I don't own Naruto and I don't make a profit off of my stories

Warnings – Au, Sexual content, language, violence, Mpreg, good Guren, Good Danzo, Evil Tsunade, Evil Orochimaru

(I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

Pairing: Yaoi M/M, Harem - seme Naruto x uke Shino / Kurama / Kimimaro / Konohamaru / older Hikaru / Utakata


"hey Kakashi-sensei can you train me today?" asked a hopeful Naruto.

"No Naruto, I told you, you have to work on that chakra control before I teach you anything. I'm training Sasuke today" Kakashi said casually as he and Sasuke left leaving Naruto and Sakura behind.

(of course you do because there's only one member on a team) the blonde thought sarcastically "hey, Sakura do you-"

"No, I don't want to go out with you" Sakura snapped as she stomped away

"I only wanted to train not mentally scar myself" mumbled the blonde as he walked away with a look of disgust on his face. The thought of dating the pinkette made him feel physically ill "where exactly did she get the idea that I liked her? … we never spoke before being put on team 7 and if I knew it would happen I would've blackmailed jiji into putting me on a different team! Let someone else deal with this shit! … and when exactly does this become teamwork? I don't see how it's possible when the only thing we do together is argue … oh well … I can go home and study up on some seals. My long distance eyesight is shot until I get used to sensei's jutsu" Naruto said and continued walking deeper into the woods. He was about to reach into his pocket and pull out a notebook of advanced seals, but decided not to when he heard the sounds of fighting in the distance. He walked towards the sounds and came upon a training ground with four people, two off to the side and two sparing. However each person seemed blurry …

One of the people on the sidelines noticed him "h-hi N-Naruto, w-would you like to j-join us?"

Naruto smiled as he recognized the timid voice and knew who it was even as his vision blurred a little more like it has been doing all day "hey, Hinata, I'd like that … if it's alright with your sensei that is" the blonde grinned at the small blurry woman.

Kurenai smiled "of course it is Naruto. Oh, we haven't officially met yet, I'm Kurenai Yuuri the sensei for team 8"

Naruto smiled (she's nice to me. Finally a sensei not only competent, but open minded) "Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meet you"

After watching the sparring match a little longer Kurenai told Hinata to join the fight with Shino and Kiba. That's when she noticed that Naruto was squinting "Naruto, is something wrong with your eyes?"

Naruto stiffened and immediately tried to hid the fact that he was squinting "no nothing's wrong … I think I have an eyelash in my eye that's all" Naruto said as he rubbed his eye pretending to get the fake eyelash and he relaxed when Kurenai turned her attention back to the match.

"I got to admit that new collar on Akamaru sure is cute, what do you think Naruto?" said the jonin casually.

"oh, yeah it's ni- …shit …" Naruto suddenly remembered that Kiba told him that dog-nin don't wear collars because the metal could flash and betray it's position to the enemy, but it was to late. Kurenai caught him (damn I need to think of something quick)

The jonin watched Naruto "Naruto, do you need glasses?"

(that's good I'll go with that! If I play the neglected demon card jiji will need to get involved and he can deal with it) Naruto nodded and hung his head sadly like a child who was caught red handed.

"then why haven't you gotten them?" the jonin asked.

(20/20 vision) he quipped mentally before considering his cover story. Naruto frowned, he wanted to say that he already had them, but then he'd have to explain where they were now and that will lead to another can of worms … when in doubt blame reality "I can't afford them" he said as a part of him was hoping she would act like Kakashi and drop it, but he wasn't sure about how she'd react so he hoped the hokage wasn't busy right now in case someone came in with a complaint, which almost never happens what with his demon stigma. There were a couple people who cared enough to do that and he cared for those people a great deal …

Kurenai was confused "but you're a ninja, the village pays for those things"

Naruto shook his head "that's not what I mean Kurenai-sensei. I mean people with my … condition can't afford them" he gestured to his stomach clearly indicating the demon inside him. so is this the moment she'll leave well alone? Kakashi would have ditched him long ago … if he'd even bother to notice the squinting, which was doubtful.

