Disclaimer: I think it should go without saying by now but I do not own the rights to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure or any of it's affiliated characters. All rights to the series are owned by Hirohiko Araki-Sensei and licensed for distribution by Shonen Jump/Viz Media (Manga), Studio A.P.P.P (OVA) and David Productions (Anime).
This is merely my attempt at a novelization of the Eyes of Heaven Video-game with a few odd twists added to keep it from being just a rehashing of the cut-scenes. As a result, while the over-all plot will remain intact, certain scenarios and encounters may carry out differently, and new plot elements will be added to fill plot-holes.
That being said, Open The Game!
Chapter 1: The Long Journey Ends; Hello, Old Friends-?!
'I will put these things in order…
The things necessary to go to heaven'.
Jotaro stood silently, watching the ashes from the burning book rise into the night sky, the Full moon shining down on the Joestar descendant as he stood outside the remains of DIO's Cairo mansion.
You would think after everything the vampire and his minions had put the teen through, after all the heartache and loss he and his friends had suffered through their Bizarre Adventure, that the last thing he'd want to do was set foot in the monster's lair again.
And you'd be right, for even though he'd personally watched DIO's corpse turn to dust beneath the Cairo Sunrise mere hours earlier, so great had been his enemy's malice that Jotaro hadn't been able to suppress the chill that raced up his spine from simply standing in the doorway to the vampire's lair.
Why then, had he returned to that viper's den? His foe was dead, reduced to dust on the wind, and his mother was supposedly making a full recovery according to the Speedwagon Foundation's best doctor's. What then, had possessed him to return to DIO's mansion in the middle of the night, when he should by all accounts be celebrating?
The answer was, quite simply, because Kujo Jotaro wasn't stupid. He knew all too-well that simply cutting off the head of a snake wouldn't stop it from biting your ass the moment you let your guard down, and while DIO had been a big enough pain in their collective asses in his own right, the Joestar heir didn't believe for one second that they were completely out of the woods just because the vampire was gone. His ancestor Jonathan Joestar, had made that very same mistake a century prior and his family had been paying for it even before a bunch of treasure-hunting idiots dredged DIO's coffin out of the ocean.
Put simply, while killing DIO had been the Joestar's main objective in this venture, if they truly wished to rid themselves of the shadow the vampire had placed on their legacy, they needed to learn from the past and make sure they either eliminated all of DIO's followers or at least made certain they weren't about to come looking for revenge.
Fortunately, from what little Jotaro had managed to discern from DIO's assorted journals, the number of people the self-proclaimed 'Emperor of The World' trusted to the point they didn't require a Flesh Bud, essentially the kind of fanatics that would vow vengeance for his demise, could be counted on one hand, and almost all of them had either been killed or rendered incapable of pursing vengeance until they got out of hospital.
The few Fanatics that remained were either abroad at the time of DIO's death or had made themselves scarce when it became clear their Master had drawn the short-straw. It should go without saying that DIO's less fanatical minions either died the moment his Flesh Buds went berserk following his death, or were the kind of low-level thugs who were only in it for the money, and thus were quite content to slither off to find some other scumbag to work for.
'Or to lie low long enough to be forgotten about.' He mused, his features impassive as he continued to watch until the Vampire's journal, much like it's author, was reduced to ashes on the wind 'I'll have the Speedwagon Foundation look into that list of names, the sooner we can start up a paper trail the better.'
"There you are, Jotaro." A familiar voice called out, snapping the teen out of his thoughts just in time to see his Grandfather, Joseph Joestar, striding towards him with a relieved smile "I just heard back from the Hospital, Polnareff has regained consciousness. We should go visit him."
Jotaro said nothing, in truth still a little miffed at the old man for his earlier-prank in the ambulance. His silence, coupled with the sight of the burning journal, led Joseph to pause, the elder Joestar adjusting his fedora as he regarded his solemn grandson in concern "What's the matter? Something bothering you?"
"…No." Jotaro assured him, pausing to grind his foot one last time into the smoldering remains of the book, scattering the last of the ashes before turning on his heel and striding past his understandably confused Grandfather "It's nothing."
While Joseph hurried to follow after Jotaro, more than used to dealing with his surly Grandson's opaque nature due to their time together, neither Joestar was aware of the three sets of burning glares being leveled at their backs from a shadowed back-alley.
