have multiple intensive training sessions.
I remembered dozing off a few minutes at a time. Whenever I closed my eyes, I imagined all of the worst things that could happen the next time I opened them. My fears for the future never failed to make me regret the mistakes I've made in the past, if only because I wished I had done more to prepare for the present, and that feeling of dread lingered so persistently.
Mindlessly scrolling through my phone provided some reprieve, but the blue light from my screen made sleeping even more impossible. I switched to music once my eyes could no longer handle the strain only to realize that every song reminded me of a certain person. While they provoked a different kind of palpitation, I felt the stutter in my chest all the same.
The worst part was always starting the day with the makings of a migraine. I should've probably eaten a proper breakfast to compensate for my lack of energy, but the thought of walking all the way to the dining hall on the opposite end of the campsite exhausted me even more, so I settled for a banana I swiped from the kitchen after yesterday's dinner instead.
"You're up early."
I peered over my bunk to see Momo already dressed for the day, perched on her own bed as she brushed her hair. The sight of her so put together even at this hour delivered a swift blow to my self-esteem—my dark circles must have made me look like a mess in comparison—but because it was Momo, I buried the insecurities and mustered a smile.
"You woke up earlier than I did," I said, tossing the banana peel into a nearby trash bin.
Momo grinned when I made the shot. "I think everyone woke up earlier than you did."
"I thought you said I was up early?"
"Early for you," she teased, though it held a hint of hesitation. "Are you feeling okay now? I hope you were able to catch up on some sleep."
"Better than yesterday," I mumbled after a breath.
Momo glanced at the trash bin. "Is that all you're eating?"
"You know I usually don't have much of an appetite in the morning."
"This isn't a usual morning," she said, forehead creasing in concern. "Considering our training schedule, I doubt one banana will last you until lunch. I could bring you something from the dining hall, if you'd like?"
I swung my legs over the side of the bunk and shook my head, stubbornly ignoring the blood vessels pulsating against my brain. I knew Momo made the offer out of kindness, not obligation, but I couldn't stop some intrusive thoughts from triggering my anxiety again. As much as I hated feeling helpless, it hurt even more to think everyone else might have thought the same.
"I'll check what they have right now," I said, landing on the carpet with a soft thud.
Momo sat up straighter, and for a second, I wondered if she expected me to stumble. "Will you be alright walking there on your own?"
"It's a short trip."
"A short trip you seemed rather reluctant to take a minute ago."
"That was a minute ago," I said, shrugging. "You had me at 'banana.'"
I walked into the bathroom connected to our cabin with my clothes in hand. Since I showered the night before, I skipped straight to the sink, turning on the tap and thoroughly washing my face with cold water. Although I appeared marginally more alive after applying some moisturizer, the discoloration under my eyes exposed the extent of my exhaustion.
Looking in the mirror felt like a façade at this point. I always thought I was my prettiest at the most intimate moments, as if having no else around to compare myself to allowed me to feel some semblance of real confidence. As soon as I stepped back outside, I spared a glance at Momo, and I couldn't help but wonder if I looked that pretty to anyone else.
"Do you want me to bring anything back for you?" I asked, tying my hair into a haphazard braid.
Momo stood to fix some of the strands around my face. "Perhaps a cup of tea."
"Rooibos?"
"How did you know?"
"You mentioned last week that you wanted to import a box of it for your birthday," I said, laughing at her giddy excitement. "It's a little early, but I'll ask if there's any available to brew today."
Momo thanked me with another pretty smile. Despite my diffidence, I made sure to return the gesture before heading out the door. The air at our current altitude felt crisper compared to cities shrouded by smog, but I recalled the summers I spent by the beach, idly wondering whether I could learn to love the overgrowth of trees as much as the ocean tides.
It made my heart ache a bit, if only because a piece of me wished I was there instead of here. The incident in Yokohama left a few scars—most of which have yet to smooth over—but I made some of my most precious memories during the interim prior to that. Among them, I remembered sitting beneath a waterfall, contemplating my purpose as a Hero.
I decided back then that I wanted to be a part of the world. Ironically, I became more detached from everything around me after the true nature of my Quirk revealed the potential to manipulate the very thing that made my existence possible. How could I navigate this period of my life coming from having no control to possessing a power that granted so much of it?
"Higuchi!"
For a second, I had transported back to that little grotto, the mountains and forest all but forgotten. I snapped out of my stupor at the sound of my name, almost tripping on a random root protruding from the soil in the process. From my peripheral, I saw a pair of hands reach out to catch me, but before I could hit the ground, I managed to steady myself.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Kaibara grimaced.
I shook my head. "I shouldn't have been spacing out."
"Did you just wake up?"
"… sort of."
"Looks like Kan-sensei was right."
"First day of training and he's already talking behind my back?"
"Not like that," Kaibara said. "Kan-sensei asked Awase and Honenuki to talk to you about your Quirk. We tried finding you earlier, but he said you were probably still asleep."
"You're not Awase or Honenuki," I pointed out.
Kaibara bobbed his head. "I was with them when Kan-sensei mentioned it."
"If you know where they are now, I can make a quick stop before heading to the dining hall."
"Awase's getting ready back at our cabin," Kaibara said. "And Honenuki left a few minutes ago to eat breakfast with Monoma. I guess it works out since you're already on your way there, but I can go with you, if you want."
