As Hiccup landed, Dagur spotted something that interested him.

"Are those…children, brother? Was I gone for that long?" Dagur chuckled but was really surprised. Hilde and Sigrid really did look like they could be Hiccup and Astrid's children, well, from afar at least.

"Ack! No!" Hiccup dismounted Toothless as Sigrid and Hilde ran into his arms.

"Hiccup! Help us!" Hilde shrieked and looked genuinely terrified. Sigrid, who was normally calm, was looking around frantically as she clung to Hiccup like it was life or death if she let go.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Astrid! She-," Hilde started, before suddenly freezing and observed up the stranger armed to the teeth before hiding behind him.

"Oi!" Dagur exclaimed as Sigrid climbed him like a tree and settled herself on his back and Hilde clung to his legs.

"What's-," Hiccup started before his hair stood up and he shiver involuntarily.

Not a second later, he spotted Astrid stomping down the hill with her axe in hand, a murderous expression on her face.

Dagur's eyes widened in surprise, suddenly interested in the two children who managed to make the shield maiden angry.

"Those children, they-arghhh!" Astrid screamed in fury launching at them, only to be blocked by Hiccup stepping in her way. Dagur stood a protective step forward, for some reason unknown to him, before realizing the children were attached to him, then he took a few steps away from Astrid.

Hiccup took in her appearance in surprise, then wrinkled his nose in disgust at Astrid's smell.

She was wet with some sticky, smelly, greenish-brown sludge and her hair, face, and clothes were covered in soot and slightly singed.

"Ech!" Hiccup gagged and took steps back, to which Astrid dropped her axe and punched Hiccup straight in the stomach making his back-wing pop open and double-over in pain.

"That was for getting in my way and this-," Astrid broke off to grab her axe and dropped the butt of it on Hiccup's skull making him groan. "Is for being disgusted."

Astrid crossed her arms and looked angrily at Dagur, who raised an eyebrow.

"Move." She growled out, which made Dagur smile. He hoisted Sigrid higher up on his back and laughed.

He laughed long and hard Sigrid joining in, sounding almost as deranged as him as Hilde watched in horror as it seemed her protector and sister had gone insane.

"Whooo! I haven't had a good laugh like that in a while. This small child….," Dagur trailed off nodded his head as Sigrid nodded with him and smiled. Honest to the gods smiled. With teeth.

Taken aback Astrid's nostrils flared and she started to say something when suddenly she stopped, the anger draining out of her and called for Stormfly. She saw their terrified faces, or rather one terrified face from Hilde and one cautious, yet delighted face from Sigrid from Dagur's whispering, which was somehow worse and made her feel oddly guilty.

Stormfly came immediately but shrieked and almost threw tail spikes at her.

"Ah! Wait, w-wait! Stormfly. This is, mmm, this is Astrid." Hiccup picked himself up, shaking his head, groaning.

Stormfly calmed down and landed but kept a safe distance away from Astrid because of the, yep you guessed it, eel.

Sighing, Astrid shot one last dirty look towards Dagur and the children before stomping off.

Hiccup wheezed and climbed aboard Toothless who was watching the whole exchange highly entertained.

"Alright bud. Let's go home. Dagur, I'll take them to the house you can go around and do whatever you came here for."

Dagur smiled broadly before shaking his head.

"That is generous brother, but I've taken a liking to the little one. The other one isn't so bad, either, I guess. I'll take them home." Dagur chuckled making Sigrid squeal in delight and Hilde smile, surprisingly quiet.

Hiccup mulled it over and finally nodded. Dagur wasn't a bad guy…anymore. Plus, he would never hurt a kid. A full-grown adult. Definitely. A teenager. Probably, but never a kid. At least, Hiccup didn't think so.

"Fine, just take them to the house, I need to…go lie down." Hiccup blinked tiredly.

"Of course, brother. Now go get some nappy time. I'll get them home safe and sound." Dagur said, mischievously.

So, Hiccup left and Dagur was alone with the girls.

Once Hiccup was finally out of sight, Dagur's eyes lit up with excitement.

"So, have you met the twins, yet?"

Six hours and thirty-eight…thirty-nine minutes later, Dagur burst into the late chief's home with one giggling child perched on his shoulders and another half-asleep one in his arms.

Nessa who had been stress baking immediately rushed to the children and strange man holding them.

"Who," She glared pointing her kitchen tool at Dagur who smirked, and his eyes glimmered with excitement. "Are yew?"

"Dagur the Deranged, my darling. Are these your offspring? They are very-," Dagur tried to continue, but found an iron pan under his chin, pressed against his throat, and a very angry mother glaring holes into his skull.

"Aye said, who are yew?"

"No mama! Don't hurt him!" Sigrid screeched with her sparsely used voice, waking up her sister who was puzzled at the scene in front of her and wiggled out of Dagur's arms.

From shock Nessa's grip on the pan faltered and the pan clattered to the floor. Narrowly missing Dagur's foot as he took a careful step back.

Dagur smiled, softly this time and gently took the little girl down from her perch. She, with a determined face, put her arms out to "protect" Dagur from her mother.

"Sigrid?" Nessa asked, her strong accent becoming softer. "Aye wouldn't hurt him. Aye'm sorry."

Sigrid pursed her lips and nodded hesitantly, glancing at Dagur then her kneeling mother.

Nessa smiled, but her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What did you say yer name was?"

"Dagur that Deranged, darling. Your offspring… quite the children you have. Where is their father?" Dagur smirked, taking a few steps forward, making a shiver go down Nessa's spine.

"Dead." She replied lifting her chin as they both made their way to the kitchen counter. Nessa was blindly taking steps back as she gazed into Dagur's eyes with confusion. Dagur, however, had a purpose he wished to fulfill, the children in the room irrelevant.

Once Dagur got her to the counter he cupped her face, albeit gentile his hands were still rough and callused. Her eyes widened in surprise just as Eret threw open the door with flowers in his hands.

"Nes…," His voice trailed off as he saw Nessa's widened eyes, flushed cheeks, and man hands on her face. The man, to who the hands belonged, smirked as his head turned slowly around to meet Eret's gaze.

Previously, they both had met one another and neither liked was they knew about each other. Eret seemed like a pompous jerk who was once a dragon trapper up until recently as well as a narcissistic pig who went through women like Hiccup went through inventions. Dagur was an egotistical, deranged maniac who loved violence. As you can see, they wouldn't get along very well.

"Oi!" Nessa finally exclaimed, taking Dagur's hands off of her face, turning towards Eret. She started to walk towards him when an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into a solid wall of weapons and muscle.

As Nessa tried to speak, Eret was only looking at Dagur and vise versa, both having a mental battle about what to do with the woman they both wished they could have. Nessa, not having that cheesy description I just wrote, stamped on Dagur's foot and grabbed her children's hands, who were looking at the scene with rapt fascination, to take them to the Mead Hall for dinner and to find Hiccup who had run off hours ago.

Eret smirked and offered his hand to Dagur, who in turn spit on his and clasped hands. The black-haired man winced in disgust before shaking Dagur's hand as they both watched the foreign woman walk away.

This would probably end in a not-so-pretty fight to the death and they both anticipated it with bated breath.

*So, are you enjoying this cheesy chapter. I literally can't believe I actually wrote this. I'm so disappointed in myself, but at the same time I have woken up before 7 am to finish because I thought I finished this weeks ago and I did not. I hope you enjoyed it and laughed at my terrible work! Please leave your worst review and no follows or favorites! I'm joking please don't do that. I would probably start crying…again.*