"We finally found him…" a tall figure clad in heavy robes noted, his tone laced with righteous anger as he glared at the retreating Joestars, Jotaro in particular "The master of [Star Platinum]…Kujo Jotaro…"
"I see now why the Noble One ordered us to eliminate him." His compatriot acknowledged, his slender frame hidden behind the corner of a building as he peered after the pair warily "His possesses a Stand that wields unparalleled power…" he smirked confidently "But even so, he's still no match for us."
"Let us move." The first figure commanded, the two of them slinking deeper into the shadows, the last of their party pausing only to growl threateningly at the retreating Joestars before turning to pad after his compatriots.
Cairo International Airport, the following Day...
'Attention: All Passengers of Air France Flight Number 92 to Paris should proceed quickly to gate 18. I repeat…'
"Looks like that's my flight." Polnareff noted, the silver-haired Frenchman crouching awkwardly next to his duffel bag due to his still recovering wounds. While the Speedwagon Foundation had managed to patch him up in record time, even providing him with prosthetics to replace the toes and fingers he'd lost during his battle with Vanilla Ice, he'd still lost a chunk out of his right leg, on top of countless other injuries he'd gotten during his brief fight with DIO.
"Do you really need to return to France, Polnareff?" Joseph inquired, the Joestars having accompanied their sole remaining companion to the airport, both to see him off and to grab the first plane back to Japan "You don't have any family left there, right? Why don't you come and stay with me in New York?"
"Thank you for the offer, Monsieur Joestar…" Polnareff returned with a grateful smile as he finished checking his luggage "But even if ma Famille is gone, France is still my homeland and I have many fond memories attached to my hometown." He smiled fondly in remembrance "Wheresoever my travels may take me, I will undoubtedly always return there."
The Joestars said nothing, respecting their comrade's choice even though it hurt them to watch him stagger awkwardly to his feet. Though all of them had been scarred in some way by DIO and his minions, between the three of them it could easily be said that Polnareff had been dealt the short hand. Compared to him, the wounds they'd suffered were minimal at best, and even then they still had family waiting for them back home.
"That being said, if you ever need me, don't hesitate to call." The plucky Frenchman insisted, smiling confidently at the pair as he did his best to stand tall, putting most of his weight on his good leg "Wherever in the world you are, just let me know and I'll come running!"
"...Well, I'll miss you." A grim-faced Joseph admitted, both for himself as for Jotaro, for while the younger Joestar would never admit it aloud, they'd both grown fond of their former enemy turned loyal companion "It'll certainly be lonely without you."
"We certainly had our share of hardships." Polnareff admitted, bravely fighting back the tears that he could feel coming on "But despite all that, I had a lot of fun." He beamed at the pair, as if to gauge their reactions "Travelling together with you guys…made the journey a lot of fun."
"Yeah…it was fun." Joseph agreed, the Joestars smiling fondly as they recalled the various shenanigans their party had gotten into along the way "I feel the same way…from the bottom of my heart."
The three men stood before one another, each feeling the ache of recent wounds and friends lost, heedless of the announcers voice as she once again called for Flight 92's passengers to gather. With nary a sound, Polnareff moved as if to step forwards, only for his leg to give out, causing him to stumble, his arms spreading wide to grasp the Joestars' shoulders in a makeshift embrace, Joseph reaching out to clasp the younger man on the back while Jotaro gripped his friend's arm in support.
"See you later, you old curmudgeon!" the Frenchman offered cheekily despite the unshod tears shining in his eyes "You better not go dying anytime soon!" he added before turning to grin at Jotaro "And the same goes for your stingy Grandson, don't you dare forget me!"
"Let's meet again!" Joseph returned with a cocky grin of his own, giving the younger man a hearty slap on the back "That is, unless you've had enough of me…you stubborn son of a bitch!"
"There's no way I could forget a character like you even if I tried." Jotaro scoffed, his expression belying his mocking words as he regarded his friend with a rare, gentle smile as he tightened his grip on his arm "Take care, alright?"
"I will." Polnareff vowed, the trio breaking their embrace, allowing the Frenchman to pick up his Duffel bag and stride off with one last "Adieu" towards the International Departures with his head held high and back straight.
