I don't own KonoSuba.


Birth Of A Kaleidoscope User

A New Beginning

He came to awareness in a black room. He was sitting on a bland and utterly nondescript chair. Suddenly he heard footsteps and blinked as a woman came to sight.

Then she sat on a throne-like chair, with a desk next to it, and an open bag of chips on top of it. He blinked.

"Yes. You died. Get over it." And a roll of her eyes were her actions.

"What?" He was startled to further awareness by the sound of his voice, it was different, younger somehow.

She leaned to her right and there appeared another desk and a book on top, she took the book and flipped through it: "It seems you died, hmm, while trying to save a baby dog? Ah, and the puppy wouldn't have died either, the car was too high, the pup would have just been scared of cars later, now it is traumatized for life, hope you feel better about yourself." She finished with a glare, then she said a name: "Yuusha Hiro."

"Eh?" What the hell was she talking about? His name wasn't so stupid sounding, Chunni name! And he definitely didn't jump in front of a car to save anything or anyone!

"Now, you have two options here… Pause for dramatic effect… You either go to heaven or go to a world filled with adventure, romance, magic, and all sorts of fun stuffs you won't find in heaven which is filled with old people sunbathing for forever and talking about life in the real world… Pause for dramatic effect… Also, there isn't any sex there."

"You said pause for dramatic eff-

"No, I didn't."

"I am pretty sure you did. Twice."

"Anyway, which will you chose, if you are going to the adventure world then you may pick a power from this catalog here." She grabbed the said cataloguer and threw it at him…

He glared at her for a moment, while she dumbly ate her chips and stared him down haughtily, with a sigh he took the cataloguer and paged through it to find something he liked…

"Can I pick something not on this cataloguer? Like a power I read about in my life?" She quickly said no, mouth still full of chips.

'Gods, what is she a divine of? She sure has the body of a goddess, but her behavior is like her domains in line with Namira's!'

(AN: Skyrim's goddess of disgust)

He kept looking, there were so many awesome skills and items, from swords that drained the blood of the ones hit to empower him to the power to manipulate all liquids, to the power to gain the skills of the being he ate. Suddenly he stopped…

In front of him was a skill… Possibly the best one…

"Hey… Can I get this with Kaleidoscope, like the one Zelretch uses?" He showed her the tiniest part offered for possibly the most awesome power inside the cataloguer.

She read it through and frowned, then suddenly there was a dial phone, whose color was swirling in and out and sideways, he averted his eyes before the tingling inside his head became more. She was talking to the phone.

"The domain option is clearly OP, I know we are giving them OP options to make the transition easier for them but isn't this too much? I know, I know, OK, I'll roll with it if you do as well, see ya, bye, no you first, gurl I have literally eternity on my hands you can't outwait me, and I can easily make other phones as well. Okay, come visit me soon, it gets lonely with all these self-sacrificing suicidal idiots… Who knows what He thinks, you know how He is. Uhuh. Kinda, I mean I have chips and all sorts of takeout in here but I wouldn't say no to some real food, generating them just isn't the same you know. Uhuh, I will?! Kyaah! Thank you thank you thank you! I am going to be awesome down there! Oh you know me, or at least versions of me enough to know what kind of Goddess I, Aqua, am. What did Eris do, huh? That padded bitch is a liar and a thief! She even shows mercy to the monsters, fuck her! Oh… Okay, goodbye."

With that, the phone was closed and it disappeared from his sight…

"What was it you wanted?"

"I wanted the Kaleidoscope as a domain, this power offers domains of one's choice, and I chose Kaleidoscope."

"Hmm… Okay. The local director of the Kaleidoscope has agreed to give you the domain, but that doesn't mean you will be all powerful the moment you get it, you will have to train it, since we are downgrading it a bit your sense of self won't be degraded from information overflow as you increase your control over it, so it isn't all bad. Now sit tight, I am sending you to a world of adventure, fun, and glory and magic! Go forth o' great hero, and defeat the demon king… Ah, yeah your mission is to kill the demon king, you get a wish if you do but don't sweat it!" She yelled as he suddenly found himself in a village squire…

"The… Fuck…" He said as information flowed through his mind.

The information was of an anime called KonoSuba…

"I am a self-insert type character..?" He muttered in wonder before shaking himself and looking at his surroundings, from the way the tree swayed with the wind to the shadows to the various things people talked about to the way sun hurt his eyes… It all seemed real… He looked at his hands, he could see the pores in his hands, it was real…

'Multiverse theory? If one person thought one thing in one dimension, and if there are infinite dimensions, then that means somewhere out there a person lived that thing.' He frowned and refocused on his situation. He was penniless. He was jobless. He was powerless in a cruel world.

