Alright guys I got another hot one out for ya, this will be last chapter for 2017 but fret not 2018 will be filled with new chapters.
Shout out to-
Storymaker3469- I'm always glad to see you reviews buddy, I really appreciated the support :D Glad you enjoy last chapter, it's pure joy writing for someone who loves just as much as I do.
Speaking of Storymaker3469, I would like to announce Storymaker3469 as the winner of last chapters contest. Took three try's but looks who the winner now; D
Disclaimer- I own nothing
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Absurd mumbled rhetorically to himself as he walked through the horde of people in front of him. Making sure he didn't excuse himself to any of the people he was roughly moving out of his way. "Hey watch it!" someone yelled at him. He received heated glares as her rolled his eyes, people were so overrated. Growling the persona wiggled him to the center platform where there were empty seats.
The Goku look a liked brought his hand over his head as he searched above the moving crowed in the mall. Looking for a certain blue haired heiress that was nowhere to be seen. Damn it I can't see anything from down here...
How he had managed to lose Bulma in first place was rather simple yet stupid. After two ate their snacks, while scolding the persona for his bad behavior, whom by the way didn't bother to care. The heiress of Capsule Corp was hit with such a terrible, terrible reality check, that Scientist herself cried realizing her stupidity. You see Bulma had refrained herself from eating at Chipotle a while ago and reverted to eating out at other chained fast food restaurants, because her stomach did not do well with Chipotle. The heiress of Capsule Corp had to take a shit, very badly.
The persona had a ball laughing in the backseat as Bulma zoomed through the roads, breaking all types of laws while crying. There was no possible way she would make it home, with way her shit was knocking at her back door. Of course Absurd could have helped but he was too busy laughing hi ass off.
Bulma refused to take a royal shit at any of the nearby gas stations, fearing whatever disease's lurked around their bathrooms, so she chose 'The Satan Mall' of all places.
As soon as she parked the car, she was gone. It was truly amazing to see how fast constipation could make a girl run. He would give the woman props if he could find her that is. The woman had disappeared with in the mall as soon as she entered it, the persona waited a bit knowing was having stomach problems. Though after thirty odd minutes he knew the woman would have been done by now. Trying to locate her ki would be an option, but unfortunately there were too many people around for him to exactly pin point hers alone. She blended in too well with everyone else.
I need to get higher, if I'm doing this the old fashion way...The persona turned around to the ten foot gold statue that stood majestically behind him. The legendary statue of Mr. Staten, the fraud himself.
How convenient... He sneered before jumping to the top to the statue. Small gasps could be heard from down bellow as the Saiyan landed on the golden afro. He ignored the fingers and gapes that were directing his way.
Honestly they should be used to this by now... the persona began to look for any sign of Bulma. His coal black eyes jumping from shop to shop. He would spot blue hair from time to time, thinking that it was the bluenet but was disappointed every time when it wasn't. Looking for Bulma this way would take some time, he would walk around the mall it's self if it weren't for the large amount of people walking. He was honesty surprised that Bulma managed to get to the bathroom, if she did anyway. His other option would be to walk to the nearest bathroom and hope she was around, and walk to the other ones if she wasn't.
Hello Absurd are you there? A voice spoke out in his head.
Unfazed by it the persona grunted, "Hn. What do you want Honesty?"
I'm just checking up on you, did you locate her?
"Affirmative, she had just come off the plane when I did. She was already driving her way to West city; I had to um 'stop' her from advancing any further." The persona could practically feel Honesty raise a brow on the other end. Care to elaborate what you mean by 'Stop'. He asked with suspension.
"Well you know... I stopped her the only way possible...by running out into the road."
There was a paused sigh, you hit Bulma's car didn't you?
"Actually she hit me, all i did was run into the road." he said defending himself.
Absurd you could have caused her to wreak you fool! The mission was to locate Bulma, and stall her for a couple hours to bide us some time. Not almost Kill Bulma Absurd! Honesty scolded
The Goku look alike rolled his eyes, "Well you know I'm doing fine honestly, it not like I let a car run me over, which by the way could have broken my neck and parallelized me from the neck down."
Please do not start with this Absurd. I just want to know if you completed the mission or not?
