159Long time no see! I realize I have not updated in years and I'm sorry about that. In my last update, I was talking about being in undergraduate and now I can say I am almost done with my doctorate program. Which, unsurprisingly, is part of why I haven't been around.
I also, realistically, needed to take some time to re-fall in love with this fic again. I reread some of it and was cringing at it, thinking about all of things I would have done differently now at 24 than what I did when I was 16/17 when I first started writing this thing. I thought about deleting it and rewriting it from scratch. But you know, it was all of y'all that kept this thing going. Even after years, people were still writing that they were enjoying this fic. So I sat down and got to writing. I have a lot of the last several chapters written, and I do intend on finishing this fic.
However, I also came to a compromise with myself. I'll be finishing this fic here as it is, and over on my Ao3 (writer_in_theory), I will be posting an updated version of this fic with all of the rewrites I had wanted to do in the few years I was on hiatus if anyone is interested. To be clear, I really do love this fanfic as it is because it was the original idea, which is why I want to finish it here. I just also wanted to give the option of seeing the revised version of what it looks like with my current writing style and ideas somewhere else too. I love this fanfiction and will be seeing it through to the end here, that I promise. There are 18 more chapters left in this first part, but things really do ramp up in the action after this chapter! I also have a part two plotted out, though I'm not sure if I want to post it in this story or as a second story on here entirely. If anyone has a preference, I'd love to hear it.
Anyway, I will quit rambling so you can get to this (long time coming) update.
I'll see y'all soon 3
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"When is your friend supposed to get here?" Rebecca asked as we sat together on the porch.
Almost immediately, my mouth opened as if to correct her of the real situation because there was no way Rosalie Hale would ever want to be referred to as my friend. In fact, any time I tried to think of a reason why she'd want to go prom dress shopping with me, my mind ran blank. There was no explanation at all for how today came to be, but of course, there was no explaining any of it to Rebecca. Somehow I didn't think she would accept my vampire boyfriend's vampire kinda-sister wanted to test if I was worthy of knowing their secret very well.
So instead, I shrugged. "Soon?"
"Do you know where you're going?"
"I know she wants to go to Seattle. That's where all the best dresses are. Apparently." The way Rebecca's eyebrows raised wasn't lost on me, but how could I explain that it was okay that Seattle was three hours away because Rosalie would probably speed like the rest of her family and get us there in half the time? "She said it's worth the drive."
"Just make sure you're back before curfew."
I couldn't even fault Rebecca and Will for being so protective of me, especially when it came to being around the Cullens. It was lucky that they even let me continue to be around the other family in any capacity, given what they think they know of the situation. If they knew any more than they already did, it probably would help matters even less. That made fighting the new curfew rule an impossibility, not that I even expected Rosalie and I to be out that long.
The red convertible was impossible to miss as it came down the street. If Will were there, I knew he'd be practically drooling over the fancy car. Though the Cullens had a goal of fitting in wherever they made their home, they never seemed to apply that to their cars. Rosalie's, though, was the flashiest, and for good reason. She was the one who cared about cars, as Emmett was quick to tell me. She picked most of them out and worked on them even when they had enough money to have someone else do it for them.
Rosalie didn't get out of her car. She didn't make a big show of introducing herself to Rebecca or promising to have me home at a good time. We were not friends and she wasn't about to make it seem otherwise. For that, at least, I was grateful.
"Have fun, Valerie!" Rebecca yelled out as I got into Rosalie's car.
It was too cold still to be driving with the roof down, but it didn't seem to bother Rosalie. Of course, it wouldn't, she's a vampire. We didn't really talk either, not for the first several minutes of the drive. There were quick moments here and there when the silent tension grew too much for me to not break.
"So, what's the plan?"
"There's a shop I like in Seattle. They should have something for the both of us." I wondered only briefly if there was anything I would be able to afford in said shop, knowing that the Cullens had no concept of finances after living for so long. That would be a problem for later me, however, if I found something I liked.
"Right, cool," I responded, letting the car lapse into quiet once more for a few minutes before speaking up again. "So you're going to prom? I thought Emmett said y'all don't like going to dances much."
Rosalie spent far too many seconds looking over at me then instead of at the road, but I knew she (probably) wouldn't put me in danger intentionally. "Contrary to popular belief, I enjoy getting to be normal. I don't like when we put ourselves at risk by doing so."
"Like by dating me." My cheeks burned then, at the implications of her words. "Why would you bring me all the way out here if you don't like me?"
She sighed then, like someone clearly tired of explaining something multiple times. "I don't dislike you."
"But you don't think I should be with Jasper."
The pause before she spoke was an answer enough for me. I turned my head toward the passenger-side door, watching the scenery rush by. My family didn't like us together, and part of Jasper's didn't either. Should we have been listening to them this entire time?
"You know the only end to this is your death, correct? Even if my brother commits miracles with his self-control, you will still have to turn to be with him." It wasn't the answer I was expecting from Rosalie. It wasn't the immediate disapproval I thought was coming, but rather a laying out of the facts.
