The morning came with all sorts of silences.
No one spoke, no one uttered a word to anyone.
It was solemn in all sense of the word, most of the Order had retired home to recover from the horrific event and the ones who were left either slept or sat in complete silence, mulling over what had happened. Unable to comprehend what had taken place in the ministry of magic. Among these people was Remus, he sat alone on the library sofa, eyes red from both mourning and lack of sleep.
The poor man looked disheveled, like he had neglected his needs for a good week, there was a look of emptiness in his eyes, a look that reflected the loss he had suffered. Around him was a mess of scattered books and sheets, a memory of the sleepless night that had ensued, he didn't plan to sleep but the heaviness in his eyes became to much so he attempted to rest.
Sadly to no avail, the clocked ticked by and soon enough morning came around, he had managed to drift of into a rocky slumber once or twice only to awaken a few moments later and remember exactly why he couldn't sleep. Fresh in his mind he could see his friends eyes as they drifted off into the veil, the scream that came from Harry's mouth. Oh god the scream...
Remus lurched forward and buried his head in his hands, his fingers sliding through his messy hair, curling into tight fists as he tried to banish the memory from his mind, it seemed like the worst of it was over but he knew he would feel like this for a good while. It would take at least a month before he would be able to muster a smile and hide the pain he was feeling, loosing a good friend he knew too well and the pain he felt was fresh.
First James and Lilly.
Then Peter, although then he didn't know of the mans betrayal.
The man he thought was guilty of murder, the man who deserved freedom and a life with his godson and partner only to have the opportunity ripped from him at an age far too young to die. Some would say the Black family curse was partly to blame for this horrible occurrence. Most members of this bloodline were known to die at a young age but Remus knew better, he knew that this was just fates way of ripping lives apart, a way to tell people that happy endings didn't exist.
Adelaide's life was one that had been completely torn.
Hurt in the past and given the chance at a knew and better life, with a man who promised to treat her as a woman should be treated, all those times she spoke of the travels that she and Sirius would have with Harry and Thomas, the world travel they planned when Harry left school and Thomas returned home. They seemed like nothing more than empty conversation now...Another life ripped from her, another golden light that has turned grey.
The poor woman didn't even get the chance to fight with Harry for his freedom.
Remus looked up to see Adelaide, holding her nightdress closed as she peaked into the library, the darkness under her eyes told him immediately that she had suffered the same restless night, he nodded weakly and she slunk in, closing the door behind her. Quietly she drifted over to him and took a seat beside him, leaning against the comfort of the sofa she stared ahead, blank and empty, her hand resting on her knee. Placing his hand over hers, he rubbed her knuckle softly, barely managing to spare a glance her way.
The two sat in silence.
Understanding that what they needed was comfort and silence, just to know someone was there was enough to somehow relax them, unwind the tense feeling that loomed through the house. Adelaide, one of his oldest and dearest friends. The only old friend he had left. A sense of fear would prickle in his mind at the thought of this, at the thought of knowing that she was all he had left, that if she passed then he would be completely and utterly alone...
That's how he felt in this moment. Wanting nothing more than to keep her safe, hidden behind a shield, he knew it was a toxic thought but he really wanted to keep her safe and make sure she stayed within the safety of these walls. Remus knotted his brows and closed his eyes, this must have been how Sirius felt after the whole ordeal with the death eaters not to long ago. Isolation was never the key and thoughts like these would only harm his well being. Well what was left of it.
Adelaide parted her lips for a moment, the movement catching his eye as he heard her take a small but sharp intake of breath, she wanted to tell him something but it seemed whatever it was caught itself in her throat, instead tears welled in her eyes and her mouth shut. It must have been something to painful to even think about in that moment. The woman closed her eyes and tried to gather her emotions together, to muster up the courage to leave the room.
They needed to eat and freshen up.
Remus watched her gaze flicker from the door to her lap, her understood and slowly got up himself, holding out his hand he looked to her with warm understanding eyes, eyes that shared her pain and anguish, they both knew that what they were feeling, they both felt each others pain and sorrow.
"Together?" He asked, his voice hoarse and crackling.
Adelaide nodded and took his hand, standing with him, they link arms and began to make their way out of the room, both of them hoped that whoever was left over had gone and left them to peace, crowds and sympathetic looks were less to be desired at this moment. All they wanted was silence and isolation. Just a day after grim news and emotions were still high, anything could begin the wave of emotions that were already threatening to spill. Tears were inevitable.
Walking down the stairs they could hear faint murmurs coming from the living room, the voices of Madeye and Kingsley could be recognised, they sounded tired and distant, the two friends faces grew increasingly tired as they walked into the living-room. The two Aurors turned to them and without a word simply nodded respectively, the look in their eyes suggested they understood the two's need for space, instead of leaving however Adelaide looked to Kinglsey.
"How is Harry?"
Kinglsey shook his head. "He's not taking it too well, we've given him some space to mourn the loss." The man explained. "The boys exhausted."
The woman nodded and looked down, trying to contemplate her next word, the various emotions ran through her eyes before finally she looked up to Kinglsey, there where tears glazing over her eyes but her face remain strong and set in a determined look. She was trying not to break.
"Keep me updated please, I want to make sure the boy gets enough help." She uttered.
As the auror nodded the woman walked to the kitchen, behind her followed Remus who was quickly stopped by a hand on his shoulder, he turned, looking to Kingsley with nothing but an husk of a gaze, he didn't bother to say a word, only wait for the man to speak.