"We should probably get going." Joseph mused, the Elder Joestar pulling his Walkman out and plugging in a Beatles cassette in a bid to settle his nerves, both from Polnareff's departure and the fact they were about to get on another damned plane "I booked us the first available JAA flight so it won't be first class, but at this point I'll be happy just to get back safely."
"Yeah." Jotaro agreed, honestly a little nervous at the idea of getting on another plane with his disaster-prone Grandfather, though as usual he kept it from showing on his face, far more concerned with getting back to Japan to check up on his mother "C'mon, which gate did you say it was again-?"
"There you are!" a loud voice called out, cutting the teen off, the Joestars tensing as a man in a trench-coat and bowler-hat dashed in front of them, "At last, I finally found you!"
'An enemy?' Jotaro wondered, subconsciously readying himself to summon [Star Platinum] at the slightest hint of trouble even as Joseph pulled his headphones out of his ears, the Elder Joestar eyeing the man before them warily even as he looked them over with growing excitement 'Yare-Yare…He's got balls challenging us out in the open like this…'
"Hah! It all makes sense now! I can't help but laugh!" The man chuckled, his scarred face, framed by a mane of blonde hair beneath the bowler, lighting up in excitement as he looked them over, smiling as if he'd just gotten the punchline of the world's greatest joke "Why look at you, built like you are even I could tell that you're Mr. Joestar's descendants!"
"…Someone you know, Gramps?" Jotaro wondered, gesturing towards the stranger as he glanced at his Grandfather for answers, only to frown at the confused expression on the older man's face.
"Not that I recall, no." Joseph countered uncertainly, the elder Joestar peering at the laughing man warily as he readied himself to summon [Hermit Purple] "I am indeed a Joestar." he confirmed with a wary frown "However…who might you be?"
"Ah! How rude of me!" the stranger exclaimed, as if only now realizing his mistake, before promptly straightening up and tipping back his bowler hat with his thumb to smile apologetically at the pair "Please excuse me, my name is-!"
"MONSIEUR JOESTAR! JOTARO!" Polnareff cried out from behind, the Joestars whipping round just in time to see their comrade fall to his knees, his features pale and drenched in sweat, as if he'd been fleeing from the devil himself. What worried them, however, was the fresh wounds that littered his already wounded body, several of his bandages stained with blood from where old wounds had reopened.
"Polnareff?!" Jotaro exclaimed, the strange man completely forgotten as the Joestars rushed to their wounded friend's aid, crouching down to help him off the floor, careful not to aggravate his wounds any further.
"What happened?" Joseph demanded, looking the younger man over warily briefly before gripping him by the shoulders to look him in the eyes "How did you get those injuries? What's going on?!"
"I…I honestly don't know what's going on myself…!" Polnareff admitted haggardly "I don't have the slightest goddamn idea…" he turned to glare over his shoulder, [Silver Chariot] appearing before him in a ready stance "All I know is…we're under attack!"
"Enemy Stand Users?" Jotaro wondered, glancing over his shoulder at the strange man, having not entirely dismissed him as a potential threat, only to find him looking just as troubled by this turn of events, glancing around as if to sneak away "Hold it!" Jotaro demanded, fully intent on beating a solid answer out of the weirdo only to whip back round at Joseph's choked cry of alarm, the younger Joestar's eyes widening in disbelief at the sight of Polnareff's attackers.
The first, and by far the most imposing, was a tall man of Egyptian descent, his muscular frame clad in a heavy cotton overcoat and scarf over a tan shirt and pants popular among desert dwellers. From his ears hung a metallic necklace engraved with Egyptian symbols and each arm was adorned with two heavy golden bracelets. The second opponent, was, of all things, a monochrome Boston Terrier, it's adorable form belying the unusual intelligence in its sharp blue eyes, set in an unusually expressive face that matched the Egyptian's murderous resolve, and possibly even surpassed it.
What alarmed Jotaro, however, was not their presence, as he'd been expecting an ambush for some time now, nor was it concern as to what powers they might possess, for he was intimately aware of what these two were capable of. Indeed, that very familiarity was what currently froze the Joestar in his tracks, unable to comprehend how they could be standing before him, considering the last time he'd seen either, there wasn't enough left for a proper burial.
"Oh...Oh My God...!" Joseph exclaimed, the elder Joestar just as stunned by this turn of events as his Grandson, stepping forward as if in a daze to verify the existence of their opponents "What...What in the world is this…?!"