I accepted his offer with a smile of my own. Despite last night's talk easing a bit of tension, hearing Monoma's name so soon after our argument still felt a bit awkward, though I couldn't help but hold onto the hope of us having a more constructive conversation. If nothing else, I appreciated the company.
"Have you seen him around this morning?" I asked.
Kaibara blinked. "Who?"
"Monoma."
"Monoma?" Kaibara echoed. "Not since last night, but I doubt he already left the dining hall. Why do you ask?"
As we reached the entrance, he rushed forward to open the door. I thanked him with another small smile and noted his confusion at the question. Based on his reaction, I had to assume Monoma hadn't told him about our impromptu truce, but explaining it required more time than I had to spare at the moment.
"I was just curious."
"About?"
"Have you had breakfast yet?"
Kaibara frowned. "Are you changing the subject on purpose?"
"More like thinking out loud," I said, picking up a plate. "I'm not used to functioning this early in the morning."
After a brief browse through the buffet, I scooped up a large spoonful of scrambled eggs and whirled around to search for a seat. As I waved to a few familiar faces finishing the last of their breakfast, Kaibara and I continued to scan the room for the other two boys we came to find.
Honenuki sat down at a nearby table with a half-finished bowl of cereal, while Monoma ate a slice of toast beside him. Kaibara headed toward them without thinking twice, but before I could decide whether to follow or run the other way, the blond coincidentally met my gaze.
"You look like you just woke up," Monoma said, brow raised.
I made a point to sit directly in front of him. "I should keep a tally of how many times I've heard that today."
"Kan-sensei made it sound like you went into hibernation," Honenuki snickered. "Heard you have a few questions for me, too."
"Sorry to bother you," I said, politely dipping my head.
Honenuki waved it off with a grin. "I can understand why he sees some similarities between our Quirks."
"It does sound like softening requires some degree of matter manipulation."
"I wouldn't be surprised if it did," Honenuki said. "If I'm being honest, though, I've never really thought about it that way. I mean, it's not like our Quirks came with instructions."
"I've never thought about mine in that way either. At least, not when I was only capable of controlling water."
"Well, how many people actually need a scientific explanation in order to use their Quirk?"
"Momo carries encyclopedias around to study the atomic configuration of every object she encounters before creating them herself."
"Because she's a genius," Honenuki said, bluntly.
I slumped in my seat, blowing the fringe out of my eyes. "I'm trying to do that without the S-level intelligence."
"Why do you need to do that at all?" Honenuki asked. "Just because that's how her Quirk operates doesn't mean yours works in the same way."
Midway through his sentence, I felt a tap on my shoulder and glanced beside me to see Kaibara gesturing at my untouched food. With a sigh, I picked up my fork and took another small bite of the eggs, waiting for Honenuki to continue his train of thought.
"It's obvious your Quirk is closer related to change than creation," Honenuki continued. "Like how I can turn anything I touch semi-liquid. I'm changing one thing into another thing, but I don't need to understand its 'atomic configuration' so long as I can tell the difference."
"Now that you mention it, I can sense liquid molecules constricting or expanding when I convert them into solids or gases—"
"Exactly!"
"—except I can't sense anything else."
Admittedly, that wasn't all true. I had always been able to sense some sort of cosmic shift whenever the League's warper came within our vicinity, and I started to see more colors after the practical exam, but I didn't know how to explain what any of that meant.
"How about when you turned that earth creature into ice?" Honenuki asked.
I bit the inside of my cheek. "It's hard to remember what happens once you're unconscious."
"How pitiful," Monoma mumbled under his breath, shoving his glass of water toward me. "Turn the liquid into dirt."
Considering our track record, I had every reason to believe he only said that to mock me, but Kaibara and Honenuki seemed otherwise unperturbed. As I slid the drink back across the table, I felt a familiar frustration start to fester under my skin and fought the urge to glare.
"I can't," I said.
"Have you ever tried it?"
"No, because I don't know how."
Monoma gaped at me. "That's the whole point of trying!"
"Is this supposed to be your version of a pep talk?" I asked, frowning. "Because it's not very motivating. If you think it's so easy, you should try it yourself."
I could tell he had a retort ready on the tip of his tongue, but the blond kept his mouth shut, silently brewing in thought. His gray eyes grew even cloudier somehow, simmering with apprehension until they suddenly met mine.
"Fine."
Without so much as entertaining a response, he reached forward and touched the back of my hand. I didn't feel any different, but as soon as the tips of his fingers made contact with my skin, Monoma shivered.
My mouth fell open when I realized what he had done. Honenuki and Kaibara stared at him with equal surprise, but Monoma diverted his attention to the water in his glass, eyes narrowed in concentration.
"Nothing's happening," Kaibara said after a pause.
Honenuki shushed him. "Give it a minute."
"It's been two."
"Maybe he needs to make physical contact with the object?"
"That isn't necessary," I said. "I've never needed to touch water in order to control it."
"You know, that's kind of a flex," Honenuki grinned.
Kaibara furrowed his brows. "Monoma might not be capable of that at the basic level."
"Who's side are you on?" Monoma scowled. "I've already got it figured out."
I almost rolled my eyes, but when I looked down, I had to let out a gasp. The glass was filled to the brim with dirt. As my gaze shifted to Monoma, I expected to see him with a smug expression, but he collapsed into his chair, more relieved than anything else.
"How did you do that?" I demanded, brows furrowed.
Monoma shot me a tired look. "How do you do that?"
"I told you I can't."
