18Burns and Bullet Holes: Royai Angst Collection
Author: MoonStarDutchess
Story 4: His Obsidian Gaze - Version B
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction.
AN: The original fiction of this is old. I originally had it posted as an oneshot but I'm cleaning up my account and putting some of my shorter Oneshots in these collections. This is the original version that I had up years ago with some added fluff.
The first time I saw his dark eyes was when he came to train under my father. They were the first of their kind to me. The first eyes I ever saw that weren't blue, green, or brown. They were also a different shape than I was used to. They were filled with frustration, anger, and the raindrops descending from the midnight sky. They were eyes that seemed so bottomless that I wouldn't stare into them for long out of fear of being lost in them. For the entire time he lived with my father and me, I never made eye contact, choosing instead to look at his nose or forehead. If he knew of my avoidance, he never let me know it.
When he came back on the day my father died, I met them again. Unspeakable mourning and a thousand apologies shot out at me and dragged me into his sight like magnets. Then I jerked away and avoided looking again, much like I did when I was younger. I wasn't a helpless little girl like he believed me to be. I didn't want to see the pity or condolences I knew resided within the blackness. It was when I gave him the secrets to flame alchemy that I first realized I didn't have to stare into them to feel their glare. As he memorized the secrets, engulfing the red lines on my back, it was as if I could feel his regard burning along the pattern my father seared into my flesh. If he could do that by merely staring, then he was destined for flame alchemy.
I saw him again in Ishbal. I kept my sights on his face only, still not having the courage to make eye contact with him. It wasn't a fear of losing myself in them this time, or to see frustration, anger, or pity. I knew his eyes carried the same haunted look as mine did. Eyes of a killer would reflect back the fact I helped create a murderer and became one myself. For a short period, I contemplated putting a bullet between his eyes, then doing the same to myself.
Through my years as his subordinate, I never looked into them. I made it appear as if I was, and I thought he never noticed. I'd become an expert at fooling people. I made them think I was cold. I made them think I was the perfect officer. I made them believe I didn't feel human emotions like everyone else. I thought I had him fooled.
I didn't.
"Look me in the eyes, Riza." My heartbeat increased in its pace to the point I could hear each thump in my ears like a steady drumbeat. I couldn't. I wanted to meet his obsidian gaze, but if I did, I would see my mistake staring at me. I'd see one dark eye and an eye patch covering my failure.
I could understand why he left Central and went to the northern outpost. For leaving a woman who could never look into both eyes because of her damn insecurities, fear, and incompetence.
I felt that if I looked I would see blame in his stare.
He took his hand and lifted my chin so my head was directly facing toward his. If I looked straight ahead, our eyes would meet; I directed my attentions elsewhere. He moved my bangs away from my eyes and I felt myself blush at the intimate gesture. I almost shouted with surprise when he pulled me against him. We were in the middle of a cleanup, the area was crowded with military personnel, and most were now staring at us.
"People are watching," I said, trying to get him to stop this public display. As much as I wanted it, now was not the proper time.
"Look me in the eyes," he stated again.
"Now's not the time."
"Riza Hawkeye, I love you."
My eyes jerked to his before I could think about what I was doing. Then I was trapped. As I stared into his eye, I didn't see any of the emotions my mind told me I would. There was no pity or condolences. I didn't see a murderer or any blame being pushed at me. Despite everything that happened throughout our years together, the only thing I saw was unconditional love.
"Finally you look at me for real," he said, his voice touched with a gentle lilt. "It's about time."
"You knew?"
"Yes," he said and then moved his lips over mine. I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn't care about the soldiers watching us or about the place or the time. All I cared about was Roy Mustang.
When we pulled away, I whispered my feelings to him, affirming everything through my gaze.
Which never left his.
AN: As you can see, this one is based off the first series and the movie and a bit of brotherhood too. I'm a huge fan of the first series everything from the music to the art consistency (not the art overall) is better for me. We got some great though tiny Royai in it too. But, I despise the movie with the power of a 1000 suns. I admit that I contemplated on where to put it. Since Riza was so nervous, I decided angst collection might be a good fit, though I could see this in my romance collection as well. Anyway, I hoped you liked it. Please tell me what you think if you have the time. If not I'll see you next time I hope.