Mad House

The mad man lead me to his strange house. I don't even know him. Why do I trust him? I looked around his peculiar house. It had hats in every possible space and thread filling the gaps between the hats. It smelled like tea and honey and was fairly cool in here. "Alice?" Hatter gently asked. I turned around to see him right behind me. I tried to step back but my legs were suddenly stiff. "Yes?" I managed to reply. "Alice, I know you just met me, but I've known you for your entire life. I have protected you when you needed me most, and have stopped you when you didn't know what you are doing." I lifted my eyebrow. Is he my guardian angel stalker? That's the only sense I could make of what he just said. He continued "Through all the years I have met you, I have loved you every time, yet I never found myself to be able to ask you this."

I held my breath. Was he going to ask me out? His mismatch eyes twinkled and his was nervously wringing his hands. "Alice..." he said his voice quiet and calming. "Will you... take me with you?" I lifted my eyebrow yet again. Was I going somewhere? "What do you mean?" I asked, trying my best to make sense of him. "Well you see, You can travel to two different worlds mine and yours. I want to go to yours so we..." He stopped in mid sentence. "So we...?" I said, trying to get him to finish his sentence. "So we can be together forever Alice. So I don't have to watch you die again and again. Alice, I want you to be my life." I could feel my chest swell. Why? He was a strange man that made little sense and claimed to know me. Why was I happy?

"Alice?" He said, bringing me back to reality. Or, what ever this is. "I'll try." I whisper. "Great! Now that we're a couple, we can do what I've always wanted to do." Wait when did I say we were dating? The Mad Hatter grabbed my hand and dragged me outside. "EVERYONE!" He yelled undoubtedly to get their attention. The mouse and hare stopped playing around. Three new guests appeared. A purple cat with a wide smile, and two round twins. When did they get here? "Oh Cheshire cat, Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dee, so glad you could make it!" The Hatter exclaimed. "Well, I was always here." The cat said in a smooth voice. This must be Cheshire Cat. "So, you called?" He continued, lying belly up on a branch. "Yes. You remember Alice right?" The Mad Hatter asked, pushing me in front of him. "Of course we do!" One of the Tweedles said. "We told her a story before!" The other said. "No, we told her two stories!" The first Tweedle disagreed. The two started to quarrel, but the Dormouse sharply cleared her throat. The two stopped their fighting and the Hatter continued "Alice and I are now a couple."

The March Hare jumped up yelling "The bird and the bees! The bees and the birds!" Then laughed like a lunatic. (A cute lunatic) The dormouse clapped her hands and cheered. The Cheshire Cat and said "That's great. Good job Hatter. We all know how much you've been wanting to do this." The Tweedle twin on the left cheerfully stated "I knew that you guys would make a great couple." The other nodded in agreement.

"So what adventure will Alice go on this time?" The Cheshire asked, looking at me. "Wait, What?" I asked completely lost. Was I supposed to go on an adventure? The Mad Hatter sensed my confusion and put his hands on my shoulders "Alice still doesn't know. For now we can have tea." The March Hare jumped up and jumped to the end of the table. He held a teapot that shot tea everywhere without the Hare knowing. When he got to us, he held out the pot and offered us tea. "Why thank you my good friend. Would you tell us that great story, Dormouse, about the three girls?" The Dormouse looked up from her scone as the March Hare poured us tea. "Well, I don't like to tell that story since Alice kept interrupting it. I'll tell another." I never interrupted her, and she never told me a story! She closed her eyes to think of a story, then opened them, ready to tell her story.

"There once was a house. In this house lived a man, a woman, and their child. The mother loved the child, the child loved the father, the father loved the mother, but never the other way around." I stopped her with a question "If the mother didn't love the father, then how could they have a child?" The Tweedles laughed and said "She doesn't know about the Oniestangen!" The Hatter pet my head and said to the annoyed Dormouse "Please continue." The Dormouse inhaled and continued "One day the father wanted to buy 2 million feet of land with the width of one inch." What?! Why?! One inch in width? What's he gonna do, sue anyone that steps on it?! "The child supported her father, and the mother supported her child. 'Having a spaghetti farm would be good' the child said. 'We could be rich'. The only one that did not like that was the house. It knew that spaghetti was only sold by nickers." If I hear one more funny word... "The house warned them that if they did buy the farm, it would leave. They ignored their house and bought it anyways, so the house walked away. The end."

Everyone clapped. That's it?! What's the point of that story?! I sighed and looked down. Would I ever understand this place? The Hatter turned me around to look me in the face "Let's go for a walk." He gently said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Into the forest."