Why One Should Never Play a Prank on Gandalf
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings. Tolkien does and New Line Cinema owns the movies.
Authors Note: Please don't take this fic seriously; there is only a little sadness in it. It is meant to be mostly humurous.
The moon cast its light through the forest that the members of the fellowship were traveling in, to get to Moria. They hope to make it there by tomorrow night. The fellowship made camp under a few trees just after the sun sank down into the sky for a good night's sleep.
Merry and Pippin were in the woods about 40 or 50 feet away from the camp looking for dried sticks and grass to help build a fire for the evening's meal, and to look for mushrooms, and berries for themselves. They are hobbits and hobbits loved to eat. Merry saw some dry grass and began to pull them up to put into the bag he was carrying. It already had some dried twigs in it. Pippin had his own bag and a basket and was about to help Merry pull the grass when he saw directly in front of him a bush filled with blue berries.
He immediately ran towards.
Merry looked up at him and asked curiously, "where are you going, Pippin?"
"Merry, I found some blue berries!" Pippin shouted excitedly.
"Not so loudly," Merry said while he dropped another fistful of grass into the bag. "Do you want the orcs to hear us?"
He immediately got up and ran over to where Pippin was and was amazed by the amount of blue berries that were growing on the bush. Pippin already plopped some in his basket.
"I have never seen so many berries in one bush for a very long time," Pippin said excitedly. "There must be enough for three days."
"Not for you," said Merry who was plucking a few blue berries off the stem. "I know you enough to know that you can finish it all in one day."
"That's because I'm hungry."
"You are always hungry," said Merry. I am amazed at how much you can eat in one day. He moved towards the left side of the bush and picked a few more blue berries.
"You eat almost as much as I do," said Pippin
"That's because I'm a hobbit, and true hobbits eat a lot," said Merry.
"Which means Frodo needs to eat more so he can be more of a hobbit," Pippin laughed," while he pulled another group of blue berries off a branch and dropped them into the basket.
"Actually, Frodo eats as much as any other hobbit eats, it's just that he never gains weight," said Merry who picked a few more berries and placed them in his basket.
"He has not been eating much lately," Pippin said with a worried look in his eyes and a frown in his face.
"That's because it is tormenting him," Merry said with sadness in his voice.
Merry did not mention the ring for the fear of being overheard by an enemy.
"I have a great idea," Pippin said while suddenly looking very bright."
"What is it?" Merry asked with curiosity in his voice.
"Why don't we play a trick on Gandalf?" Pippin suggested while his eyes became brighter.
"That is a great idea," Merry agreed while he smiled broadly.
With evil looks in their faces Merry and Pippin began to scheme.
Meanwhile back at the camp the other members of the fellowship settled down. Legolas and Gimli were glaring at each other from the opposite sides of the group because they refused to sit near each other, Gandalf and Aragorn were deep in conversation about Moria, and Sam was sitting next to Frodo and fussing over him. He looked worriedly at him when he noticed Frodo fingering the ring on his chain.
"Are you alright Frodo?" he asked.
Frodo nodded slightly. He barely acknowledged him so intense was his studying the ring that was now in his hand. For a minute there he almost reminded Sam of Gollum which increased his worries even more.
"I don't think you are alright," said Sam. "The ring seems to be troubling you, and you look cold." Sam noticed that Frodo was shaking. Sam grabbed a nearby blanket and placed it on Frodo, but Frodo pushed it off again.
"I was lost in Moria with several other rangers," Aragorn said. "It was so dark that we could not even see our hands in front of our faces."
"Didn't you bring torches?" Gandalf asked curiously.
"We did, and halbarad was holding it, but he dropped it," said Aragorn.
"We lit another one, but as soon as it was lit, we saw right there in front of us some orcs who were snarling at us. It looked like they were getting ready to attack us. So we took out our weapons and..."
"I wish Merry and Pippin would hurry up," Sam said while he placed the blanket on Frodo for the fourth time. "I can't get the fire started until they do."
Frodo with an annoyed look on his face, pushed it off him again and said, "for the last time stop putting that blanket on me, Sam."
A few seconds later Boromir returned carrying a few dead rabbits that he had slain.
"We'll have enough for a two days," he said to the others while he dropped the rabbits on the ground.