"I did." Absurd answered, he squinted as he searched for Bulma. The persona on the other end seemed to be please; it went silent for a quick second as Honestly repeated the news back to Confidence and Persuasive.
The persona felt the familiar tingling in the back of his head letting him know that another persona had connected in the conversation. Good, where are you guys at the moment? Confident pipped in.
"At the mall but... I have a little problem Confidence. "He said scratching his head in a Goku like manner. He braced himself for the lecture/ cursing he was about to receive.
"Well you see, in the mist of distracting Bulma with my creative shenanigans we ending up getting Chipotle for a snack."
What? Bulma can't eat there, she gets really bad stomach aches an-
"And has to Shit really bad. I know, it was very hilarious to watch her drive like a homicidal manic. The prissy princess didn't want to shit at the gas station, so she drove to the mall, which in my opinion is a bad Idea. Now everyone has to smell you shit along with other people doing the dirty squat with ya."
What's your point Absurd; I don't need all the rambling just get to the point.
"In long story short, I lost ya wife.'
What?! How the hell did you do that! She just went to squat!'
I told you we should have asked Mischief instead, at least he's cleverer for a Goku persona
Absurd growled at the panicking personas "Hey chill your panties man, I'm looking for her as we speak. If push comes to shove I'll just use the mall's intercom to get her attention." He didn't like the Vegeta persona's belittling him for being a Goku persona, letting alone for his personality.
Whilst the persona continued his telepathic conversation with the other personas, another individual began to make his way to the Satan Statue that was held very dear to the mall.
Like Absurd, he made his way through the crowd of people, with no regards what so ever in is sliver metal Segway. Whines, growl and moan traveled behind him as his Segway trampled over their feet. "Move out the way, if you get messed up does not report me. I repeat do not report me for any damages." he chanted, putting on his dark sunglasses so the bright lights in the mall would not hurt his eyes.
He had been hearing complaints and rumors that someone had climbed to the top of the Satan statue that was located in the center of the mall. He had to act fast; he didn't want the manger to find out that he had let a one of the shoppers climb on top of the famous and respected statue. Who was dumb enough to climb it, he was about to find out.
Justin was not to be fucked with in this mall, every one new that, the custodians, his coworkers, and even the baristas at the mall's Starbucks feared him. Those late millennial's were so easily frighten, with their nerdy anime talk. Speaking of baristas, he needed to walk over there and scare them for his afternoon pumpkin spice late; those weebos better have it on time too. He nearly owned this mall, all he had to was flash the tasters and shit would be done his way, he could easily write a false report if he didn't like someone and have them removed.
The Mall cop sighed as he jumped off the Segway as he pulled up to the crowed that surrounded the base of the Golden statue. "Alright, alright move out the way people!" he yelled at the crowed pulling out his beating stick. He waved around to push the stubborn on lookers away. Making his way to the center of the crowd, he greeted by a familiar colleague, staring up at the top of statue. Justin pushed his sunglasses up against the bridged of his nose as looked in that direction. Someone in deed was standing on the crown of the statue, an orange dressed man with an odd hair do.
The other finally took notice of two other man and immediately took a face of annoyance,
"Hello Officer Chatwin..." the man said sarcastically.
"Likewise Pep." Justin responded, he took his attention back to the man that greeted him, "So um what's the status with this weirdo on the Statue?"
"Nothing much, he's just been up there for quite a bit. Just standing, I think we can get the guy down without any problems, he seems pretty chill." Pep explained to Justin.
"Pep, Imma tell this now. That plan that you just told me, is meant for pussy's. Throw that shit," he made a throw gesture. "Out the widow, none of that." Do you understand?" Pep rolled his green eyes at the younger officers; Chatwin was always making things over contemplated.
"Well what do you propose Officer Chatwin?" he asked dryly. Working with this man was just utterly blasphemed.
"What I'm gonna do is, lure that orange motherfucker off the golden, sweet Satan Statue. Then you", he pointed to Pep. "You will start to beat the shit out of him with your beating stick, and wiping him real good like this." He brought his hands together to make slapping sounds; Pep continued to give him an amused look. "Then I will Taser him." This sure enough to cause chaos and the attention on the news for sure, it was bad enough he had to share the same section with Chatwin, and that he had not been doing his part, allow this man to climb the Statue.
