PLEASE READ: Hey everyone! To all of my Down in the Dumps readers, this is NOT the story that I was talking about when I said that I will be uploading a new one. I wanted to write this one-shot that I thought of because I want to show everyone what I had to go through in my life before I joined Fanfiction. Yes, this is a TRUE STORY. All of which you're about to read has happened in real life and is absolutely TRUE. I really hope that a lot of people read this because this is sending a message to all of you on how to go through very haunting and tough times in your life and how to deal with anxiety. But listen everyone, don't do the dumb decisions that I've done. You'll see what I've done in this story. So I hope you guys enjoy this and thank you for using your time to read this.
WARNING: THIS ONE-SHOT CONTAINS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.
I want you to think about this while you're reading this one-shot: THIS COULD BE YOU.
EDIT: I'm starting to regret posting this story; people can be so dumb these days...I've already gotten two PMs saying that I either broke the rules or that there's an issue with this story. I mean, seriously. NO ONE CARES! IT'S JUST A &%$#ING STORY! GET OVER IT!
As the car started driving down the road, six-year-old Holly Lofton leaned back into her car with exhaustion as she sighed heavily. "Daddy, I don't want to go to school today..." she whined, as she was reading a Sleeping Beauty book; the same book that she always reads (more like looking at the pictures) before she goes to Kindergarden.
"I know you don't, but you have to," Dad responded, without looking at her.
"But why?" Holly groaned.
"Cause you do," Dad murmured. Holly always had to ride with her dad, Dan, to school because her mother, Traci, had to take Holly's little sister, Brooke, to VPK.
Inside Holly's head, her emotions, all females, stared at the console tiredly.
"Why do we have to go to school so early?!" Holly's Anger barked. "There's such thing as a peaceful sleep you know!"
"Yeah, like you make anything peaceful at all," Holly's Disgust remarked.
Anger glared at the green emotion.
Unlike Riley Andersen's emotions, Holly's emotions are all girls and they have long wavy brownish hair, just like Holly does. Joy was wearing a white dress with flowers on it and she always loved to twirl around in it. Just like Riley's Joy, Holly's Joy doesn't wear any shoes and she always has a big smile on her face.
Sadness, on the other hand, was wearing a grey sweater that covered her neck and had comfortable black leggings. She doesn't wear any glasses, like Riley's Sadness does, but her hair was in a messy bun and her eyes always looked moody and droopy.
Anger was wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of jeggings. Anger's clothes were the most common out of everybody's. She didn't care much about fashion; that was Disgust's job.
And speaking of Disgust, she was wearing a beautiful high-waist dress, which was brown at the top and white on the bottom. Her hair was the most organized out of everybody's and she was wearing all sorts of makeup. Unlike Riley's Disgust, Holly's Disgust's eyelashes are pretty short so you tell that she wears mascara every day.
Then there was Fear, the lead emotion. She was wearing a soft, magenta-colored trench coat with jeans and sneakers. Fear was the perfect emotion to be lead because Holly has always been paranoid about her safety and is always careful and cautious around others. Disgust and Anger hated Fear as the lead, because she was making Holly look like a "coward", but Fear had Joy and Sadness by her side, so it was a majority of three to two.
As Holly entered her elementary school, the emotions pleasingly looked at the screen, happy that it's gonna be a new day with taking care of their girl.
When Holly was eight years old, that was when things started getting out of hand. It had to do with her parents. Mom had to go to North Carolina so she can watch her niece graduate from high school and Dad had to stay to watch over Holly and Brooke. Dad was not pleased with that at all.
"Do you know how hard it is to take care of two kids by myself?!" Dad yelled at Mom.
"Give me a break!" Mom rolled her eyes. "It's only for one day and it's only two kids! At least we didn't produce four kids, you know!"
"That's not the point," Dad argued. "What I'm saying is that I can't take care of my kids without your help!"
"Oh my god, you're hopeless!" Mom screamed as she stomped to her room.
Dad looked at Holly, who was sitting at the table rocking herself back and forth. He walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm sorry Hockster," he said (Hockster was Holly's nickname that they called her). "I love you."
