This happens a little after All I Ever Wanted but before Bound To You
Matt could say that he didn't blame Will for what Nerissa did while wearing her, but that didn't stop his involuntary reactions to her touch when it was just a little too similar to a way Nerissa had touched him. It didn't stop the panic attacks and tears when something triggered a flashback to his abuse on Mount Thanos. And it didn't stop Will from feeling awful, even as Matt clutched at her in the aftermath and promised that he didn't hold it against her.
The worst part of it was learning more about Matt's abuse as she discovered things that set off the panic attacks. Biting too hard, any sort of restraint on him, if Will even so much as got on top of him in the wrong way or pulled too hard on his clothes. They'd quickly have to backtrack and calm Matt down, breaking the mood and setting both parties on edge.
"I hate this," Matt finally said through tears one night.
Will stroked his hair from where he was pressed against her chest. "You just need time," She said, trying to be optimistic, but feeling hopeless.
Matt flopped back onto his back in frustration. "It was a year ago, I should be fine!" He snapped.
"It wasn't just something trivial," Will said, "I mean, Matt, you were…" She cut herself off, not wanting to say it. It was something they had both acknowledged, but neither had actually said the word. "I mean, multiple times by someone wearing my face…"
Matt scoffed, laying an arm over his face. Then he started chuckling. "God, I am so fucking broken."
Will shifted to grab his face, and Matt flinched, and then swore. "Fuck! I hate this!"
"Matt, it's okay," Will ran her thumb over his cheek and Matt grabbed her wrists.
"Don't… don't touch me right now," He whispered.
Will fell back, nodding. No one else knew except for her at this point. Napoleon could probably guess after Matt's panic attack, and Huggles had likely been there for it. But other than that, Matt was going through this trauma alone.
"I just wish I knew how to help you," Will said, wringing her hands together. Matt looked like he was barely holding himself together and on track for another panic attack, but she was afraid to touch him, afraid of what her touch might set off. She hated that Nerissa still affected her life, so long after she had been contained, and that she had done it by hurting one of the most important people in Will's life.
When the silence between them reached an almost uncomfortable point, Will offered, "Maybe you should see someone. A therapist or something."
Matt laughed mockingly. Will's heart hurt that someone could make her normally laid back boyfriend so bitter. "And tell them what? Hi, I'm Matt. I'm a bit messed up because a year ago I was kidnapped and mind controlled by a power hungry witch who would torture and rape me in her spare time!" His voice rose to a shout at the end that broke into a sob.
Will froze at Matt trembled with his outburst. He had finally said it.
Matt, too, seemed to have realized what he said. "Oh God, she raped me. Fuck, I was raped, oh God, oh God…" He gripped tightly at his hair as his breathing picked up and Will could tell he was working himself into a panic attack. Will moved to pull him into her arms, and didn't pull back at the massive, full body shudder that evoked from him.
"It's okay Matt, you're safe now, you're going to be okay," She held him close as tears budded in her own eyes. What could she do?
Yeah, I was reading over Bound To You the other day and was thinking relatively how smoothly that sex scene went. Sex isn't always that smooth given Matt's history so I wanted that addressed.