"Chatwin, I know you're all about bravado but its making you more and more like a bitch the more you try to stunt on your colleagues and everybody in the damn mall. I just wanna let you know that."
Justin turned his back to Pep, holding a tear that was at the verge of falling. He did not take criticism too well despise his bravado. "Now Pep, don't forget that I have my beating stick, and nothing will hold me back from beating you with it, do you understand." he said with firm voice.
"It called a Baton." he correct unfazed by Chatwin failing bravado, he could hear him sniffing behind his sunglasses. Sensitive ass... In truth He was a bitch
"Whatever Pep, let's just get this over with." He orders wiping the singer tear from his face. Pep rolled his eyes, as Justin pursued with his plan.
"Eh Wacko, get down from there, you're on Mall property!" he yelled at the stranger standing on the Gold Afro. Unfazed the wild hair man continued to stare off into space, seemingly what it looked like talking to himself.
"I don't think he heard you Chatwin..."
"HEY FUCKO! GET OFF THE STATUE BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" he yelled at the man, this time catching his attention.
"Wha?" Absurd blinked at Justin.
He narrowed his eyes from behind his darken sunglasses, "You heard the last time dumb ass, get the fuck down from the Satan Statue." he cursed that the Saiyan.
Not taking lightly to Justin attitude, Absurd narrowed his eyes as well, a strong frown appearing on his lips, "Who the fuck do you think your talking to?" his voice bellowed at the mall officer.
"The mother fucker that's gonna shove my foot up your ass if don't get down from there. Disrespecting are savor can get you a load of whoop ass right here right now." he said pulling out his beat em down stick.
The persona merely just scoffed at the man's weal claim, reading his power level he just scoffed. He bent his knees before jumping off the tall statue, amazing the others watching how one could do such a possible feat without breaking their legs. Absurd landed firmly in front of the officer, his face dangerously close to his. Absurd had a crazed look, his eyes widen as his grin broaden.
"Let's get one thing straight mall cop, I will be the one shoving my boot so far up your ass that it'll trigger a geological event. Your 'Savor' is just a shit stain apart of a collective masterpiece of failure." Justin looked at the man in front of him mortified as Pep watched glorified that the scene before him.
The officer immediately reached for his beating stick, not knowing how to respond to such a retort, with his emotion over welling him, he went to stick down on the persona. The connection never struck as Absurd simple caught the baton, a disapproving chuckle leaving his lips.
"You glitter-toed, cock-wrangling, fairy tinkle bag puff of fuck nuggets tried to stick me I see. I've fought people that would stretch your collective anal cavities so far apart that you think you're getting pulled apart by God himself. I will put a sombrero on your head and beat you like a piñata, while your internal organs spew out of your body like fucking candy." he told Justin his voice meeting a lower octave to terrify the human, which it did. Justin watched as the anger persona flexed his overbearing muscles, scarring the shit out of the two officers. If Justin would have known the man was this jacked he would have bitch out of the job with quickness. The persona lightly squeezed his hand, breaking the baton in half
Absurd watched as Justin subsumed to a whimpering and stuttering fool, the Goku look alike snapped his head to Pep whom jumped. "You there, who in the title fuck are you!" he order Pep scaring the officer.
Pep immediately put his hands up defensively, "Sir, I'm officer Pep. I have no problem with you what so ever." Justin let out a whine as Pep abandoned him.
Absurd narrowed his eyes, "How are you associated with this fuck nugget of a human?" he asked gesturing to Justin whom had tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.
"None other than the fact we work here in the mall, and sir my I confess the dirty plan he had for you...he had intentions to lure you down off the statue and then attack you with Taser and then beat you with a baton." Pep revealed to the persona, leaving Chatwin for himself. The officer didn't want to clean up his mess in the first place.
Justin's eyes widen as a snot bubble breached his nose, "you s-snitch...' he cried, tears running down his face. He was sure he was done for now, not even a Taser could stop this man.
"Is that so?" Absurd he said sneering at the man in front of him, he didn't even touch the man yet and he was a babbling mess. A bitch hiding behind the bravado truly...