"That's not what I meant," Monoma said. "The transmutation was easy. As soon as I thought about the water transforming, it did."
"Why do you look like you ran a lap around the campsite?" Honenuki asked, poking his shoulder.
Monoma swatted him away. "Because it was exhausting!"
"You just said it was easy!"
"The same way carrying groceries up and down a flight of stairs is easy," Monoma explained, if not begrudgingly. "It's not a complicated task, but it still requires some level of stamina. Likewise, the transmutation isn't difficult on its own, but using her Quirk in any capacity exacts some sort of toll."
Has it always been that simple? For as long as I could remember, I assumed I lacked endurance because I didn't have a body built for combat. I never thought the exhaustion might have come solely from my Quirk, but looking back at all the times I blacked out for seemingly no reason, everything suddenly made an embarrassing amount of sense.
I learned so much in the five minutes Monoma had my Quirk. Part of me questioned why he changed his mind about borrowing it, but I realized I didn't care about the details. I appreciated him and Honenuki for even making an effort to talk to me. As much as I hated to admit it, their advice gave me the validation I needed all this time.
"I think I get it now," I mumbled.
Monoma sent me a sardonic smile. "Since you only did so with my help, I shouldn't be all that disappointed."
"No need to be so dramatic either," Honenuki said, laughing. "I, for one, am happy to hear that, Higuchi!"
As Honenuki inhaled the rest of his cereal, Monoma started a separate conversation with Kaibara. Taking the hint, I stared out the window and contemplated all the ways I could experiment with my Quirk. Assuming it was as easy as Monoma made it sound, I had plenty of options, but that only made it harder to decide.
"It's almost time for us to meet up with our teachers," Honenuki spoke up after a while, glancing at the time on his phone.
Kaibara peered at my half-empty plate. "You barely ate."
"I took a few bites."
"Like, one."
"I'm not that hungry."
"You should still eat," Kaibara said. "Monoma just told us your Quirk takes a toll on your stamina."
"I've already heard this speech today," I muttered, shoving another spoonful of eggs into my mouth.
Honenuki let out a cackle. "You're more stubborn than I expected, Higuchi."
"I'm not sure that's a compliment," Monoma sneered. "Now I understand why Kan-sensei's always stressed out."
I rolled my eyes in response, earning another laugh from Honenuki and a low chuckle from Kaibara. After finishing the last of my food, I took my own phone out of my pocket and checked for any messages I might've received on Do Not Disturb, aside from, of course, our always active group chats.
Todoroki Shouto
8:36 AM
good morning
are you still at the dining hall?
Higuchi Reiko
8:37 AM
good morning :-)
how did you know i was here?
Todoroki Shouto
8:37 AM
yaoyorozu said you went for breakfast
i stopped by your cabin but she was the only one there
Higuchi Reiko
8:37 AM
yup
scrambled eggs
i should've probably taken a picture
but i have witnesses to corroborate my story
Todoroki Shouto
8:37 AM
no need
i believe you
Higuchi Reiko
8:38 AM
:')
Todoroki Shouto
8:38 AM
fuyumi-nee packed some bread for me to give to you
i forgot about them until this morning but they should be fine to eat tomorrow
Higuchi Reiko
8:39 AM
please thank her for me
i'll remember to do it myself the next time i see her in person
Todoroki Shouto
8:39 AM
that's not too far off
she offered to take us to the airport this weekend
As I typed my next reply, I heard a perky voice greet me in my head. While Pixie-Bob had the ability to manipulate earth, Mandalay's Quirk allowed her to send telepathic messages to anyone in her vicinity, and it seemed like she decided to demonstrate it for the first time today.
"Good morning, everyone! In case you weren't aware, training starts in twenty minutes. Please be sure to arrive on time and listen to your teachers for any additional instructions. See you soon!"
"And that's my cue to get dressed," Honenuki said. "Nice chatting with you, Higuchi!"
"Thank you again, Honenuki."
"Any time!"
I bit the inside of my cheek and turned to the expectant blond in front of me. "I appreciated your help, too."
"How sentimental," Monoma said, raising his chin. "I would remind you not to act like a fool today if only to prevent your actions from reflecting poorly on our generosity, but I suppose I should learn to accept that some things aren't in your control."
"There he goes again," Kaibara mumbled, hanging his head in embarrassment.
For his sake, I took a deep breath. "Bet I stopped listening before you did."
"It looked like the two of you were actually getting along."
"I'm touched."
"Really?"
"No," I simpered, bridling my irritation. "If anything, I'm impressed he lasted this long before finally losing it."
"I'm standing right in front of you!" Monoma snapped.
Honenuki burst out laughing again. "I think they're getting along just fine!"
"Don't jinx it," Kaibara sighed, throwing me a wave. "See you later, Higuchi."
As the boys returned to their cabins, I headed back to the beverage station for Momo's tea. Although the dining hall remained open at all hours until curfew, Mandalay's announcement had everyone else rushing back to their rooms, but I appreciated having a moment of quiet before a busy day ahead.
Todoroki Shouto
8:40 AM
did you hear the announcement?
Higuchi Reiko
8:42 AM
i keep forgetting about the expo
and yeah
i'll head back to our cabin in a couple of minutes
are you done getting ready?
Todoroki Shouto
8:42 AM
yup
i'll wait for you here
:-)
Higuchi Reiko
8:42 AM
ok :-)
As soon as I stepped outside, I made the mistake of looking up at the sunny skies. I ended up with a few spots in my vision, which only made my head throb even more, but the nausea from earlier in the morning seemed to subside—at the very least, I could stand upright without wanting to curl over.
