This took me way longer than I thought. I'm horrible at oneshots, but I'm steadily improving. Also, if you like this story, I'm willing to turn this concept into a oneshot series. Just comment on which book you would like me to write about below! Enjoy!

[EDIT: Thank you to everyone who wrote a review for this! I read every one and they always bring a smile to my face. :) ]


At first, it was dark, and then there was suddenly a burst of light.

"Woah... Wh-where am I? Wh-what world is this? Is this Olympus? Am...am I truly home?"

It felt the sensation of being lifted into the air. And a swell of panic consumed its thoughts.

"Is this the end? Laying here motionless for days on end in this pitch-black abyss that is worse than even Tartarus itself... and suddenly boom! Thanatos comes to lead me to the underworld."

The light finally started to slowly fade away to show a young girl. She looked down at the panicked soul with interest as her eyes scanned the pages. This, however, gave it no comfort, it only felt more panicked.

"Ah! What are you?! Who are you? Are you a mortal, a god, or gods forbid, a monster?! I-I don't understand."

The girl's face brightened the longer she looked at the frightened thing. Her green eyes slowly scanned it from top to bottom. She smiled widely at what she found.

Suddenly, there was darkness again.

"Huh? What just happened? What's going on…?"

Then it was in motion. It was fast enough to cause the quivering pages to grow nauseous, and the movement was so unusual that it quickly became terrified.

"Oh no, no, no, no! I'm going to die in shadow travel! Oh, what did I do to deserve this fate? I only sat still! I've never harmed another soul! Why me?"

The motion stopped.

"Oh thank the gods!"

Then it heard a new sound that it had never before heard.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look at this! Can I get it? Please, please, please?"

"Wh-what is a 'mommy' some evil goddess? Why do you let them control you? Are you a servant of the gods? I'm confused… Am Igoing to die?"

Then another odd noise responded. It was a little softer and deeper.

"Sure, sweetie. Just calm down, please. People are watching."

"So the strange creature's name is 'sweetie'? Interesting… Wait, do I have a name? I don't think so...but I do remember something...what was it?"

It's thought process was interrupted by a high-pitched squeal.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Ow! That was loud. How is it possible to make such a horrid screech! Is this creature a harpy sent to—Whaaah!"

It was suddenly being pressed against something...squishy.

"Am I sinking? Is this a liquid or solid…?"

The girl cuddled it to her chest in glee as she started running to the cash register in excitement.

"Ahhhh! This shadow travel is truly horrid! This is the end I can tell!"

Then it stopped as a beeping noise rang out.

"Ugh...what is that? I just want to go back to sitting still in the darkness of Chaos. Everything was so much quieter."

"Hello, little miss! Would you like to buy that book?"

"Is...is that what I am? A 'book'? Then what book am I? The Iliad, Oedipus Rex, the Odyssey? And if I'm a book...what realm is this?"

The mother smiled apologetically at the cashier. "I'm sorry, she's just excited about getting a new book. Ever since she finished reading one for school she has been begging me to buy her one." The cashier only smiled as if she could identify with the feeling. She took the book and scanned it.

"Ugh, great. Now I'm upside down. Is this some type of torture chamber?"

"Okay so that will be…$11.99 but for this eager reader how about I give you a discount of $3 off?" The little girl smiled widely at the compliment and turned to see her mom smiling as well at the kind gesture.

"Thank you! That is very kind of you!" she said, paying quickly.

The cashier just nodded with a small smile. "You're very welcome."

"These creatures sound kind… but it must be a mask. After all the torture I've endured, they simply cannot suddenly be caring."

Suddenly the book felt itself being stuffed into a small space.

"Great! More suffocation!"


Finally, a bright light shone through the darkness once more.

"Wow, that is bright! Well, let's see. Where do I reside now?"