With a frighteningly sweet smile Kurenai addressed Shino, Kiba and Hinata "you guys we're going to cut todays' training short. Naruto, you are coming with me" Kurenai grabbed the blonde by the collar and dragged him away. This wasn't exactly what Naruto expected to happen, but once she thinks the hokage is handling everything she'll drop it (ok … she has bigger balls than I expected … at least the old man will help. Does she know I can walk on my own or is she going to drag me all the way to jiji's office? … drag it is apparently) the 17 year old blonde thought as he rolled his eyes and let the woman drag him to their destination.

Kiba blinked "what was that about?" he pondered out loud and his teammates shrugged.


Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage of Konoha, was sitting back smoking his pipe and relaxing after a long day of fighting the evil paperwork.

"Hokage-sama" said a sickly sweet voice. Sarutobi turned and saw Kurenai with dangerously sweet smile on her face and a twitching Naruto trying to break free from her grasp. The hokage knew his peaceful break was over "we need to chat, hokage-sama" said the jonin as she slammed the door to his office shut went to Sarutobi's desk dragging Naruto with her "Naruto just told me that he is being denied certain things like glasses because of his status as a demon vessel"

Sarutobi's eyes widened. Admittedly he was baffled at first, but then Naruto gave him a look that basically said 'play along' "what? Naruto why didn't you tell me?" the Third was hurt that the boy he considered a grandson couldn't come to him for help … or so it sounded.

"most people seem to think that I'm controlling you or something. When you're nice to me things get harder for you, like more paperwork, council complaints and other things. I didn't want to cause you trouble" admitted Naruto (we need to get her off my back, so spill old man)

Sarutobi frowned, he understood the message. There were many things going on in Naruto's life that the blonde wanted to hide so in an emergency they agreed to use the truth to hide deeper truths "Naruto, I want you to tell me exactly what has been going on" the Third said sternly playing his part perfectly.

Naruto sighed and told them everything. He told them about being forced to use broken or dull weapons. That he wasn't allowed to buy decent clothes or food. That no one gave him an actual medical exam at the academy and the disturbing list continued … such a disturbing thing to hear that it was hard to think there was more to hide and yet there was.

Sarutobi and Kurenai were at first shocked, but shock quickly gave into anger "this ends now" said Sarutobi and he fumbled through his desk before pulling out a set of papers. Ready to show Kurenai everything will be handled "does Kakashi know about any of this treatment?"

"ummm … no I don't think so?" said Naruto with a frown (nice one, make Kakashi look like an idiot. Now he'll never train me. Thank god for sensei)

Kurenai raised an eyebrow "you've been on his team for six months now, right? Surely he noticed something during training … what has he taught you?"

"tree walking" Naruto said earning a genuine twitch of annoyance from Sarutobi.

"and …" Kurenai urged gently hoping there was something else on this list.

"that's it" Naruto shrugged pretending to not see the problem (wow … she seriously pissed) he thought as he felt killer intent roll off the jonin in waves.

"do you have everything handled hokage-sama?" she asked 'kindly' meaning there was only one proper answer …

"yes" Sarutobi said quickly.

"good. If you need me I'll be looking for Kakashi" she said with a dangerously sweet tone, but just as she was about to storm out she smiled at Naruto "if you need anything you can come to me and my team" Kurenai said before leaving.

Naruto made sure the door was shut before smirking "I like her … Kakashi might die today"

"if so I can't say I'll care. He should be training you seriously" Sarutobi said as he put away the untouched papers.

"it's fine. I would've liked to get to know him, but …" Naruto trailed off as if thinking about something "yeah, he won't approve of a decision I made … also there are a few things he can't teach me since he lacks the it … like competence" Naruto insulted the Copy cat ninja happily getting a chuckle out of the old man.