The thought of seeing Todoroki might've eased some of those symptoms. Having something to look forward to after a rough night helped me cope with the consequences, even if I didn't deserve it. I wanted to make some good memories this summer, after all. He just happened to be my favorite one.
Todoroki Shouto
8:45 AM
a cat just came up to me from out of nowhere
Higuchi Reiko
8:45 AM
somehow i'm not surprised
Todoroki Shouto
8:46 AM
it kind of looks like you
Higuchi Reiko
8:46 AM
you're probably biased
but i hope it's still with you when i get there
Todoroki Shouto
8:47 AM
probably
and i'll do my best to keep her entertained
I found him sitting at the steps of our cabin, playing with the cat that I assumed belonged to our hosts. Despite my attempts to approach them carefully, all the while trying to calm the stutter in my chest, the cat scurried away as soon as I came near. Todoroki stiffened in surprise, but relaxed after seeing it was only me.
"Sorry," I offered.
He shook his head. "Not your fault."
"I don't think that cat and I looked alike at all."
"Maybe," Todoroki agreed. "For some reason, though, she reminded me of you."
Todoroki crossed the space between us in two strides. I met him halfway with my head lowered, hoping to hide the heat in my cheeks. For a second, I wondered if the resemblance came from how much the cat adored him, but thinking about her obvious affection being comparable to my own made my entire body cringe.
"I've never seen your hair like that before," he said all of a sudden.
Instinctively, I touched my braid. "It was a last minute decision."
"Because you woke up late."
"I would've had more time to make it look presentable if I wasn't still in bed an hour after our alarms went off."
"It's pretty," Todoroki said, tilting his head. "Did you not think so?"
It looked like I had more in common with that cat than I thought. The second it came down to fight or flight, I wanted to turn tail, but the stubborn sincerity in Todoroki's expression ended up pinning me into place more effectively than the compliment. Much to my chagrin, the blush on my cheeks continued to burn.
"Thanks," I mumbled.
I clutched the cup of tea in my hand just a bit tighter, almost forgetting I had it at all. Momo must have waited forever and a day for me to get back. Before I could tell him I needed a minute to bring it inside, Todoroki let out a huff and adamantly shook his head, as if determined to prove a point.
"I think you're pretty," he said. "I always do. Maybe I should've mentioned that first, but I thought you already knew."
Just a few months ago, Shouto would have called the majority of his classmates a nuisance in some capacity. He never anticipated trading volumes of his favorite shonen series with Sero or avidly commenting on the cute baby animal clips Kōda always sends to him. In the short time since he met them, Class 1-A had become a slow and sudden source of comfort.
Prior to Yūei, he didn't have any sort of attachment to his phone, but between the steady stream of texts in their group chats and his slow introduction to social media (courtesy of Jirō and Kaminari), Shouto noticed he made more of an effort to keep the device close. It came with the realization that, for the first time, he had people in his life he wanted to call friends.
He never expected them to share the sentiment. Shouto thought they would stop reaching out when Higuchi stopped showing up to school, but their classmates invited him into all of their conversations with encouraging smiles. Even someone like Uraraka, whom he once considered nothing more than his best friend's best friend, had become a close confidant.
It meant… a lot.
For as long as he could remember, everyone around him, whether strangers or acquaintances, only ever saw him when they looked at someone else's shadow. If not Endeavor's son, then he was Eraserhead's student, or Higuchi's friend. He decided to use his name as his Pro Hero title because it left no room for interpretation. First and foremost, he was Shouto.
To be seen. To be heard. To be appreciated for no reason other than the fact that he was himself. The very idea sounded impossible, but his friends proved him wrong so many times, Higuchi more than anyone else. He was only ever Shouto around her. It made sense that her absence left an impression, though he hadn't expected to miss her as much as he did.
Due to their conflicting schedules, they called and texted some weeks more than others, but the two of them made an effort to talk everyday, even for a few minutes. The time they spent apart always felt a little less lonely after that. If their classmates provided him constant comfort, he considered the fleeting moments he shared with Higuchi small but certain happiness.
Her first full day back with them passed by in a blur. Shouto woke up the next morning already looking forward to seeing her again. The style she wore her hair was different, but a good different, despite her insistence otherwise. He couldn't understand why she would think anything else, so he told her as much. Shouto thought she was pretty. He always had.
As she snuck inside her cabin to drop off Yaoyorozu's cup of tea, Shouto sat back down on the steps out front. Despite the summer humidity, the air at that altitude created a freshening breeze, and he wanted to spend some time basking in it before their training started for the day. A couple of minutes later, Higuchi quietly slipped into the space next to him.
The both of them said nothing for a while. Shouto fixed his gaze on a twig just a few feet away from them, while Higuchi watched the cloudless sky. Neither of them minded the silence. Maybe it was because most of the other students went back to their cabins to finish getting ready, but at that moment, it felt like they were the only two people in existence.
"You think I'm pretty," she murmured at last, barely disrupting the silence.
Shouto let out a hum in affirmation. "I thought it was obvious."
"Picking up on that kind of thing isn't always easy."
"I wasn't expecting to hear that from someone who seems to notice everything."
"Four months ago, I would've agreed with you," Higuchi said. "I've realized I'm more oblivious than I want to admit."
"Sounds more like something you'd deliberately ignore if it was convenient," he said, looking over at her.