The book looked around to see a small room. Much smaller than any that it has ever been in. There was a bed close to the wall and there was a bookcase in front of the wall opposite its current resting place. There was a desk next to a window covered in crayon drawings of flowers. The room wasn't what the book had been expecting. Instead of a torture chamber, it saw oddly shaped boxes that looked much like itself scattered around. The room was bright with light coming from the windows, escaping through the blue curtains.

"What is this... Is this the harpy's living quarters? I did not know they had more than nests of twigs! And why do they have a hole in the wall with bright light...wait… It's a window! I've never seen one like it. Why would a harpy have a window? If this is a typical home, where is the stone? Is this harpy rich? Wait! This must be Hades' throne room! Oh no! I'm not ready for judgment! I cannot face the fields of punishment!"

The young girl walked back into the room.

"Away foul beast! I will not submit to your torture!"

The girl smiled as she spotted the new book she left open on her desk chair.

"There you are! I can't wait to read Percy Jackson! I've heard it's a wonderful story!"

"Percy Jackson? Is my name Percy Jackson? It does sound familiar…"

The book searched its pages, refreshing its mind with the contents it held within.

"Oh... Everything makes much more sense now. So this is the 21st century? It is interesting. I see now that I have just been purchased by a little girl. Well, this experience should be exciting. I wonder if she is a demigod... She must be if she can read my contents."

The girl grabbed the book and sat down on the bed.

"Ugh, I'm starting to really hate shadow travel."

The girl turned on the lamp on her bedside table and reopened the book skimming over the acknowledgments page and laughing at the table of contents.

"I can tell that you and I will get along just nicely."

"Hmm, I wouldn't bet on that demigod... But we'll see."

The girl's green eyes finally found the first page. "Now to read chapter one…"

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood…


(Time skip to 1 year later. Yay if people are reading this!)

"It had been about a year since the girl had bought me (At a popular book store called Barnes & Noble I later discovered.) It turns out she was right. We did get along wonderfully. While that fact that she couldn't hear me did cause a bridge in our relationship, we had soon become best friends. She read me daily, even when school started and most of her time was spent away, and she was constantly occupied with homework. (I will admit that I felt a little jealous when I saw her bring back bigger books than me. I mean, she was constantly reading them! What could they have that is so much more interesting than me! Um, sorry I digress.)"

"She's entering middle school this year, which means longer time away and more school work. I hope she won't forget me… I know she is already moving on to the next few books in the series, but hopefully, she'll still flip through my pages now and then with a smile."

The book internally smiled, since it was you know a book, as it reminisced on the past year.

Suddenly a loud noise was heard. "Ugh, I still hate how noisy it is to be with a human. (I had discovered that she was not a real demigod since no monsters came to attack her, and she didn't go to any demigod camp.) But I am glad she's back."

"Hey, mom! I'm home!" The book heard the excited patter of footsteps as the mother came to coddle the young girl after her first day of middle school.

"Hi, honey! How was it? Were the other kids nice? Do you like your teachers? Do you have anything for me to sign? We probably need to go shopping for supplies too! Oh, my little girl is all grown up! I must take a picture…"

"Ugh! She's ranting again. I'm just going to block her out."

Eventually, the girl escapes her overly excited mother and enters the room, placing her new book bag on the floor and coming to lay on her bed with a sigh of relief.

"I'm so glad school's over. I wish it was still summer… Oh well. What should I do now?"

"Read me!"

The girl was silently scanning the room when something compelled her eyes to land on one special book in her open bookcase.

"Maybe I should read over The Lightning Thief. For old times sake."

"Ah, you know me so well."

She walked over to the bookcase taking out the book with care as she didn't want everything to fall out...again.

"Yeah, that wasn't a good day. I was lost on the floor for like 2 hours!"

She opened the book and turned to her favorite chapter to refresh her memory.

"Ah, this is the life."


Sadly "the life" didn't stay like that for very long. Once school started to become more hectic the girl opened her bookcase less, and less. The book was slowly getting used to the constant groans of anguish and endless darkness. Then one day it all changed...for the worst or the better, who knows…

"Mom! I got a new book from the school library!"