Sarutobi smiled at the young 17 year old ninja "quite true, but you should have real tem training. I'll talk to Danzo and see if we can arrange for one of his trainees to be put with you and your little friend to make a team. Maybe your sensei or one of Danzo's elite can be the team sensei, but you need to piss off Kakashi enough for him to want you off the team otherwise I cannot legally take you off the team. Oh and find some sort of glasses solution or Kurenai will think I didn't keep my promise and that could spell the end for me" Sarutobi pouted as Naruto seemed to find the comment funny "I'm serious, I want to live!" he wailed childishly …


Kakashi sneezed in the middle of demonstrating a new jutsu resulting in a pillar of water firing back at him and sending him into a tree "what a terrible time for people to gossip about me" he said as he pulled himself out of the dented tree.

"whatever" Sasuke snorted and started trying the jutsu he just copied with his Sharingan. Moments after completing the hand signs the resulting pillar started to shoot upwards only to explode as a pissed off Kurenai blasted through it.

"KAKASHI HATAKE YOU SCUMBAG!" Kurenai roared as she stomped passed the Uchiha, who will never admit that she scared him, and up to Kakashi.

Kakashi clapped his hands over his clothed crotch to protect his balls as he screamed "the cameras in the hot spring were Ebisu's idea not mine! Spare me!"

"what?" Kurenao blinked in shock, but her shock drained away revealing irritation "that's another subject we'll discuss, but right now I want to discuss Naruto's severe lack of training. Why haven't you taught him anything beyond tree walking or helped him with problems he has with the villagers? "

Sasuke snorted "he's weak why bother"

"Sasuke's right, Naruto hasn't shown any skill in chakra control and in other things. I gave him a list of exercises and I can't train him until he completes it. As for the villagers I'm sure he's exaggerating. You shouldn't waste your time on him. If you leave him alone maybe he'll realize he has to figure some things out on his own" Kakashi said cheerily as Sasuke smirked.

(what the hell … did he really say that? The bastard!) Kurenai thought not understanding why Kakashi would be so blasé about Naruto's life "I find it a bit hypercritical of you to say that when you're clearly bottle feeding everything to Sasuke" the Uchiha sneered in disgust at the comment "how about this … I'll take over Naruto's training. If in the three months leading up to the Chunin exam he has shown a chunin level jump in skills you are my slave for the next two years, but if he shows little or no progress by the exams I'll get you a bathhouse pictures of any 10 ladies you want. Also if I find Naruto was making things sound worse than they really were with the villagers then I'll video tape a threesome of ladies for you"

Kakashi's eyes bulged at the offer, which was a dream come true "deal!" he shook her hand, but winced as she squeezed really hard "ow ow ow"

"now what was this about cameras?" Kurenai asked in a deadly sweet tone.

The silver haired jonin broke out in a fearful cold sweat "mommy"


Naruto walked deep into the forest where a small cottage sat next to a flowing river so it's large wooden watermill attached to the side dipped into the stream keeping it turning "hey I'm home-oof" Naruto was tackled to the ground. When he looked up to see who was straddling his hips he saw an adorable fair skinned red haired male with red eyes, fluffy fox ears, a fluffy fox tail and completely naked save for a frilly pink apron "hello Kurama … nice outfit" he said while biting back a groan as Kurama shifted effectively cause friction in a sensitive area.

"I don't like yours" Kurama pouted cutely and tugged at the orange fabric.

"I can't change if you're on top of me" Naruto chuckled as the foxy male pondered whether or not he really wanted to give up his spot, but before Kurama could make up his mind Naruto spotted a blue haired woman in a long sleeved green dress and fluffy white collar coming out of the forest "hey Guren-sensei"

"hey to you Naruto … having fun?" Guren asked with a lot of amusement in her dark eyes as her student seemed quite comfortable with the sexy red head straddling him "ok, fun time is over. Get off him Kurama, you can cuddle him later, but I want to check his eyes" she said and Kurama's fluffy ears dropped as he reluctantly moved off the blonde "now Naruto you made great progress in the Crystal release, but how are you adjusting to the Crystal Spy Glass jutsu? Eyes still blurry?" Guren asked as they all went into the cottage and sat down in the cozy sunny living that had more windows than walls and several skylights in the high ceilings.

"not great. It's taking a while to adjust and there were some issues because of it" Naruto said as Kurama cuddled next to him "I'll explain later, but don't worry. I doubt Kurenai will get involved again"