"Didn't I just say they were the enemy?!" Polnareff exclaimed, snapping Joseph out of his gaze, the Frenchman's gaze torn between confusion and anger, gripping onto Jotaro for support as he glared at the pair "Watch yourself, they're going to attack!"
As if to verify the Frenchman's words, the Egyptian moved his hands in an elaborate pattern that Jotaro instantly recognized from that day oh-so-long ago, when he'd been stubbornly languishing in a Jail Cell under the delusion that his Stand was an Evil Spirit. Just as before, the man's arms seemed to blur as he moved them in intricate patterns, before bringing his hands down with a familiar cry.
As if the words were a summons a large figure emerged from behind the Egyptian in a sudden burst of flames. Much like Jotaro's [Star Platinum], it resembled a large, muscular man, but that was where the resemblance ended, for while [Star Platinum] was clad in Aztec-like armour, the Stand before them was virtually naked were it not for the flames which adorned its lower body and the large, bird-like head atop it's shoulders. At its arrival, the temperature in their immediate surroundings skyrocketed.
The terrier, as if not to be outdone, simply snarled at them as it settled into a combat stance, dust particles gathering around it, coalescing into a large, mechanical creature that resembled a bizarre combination of a car's chassis and a massive canine with thick wheels for hind legs, the massive fore-paws linked to the main body by two hydraulic cables, it's face a growling tribal mask crowned by feathers.
Unlike the first, whose appearance merely resulted in a sudden spike in the overall temperature of the terminal, the appearance of the latter had a decidedly more profound effect on the surrounding crowd, who predictably panicked, starting a veritable stampede as they literally clambered over each other to put as much distance between themselves and the monstrous beast as possible.
That, more than anything else, confirmed for Jotaro that the beings standing before him were the real deal. After all, it didn't matter how good an impostor you were, there was no way to imitate the appearance and abilities of another person's Stand, and having fought both of the Stands before him at some point, Jotaro felt he had a better grasp of their limitations than most.
[Magician's Red], as its name implied, was the most powerful Stand in the world when it came to Fire. However, while the heat of its flames could be felt by anyone, as with most Stand abilities the flames themselves could only be seen, and thus dodged, by other Stand Users. In contrast, [The Fool] had no concrete form of its own, only manifesting through its ability to manipulate sand. While this simplicity made for a very versatile Stand, it also meant it was one of the few whose effects could actually be witnessed by ordinary humans.
Having been on the receiving end of both Stands before, Jotaro had to admit the prospect of fighting them as a tag team was possibly more intimidating than his fight with DIO had ever been. After all, discounting [The World]'s ability to Stop Time, all he'd had to deal with was a megalomaniac vampire with a god complex, so in the end he hadn't hesitated to deal the finishing blow. Against these two, however, he wasn't so confident his resolve would hold.
Hell, he couldn't even blame his Grandfather for almost stumbling into their ambush, if it weren't for Polnareff he probably would've done the same thing. After all, it wasn't every day that your fallen comrades literally returned from the dead only to try and murder you.
"Avdol…Iggy…" Joseph stammered, the elder Joestar, much like his grandson, clearly unable to believe the sight that lay before him, only to grimace as he was forced to retreat from Avdol's hateful glare "I thought you were dead…what in the hell is going on?!"
"What's the plan, Gramps?" Jotaro demanded, snapping his Grandfather out of his daze, the elder Joestar taking a deep breath to settle his nerves, before gripping the rim of his fedora with his mechanical hand.
"I don't really get what's happening at the moment, but we can't fight here!" Joseph proclaimed loudly, glancing towards the surrounding civilians that were still fleeing the terminal in a blind panic "There are too many innocent civilians around! We need to take this somewhere else!"
"You're not going anywhere, sinners!" Avdol declared, [Magician's Red] mimicking it's master as he crossed his arms, before unleashing a torrent of flames from its beak towards the Joestar Party "Magician's Red!"
"Silver Chariot!" Polnareff bellowed, the Frenchman's own Stand lashing out with its sword, the sheer speed of the blade allowing it to effectively slice through the air, allowing it to redirect the blaze away from his comrades "Jotaro!"
"ORA!" the younger Joestar bellowed, [Star Platinum]'s fist lashing out in a powerful haymaker, smashing open a massive hole in the airport wall whilst simultaneously forcing their attackers to back off "Move it gramps!"