"Wait, say what now?"

"That's nice sweetie, you can read it after you finish your homework."

"They didn't give us any homework today! It was Fun Friday!"

"Yes! No more reading those old dusty books instead of me!"

"Oh, that's nice of them. Well, have fun reading."

"I will!"

The book heard the door swing open and close loudly, it was slowly getting used to how noisy it was there, and the girl walked straight to her bookcase.

"Finally! I can't wait to see the world again! Since she hasn't read me for so long, I bet she won't be able to stop reading!"

Yeah...that didn't happen.

Instead of grabbing the book, she went straight for her special Harry Potter Movie Franchise bookmark and went to lay down on her bed with another book.

"Hey! What does she think she's doing? What about me!? And what is that! I've never seen that book before! Why is it so special?"

"I'm so glad I found this! I've been searching for another book in the series forever! Now to read Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters!"

"Woah! Are you telling me that she bought a new Percy Jackson book to replace me? I can't believe this! After all that we've been through, she's done with me."

The following weekend was absolute torture. The girl barely even looked at the lonely book in her bookcase, let alone open it. The rare moments she did open the book it was only for a second to refresh her memory before it was forgotten again for the new book instead. The new book seemed to only relish in the new-found attention it was receiving.

One time when the girl was out at school and left both books out on her desk the book confronted its new opponent on the issue.

"So, who do you think you are?"

"Well, the best book in this house of course!

"Um, excuse you—"

"Oh! I'm so sorry! That was rude and untrue…"

The book certainly wasn't expecting this type of answer.

"Um, okay then... I guess you're forgi—"

"I'm actually the best book in the world."

Now the book was even more confused and getting more agitated by the second

"In what way was that statement supposed to make me feel better?"

It asked this in an annoyed, sarcastic tone while the other book only answered in a smug I'm-better-than-you-and-we-both-know-it tone.

"Well, I didn't want you to think that it was only you that I'm better than! I want you to know that I'm better than you and all other books. So you aren't alone in your inadequacy!"

The book, internally, snorted at this response.

"Ah yes, and the most humble."

"Yep!"

After that conversation, the book decided to just ignore the other and wait patiently for the girl to come home and separate them so they never have to speak to each other again.


Another year had passed and the book was just on the shelf collecting dust.

Then one day…

The bookcase suddenly opened.

"Finally some attention!"

But instead of something being taken out, a new book was shoved in and then all away dark once more.

"Wait no! Don't leave me!"

But this time it was another book pleading to be recognized.

"Is that you? The Sea of Monsters?"

"Uh...no it's Bob?"

Yeah, it was Sea of Monsters alright.

"What are you doing here?!"

The other book was silent before slowly speaking in a quiet tone.

"I— uh, she—um, She finished reading me…"

"Oh...you to huh?"

"Yeah... I guess we're in the same boat now."

The next few days the two got to know each other and realized they had a lot in common. (Which makes sense since they were written by the same author. They're practically siblings.)

"You know...life like this isn't that bad now that I have a friend."

"Yeah, I feel the same way."


"WHY?!"

"AH! I'm awake, I'm awake! What happened? Oh gods, is the house on fire! Please no! I'm not ready to die! There are so many other books I wanted to see! I never got married... I never got the chance to start a family! Oh no, I'm not ready for you Thanatos! I need more ti—"

"For gods', sakes man! Pull it together! The house isn't on fire!"

"... It isn't?"

"No, it isn't."

"Then what was the cause of the loud terrifying noise?"

"I don't know…"

"It was worse than the screams of agony in the Fields of Punishment! It saddens shivers down my spine (oddly enough, that expression works quite well in this scenario since books indeed have spines. Okay continue.) as cold as ice! Whatever caused that wretched sound must have been the most agonizing torture imaginable!"

"What I'd like to know is what type of creature could make such a noise?"

Suddenly the bookcase flew open and the answer to both their questions was right in front of them.

