Written for the QLFC Season 5, Round 10.

Team: Wigtown Wanderers

Title: Honey

Position: Captain

Position Prompt: 2010s: Uptown Funk — Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

Word Count: 1,900

Beta(s): DinoDina (Thank you!)


The bang of the front door reverberated through the cramped one-bedroom flat, and Ginny Weasley sat straight up in bed. Her movement disturbed Harry Potter, who was very much trapped in the blankets beside her. Startled, he promptly woke-up, panicked, struggled, and in his efforts to free himself before they were both eaten by an imagined inferi, rolled gracelessly to the floor.

Despite every law of Merlin's known universe, Ginny was somewhat aroused by this.

"It's just Luna," she said, reaching for her wand and a hair tie. She briefly wondered if she'd choke if she attempted to cast Aguamenti directly into her own mouth.

"She alright?" Harry asked from the floor.

Ginny didn't bother replying since he'd punctuated the question with a quiet but distinctive snore.


Luna Lovegood and Ginny shared the apartment built for one; Luna had pitched a small tent in the corner which could've catered for a family of four on it's own. Using an extension charm to extend a rented living space was technically illegal, as Hermione Granger often reminded them, but so long as Percy didn't find out no one would actually report them.

Ginny wasn't surprised to find the sitting room with the small kitchenette attached empty when she exited the bedroom. Luna had already escaped into her tent and Ginny imagined it was for the same reason as it had been over the past few weeks.

"You have to report her, this is getting out of hand," Ginny said to the tent flap.

"Do you want some pickled fig?" Luna asked, Ginny had learnt that offering inedible food was the Lovegood equivalent of a wistful sigh.

"Can I come in?"

"There are Doxylets, you're not allergic are you?"

"How would I know if I was?" Since they'd just been invented, Ginny wasn't too worried.

"I have a slight allergy, they make my eyes water."

Ginny pulled back the canvas flap and found Luna sat at the dining table within. Luna's work boots had been pulled off and rested at her feet and she was quietly crying.

"This allergy wouldn't also happen to be aggravated by Romilda Vane being a cow to you at work again, would it?" Ginny asked, watching her friend's chin wobble and scowling.

"She's right though, they don't want me there. They think I'm a sham, but I know how to take care of those creatures. We've all had the same training, just because they don't agree with what my dad and I write about doesn't mean I can't bloody sedate Maisy."

"The bloody Erumpent again?! Large warm-blooded creatures were your specialisation."

"They know that, Ginny, but it doesn't change anything. It just bothers me that the animals are suffering because I'm not likable." Luna sniffled a little and then shook her head as if to clear it. "I should really figure out a way to fumigate this room, little Doxylets get everywhere."

Ginny was always amused by Luna's lackadaisy tendency to wax lyrical about animals which only she believed in or which she had simply invented at her leisure.

"You are likable, you remember the DA— everyone adored you."

"Tell that to Romilda, she's the one you need to convince. I need her to like me for Maisy's sake."

"Invite her out for drinks then, we'll take her uptown to the open mic! When she sees you amongst your friends she'll have no choice but to like you!"

"I don't know. You really think it'll work?"

"Saturday night, usual spot, just watch what happens. I'll even invite George."

"He won't come."

"He might if he thinks you're there."

Luna laughed, and Ginny shook her head fondly. Who'd come out to see Luna, afterall? That's the thing about the DA. Ginny could rely on them to treat the resident oddball well.


Luna wasn't stupid, she knew that she was strange. She even likes that about herself, it meant that she was free. What she didn't like was office politics.

"Rubeus, would you mind getting Maisy and Lucas into the small pen, please? I need to check Lucas's sinus."

"Right ya' are. Tha's no problem," Luna's old professor replied, and trudged off to do her the favour. The two of them had been working closely that week at the Magizoological garden of London. The garden was set to open to the public the following year.

"Thank you!" Luna called after him, her eyes on her paperwork. She pulled the quill from her bun and jotted down some notes about the progress of the serpents she'd passed her morning with. "Romilda still hasn't laid," she mumbled.

"Are you talking to me?" Romilda asked, and Luna nearly leapt out of her skin.

She pulled her wand from behind her ear with little thought and was halfway to pointing it at the older girl before she caught herself and twirled the wood in her fingers.

"No," Luna said, raising her eyebrows. "I was referring to Romilda the snake, you see?" She lifted the chart.

"You're determined to name all of these creatures, aren't you? I don't know how you find the time. I always have far too much to do. It's great to have you here for stuff like that."

"Well, I find ways to get through novel little jobs like building a relationship with the animals quickly. Like most serpents don't really like to build relationships with people, so I just named them all Romilda to save time." It had seemed funny at the time, but it did occur to Luna that this might be an insult to the snakes.