"W-Wait for me!" Joseph yelped, leaping out the makeshift exit after Jotaro and Polnareff, the Frenchman gripping the younger Joestar's shoulder for support as Star Platinum propelled them up into the air "Hermit Purple!"
"You won't escape!" Avdol vowed, the revived Stand Users lunging out the hole after their prey, completely disregarding the stranger in the bowler hat as he watched them leave from within the panicked crowd.
"So, the blighters have caught up to me already have they?" he noted grimly, lowering the rim of his bowler hat in a bid to conceal his features even as he allowed himself to be lost in the crowd making for the emergency exits "Damn it all, we don't have time for this!" he swore, after glancing down at his fob watch "I need to hurry! Mr. Joestar's life depends on it!"
Cairo Rooftops, Later that evening...
As anyone who ever went up against a Stand User will easily attest, fighting Stand Users could be a serious pain in the ass, primarily because combat between Stands was rarely so straightforward as 'beat the shit out of the other guy'. Indeed, you could even go so far as to say that half the battle was typically spent trying to figure out the enemy's ability, and the other half trying to find some way around said ability either through cunning, misdirection, or God's own luck.
To elaborate, while Jotaro's [Star Platinum] and DIO's [The World] were undoubtedly powerful Stands, some would even go so far as to call them broken, bereft of their ability to stop time their short range meant there was little they could actually do to their opponent unless their users got creative, such as DIO's use of knives to avoid coming into contact with Joseph's Hamon or entering Jotaro's effective range.
By contrast, Stands like Avdol's [Magician's Red] and Iggy's [The Fool], while statistically weaker, more than made up for it in terms of their innate abilities. Hell, Jotaro would freely admit that, out of all the Stands he'd faced, [The Fool] was the only one he doubted he could beat without stacking the odds heavily in his favor. Indeed, according to his Grandfather, the only person capable of handling the mutt had been Mohammed Avdol, and even then he'd possessed the advantage of being on more favorable turf, having cornered Iggy in the slums of New York, thus limiting the scope of [The Fool]'s Power.
Unfortunately for the Joestars and Polnareff, not only did knowing their opponent's abilities afford them little advantage, but they once again found themselves in the familiar situation of their enemy possessing the home field advantage. After all, Avdol was a Cairo native, born and raised, and thus knew the backstreets of his hometown like the back of his hand, meaning it was almost impossible for them to lose him even if he didn't have Iggy's damned sense of smell to fall back on.
Were it anyone else, they probably would have fled into the desert to limit the civilian casualties and attempt an ambush, but doing so against these opponents would effectively be suicide, as not only would the vast open space allow Avdol to unleash [Magician's Red]'s full, terrifying potential, there was no telling what kind of hell Iggy would unleash with all that Sand at his beck and call.
And so, as much as it chafed him to run from a fight, Jotaro had swallowed his pride and let his Grandfather call the shots, the wily old man leading them on a merry chase through the densely populated streets of Cairo, occasionally moving to the rooftops to avoid drawing too much attention.
The reason for this, according to Joseph, was two-fold: By remaining in the city, they could effectively limit their enemy's options, as no matter what had been done to turn their friends against them, there was no way Avdol would allow any harm to befall innocent civilians. For another, excluding Joseph's [Hermit Purple], both [Star Platinum] and [Silver Chariot] were close range Stands, so it would wiser to find an area best suited for their abilities whilst coming up with a strategy to take their opponent's down, preferably without killing them.
'Almost makes me miss DIO…' Jotaro scoffed, grunting as he used Star Platinum to touch down on an open rooftop, allowing Polnareff to stagger off his shoulder to crouch in a corner and catch his breath while he stood watch.
"Looks like we lost them for now…" Joseph gasped, the elder Joestar taking in lungful after lungful of cool night air, their harried pursuit, coupled with swinging around Cairo's rooftops like Spider-Man, having completely exhausted him "Damn, if I'd known I'd be running around like this at my age, I'd have kept up my Hamon Training."
"Yare-Yare…" Jotaro sighed, having long grown used to the old man's griping about his glory days, the younger Joestar turning his attention to Polnareff, who was slumped against a nearby wall "Polnareff, what exactly happened at the airport?" he asked cautiously "Did you notice anything odd about them?"