Higuchi shrugged, still staring at the clouds. "Maybe in a daydream."
"You do that a lot, too."
"Hallucinate?"
"If you want to call it that."
"Even now, it's hard to tell the difference."
"Are you implying I could be a figment of your imagination?"
"That probably would've been one of the only ways I'd assume you thought I was pretty."
"I meant it," Shouto said, frowning. "Is that so hard to believe?"
As Higuchi shook her head, she finally met his eyes, crimson crashing into shores of silver and sea-green. The early sunbeams emphasized her smile, proving his point even further. Shouto couldn't look away.
"No," she said. "Believing you is the easiest part."
Before he realized it, the corners of his own mouth curled in contentment. Eliciting such a reaction only made him want to do it more often—if nothing else, Shouto wanted her to smile like that all the time.
As soon as we gathered outside, Aizawa-sensei forgoed all formalities, immediately assigning each student tasks specific to their skills. To expand his sweat glands and increase the size of his explosions, Bakugou spent the next hour repeatedly plunging his hands into scalding water.
Kaminari simultaneously amplified his attacks and built his resistance to electricity by absorbing and discharging stockpiles of energy in increasing increments. In a similar manner, Todoroki took turns releasing massive amounts of fire and ice, trying to control their temperature and regulate his own.
Some of the students more adept at martial arts got paired up to spar with each other before shifting to exercises exclusive to their Quirk. Kirishima, Ojiro, Shinsō, and Ochako exchanged hundreds of blows, while Jirō demolished the side of a nearby mountain with gradually intensifying vibrations.
Others, including Momo, Sero, Aoyama, Ashido, and Kōda, worked on surpassing their physical limits by continuously dispensing their Quirks. Tsuyu and Deku ran an obstacle course designed to improve overall maneuverability as Tiger, one of the Pussycats, supervised their route.
Aizawa-sensei sent Tokoyami, Shōji, and Hagakure into a pitch black cave and told them to land as many hits on each other as possible. The darkness challenged all of their Quirks one way or another, which forced them to formulate strategies with more urgency. Last but not least—
"Take this," Aizawa-sensei said, holding something out to me.
I stared at the pebble he dropped in my hand. "What is it?"
"Whatever you want it to be."
"I can't tell if you made that sound vaguely inspirational on purpose."
"Let me rephrase," Aizawa-sensei said. "Transform it into as many objects as possible and take note of both the difficulty and the time it takes you to complete each transmutation. If you spend longer than ten seconds on something, do it again and again until you don't."
"Definitely on purpose," I mumbled, fist falling limply to my side.
Aizawa-sensei raised a brow. "No one's stopping you from going home."
"I want to stay here."
"Then I don't want to hear another complaint."
"I know," I sighed. "I'm not sure if I'll make any progress today, but I promise an attempt will be made."
Aizawa-sensei let out a snort. If I squinted, I might have even seen the ghost of a smile. As he left to check on some of the others, I sat crossed-legged on the ground, looking at the pebble again. Monoma said I just had to think about it transforming and it would.
My fingers closed over the rock, shaping into a fist. I shut my eyes, brows furrowed in concentration, and as I thought hard about holding a sphere of ice in my hand, a surge of emotion suddenly swept through me. From experience, it felt a lot like longing.
"You enjoy doing things you can do well, especially if you can do them well without putting in much effort," Kan-oji said to me once. "But when you try something new and realize you're not naturally good at it, you give up right away and refuse to touch it again."
I was too proud to admit he was right. For a long time, I liked being able to say I was the best at something, and I always did the bare minimum because I could get away with it. Now I was falling behind. The only reason I haven't yet was because I had a head start.
If I tried to catch up to everyone and failed to reach them, it would prove that I didn't belong here, but if I didn't try at all, I'd end up left behind, anyway. I could either accept that or continue moving forward. Right now, I wanted to move forward. I wanted it to work.
That was when I felt it.
I opened my eyes and gaped at the drops of water seeping through the spaces between my fingers. When my fist unfurled, I found a ball of ice in place of the pebble Aizawa-sensei gave me almost an hour earlier, similar in size, but another substance altogether.
Clutching the sphere of frost, I shut my eyes again and dared myself to imagine something solid, inwardly counting the seconds. The next time I glanced down at my hand, I saw a pebble—slightly smaller than the first, but a pebble all the same.
Thirty-seven seconds. It took twenty to revert the stone back into ice. Was it because I felt more comfortable manipulating matter as water? To test the theory, I willed the ball to become a bit lighter, and looked down yet again to see that I had successfully turned it into a swirl of air.
For another hour after that, I stuck to experimenting with objects that fit in the palm of my hand. Most transmutations took less than a minute. I couldn't turn something small into anything larger than what I had at the start, nor could I condense sizes in real time.
Apart from inanimate objects, I wondered if I could transmute living organisms. Not so much sentient beings, but plants, or parts of plants. By the time Aizawa-sensei came back, I had turned the pebble into ice, air, soil, steel, and silver, among a few others.
"How are you doing over here, Higuchi?"
Overexhaustion was not a new obstacle for me, but knowing it was a direct consequence of my Quirk made the thought of it less frightening, perhaps because I could confidently say it wasn't a total fault of mine. I owed that to the years I spent training with my mom.
That said, I still hated when it happened. My head shot up at the sound of Aizawl-sensei's voice, and all of a sudden, I felt lightheaded. Trying all of those transmutations must've pushed me past my limits without notice. In fewer words, I blacked out.
