Disclaimer: The A-Team and all characters belong to Stephen J Cannell and Universal Studios.

Author's Notes:

1. The lizard in question is the Tokay gecko, the call of which really does sound like 'Fuck you' (and reportedly even more so when heard through the jungle at night). The troops in Vietnam couldn't believe it and immediately christened it the Fuck-You Lizard.
2. I really feel like BA just wouldn't swear.


"Fuck you!" shouted a large fuck-you lizard from the wall as Hannibal swung open the door. BA glowered at it.

"Ain't no call for that!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Ray dropped his medkit on the bunk and went to fetch his entrenching tool to knock the lizard down with. A grin flashed across Hannibal's face.

"You know, you shouldn't take it so personally, BA."

"Come on - outta here." Ray poked the lizard a couple times, and it fell to the floor to sit, momentarily frozen. He scooped it up with the shovel and dropped it out of the nearest window. A few more half-hearted fuck yous could be heard before petering out and disappearing beneath the twenty-four hour scream and rumble of the base.

"I ain't being cussed at by no lizard in my own hooch, Hannibal!"

Hannibal shrugged. "I like to think of them as the real Nam reception committee. They're the only ones here who are going to tell you the truth."