"Shouldn't Merry and Pippin be back by now?" Boromir said while when he noticed that they weren't there.
"Let's give them ten more minutes, if they are not back by then, one of us should go look for them," said Aragorn.
"I will do it," said Legolas who took a break from glaring at Gimli.
Legolas entered the woods towards the right carrying his bow and arrows in case he came across any orcs or wargs. He hoped that they did not encounter any, for they were not skilled fighters, and he hope that he would not have to fight any, but because Merry and Pippin was taking a little long in returning to the camp the possibility of them being attacked by orcs crossed his mind. Fearing for their safety he began to trot with his foot hardly touching the ground. He wanted to call their names but knew it would attract some orcs and wargs. An elf hating tree stuck one of its branches out and made Legolas trip, and when he was flat on the forest floor the tree was laughing at him which sounded like leaves rustling faintly. He picked himself up and brushed the dirt and the loose grass off and began to trot again when he was tripped by another elf hating tree who was laughing even harder than the other one did. He picked himself up and brushed himself off again. Before he began to trot again, he saw Merry and Pippin come out from between a tangle of wood and vines carrying a bag of twigs, sticks, and grass and a basket full of berries. Legolas who was delighted to see them began to trot towards them, but he only took a few steps when another elf hating tree pushed him so he stumbled and almost lost his balance. Merry and Pippin seeing the elf stumble began to laugh.
"Ha, ha, very funny," he said with annoyance in his voice.
"We ha can't ha he ha lp it ha, ha," said Merry. "You look so funny."
"Come on he said to them, the others are waiting for you."
They followed Legolas back to camp.
"What took you so long Gandalf asked them?"
Pippin lifted up the basket of berries and said to Gandalf, "we were picking blue berries."
"We found a large bush filled with so many blue berries."
They both left out the fact that they were planning to prank Gandalf.
"I see," said Gandalf who was not entirely convinced.
Aragorn and Sam also looked at them suspiciously, because both of them knew that the two played pranks on others before.
"Here are the sticks and grass," Merry said to Sam when he handed the bag to him.
"Thank you," Sam said humbly.
Sam emptied the bag of dried grass on the wood pile and then rubbed two of the sticks together until they ignited. He dropped them on the dry wood which caught fire quickly because of the dry grass. He dropped the prepared rabbits into the pot of stew, placed the pot on the fire, and began to stir it.
Legolas sat on the other side of the camp from Gimli and they began to glare and snarl at each other again. The only reason they were not insulting each other for the tenth time that day was because the other members of the fellowship were tired of it.
An Hour later after Sam served everybody their bowl of stew, Pippin and Merry executed their plan.
Pippin walked over to where Gandalf was sitting and asked, "do you mind if I keep you company for a while, Gandalf?"
"Not at all," said Gandalf.
Pippin sat down next to Gandalf and began to tell him a very confusing tale about his family.
"My father's cousin's daughter Lilala Took was going to marry Dody Boffin who is my Aunt Esmeralda's second cousin, third cousin's sister's son. My mother and sisters and others were getting the place ready for the wedding. It was going to be a grand celebration. Pearl, Pimpernel, and Pearl's cousin Lilalala Took and friends Daffodil and Tulip Bolger were busy preparing cakes for the wedding while Dodi Proudfoot, her fiancé and some other hobbit men rode to the town square to buy some more items on the list that my mother gave them.
"Wait a minute," Gandalf said scratching his head in confusion. "I thought you said Lilala was going to marry Dody Boffin."
"They are?" Pippin said matter of fact.
"But you also said that she was going to marry Dodi Boffin."
"That is Lilalala Took's fiancé. Lilala was going to marry Dody Boffin."
Gandalf stared at Pippin while he continued his conversation.
"Dodi Proudfoot was sitting on the couch inside the parlor with his friends because the women did not want them in the kitchen. They decide to play a joke on the girls.
"Wait a minute, Gandalf interrupted again. "You just told me that Dodi Proudfoot was at the town square buying items.
"That was Dodi Proudfoot, son of Pearl and Fredi Proudfoot. This is Dodi Proudfoot son of Dodo and Rose Proudfoot."
Unknown to Gandalf, but known to Pippin, Merry snuck behind the tree looking for an opportunity to pour mixer of red pepper and cyan into Gandalf's stew, but he could not do that because Gandalf was holding his bowl.