It felt like forever before I opened my eyes again, but when I saw Aizawa-sensei looking down at me with fresh concern, I realized that I had to have regained consciousness within a minute, if not a few seconds. No one else in our vicinity even noticed.
"Are you alright?" Aizawa-sensei asked, adjusting his hand on the back of my head.
I attempted to nod and immediately regretted it. "I will be."
"You didn't take any breaks, did you?"
"… sorry, sensei."
"Don't let it happen again," he sighed, helping me upright. "I wouldn't have assigned this much work if I didn't think you were ready for it, but if my parameters were predicated on inaccurate information regarding your physical and mental state," at that, I received a pointed look. "I'll have no choice but to send you back home."
I tried not to flinch at his admonition. Aizawa-sensei encouraged me to rest my head between my knees, but I insisted on tilting my head back to stare at the sky, at least for a moment. It looked the same as it did this morning, and that gave me a bit of comfort.
"For what it's worth," Aizawa-sensei said after a second. "I know you're trying, Higuchi."
It didn't occur to me just how much I needed to hear those words until he said them to me. Despite his exasperation, admittedly for good reason, I could tell Aizawa-sensei meant it, too. With that thought in mind, I let myself break into a bashful smile.
"Thanks, Aizawa-sensei."
The least I could do for him in return was make a promise and keep it.
Aizawa-sensei excused me fifteen minutes before the rest of the class. After convincing him I could walk on my own without falling face first into the dirt, I made my way back to the dining hall in search of something sweet to snack on.
As other students slowly trickled inside, I saved a seat for myself, casually sipping on a glass of orange juice while waiting for my friends to arrive. Ochako skipped ahead of the crowd, sliding into the chair across from me with a grin.
"How'd you get here so fast?"
"I blacked out."
"Rei!"
"For, like, five seconds," I added.
Ochako tossed her hands up. "Seriously? On the first day of training?"
"What'd I miss?" Kaminari asked, taking a seat beside the brunette. "I could hear your distress call from outside."
The second Ochako puffed her cheeks, I became wary of the next words to come out of her mouth. Luckily, Deku walked over to our table right before she spoke, which distracted her long enough for me to interrupt.
"I made some progress with my Quirk."
Kaminari perked up. "Can I see?"
"It's not a party trick."
"Only because you haven't done it at any parties."
"Guess that depends on the audience," I said, taking the pebble out from my pocket. "Personally, I don't think many people would stick around for it."
As the edges smoothed into a turquoise stone, Kaminari broke into a grin. Aside from his reaction, the transmutation took three seconds, which beat my record during training. Despite my initial instincts, I let myself feel a little proud.
"You're so full of shit," Kaminari said, laughing in good humor.
I couldn't help but smile back. "It's not stupid?"
"Were we staring at the same thing?"
"That's not a 'no.'"
"No," Kaminari said, firmly shaking his head. "It's not stupid at all, Rei."
Ochako leaned across the table, ignoring her reservations, if only for a moment, to give me a one-armed hug. As I dropped my cheek on her shoulder, I became almost overwhelmed by just how much I appreciated all of the support.
"I knew you could do it!" Ochako cheered, pumping a fist into the air.
Deku responded with an equally enthusiastic nod. "When did you learn that?"
"A couple of hours ago."
"During training?"
"This morning, actually."
"You know, I heard a rumor from the grapevine," Kaminari said. "Like, the actual grape, so rest assured I took it with a grain of salt."
"Was it about me hanging out with some of the kids from the other class this morning?" I asked, taking another sip of my juice.
Kaminari dropped the volume of his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Did I just get confirmation straight from the source?"
"Kan-oji asked them to talk to me in case they had any advice about my Quirk."
"I reckon they did."
"You've never used that word in your life."
"Please carry on before I'm forced to feel sorry for myself."
"Well," I said. "It's not quite comparable to scaling mountains, but I reckon it's a start."
Ochako burst into laughter. As Kaminari groaned, I gave Deku a deliberate glance. His Quirk had come such a long way these past few months. Sometimes, I forget I have the privilege of witnessing that progression until I see it firsthand. Like today.
Full Cowl had nearly reached ten percent. To think that the blur I saw speeding over summits this morning sat in front of me now with only a fraction of his power unlocked. Knowing how hard he worked put a prouder smile on my face.
"Don't think I forgot," Ochako said, sobering into a stern glare.
I held my hands up in protest. "Aizawa-sensei cleared me to continue training after lunch."
"I'm still keeping an eye on you!"
"What happened?" Deku asked, looking at us back and forth. "Did Rei pass out again?"
I realized that he said it as a joke when the subsequent silence made his jaw drop. Ochako crossed her arms, trying to keep up the act, but I noticed the corners of her mouth move at his reaction.
"Seriously? On the first day of training?" Kaminari snorted.
Ochako couldn't stifle her giggles any longer. "That's exactly what I said!"
"It was my bad for not taking a break," I said, half-heartedly rolling my eyes. "In my defense, though, I was sitting down the whole time we were out there."
Suddenly, a hand fell on top of my head. It moved to mess up my hair, as if out of habit, but then stopped to give me a soft pat instead. I didn't have to turn around to know who stood behind me.
"Guess it worked out," Todoroki said, looking down at the stone in my hand.
I held it up against the light, absentmindedly marveling at the resemblance to his eyes. "Monoma gave me some pretty good advice after trying out my Quirk."
