19Hayate's Master Plan FFNET
Author: MoonStarDutchess
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction.
I once heard a human say "home is where the heart is." Though home is my favorite place in the world, this place is a close second. Ever since that evil guy stopped being fuhrer and my mommy's grandpa took over, I've been able to come to work with her every single day.
The flame man brought me a nice dog bed and set it next to my mommy's desk so I could have a place to rest. He has said more than once that he loves dogs, and he proved it by bringing me a bed and sneaking me treats and pieces of his dinner when he thinks she isn't looking.
But Mommy knows everything he does.
Oh, I should introduce myself. My name is Hayate. That pretty, blond bitch sitting at the table is my mommy. Her name used to be First Lieutenant Hawkeye, but it was changed to Captain Hawkeye a few months ago. I don't have a daddy yet. The man beside my mommy is the flame man, though she calls him many things. I've heard her call him Roy, Mustang, sir, and general. When she's angry, she calls him arrogant asshole or stubborn moron.
The flame man is dating my mommy. I have decided he's suitable for being my new daddy, so I have come up with a plan to make it happen.
A month ago, he got this pretty, shiny thing. I think it's a human collar of some kind since I see some people wearing them on their paws. I've seen women be very happy when they get one from the man. After that, they start living together. I would like for us to live with the flame man. If he gives the collar he got to mommy, he'd be my new daddy and we could all live in the same place.
Sometimes I see him humping mommy when they don't close the bedroom door, so I think he got it for her. Nothing says love like humping.
But he's taking way too long to give her the collar, so I have decided that today is the day.
My knees pop a little when I stand because I've been resting almost all day. Neither of them notices me move as I walk over to stand beside my mommy.
She doesn't know I'm here, so I have to take extreme measures. I have to do something I hate to do.
I whine like a puppy. It usually gets her attention right away, but this time she only reaches down and pats me on the head. Her focus stays on her paper work. I wanted to get her to walk over to flame man's desk!
This is going to be harder than I thought.
I walk behind their chairs and do the same thing to my future daddy. He looks at me with a surprised look. I don't show him this kind of attention very often. I put my paw on his leg and give him the puppy eyes I learned from the other dogs at the dog park. It never works on mommy, but flame man is a sucker for it.
"I think Hayate wants something, Captain. He's trying to get my attention, and that usually only happens when I give him food."
What I want is for you to give mommy that shiny collar in the box that you keep in your desk!
"That's odd. He just ate an hour ago. He usually doesn't whine or act like this when he's hungry either."
And that would be because I'm not hungry.
She stands up and goes over to her desk to get me a treat.
Humans are impossible. If a dog wants something done, he needs to do it himself. Not that I wouldn't want a treat, but that's for later.
I snort and walk over to flame man's desk. He doesn't use it very often since he has so much paperwork. Right now, he and my mommy do their work at a long table in the middle of the room.
I pull his desk drawer open.
"There aren't any treats in there, Hayate," he says and shoots to his feet just as I snatch the box with the shiny human finger collar and run it over to my mommy.
Daddy tries to follow me but he stumbles over a stack of paperwork before he can catch me. He's acting like I took his favorite chew toy or something. If he didn't want me to get it, he should've buried it and peed on the dirt to hide the smell.
"Hayate!" he says with a half scolding and half panicked tone.
"What's this?" Mommy says and takes the box from my mouth. She opens it. I think the collar is ugly, and it doesn't even have a bell, but she seems to like it and that's what matters the most. "Wha…What is this, sir?"
Flame man sighs and walks over to her. "I guess Hayate was impatient."
"Is this what I think it is?"
My mommy is clearly stunned since she asked such a stupid question. Mommy doesn't make it a habit of being stupid.
He removes the shiny collar from the box, kneels, and slides the ring upon her finger. "Will you marry me, Riza?"
She kisses him in answer.
"I don't understand why they only lick each other in the bedroom, but they kiss in public and at home. Humans are confusing.
When they stop their kissing thing, my future daddy turns to me.
"Thanks Hayate," he says and bends down to scratch my ears. "I'll give you a steak this evening."
At least he's grateful. Dog only knows when he'd ask her if I hadn't set things in motion.
I bark in acceptance and go back over to my bed to rest, happy that my plan has been accomplished.
Next up is for them to have puppies!
RW: 2022