Pippin continued to talk to Gandalf about Lilala and Dody's wedding celebration in a way that confused Gandalf more and more as the story progressed. Pippin had finished eating his stew. Though how he finished his stew while he never took a breath from talking amazed Gandalf.
At that moment, Boromir decided to join them.
"That is a wonderful story, isn't it, Mithrandir," Boromir said to Gandalf.
"How can you understand it?" Gandalf asked while placing his bowl down and staring wonderingly at Boromir.
About time, Merry thought while he quickly poured a lot of red pepper and cyan mixture into Gandalf's bowl and mixed it in the stew. Then he went and sat down on the other side. Pippin walked over and joined Merry leaving Boromir telling Gandalf even a more confusing story about his family and some events.
"I can't wait till I see Gandalf's reaction when he tastes his stew," Pippin said.
"I can't either, but we have to wait till Boromir stops talking to him," said Merry.
"I'm glad that he finally put his bowl of stew down," said Pippin. "I thought he was never going to do that."
"I wonder how he can keep his stew hot for so long," said Merry. "I almost burned myself while I was stirring it."
Gandalf dipped his spoon into the still hot stew (though how it still remained hot I do not know.) and placed it into his mouth. As soon as he tasted the stew his eyes went wide and he began to run around yelling, "Aaaah, my mouth is on fire, MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE! Water, WATER!" All the members of the fellowship were laughing. Gandalf saw a large bucket full of water and ran towards it and ducked his head into the bucket (dropping his hat in the process) and drank a large amount of water. A few seconds later he lifted his head up. Water was falling down his hair and scowling face making his clothes wet. At that moment Merry pulled the rope and a pail full of mud that Merry and Pippin rigged on one of the tree branches fell on top of Gandalf which made everybody laugh even harder..
"This (ha ha) the f first t (ha ha)ime I h h(ha) ad (ha) ever seen a (ha ha ha) mu (ha)d mmon (ha)ster (ha ha ha)," Gimli laughed. Gandalf glared at him.
"I I (ha ha) a (ha ha ha) agree," Boromir laughed.
Gandalf glared at him also and at the rest of the fellowship because they were laughing at him.
"C can't help (ha ha) it, you look so (ha) so (ha ha) f funny (ha ha ha) said Aragorn.
Gandalf whose eye brows were bristling and who was frowning said to everyone, "I'm going to find out who played this trick on me."
He walked away from the group and sat down underneath the tree and began to smoke his pipe.
Pippin sat next to Merry and began to whisper to him, "that was a (ha ha) great trick we played (ha ha ha) on, (ha ha) on Gandalf."
"It certainly w was (ha ha ha ha). I'm glad you were able to distract G-g (ha ha) andalf long enough for me to add (ha ha ha) the red hot pep (ha ha ha) per and cyan mixture to his stew. I wonder how he (ha ha) kept his bowl of stew hot for so long. I thought he'd never put it down."
"I'm also glad you were (ha ha ha) able to (ha ha ha) to p-pull the rope to make the mud f-fall (ha ha ha) from the t-tree (ha ha ha) on top of him. It made him look even funnier than putting his (ha ha) head and drinking it like a horse," said Pippin.
"You were the one that put (ha ha ha) okacedthe bucket filled with m-mud (ha ha ha) on the branch, Pippin."
"With you're, you'r (ha ha) help."
Gandalf did not hear the two hobbits whispering to each other, but Legolas did because of his elvish hearing.
He walked over to where Gandalf was sitting and said to him, "I know who played the prank on you."
The next morning everyone was packing their gear to resume traveling again. They hope to make it to Moria by the evening. Sam of course was busy packing Frodo's things away much to the protest of Frodo. In ten minutes everything was packed and ready and the members of the fellowship stood up ready to begin traveling again.
"Well we got everything ready," Gandalf said to Aragorn. "It is time for us to go."
"I'll call Merry and Pippin," said Aragorn.
"Merry! Pippin! We're leaving now!"
Everyone looked behind them while Merry the porcupine and pippin the squirrel scampered towards the rest of the fellowship. Then they began to travel again disappearing through a group of trees and bushes.
Authors Note: It is not one of my better written stories. Maybe I will improve it someday.