"WHY RICK? WHY?!"

"Oh, crap…"

"What is that…?"

"It's a distressed teenage girl, my friend."

"Wow... I've never seen one up close...do they all look this scary?"

"Yep."

"What sort of pain could have created this tormented creature?!"

"There is only one thing that can cause this much angst, anger, and depression."

"... What?"

"Character death."

"NOT BIANCA, NOT ZOЁ TOO!"

The girl suddenly lunged out for the Lightning Thief.

"AH! I'M GOING TO DIE! SHE WILL BURN ME TO ASHES! HELP!"

"HANG ON! YOU CAN STILL SURVIVE THIS!"

"AHHHH!"

The girl slammed the bookcase closed and the Lightning Thief heard the Sea of Monsters fall with an oomph!

She then glared at the book with so much intensity, its pages quivered.

"Please have mercy on my soul."

"How dare you, Rick! After all that we've been through? You just go and tear out my heart! TWICE!"

Behind her another book that the Lightning Thief had never seen.

"I'm so sorry. I—It is all my fault... Two of my main characters died…"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?"
"I—I—I...!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"I'M SORRY!" *sobs*

"Why Rick? WHY?! I thought we were friends! I—I thought we were friends…"

The young grieving girl fell to the floor cuddling the book to her chest as tears fell freely from her red eyes.

"I'm so sorry…"

"At least you will always be with me…"

"Yes, yes I will. No matter what."


(Time Skip)

It has been three years since the young girl first bought the book. By now she had finished the entire series. They had been through love triangles (man were those annoying), character deaths (those times were absolute torture for them both.), and shipping (don't get me started on the Battle of the Labyrinth). Throughout it all, the Lightning thief was always there when she needed it. Soon the young girl had bought enough books for an entire shelf in the bookcase to be taken up. A few times the books didn't get along, (The Lost Hero and The Son of Neptune were constantly fighting over who was better), and other times there was significant hurt (No one talked to the Mark of Athena for a week after the girl finished reading the ending), but most of the time they were just one big family.

And then one fateful day…

"Oh my gosh, guys! I love it!"

It was the girl's (that the books soon learned to be named Rachel) 14th birthday and her family was throwing her a party downstairs.

"I wonder what present it is?" the Lightning Thief wondered.

"Hopefully not a dog." replied the Sea of Monsters.

"What if it's a hell hound in disguise, or even worse, a chimera!" said the always paranoid Mark of Athena.

"I doubt that where would her mortal family find one?" said the Battle of the Labyrinth.

"Well, we don't know if she is a mortal…" said the Lost Hero.

"Trust me, she's a mortal. Or she would have been dead by now." said The Lightning Thief.

They continued to speculate on what the present might be until the party was over. The sound of Rachel entering the room startled them out of their argument. They waited anxiously to see if she would open the bookcase and let them see what she had gotten.

To their surprise and relief, she did just that, except she put a new book inside.

It was bigger than the PJO books and about the size of the HOO books. It had a picture of a guy on a broomstick and a colorful background.

"Where the bloody hell am I?" it said with a British accent.

"It is quite dark in here. I wish I had arms or a wand so that I could just say Lumos and cast some light on the situation."

The other books were confused, they had never heard a book use such words. They were used to the New Yorker accent and at times, Greek or Roman phrases.

"Um, who are you?" asked the Lightning thief hesitantly.

"Blimey! You nearly scared me out of my wits!"

"Sorry, but can you please answer the question, we don't usually get strangers." the Titan's Curse said politely.

"Wait, there's more of you? Where did you lot come from?"

"Um, this is our home," said the House of Hades.

"Really? Hogwarts is my home."

"Hogwarts? What is that?" The Mark of Athena asked in curiosity.

"Hmm, you must be muggle books. We let's start over, shall we? I think some introductions are in order."

"Uh, okay we're the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan." said the Blood of Olympus.

"A pleasure," the new book stated. "I'm Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling."


And FIN~!