"Wait," Kaminari said, wrinkling his nose. "Did I hear that correctly? Monoma was your mysterious rendezvous?"
"Please don't ever call it that again," I deadpanned.
Todoroki frowned beside me. "'Mysterious rendezvous?'"
"There's no way you didn't hear what I just said."
"What else am I supposed to call it?"
"Literally anything else?"
"Why'd it have to be him?" Ochako groaned. "I'm still not over what he said to you last night!"
"Yeah, Rei, that was pretty out of pocket," Kaminari quipped.
Deku offered a meek smile. "It was, uh, nice of him to make it up to you, at least?"
"I might've annoyed him into it," I confessed. "Kan-oji asked a couple of other students if they could answer my questions. Monoma just happened to be there when we had the conversation."
"I hope it turned out better than your last," Todoroki muttered.
I couldn't help but snort. "You could say that."
"Did you get the answers you wanted?"
"You could say that, too."
"Glad to hear it."
"So am I," I said, earnestly. "How has today been for all of you so far?"
"I can use my ice for more than twenty minutes now without freezing over," Todoroki said, shrugging.
My smile turned into a knowing smirk. "What about your flames?"
"… they're fine."
"You're so lucky," Ochako said, lips jutting into a pout. "Sparring against Shinsō-kun was a lot of fun, but I had to spend the next hour rolling around in zero gravity, and I still feel like throwing up!"
"If you think that sucks, try getting electrocuted over a dozen times," Kaminari yawned, burying his head into his arms.
I kicked him lightly under the table, receiving a pout in return. "That doesn't even make you loopy anymore."
"It wouldn't kill you to have a little more sympathy for me."
"You don't need it."
"I know, right?" Kaminari said with a grin, dropping the theatrics. "Aizawa-sensei said the amount of voltage I'm able to absorb has doubled since the start of the semester. It's a steeper climb from here, but I'm just happy I haven't hit any diminishing returns."
"You've been working really hard to make sure you don't," Deku said, beaming proudly.
Laughing, Kaminari shook his head. "Like you didn't beast that obstacle course!"
"Did you see Deku-kun go whoosh?" Ochako asked, flailing her arms. "It was so awesome!"
"I was just trying to keep up with Tsuyu-chan," Deku mumbled, flushing an even deeper shade of scarlet.
Todoroki let out a thoughtful hum. "Seems like everyone else will be trying to keep up with you soon enough."
"I wouldn't say that," Deku said, shaking his head. "Does, um, anyone want to grab some food now?"
"Let's act like we don't notice his adorably awkward attempts at taking the attention off him," Kaminari said, hopping to his feet.
Ochako stood up after him, giggling under her breath. "I hope there's ice cream!"
"We should eat a proper meal first," Deku protested. "What about you, Rei? Todoroki-kun?"
"I'll wait," I said, biting back a smile at his sheepishness.
Todoroki nodded lazily, cheek propped against his fist. "Me, too."
"We'll be quick," Deku promised. "Feel free to text me if either of you want anything!"
As Deku hurried after Kaminari and Ochako, I became acutely aware of the boy next to me. In addition to his flames, the afternoon heat caused him to take off the top layer of his uniform, which left him in a white tank top nearly sheer from perspiration. I couldn't look at him without my gaze lingering.
"You're staring."
I could have died on the spot. In fact, I was almost disappointed that I didn't.
"I've been blanking out all day," I said, hoping he accepted the bait.
Todoroki furrowed his brows. "How much sleep did you get last night?"
"Two and a half hours."
"Higuchi—"
"I tried," I said. "And I couldn't."
At some point between now and the night on the rooftop, I caught myself waiting for him to get angry with me. He had a short temper to start, and in the early stages of our friendship, Todoroki never hesitated to show his annoyance when it came to all the things I did that he couldn't understand.
Four months ago, I would've gotten an earful for not sleeping, or even pushing people away. The Todoroki back then might've been a bit of a hypocrite in that sense, but I couldn't blame him. Why would you allow something other than yourself to dictate your life? I couldn't say either of us had an answer.
The Todoroki sitting in front of me did. He knew better than to keep Endeavor as a chip on his shoulder. Aside from a few snippets of residual doubt, his decisions seldom came from a place of guilt or resentment. Todoroki finally put himself first. I was afraid to disappoint him by doing the same.
Because it wasn't the same.
My selfishness was self-sabotaging. I was always quite aware of that, but I didn't know if it made things better or worse. I wanted to do better. On more than one occasion, I tried to convince myself I could, but I never believed it as much as everyone else did. Even now, I felt like I was stuck in the middle.
Between texts sent at four in the morning and missed calls before noon, I gave him every opportunity to give up on me. He never did. I could tell when he felt frustrated, but Todoroki never expressed his concerns in a way that made me feel bad about it. What had I done to deserve his kindness?
"You can borrow my shoulder again," he said, breaking a split-second of silence.
The corners of my mouth twitched. "You've been saying that a lot."
"It helps you sleep."
"I don't know if I should keep depending on your shoulder for that."
"Why not?" Todoroki asked, affronted. "You said it was comfortable."
The answer to my aforementioned question was that I didn't. As it was, I didn't deserve Todoroki at all. I also knew, based on the blatant betrayal on his expression, that he translated what I just told him as I don't know if I should keep depending on you. Miscommunication was always a very possible issue with me and him as individuals. I wanted to make sure it never was with us.