He sighed, he knew what he had to do, he had a connection to the Kaleidoscope, he could feel that connection… He closed his eyes and sat down on the dirt floor, his back to the wall of the home and focused on the connection, searching through it and learning from it…

His eyes opened and his gaze focused on the money bag on the belt of a noble, his hand shot forwards and he made a grasping motion, and his hand was full of gold and silver coins. He counted them, seven silver and five gold, he pocketed it and made his way towards the adventurer's guild.

The place was as loud as it was in the show, he entered, gave a nod to the buff man, the one with the stupidly long name and called this place Gates of Hell in the anime, and went to the counter, to his surprise it wasn't Luna on the job. He smiled and was given a form to fill, after giving two gold coins as the membership fee, then he had an idea.

"Miss, would it be possible to write a different name than my birth one, I wish to leave that life behind me." She smiled understandingly and said that many others had done the same, so he could too.

Thus Yaman Kurt was born.

Name: Yaman Kurt

Title: Kaleidoscope Magician In Training

Race: Human

LF: 110

SF: 311

Strength: 7

Speed: 4

Vitality: 11

Endurance: 18

Intelligence: 9

Spirit: 311

Charisma: 3

Luck: 5

The moment the counter girl read his status screen she let out a loud: "Eh?!"

Then was quick to explain: "This is completely different than any other status card I have seen, let me get my superior." In short order Luna was in front of him, frowning in confusion.

"Weird… Your Luck is average, your charisma is below average, your Spirit, which is I am assuming the Mana stat, is huge but the amount of mana it gives per point is 1 rather than 10… It might be better to count it as 31 rather than 311, that is still six times the average, if I am right on my estimations. Your Intelligence is above average. Your Endurance is about thrice the average. I have no idea what this Vitality stat shows, other than maybe your HP, which is shown as LF for some reason. Your speed is below average while your strength is above average…" She frowned at the card in thought before shrugging.

"The best I can come up with is all this is your title's work. Other than that I have no idea. Still… I welcome you to Axel's Adventurer's Guild, what class do you wish to be? Your stats, weird as their listings might be, suggests a variety of classes would be suitable for you, not the master classes of course but your options are still lar-



"I want my class to be Adventurer."

"Bu-but you can get so many better suited, more advanced classes! You can be a knight! Please reconsider, becoming adventurer, taking up the mantle of that lowest possible class is… It is madness!"

"Meh, I like some madness from time to time, besides I like to keep my options as wide open as possible, and with enough training I can learn anything and everything other classes can offer me, in short, I want to personalize my class, make my own path." He nodded determinedly.

Luna sighed dejectedly and made his class Adventurer.

Yaman grinned and after saying his thanks he made his way to the mission board and took a look at the long list of jobs available.

Since it was summer there weren't the giant frog or snow sprite missions, but there was the mission to exterminate undead in the graveyard, there was a note saying it was a slow disgusting job with little benefits other than the somewhat worthwhile monetary reward and finally ridding the city of that terrible rotten smell.

His eyes skipped past the menial jobs like picking up trash, being an adventurer was about going out and killing monsters and using magic, not working as a food delivery guy!

There was the Runner Lizard quest where you had to take out the female so they would stop running through crops.

There was the goblin extermination mission, which he immediately refused off the top of his head because according to what he knew sometimes wolf-like monsters called Rookie Killers were using them as bait, and he didn't feel like he was ready to fight a bunch of tiny swarm of the fast-moving poisonous makeshift knife using green-skins.

Then there are those other Nope, nope, nope type missions like facing down a dragon, and the one where you had to guard a carriage or escort someone to somewhere out of the city walls. The high-level monster facing ones were out without even a consideration, the guarding missions were discarded only because he was a newbie to this whole world and he slept, thus he needed a team to take on any guard mission.

He looked around… Then his eyes spotted a certain beauty by the name of Eris, and Chris. He sat down and focused on the Kaleidoscope.

He went through twenty simulations, twenty possible ways to approach her and all of them ended in failure. The first one ended when he tripped on his own feet, the second was when one of the rowdy guys accidentally elbowed his nuts, and the other ones where he actually got to talk weren't much better.

He frowned as he opened his eyes, each simulation took place in real time so he wasted a lot of time, he looked at his card then blinked.

Name: Yaman Kurt

Title: Kaleidoscope Magician In Training

Race: Human

Class: Adventurer

LF: 110

SF: 315

Strength: 7

Speed: 4

Vitality: 11

Endurance: 18

Intelligence: 9

Spirit: 315

Charisma: 4

Luck: 7

He just went up two points of Luck and one of Charisma just by approaching and tripping over his own feet to introduce himself to her, and four points of Spirit as well… He knew he should be happy with that but he felt insulted.

He sighed and looked around, then reclosed his eyes while focusing on Luna, this time of talking her about the essentials.

He looked out and frowned, it was nearing night time. He got up and stretched before making his way towards the blacksmith.

The blacksmith was, wonder of all wonders, he was a buff black man with a lovely slightly rebellious daughter! The duo was fighting loudly, and then the lovely and young daughter was sent to her room upstairs.