Holly didn't say anything and looked away.
Dad sighed. "I can make dinner for you. What do you want?"
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Holly mumbled.
Dad nodded and made what Holly asked for. He made it pretty quick though because it felt like 10 seconds later that he came back with the sandwich Holly wanted.
Holly was now ten years old and this was when her life has changed...in a very bad way. Her mom wanted to talk to Holly and Brooke (who was now seven years old) in private and it looked like she had a 12 hour sob fest. The siblings sat down on Mom's bed, as Mom looked down and sat across from them. The look on Mom's face looked like the bad news train was pulling in.
"It's about your dad..." she said quietly. "He's not gonna be living with us anymore. Things haven't been working out with us..."
"You mean you guys are getting a divorce?" Holly asked as her eyes widened.
Mom slowly nodded. "Yes...we want a divorce."
Brooke started crying.
Holly just stared at Mom as she covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe you guys!" she cried. "Why did you do that?!"
"We thought that we needed to separate from each other so we can take a break," Mom sighed. "I'm so sorry girls. But just know that daddy and I love you with all of our hearts." Just then, both of the girls were crying (Holly was only doing little sobs; Brooke was bawling) and Mom pulled them into a group hug. "It's okay girls...it's okay..." Mom said soothingly but the sound of her voice make her look like she was about to cry as well.
"Are you gonna cry mom?" Brooke asked as she cried into Mom's chest.
She shook her head but we already knew that she wanted to.
The divorce hasn't helped with Holly's family at all. They received even worse news than just a divorce. Mom got a call from the police saying that Dad got arrested. Holly and Brooke were very young, so she couldn't teach them about what he did already. She said to her daughters that Dad was making "bad choices", and Mom knew immediately that they were gonna ask what he was doing. She couldn't bare to tell them just yet; it had to wait. But what Mom knew was that Dad was caught drinking and driving and became a cocaine and heroin addict.
"Dad's making bad choices and is at jail?!" Fear panicked. "We can't have a dad that's a criminal! What if he becomes a murderer and tries to kill us?!"
"Are you that stupid?" Disgust insulted. "He's our dad. And plus, we got mom."
"Disgust, this is a big deal, you know," Joy pointed out. "We may never get to see our dad again."
"Oh, the misery...oh the loneliness..." Sadness whimpered as she pressed a button on the console, making Holly start crying in her room, thinking about her poor father.
"We can't live without our dad!" Fear said nervously. "What about Movie Night Cuddling Time? That was the most safest thing we do!"
"I guess we'll never cuddle again..." Sadness sighed in despair.
"This is terrible! This is the worst day ever! Holly's gonna be so lost with her life now!" Fear scampered to the console and pressed almost every button and switch on it. Holly started breathing heavily as she covered herself with her blankets.
When Holly got home from school, this was one of the most stupidest decisions she's ever done. She was on her phone, strolling through Instagram, as a person she didn't know at all send her a pretty gross message.
Holly, with confusion, stared at the message, wondering if she was imagining this or if this was really real. Holly blinked several times and realized that the message was still there. Was she being tricked or was the person being serious?
Holly replied: "Thx. Who ru?"
The person immediately replied: "I'm Darius, and you are?"
Holly has never met a single person named Darius.
"Guys, is replying to him the right thing to do?" Fear gulped.
"Well, he's not causing any harm to us, is he?" Joy shrugged.
"I guess you're right..." Fear looked down, as Joy pressed a button.
The person, or Darius, said: "Cute name"
"Okay," Disgust said with contempt. "Why is this guy acting like we're his girlfriend or something?"
"Then I guess we have an online boyfriend!" Joy said happily.
"You are so stupid," Disgust told her. "Do you realize that this person could be pretending that he's some 50 year old man?"
"What?!" Fear shrieked. "Disgust, you're right! What are we thinking?!" She started running around Headquarters.
"Guys, look, he has an Instagram account and they're pictures of the same person!" Joy said positively.
"But that doesn't mean it's real!" Fear shivered.
"Let's just see what happens guys," Joy said, looking at the screen.