The facts I did know, even if I wasn't ready to think about them yet. Because I was still eighteen, and this relationship was still too new. There were too many more immediate problems to work on between us than the distant future where I would have to decide if forever was something I wanted.
"We have time," I returned simply. "We have time to decide what we really want." To decide what I really want.
"And until then we're all in danger every minute you two spend together. We've all seen what can happen if his control lapses. It could happen again, and we've all decided that's a risk worth taking. That is what I don't like, Valerie, it's not personal."
We didn't talk for the rest of the drive, not that I would've known what to say had we done so. Nothing Rosalie said was false, and yet it was the first time that anyone had ever laid it out so clearly. With more context, I understood what Jasper had said in that horrible moment so many weeks ago. I knew that being near me took concentration and that it could be painful to be too close. I also knew that some parts of his past made it harder for him compared to the others, but in some way, he was trying to work on it to make this work.
It would be ridiculous to assume that nothing would ever go wrong again. I was dating a vampire, and like it or not that would come with risks. I could expect what happened to never be repeated, but to think that it would be easy from here on out simply because we were trying?
"Valerie." I almost didn't hear her the first time, as lost in the future as I had become. It wasn't until Rosalie allowed her expression to soften, if only slightly, that my mind forced itself back to the present. "What color dress are you looking for?"
It was so painfully normal I couldn't help but laugh. After so many talks about life and death, or the kind of danger I was willing to put myself in, the idea of a prom dress felt so far away. "Green, I think."
"That's what I would choose for you too," she said, thankfully giving me something else to focus on for now.
The shop we were parked outside of was unassuming, a homegrown storefront with a handpainted sign. It's not what I would have expected from Rosalie, but honestly, nothing about this trip had been so far. "I've been coming here since it first opened," she told me, a small conspiratorial smile lifting her lips as I looked at the sign again. 'Established 1938'. "The family knows me well."
"Do they know…?" I asked, wondering how many humans were let into this strange secret.
"I suspect they know more than they let on," she answered. "But no, they think I'm the granddaughter of the woman who was one of their first customers."
It must get exhausting, constantly reinventing themselves each time they moved cities.
The woman who ran the shop was indeed friendly with Rosalie, welcoming us in quickly and showing us right where the dresses were. Each of them was well-made—as I would later find out, delicately hand-made in a time when that was difficult to find. Though there were fewer options than at a department store, Rosalie took her time looking through each one. She spoke with the woman, Andrea, about each one. Though I couldn't follow all of it, I nodded my head and listened as they spoke about the inspiration behind each one. It was the most enthused I had seen Rosalie yet, as she discussed the same topics with this woman as she likely had the woman's mother.
I ended up wandering the shop as they spoke, not minding giving the two of them time. The rest of the shop was cute too, a place that I would have to return to by myself sometime.
It happened in the blink of an eye, so quickly that I wasn't even sure if I actually saw it correctly.
I looked up from a rack to peer out the storefront window and saw a man standing there across the street. He was gone before I could get another look like maybe he'd never been there at all. Still, though, I could've sworn that was the same greasy blond hair as—
"Valerie, did you hear me?" Rosalie was holding up a beautiful forest green dress, the sleeves meant to wrap around the upper arms instead of on the shoulders.
Should I tell her what I saw? Heart racing, I glanced back out the window but there was no one there. No one even resembling the man from California was nearby. Why would there be, when the incident happened so far from where I was now?
No, I must have been stressed. I'd been having nightmares about him for weeks, months even, it was no wonder I would start seeing him in places he couldn't be. Rosalie would only think I was losing it if I brought him up now.
So instead I walked over to look at the dress, smiling as Rosalie told me about the parts of it she thought would look good on me. At least, even if she didn't approve of my relationship with her brother, she would still spend a day helping me pick out the right outfit for a school dance.
In the end, I walked out with that dress while Rosalie had chosen her own in a light pink. She bought mine, too, claiming it was in thanks for humoring her with this trip.
All I learned this trip was that I won't ever fully understand Rosalie Hale.
It was quiet again on the drive home, but it didn't feel full of tension as the drive to Seattle. There wasn't a major shift in our relationship—I was sure Rosalie would still never want to consider me a friend, and I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to either, but it was something.
"Where are we going?" I asked as she passed the turn to my street. She kept driving through Forks until we were actually headed out of town entirely. It was the way to get to the Cullen house, but did she forget that I needed to be dropped off first?
"We have time until your curfew," Rosalie said, smirking at the mention of Will and Rebecca's rules for me. "I still think you're a bad idea, but if you're going to stick around you may as well get to know everyone."
"I've been to your house before."
"Yes, but my dear brother has been remiss in actually introducing you. So I'll do it for him. Besides, it wouldn't be terrible to have you around more," Rosalie said simply as she pulled into the garage of the house. "I imagine he'll be here soon, he gets worried."
As predicted, Jasper was the first to walk over when Rosalie and I entered the house. "What are you doing here?" he asked, looking like he was searching for some kind of sign of trouble. He stepped forward like he wanted to hug me, though he just as quickly stepped back into place. Because, for now, things would be as difficult as Rosalie warned they'd be.
