Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. BBC and Shine does.
Author's Note: This is the first time I've written a drabble, I hope you like it. :)
"Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say," –Mitch Albom
The Things We Don't Say
There are times when Merlin wishes he could tell his friends everything- Arthur more than anyone. Times when he felt as though the words were tearing his throat apart inside him, desperate to escape the cage he had so carefully locked them away deep within.
There were times when all was calm and Merlin's eyes would meet Arthur's. He would see those bright blue eyes that twinkle with joy, so full of trust, as Arthur gave him a relaxed smile. Merlin's throat would clam shut, trapping the words inside him like a dam holding back a torrent of water.
Those words would writhe and coil around the tip of his tongue. All it would take would be one simple sentence… and there were so many different ways he could blurt it out:
"Arthur, I have magic."
"I'm a warlock."
"The druids call me Emrys."
"I am magic, Arthur."
"It is my destiny to protect you."
"They say that I am the most powerful warlock to ever and will ever walk the earth…"
"Please…listen to what I am about to say…Arthur…I have magic."
If Merlin let them leave his tongue, would Arthur finally know everything he has done?
Would Arthur accept him? Would Arthur trust him? Would they still be friends?
Then he sees those trusting eyes so full of warmth and he feels that strong bond of friendship between them.
Would he be angry? Would he hate him? Would they still be friends?
It is the fear of shattered trust and eyes of smouldering blue flames that chain his secrets inside him. Yet, it is the fear of unrepairable damage to the bond between them that causes Merlin to throw away the key that unlocks those chains.
Every night it haunts him…
"Arthur, I am magic. I was born with it and I use it for you. Only for you. Because you're my friend and I never want to lose you."
…The things he does not say.