The person said to Holly: "Do u mind if I call you 'babe'?"
"Because I like you"
Then it was Disgust that fainted.
"See guys?!" Joy said. "He likes us!"
"Do you not understand anything?!" Anger yelled. "That guy could try to force us to have, I dunno, sex with him!"
Disgust, who woke up from her passing out, pushed Joy away from the console. "I got this," she said as she pressed a button.
"Ru sure you're not tricking me?"
"Ur not trying to rape me?"
"Liar!" Anger shouted.
Disgust continued pressing buttons.
"I don't believe u"
"I can prove it to you babe"
"Then prove it"
It was a moment until Holly gasped at the most unexpected and the most disgusting picture Holly has ever seen.
It was his private part, completely uncensored.
"OH MY GOD EW EW EWWW THAT IS SO GROSS!" Disgust shrieked. "DO YOU SEE HOW REVOLTING THAT IS?! BLOCK HIM! BLOCK HIM NOW!"
Anger slammed his fist on the console as Holly went to his account profile and blocked and reported him. She immediately turned off her phone and started crying. Why did she have to do something that stupid?! She knew there was something up with this guy. She was lucky that she didn't reply to him after that, or else things would've went way too far.
"I'm sorry guys..." Joy said with guilt. "I guess you're right, we shouldn't've replied to him at all."
"You should be," Anger said loudly. "Now we're gonna be scarred for life."
Holly was now twelve years old and she, Brooke, and Mom decided to spend some time together to cheer themselves up because of what's been happening with Dad. They decided to see Big Hero 6 since it looked like a good movie. But of course, the trailers had to play first. One of the trailers had Pixar characters feeling different emotions, and then it was introducing...emotions? It looked like they were jumping on trampolines and they had different feelings. There was Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear. There was something about this movie that made Holly want to see it really badly.
"Oh my gosh, they're just like us!" Joy beamed. "We need to see this movie!"
"I never thought I'd say this, but I agree," Anger said, staring at the screen.
"Inside Out, eh?" Joy added, looking at the movie screen, as it was showing the title of the trailer. "Seems interesting."
Holly agreed to herself that she was gonna have to see it. When Big Hero 6 started playing, all she was thinking about was Inside Out.
Holly was about to go to the worst place in the world: middle school. She hated it ever since she started it because it was the reason why she officially has anxiety. It wasn't just because of how she'll do in it, but because of disgusting boys. As Holly entered the school, wearing an Aqua East shirt with jeans, there was a boy that continuously followed her and he kept on doing it every single day. He even does pretty inappropriate sign language, which includes putting two fingers up like a peace sign and moving his tongue up and down between said fingers. Holly cringed, and finally told him to stop stalking her. He actually did because she hasn't seen him in a while.
"Hey, Holly?" Mom said one day when Holly finished school on a weekend. "I want to talk to you and Brooke for a second."
"Yeah, hold on," the twelve-year-old responded. She happily went to her and looked around, seeing Inside Out merchandise everywhere. She had the Pop! toy figurines of all of the emotions, she also had a mini poster of the emotions and Disgust, who was her favorite character. That's right, like Holly expected, she now has an obsession with Inside Out. She was able to convince her mom to see a couple of days after it went into theaters. What was better was that she saw it twice and she couldn't wait for it to come out on DVD.
Holly put her school stuff up and went with Mom, who already had Brooke sitting down. Holly sat down next to her and Mom sighed as she told them, "We're gonna meet your dad for dinner tonight."
"Wait, what?" Holly said raising your eyebrows.
"Your dad has been trying to quit with his addiction and he's being doing good so far, even though he has a long way to go. Since he now goes to a church and he just got his drivers license again, we thought that we could see each other again."
"But Mom, I don't want to!" Brooke cried. "What if he acts awful to you?!"
"And there's no way that I'm talking to an alcoholic!" Holly added.
"Holly Lofton, you better watch your mouth this instant!" Mom shouted. "We already planned on doing it, so you both have to deal with it and I swear, I will ground you both if you aren't nice to him!"