Yaman looked through the possible swords he could use in the future, but his mind always went to one type in particular, a Scimitar, thus he stared at those kinds before taking one in his hands and grunting at the weight. He sighed, it seems he just wasn't ready for a sword at the moment, he needed a shorter sword that wouldn't tire him quickly.

He went towards the shorter swords, the daggers, the knifes, and other stabby bits.

Eventually, he took a machete, it would come in handy should he find the need to split open a skull, it was one of the best weapons for that kind of job after all.

He then made his way to the inn and for three silvers coins, getting eight bronze coins back, he had a room for the night, he slept fitfully that night before going to the tailor to get some much-needed clothes.

He thought about getting armor but he had shitty stamina last he checked and he had more pressing matters right now, like increasing his charisma stat, which increases through talking, and for people to want to talk to him he needed some clothes that would blend in with the people around him. Normally that meant bright somewhat camouflage-able clothes, usually noting one's specialty.

Since he had jet black hair and amber eyes, and a tan skin(he didn't know whether to flip the bird for regressing his age and changing his looks to more handsome or to thank the gods for it), his clothing themes were kinda like a leopard or lion, burnt orange, brown, dark yellow and the like. His shoes were focused on comfort though, his poor feet weren't made for adventuring, though, to be honest, no human of Earth's was.

But this was a fantasy world so he focused on comfort for when he had to push past those limits. The color of his shoes and socks were black. And it was the most costly thing he bought. Other than the backpack of holding, of course, he put everything he owned inside it and then grabbed the undead quest. It was still early morning, so only a few of the undead would be there and he could both train his Kaleidoscope and kill them as they rose rather than taking them all at once…

I blinked: "Did you just spit on me?" The shock I felt was clear in my voice, I had grabbed the mission from the board and had set on my way to the graveyard when one of the guild members spit on me, the spit was on my brand new clothes, bought less than half an hour ago.

"Yeah, I did, what are you going to do about it, newbie?" Sneered the bastard, he was alone, but looking around showed that the whole guild was watching us. If I remember right yesterday he was one of those that accidentally tripped him. It all made sense now.

I had been in fights before, I knew what this was about, or at least I think I do. My mind went to what happened on the show and it made a connection. This was a test since I was so passive yesterday and did not speak to anyone they were curious about what kind of person I was, what kind of warrior I was, and what better way to do that than to let the big bad bully thrash him around in front of everyone?

I knew the guy was stronger than me, besides the muscles, the bracelets on his arms had scratch marks showing that he had used those to block before. My mind went into overdrive as I pushed deep into the kaleidoscope before I was abruptly pushed out of it with the force of an impact on my face, a slap.

I looked at the guy in the eyes, he was sneering harder now, but I had my answer, my hands went behind my back and grabbed the machete and I pulled it out of its sheath with my right hand and as fast as I could I let go of the sheath in my left hand and punched, the guy's hand moved to block it with his bracelets but the punch turned into a grab and using the hand gripping the bracelet I pulled while stabbing the hatchet with my right. The man was good, and managed to grab my right forearm, and had an uncomfortably tight grip.

Thankfully I had my answer to that: "Distort."

By twisting the space the knife rested I could distance the place I wanted to slash at, thus I turned the machete left before slashing to the right, the man's abdomen had a thin slash on it. He grunted in surprise.

We stayed like that, eyes on each other, glaring then he let go. His hand moving to rest on his wound: "You aren't half bad."

I wanted to roll my eyes at that but held it in: "You are the one bleeding." With that I sheathed my machete and left, ignoring the restarting of the usual rowdiness of the adventurer's guild and the hurt from the bruising of my forearm.

I looked at my card again.

Name: Yaman Kurt

Title: Kaleidoscope Magician In Training

Race: Human

Class: Adventurer

LF: 110

SF: 334/140

Strength: 7

Speed: 4

Vitality: 11

Endurance: 19

Intelligence: 10

Spirit: 334

Charisma: 5

Luck: 7

I grimaced, the Distort spell and the dive into Kaleidoscope to gain it was costly. Sighing I continued onwards to the graveyard, ignoring the black bruise on my forearm.

Dirty work or not, if I took a mission I would complete it.

Author's Giant Nuts!

So… Another fic, this time of KonoSuba.

I just loved the series and wrote a few stories about it, this is the only one I will be posting, the others are from long ago and not focused on improvement, rather Aqua just gave the OC an OP skill and then let him go, it was a lonely story where the OC was hailed as a monster and stayed alone…

In this fic Yaman is shaping up to be a badass, but hopefully, I will get a few companions for him. Any OC you guys have is welcome, but as this is a KonoSuba fic a female, or loli, or non-human, or even a combination of all of them would be more welcome than males. Though an elderly OC who constantly moans about his hip bones and smacks the MC over the head with his staff whenever he tries to act cool is a funny idea…