Kitty Coffee

"Hey, this is really good coffee!" Tim remarked as he filled his second cup from the batcave coffee maker.

"I am glad you appreciate it, young sir," Alfred replied, wiping down the map table. " As you know, I generally prefer tea, but this blend was recommended to me in the highest terms so I acquired some."

"That good, huh?" Jason remarked, sliding his cup in after Tim's. He took a sip and his eyebrows raised. Then he frowned. "This isn't decaf, is it? I only got four hours of sleep last night and I need to stay awake on patrol."

"It is, I believe the term is, fully leaded, Master Jason," Alfred replied.

Dick appeared at the door, fully kitted out in his Nightwing array except for his mask. "Whatcha drinkin'?" he asked.

"Alfred bought some new coffee," Tim said, gesturing at his half-empty cup. "You should try it!"

Dick went to the coffee maker and took a sniff. "Just what brand is this, Alfie?"

"It is an Indonesian coffee, I believe they call it...um...Kopi Luwak," Alfred said.

Dick's smile spread into a grin. "Did Selina Kyle recommend this coffee to you?"

"Why, yes, she did," Alfred said. "Now that Master Bruce and she are dating, she and I often exchange pleasantries. Her catnip cookies were quite tasty."

Dick's grin broadened and he began to giggle, then erupted into a belly laugh. He'd begin to slow down, then catch sight of Tim and Jason both frowning at him, then break down again.

"What is it, Dick? What's so funny?" Tim demanded.

"Yeah, what are you laughing about?" Jason said, putting down his cup of coffee.

Dick waved a hand. "Oh, don't let me stop you! Go ahead and drink up your kitty coffee!"

"Kitty coffee?" Alfred asked with perplexity. "Is it made from cats?"

"Almost," Dick snorted with laughter, then reined himself in. "The beans are eaten by civet cats and then...um...pooed out again. It changed the flavor."

"We're drinking cat poo?" Jason shouted. Tim turned pale and put his cup down.

"I had two cups of this stuff! Alfred...I feel sick..."

"Oh, it's not poisonous," Dick said. "Just gross. And really expensive. It's a luxury, gourmet coffee, supposedly the best in the world."

"Best in the world," Jason said. "I think I'm gonna go make myself puke. Alfred, I'll take Folger's instant in my thermos tonight!"

"Me, too!" Tim gasped and followed Jason at a run to the tiny bathroom at the back of the cave.

"Kitty coffee," Alfred said. "Honestly, Master Dick."

"It's okay, Alfred," Dick replied, moving over to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Only the bag came from Indonesia. I switched out the beans this morning. Nothing here but good old Kona coffee. And it's all for me."