"Is Hagrid taking two of the Erumpets out together?! Is he mad, we haven't reinforced these fences enough for that sort of monumental rutting!" Romilda snapped. "I told you not to authorise anything for animals of their scale without my permission."

"It's alright Romilda, it's Lucas and Maisy."

"I don't bloody care if it's Fred and George Weasley, no double act is worth the destruction of the entire compound." Romilda had a nasty habit of forgetting which pop culture figures were Luna's deceased friends when she was temperamental.

"They're brother and sister, they're not a mating pair. I need to conduct a delicate procedure on Lucas, so it'll be good to have Maisy there for him to keep him distracted."

"You really are batty, there'll be rutting whether they're related or not. They're categorised as beasts for a reason."

"Just trust me," Luna said, walking toward the paddock and pulling the relevant instrument from her belt.

"You must think I'm loony and all," Romilda snorted, and jogged passed Luna waving to Hagrid. "Take the female back in," she shouted, and he looked puzzled but complied.

"You know what, Romilda?!" Luna called after the other girl, who turned sharply and looked like she'd love nothing more than to report Luna for being rude.

"What?" Romilda asked, lip practically curling.

"You should come for drinks with me and everyone on Saturday."

"What?" Romilda repeated, but she seemed interested despite her confusion. Whatever Luna's failings might be in Romilda's eyes, Luna had confidence in her friends' power to strike the girl as cool. "Are you still in touch with... uhm... with your old crowd?"

Luna smiled and nodded. "Come and you'll see."


Luna really didn't care about being seen as cool, but she had forgotten how much she liked to be around her friends and see their smiling faces.

Maybe that's why she'd grown so attached to George; his smilee had become so rare but was beautiful as it had ever been. She was determined to bring it forth over and over.

"It was petty to call the serpents Romilda, you shouldn't encourage me!" Luna insisted, but the ginger wizard only continued to grin down at her.

"You invited her along, how bad could she be?" George asked, calling over the sound of the wizards playing funk on partially self-blowing wind instruments which allowed the musicians to lean forward and sing into the mic on occasion without breaking stride. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Luna was aware that George had invented those.

"I invited her along to remind her that I have cool friends so that she'll let me sample Erumpet noses without sticking her own in."

"As much as I appreciate the wordplay, you might want to tell Ginny you invited Romilda here to get her on side, she looks like she's fit to kill her," George said, his voice low, he spoke close to Luna's ear to be heard but she felt his breath on her neck.

"It was her idea," Luna pointed out, but sure enough, following George's line of sight she saw Harry looking embarrassed as Romilda wrapped herself around him like a cashmere scarf and Ginny was just short of cracking her knuckles. Luna rushed over, George in tow, completely unsure how she was going to defuse this situation without pretending everyone involved was a dragon.

Ginny might've whispered: "If there's no body, there's no crime."

Romilda turned to the red-eared Weasley girl just as Luna reached them.

"What did you just say to me?" Romilda asked.

Luna opened her mouth hoping something revelatory would come out. "Nargles," she whispered. "Such a menace."

"Oh, there you go talking nonsense as usual, Lovegood. Honestly, how you make a living in Magizoology is a mystery to us all."

Harry's jaw actually dropped at this, and Luna begged him with her eyes not to say anything when George cut in, and with a pained expression, he asked Romilda to dance.

In that moment the penny dropped, and Luna grinned at his retreating figure. He really did like her.

Despite the bubbling cauldron which had taken up residence in her stomach at this revelation, Luna felt Harry's eyes on her and turned to meet an agonised gaze.

He blew out a sigh and shook his head. "You know," he said, his voice low, and then a small smile appeared on his face as Luna and Ginny stepped closer. "I could probably get her fired, if you like."

Ginny laughed and slapped the man's chest. "You could get anyone fired," she said, and kissed his cheek.

"Let's just see how this pans out first," Luna said, watching Romilda dance happily with the wealthy celebrity who winked at Luna over the oblivious girl's head. Luna only beamed back.


"Teddy, can I get the key to Maisy's paddock please?" Luna asked the Metamorphmagus in charge of keeping the keys for the garden.

"Sure thing, Love," he said. He passed the key to her with a wave of his wand, not looking up from the copy of the Quibbler she'd left with him that morning. "I can't believe you got to work with an actual Banshee..."

Just as Luna plucked the keys from the air, she heard the all too familiar sound of Romilda's voice calling behind her.

"Lovegood!" she shouted.

"Yes," Luna replied, stubbornly tucking the keys into the pocket of her cloak.

"Same time this weekend?" Romilda asked, smiling.

"Absolutely," Luna replied, a little surprised. When Romilda simply looked pleased and walked away, Luna wondered if it wasn't too late to make a new friend.