"I don't want to get to a point where the only way I can fall asleep is with you around," I admitted.
He frowned, still a little miffed. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Except after curfew."
"… oh."
"Thanks for offering," I said, nudging his side. "I'll take you up on it again when I sort things out on my end."
I tried to ignore the warmth of his skin, but I couldn't deny that it brought me comfort. It wasn't only Todoroki either. As an introvert, it never occurred to me just how often I wanted to be in the presence of other people. And then I thought back to earlier in the morning when Momo helped me with my hair.
There was no denying physical touch climbed up the list of my love languages. I wouldn't say I minded, but the mere idea of it still felt so alien. Maybe it was a reminder that distance really did make the heart grow fonder. Little things like that meant a lot to me these days, especially after going so long without them.
"Have you told Uraraka? Or Yaoyorozu?" Todoroki asked.
"Told them what?"
"That you sleep better when you have someone next to you."
I shook my head, frowning. "I just told you I don't want to depend on other people for that."
"You told me you don't want to depend on my shoulder," he said, wryly. "Yaoyorozu and Uraraka share a cabin with you. Maybe they can help you catch up on some sleep, even just for this week."
"Our beds aren't big enough for that to be comfortable," I mumbled after a moment.
Todoroki poked my forehead. "I don't think that would matter to them."
"It matters to me."
"Why?"
"Because this isn't anyone else's problem."
"You're our friend," Todoroki said. "Just because it's not our problem doesn't mean it's not important to us. It is. Because you are."
His frown deepened, shoulders tensed as if ready to argue further, but I couldn't fault him for that. Not when I still felt his sincerity with every word. If nothing else, he deserved the same from me.
"I keep waiting for you to change your mind," I murmured.
Todoroki shook his head. "I won't."
"How are you so sure?"
"I'm always sure when it's you," he said. "That's our thing, isn't it?"
I hadn't realized I averted my gaze until our eyes met again. This time, I looked at him, searching for any traces of doubt. Todoroki nudged me back, gentle and warm, and all I could see at that moment was him.
"Yeah," I said with a smile. "It is."
"Where is your leader?"
In lieu of responding, the man clicked his tongue, revealing a capsule of cyanide. Before it burst in his mouth, Mikoto coiled a string of shadows around his neck. It rendered him unconscious, but kept him alive, untouched by the suicide pill she had subsequently discarded into a black hole.
Relocating to Shihoshi would have made the interrogations so much easier, but she knew Tsukauchi needed her on site at all times. With several dozen officers in tow, they stormed the Yokohama warehouse, intercepting the next shipment of drugs and seizing the rest of their supply. The Pro Heroes, however, spread thin.
As the police rounded up the workers, Mikoto—on her own—scoured the property for the child presumably known to those in the higher ranks as the Shie Hassaikai heiress. The floors above ground showed no traces of her presence, prompting the Number Three Hero to continue the search elsewhere.
Her descent to the basement proved largely disappointing until Mikoto sensed the same spatial properties that concealed the Tokyo laboratory in plain sight. To her irritation, the caster made certain to smooth out any cracks in an already impressive defense, and she struggled to pinpoint the seal.
If the League and the Yakuza came into possession of something they valued more than both Trigger and the unnamed drug, or if they discovered that Mikoto and Edgeshot had infiltrated the lab in Tokyo, they must have anticipated another ambush. And yet, they still allowed themselves to get caught.
"It's a distraction," she said in realization, urgency evident in her tone.
Tsukauchi was the first to reply, implying that they had finished their job on the surface. "What do you mean?"
"Whoever concealed the lab in Tokyo has stowed away something of significance here as well, but this seal is stronger, more secure," Mikoto said, drowning the room in darkness. "What could they possibly prioritize over an ongoing operation if not their own self-preservation?"
"Are you saying ranking members of the League and the Shie Hassaikai are somewhere in the building right now?"
"Not if they're smart."
"We established a ten kilometer perimeter."
"Escape is far from impossible with a warper at their disposal."
"There's one way to know for certain," Tsukauchi said. "Have you located the seal?"
It took longer than she wanted to admit. For a moment, Mikoto wondered if their enemies managed to flee after all, but then she stumbled upon the switch in an isolated dimension, buried deep in the depths of static debris. Despite the significant discovery, she minded her options.
The seal swallowed up such a substantial area that the caster would know in a matter of seconds when she severed it, leaving them with a microscopic window of opportunity. When she explained as much to Tsukauchi, he replied to her without hesitation.
"We made our choice when we accepted this mission."
Mikoto could only agree.
As soon as she broke the seal, the ground disappeared, but the darkness at her feet kept her from falling into the resulting chasm. Although the upper floors remained intact, the shouts in her earpiece confirmed that those on the surface felt the fissure, too.
"Extend the perimeter another ten kilometers," she said. "The warehouse was a front for more than just the drugs. It seems we've stumbled into the lion's den, and I've now alerted them of their prey."
postscript
have u ever been excited to try something and thought u would be good at it only to suck because it actually requires time and effort but instead of practicing u give up on it forever due to ur crippling anxiety making ur self-esteem crumble after failing to achieve absolute perfection on the first attempt? ya same
(btw the next chapter is finished) (it's literally the other half of this one but i didn't want to post a 17k chapter like a psycho lmao) (on the bright side it won't take three months for the next update) (also if u want to listen to the hsc playlists u can find them on my spotify) (thank u for reading)