"We got done early. Rosalie suggested we both come back here for a bit," I explained, trying not to laugh at the almost 'I told you so' expression on her face. "Is that okay?"
"More than," Jasper returned easily. "I'm always happy to see you, Darlin'."
"C'mon, don't get sappy on me now," I laughed, though it quickly turned into a shriek as large arms wrapped around me and swung me around. "Emmett, what did I say about picking me up?"
"That you love it when your friends are excited to see you," he said, laughing harder at the glare I sent his way.
"That is not what I remember."
"That's too bad your memory's already going, Valley."
"Emmett!"
"Don't antagonize the poor girl," another voice spoke up. Esme walked over to us, smiling and immediately opening her arms up for a hug from me. I'd only met her a handful of times, and in truth hadn't had the chance to talk to her after what had happened, but it was relieving to know she was still going to be friendly with me.
All of them, really. It would have been so easy for them to cut their losses and leave after what happened, but they chose to stay. They chose to trust me with all of this, and that was not lost on me.
"It's good to see you again," Esme told me, a twinkle in her golden eyes.
"It's good to see you too," I returned quickly, "thanks for letting me be here."
"Oh please, you're welcome any time."
Rosalie had long since disappeared in all of the chaos, but instead, Alice had walked up, grinning as she saw me.
"Oh good, I knew you'd come!"
Right. Alice Cullen could see the future—or, at least, the future based on the choices we've all made so far. Did it get tiring waiting for the results to happen as she saw them?
"You can referee Edward and I. We never get an audience anymore," Alice told me, looping her arm through mine to tug me in the direction of the living room.
"Because it's boring! Don't make her sit through that," Emmett teased her.
"What am I refereeing?" I asked, seeing the identical looks on Jasper and Emmett's faces.
"We're back to our game of chess," Alice explained. "It gets pretty competitive."
"How can chess be competitive?" I asked.
"Oh, you'll see!"
The reason for everyone's reactions became apparent soon enough. Alice and Edward spent more time staring at the board than actually making a move, which quickly turned into the both of them pushing each other to make a move. I supposed there really wasn't a good answer for either of them when one can see the future and the other can read minds. It really was a powerful duo when used together, to have someone see the future and another able to see it directly from them. But used against each other, it seemed they were in an impossible stalemate.
"How long has this game been going on?" I asked as Esme walked back into the room.
"Oh, they're still on their first game. It's been decades," she explained. "We tried to ban them from playing at one point, but they enjoyed it so much we couldn't keep that rule for long."
Decades. It was likely that before I was even around, these two were playing the same game of chess. Someday down the road, would this be me? Would I be stuck staring at the same chessboard without a clear sign of any forward movement?
"It's not as bad as it seems," Edward chimed, making my face flush as I was reminded that none of my thoughts were a secret when he was around. "I try not to pay attention to them if that helps."
It didn't, not really, but I nodded in assent all the same.
"Come with me," Esme told me, standing and nodding her head in the direction of the back of the house. She must have sensed my discomfort, even if she didn't have the gift for feeling it directly like Jasper did, for she guided me outside to the back porch. Below us, Jasper and Emmett were roughhousing in the small clearing of the trees. "It takes everyone some time to get used to it, dear, don't worry."
"What?"
"All of it," Esme said gently. "You found out very suddenly. No one can expect you to be okay with it quickly. Though, I have to admit my children do seem rather fond of you."
I laughed, maybe out of nervousness than in finding any real humor in what she'd said. Because all of it was jarring, even though I knew I wanted to continue having Jasper and his family in my life.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"You call them your children," I began, looking down as Emmett shouted out in victory. It didn't last long, however, because Jasper just as quickly stood up from the ground and lunged back at him, resuming whatever play fight seemed to be normal here. "But you didn't…I mean, they're all…"
"They're not my children by blood, no," Esme answered, clearly taking pity on me in my attempts to ask her my question. "Us vampires live in covens. They're similar to families, in a sense. After so many years together, it's not difficult to feel like they are my family. It would be the same for you if that's what you choose."
"Right," I breathed out, glancing down at where the boys were again. They'd stopped fighting, Jasper standing still and looking up at me. "It's that easy then?"
She almost made it sound too easy. They'd all immediately welcomed me in, even spending today pulling me in multiple directions to spend time with me. Was that really all it took, Jasper and I choosing each other, for me to be a part of their family? After all of the warnings, all of the secrecy, it felt like there should be some kind of test, something to prove that I could make it with their group.
Distracted, Jasper didn't see as Emmett resumed their roughhousing. Esme laughed at the surprised look on his face. "He doesn't get caught off-guard often, except with you," Esme said. "I love my children, but after so many years alive it's easy to grow stagnant. You're good for him, for all of them. It's that easy."
You're good for him.
It was a heavy thought, one I wasn't sure I was ready for. Still, it sat warmly in my chest despite the late afternoon chill. I didn't know what I wanted my future to look like, even less so if I wanted to be a part of this in the complete sense of the word, but I did know I cared for Jasper and I wanted to be a part of his life.
So, whether it was as easy or as hard as everyone seemed to think it would be, I was willing to do whatever it took.