Kingsley smiled a little. "If you need us, don't hesitate." The man nodded.
Remus felt the corner of this mouth twitch, he nodded. "I wont."
The wolf then moved into the kitchen, his eyes coming over Adelaide who fussed over making tea, letters were strewn about the table, many from the old back and forth she and Sirius used to have, it seemed she had been down here earlier. Observing the papers closely he could see wet splotches staining the parchment, he felt his chest grow heavy as he pictured her hunched over the memories, weeping tears. It was moments like these he wished he was there to offer support and help her but at that time he too was crying himself.
Another letter caught his eye.
Addressed from St Mungo's, he knotted his brows, wondering why a letter from them was mixed in, a little mistake prehaps? Picking up the letter the man eyed it over, tears stained the page, indicating that whatever as on this letter had to have an involvement with Sirius and her. Clinking of cups broke him from his mindless snooping, instinctively he shoved the letter into his pocket and walked over to Adelaide to help serve the tea. The woman poured and he stirred, taking his mug carefully into his hands after the task was completed.
Walking back to the table he slipped into a seat and listened as his friend came walking over shortly after, seating herself opposite to him, in the seat beside where Sirius usually ate his dinner. Remus's eyes drifted over to the space, he could almost imagine his friend there now, scolding the two for their sad faces, his smile lighting up the room in the way it always did. And that chuckle. A chuckle that only the devilishly rebellious Sirius Black could muster.
The banter they would have.
If only fate weren't so cruel.
"I can picture it too." Adelaide croaked. "I've imagined him everywhere, I even thought he was in our bed at one point, fast asleep.."
Remus's eyes snapped to her. "I can just picture him here now, laughing, joking..."
"I keep thinking he's still alive." His friend replied, her voice breaking. "Like any moment he will walk through that door and scoop me up into a hug."
"Or blurt out one of his most famous one liners."
Adelaide smiled a little and nodded, the tears that once glistened in her eyes now fell down her cheeks, she swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head, looking down to her mug of tea, the wolf opposite he reached over and wrapped his hand around her wrist softly. The woman looked up, the small weak smile still on her lips, it was heartbreaking to see, so much so Remus began to cry himself. Just the thought of his friend walking through the door was enough to send that harsh hit to his chest.
They both knew the harsh reality, they both knew he was never coming back.
But just thinking he was alive seemed to tempting, to float off into their own world, a world where he was still alive and out there, lost.
"Why did he have to be so reckless?" Adelaide croaked.
Remus shook his head. "That's always been him."
The woman nodded. "He was a rascal." She breathed. "And I loved him for it."
"We all did."
Adelaide took in a breath and raised her cup to her lips, taking a small sip of her drink, her eyes moved over to the stove and remained there, she placed down the mug and closed her aching eyes. Remus followed her gaze, staring silently at the empty stove, mulling over the memories of his friend, his mind unable to break out of the endless replay of moments they had spent together.
The woman sigh, the same sigh he heard too many times, the sad, desperate, shaky expel of breath that prickled at his heart and brought nothing but sadness and frustration. The same sigh he heard after her divorce, after loosing the court battle and after she confessed all of the pain she went through during her past marriage. And now. The sigh she let out after hearing that the love of her life and best friend was murdered.
Remus looked up to see her sitting as still as still can be, her face aimed to her mug of tea, her expression unreadable as tears slowly ran down her cheeks, he noticed her once peachy palette had faded into a sickening grey, the light that used to shine in her eyes was now nothing but smoking remains. The darkness had taken over her shining look, framing circles under her eyes and slowly creeping to her cheeks.
It was clear she was exhausted and stressed beyond belief, all the nights of tension and fear, all without reward, those night combined with the passing of her partner and sleepless nights began to make themselves known on her face. Eating away at the warm and happy woman she once was. Turning her into an almost living corpse, a husk of the person she once was.
Remus was the same.
Barely had the chance to look in the mirror he knew he looked a mess, he felt it, the ache in his throat and dryness in his eyes, not to mention the smell that lingered on him. The smell that came after hard fighting at the battle, he couldn't even think of bathing earlier but now it was all he wanted to do, to wash that battle off of himself, forget the smell all together.
Disheveled clothes completed his zombie like look, dirt stained his clothing, dirt from the ministry that clung to his clothes, forcing him to re live that moment. Over and over. Remus closed his eyes and slumped over, he felt the pressure of a million problems on his shoulders, pushing down his spirit, telling him that there was no point remaining strong. He may as well give up.
He wouldn't though.
Giving up wasn't what Sirius would have wanted.
Knowing him he would have wanted Remus to stay strong, to push through life with all his might and live it to the best potential, despite the prejudice and fear that people felt for people like him. The same would go for Adelaide, after all she had his best interest, he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, to find that happiness she had lost. It was easier said than done though, after all getting over a death like this was no quick progress.
It would be slow.
It would be hard.
Looking to Adelaide, the wolf draped his hand over her arm and squeezed it softly, they would get through it together, support each other in this time and make sure that Harry was getting the same help too, they needed to remain strong for the boy and take their own time to mourn the loss of their friend. It would be a long road ahead and the golden light at the end of this dark time was barely visible. That was no excuse to give up however.
They would go through this together. No matter what this dark time threw at them.