"I didn't notice a damned thing!" the Frenchman insisted, waving his hands empathetically "They just suddenly jumped me as I was getting ready to board my flight!" he clenched his fists to keep them from trembling "I was so stunned at the sight of them I probably would've died if the crowd hadn't gotten between us!"
"Mm, I felt the same way." Joseph agreed, having gotten his breathing back under control "When I saw Avdol standing there I thought I was dreaming for a moment…" he grimaced at the memory of the sheer hatred in his friend's eyes "I can't believe he'd turn against us…"
"There's no way they'd do that willingly!" Polnareff insisted passionately "Avdol isn't the kind of man who'd turn on his friends, and Iggy might be a literal son of a bitch but after everything we went through…"
He trailed off, but the implication of his words was all-too clear to the Joestars. Not one of their fallen comrades had hesitated to give their lives to aid them in their quest. Men of such valour, willing to pay the ultimate price, were hardly the kind of people that would turn on their allies willingly.
"It has to be the effect of an enemy Stand!" Polnareff insisted, his fists clenched in anger "Or maybe one of DIO's servants got their hands on their corpses and turned them into vampires like Vanilla Ice-!"
"Possible, but unlikely." Joseph countered with a shake of his head "Putting aside the fact they attacked us in broad daylight, the only other vampire we ran into in DIO's mansion was that idiot."
Jotaro scoffed, recalling the last of DIO's minions, so pathetic that turning him into a vampire hadn't done anything but make him a durable punching bag…hell that was probably the reason DIO had done it in the first place.
"To begin with, I highly doubt DIO would've made too many vampire servants." Joseph continued, assuming a lecturing pose "Unlike Zombies, which are bound to their creator's will, Vampires retain their free will. Vanilla Ice was just that fanatically loyal that turning him into a Vampire only made him a better servant."
"Don't remind me…" Polnareff swore bitterly, clenching his teeth at the memory of all the fanatical vampire had cost him during their battle in the Mansion "If it weren't for DIO turning him into a vampire…Iggy might still be alive right now."
"Which poses another question." Jotaro opined from the side "Putting aside Iggy, during your fight with Vanilla Ice, you said Avdol's body was 'erased', right?" he continued at Polnareff's nod "If that's the case, wouldn't that mean there was no body for them to revive?"
"And even if there was, it wouldn't have done them any good." Joseph insisted, his tone decidedly grim "Avdol once told me that not even Stands could revive the dead." He adjusted his fedora solemnly "It's one of the absolutes of this world."
The group fell silent, losing themselves in their thoughts and memories for a moment before Jotaro's head snapped up, his eyes narrowing as he detected the approaching blood-lust of their friends turned foes, the trio turning to face a distant rooftop just as Avdol and Iggy stepped out into view. "Looks like they finally caught up with us…" Joseph mused grimly, matching his former friend glare for glare as Jotaro stepped in front of him protectively.
"Should we keep running?" Polnareff inquired, the Frenchman rising to likewise stand between the elder Joestar and their foes, only to blink as Joseph stepped between the two younger men to face their pursuers head on.
"No point, this place is as good as any other." The elder Joestar countered, his aged features lined with the same determination that had carried them all the way to Egypt from Japan to save his daughter's life "We'll face them head-on, right here!"
"Finally decided to stop running, have you?" Avdol called out, his tone laced with begrudging approval, even as Iggy growled at them "Good, because even if you ran there would be no escape." His glare intensified as he struck a pose "You foolish sinners who dare to threaten harm against the Noble One, I, Mohammed Avdol, will not rest till I have cremated your ashes!"
Well, there's the first chapter out of the way. As stated, I'll be making a few changes as we go along since I'm not limited by the parameters of a fighting game so if there's anyone you'd like to see added to the list of enemies let me know & they might make an appearance.
One thing I've changed which some of you may notice is the effect of Polnareff's injuries from the end of Stardust Crusaders. While it was never really touched in either the Manga or the Anime, Polnareff got FUCKED UP during his fight with Vanilla Ice, losing several fingers, the toes on one foot, and even a chunk out of his leg.
You don't just bounce back from something that after a single night in hospital, which makes the fact Polnareff launched himself off a goddamn building to attack DIO all the more Impressive. Polnareff Assist Motherfucker indeed.
Till then, Stand Proud you Crazy, Noisy Bizarre fans.