Pep nodded vigorously, "Oh yeah. You can even ask the people be me, they heard him." The group of audience that were watching and also frighten nodded simultaneously, they all didn't like the officer to beginning with, and so it was a long time coming.
"I'm so gonna Taser all of you!" Justin screamed as no one defended him. He sounded like a small kid having a temper tantrum.
"I hope to god that you don't reproduce, the thought of you having kids disgusts me." Absurd retorted.
"Stupid, you can't control babies, everybody knows that." Justin screamed at the Goku look alike.
Justin openly glared at the man, as tears and snot continued to leak from his face. "The magical storks deiced whether you get one or not." As if it was the know it all thing to say.
Absurd, Pep and the audience around them stared at Justin with a sweat drop, completely dumbfounded by the man's idiotic statement, a long pause of silence followed by it. That sound like some shit you would say HAHa! Confidence laughed.
"Sweat mother god, you dumb bitch. I do believe you are the stupidest shack of shit I ever seen in my life, and I have lived, died and come back to life twice. What is your name fuck nugget!?" he yelled at Justin as if he were a general.
"That sounds like a Bitches name...are you Bitch Justin?" he asked the man coolly.
"I-I...uh...I." he stuttered.
"DO YOU CRY AT NIGHT LIKE A BITCH!?" Absurd screamed in the man's faces, Justin's face paled.
"N-No sir... I-I don't."
In back of Absurd head, the pair of personas was laughing. Confidence and Honesty had been listening to the whole thing after being interrupted by Justin. Confidence was wheezing while Honesty was snorting as they laughed at scene Absurd was making.
"For some reason, all i hear is Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Speak up maggot I can't hear you!"
"I'm not a Bitch sir!" he yelled in fear for his life.
A goofy smile surfaced on the persona's face, "Good because I need you to take me to the intercom so i can call for my friend, I have seemed to lose her." His voice along back to normal.
"U-Uh...okay..." Justin was now at lost at the persona random personality change, coming out of the blue. Pep and the rest of the audience became quiet as they watch persona toss the mall cop wanna be bad guy, that terrorized that mall.
"B-but on one condition, that you apologized the Satan Statue. Is all i ask. Mister Satan is a well respect man whom had saved the world countless of times, not like those colorful phonies at the cell games. He deserves honor for bravo- WHAAAAAA!"
In between is novelized speech about Mister Satan, Absurd picked up the bitch mall cop and chucked him through the air. There was no way he was going to apologize to a damn statue; it was just rock with a face on it. Cowards face in fact, that stole him, his son, and the rest of the Z fighter's victor only to calm it as his own.
Absurd crooked his neck as he looked the on looking crowd in front of him, suddenly they all broke out and cheered the persona.
"What the fuck..." he murmured to himself as they cheered. Humans are weird...
Pep had the hugest smile on his face as he congratulated the man, "Sir I'm pretty sure Chatwin just broke the sound barrier when you through him, possible killing him. But i would be more than happy to assist you to use the intercom."
"What really?" he thought the officer would be trying to append him or something for assaulting his coworker. Pep nodded his head,"Well shit lead the way."
"Gladly to sir." Pep smiled leading the man, a crowed of cheers erupting behind him.
I-I have to say Absurd you are quite the persona... Honesty complemented catching his breath.
Of course I am, that's why you chose me to get the job done. Absurd grinned.
To be continued...
Alright guys, this it until January, i want you guys to know it was joy writing these pass few chapters with the support of many. I want to thank Storymaker3469 especially , I used his Oc Justin Chatwin (Don't as why, lol) for this chapter, Pep was my creation.
anyway I wanna wish you guys a merry Christmas and a happy new year. The next time when i come back i want to do a little Q/A. Kinda curious to what you guys want to know.
Alright I'm off to go sleep for a bit, I just now got off for break yesterday, would have been off sooner but my school wants to make money so they made our break only a week and a half ;l (So fuck school) Glad this is my senior year :D Before I end this i gotta do some shameless plug for the last time of this year ;P-
CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY'S:
THE STARS IN YOU
Get bored just read em.
Anyway don't forget to review and tell me how you felt about today's chapter, until next time, see ya next year :D
(P.S. if you want to see the inspiration for Absurd's rant check out 'Slap on titan' shit's awesome)