The response she got was nothing but groaning.
As Holly, Mom, and Brooke entered Joe's Crab Shack, a seafood restaurant, Holly's heart was rapidly beating and she was shaking like an earthquake. Mom put her arm around her and told her that everything was gonna be okay. The next thing they knew, Dad was walking into the restaurant. He had a huge smile on his face.
"Hey girls!" he said happily.
"Hi dad," Holly and Brooke mumbled in unison.
"How are you two?" He pulled them into a hug.
"Good," they murmured.
Mom gave the girls the you-better-be-nice look.
"I missed you girls," Dad smiled.
"We missed you too," Brooke said.
"Yeah," Holly added, who was still shaking.
"Are you alright, Hockster?" Dad asked me with concern.
Holly didn't respond and kept looking down with nervousness.
"Oh my god, this is so scary!" Fear screamed, pressing buttons. "We can't have Holly be near that guy! What if he influences us to drink?!"
There was one button that Fear pressed that made things cross the line. Holly started screaming as she ran out of the restaurant, with most of the crowd watching.
Holly was laying on her bed, sobbing from what happened at dinner. Holly refused to eat her dinner and was starving for an hour. She didn't care; she didn't want to be even close to her dad. She hated him and she always will.
Someone opened the door; it was Mom. She had a ham and cheese sandwich with her. "You know you embarrassed me, right?"
"I don't care..." Holly muttered.
"You're grounded for the rest of the day," Mom said, handing her the sandwich. "Here's your dinner, eat it up."
But Holly didn't eat it up; she threw it away and cried herself to sleep.
Holly woke up on a Saturday morning, not even enjoying herself, even when Inside Out just came out on DVD and she now became thirteen years old; a teenager. Holly hated it; she didn't want to grow up anymore. She couldn't do this anymore if her anxiety was making her a coward. She didn't know what her life was gonna be like in the future, but according to her mom, she was gonna live a hard life if she kept it up with her cowardliness. But Holly didn't care anymore; she wanted this to end.
She was staring at a blind rope and nodded to herself. She stood up on the window sill and took a few deep breaths. She kept telling herself: I want this to end. I want this to end. I want this to end now. Holly put the blind rope around her neck and was now preparing to do it. But she couldn't. She was too sensitive to hurt herself. Holly gave up on what she has been longing to do for so long and started sobbing.
To make matters worse, Holly had to stay with her dad tonight because she had to go to his church. Holly refused to even say a word to him until dad asked her what's wrong. Holly didn't want to be grounded and there wasn't anything wrong with talking to him. He didn't look suspicious at all.
"I need help," Holly explained to Dad. "My anxiety hasn't been helping me and I feel like I want to end my life."
Dad looked down. "Holly..." he said. "Please...don't be like me. Don't do the things that I have did. Be strong and don't give up on yourself. Suicide isn't gonna solve anything in your life. It's basically Satan telling you that death is the best thing to do. Just know that God is with you and He will protect you. Just pray and take deep breaths."
Holly started crying as Dad pulled her into a hug. The hug felt so warm and so good. Holly started to calm down as her crying subsided. "I love you, Hockster," he said.
Holly looked at him and grinned. "I love you too," she said.
Ah, present day and Holly is now fifteen years old. She has received her driver's permit and will be learning how to drive very soon. Holly's obsession with Inside Out has grew and grew as she now writes Inside Out Fanfictions and met Joy and Sadness at Epcot four times so far. Holly's Dad has been doing amazing and he is now a great person that is loved by his kids and has a perfect relationship with his family, even if he doesn't live with them anymore. Brooke and Mom have heard about Holly's problems and have been taking her to the doctor. Holly's anxiety is still taking over (not as much as it used to), but the main reason was school. All she had to do was be thankful about who she has in her life: her Fanfiction friends, her friends in real life, her family, and most important of all, her emotions. Do you know what they have in common?
It's that they're all about taking care of you.
Well, there you go. This has really happened to me. You see? This is the reason why I have anxiety, but don't worry, what you just read has been worse than it is today and thanks to my dad, it's gone. I may still feel very paranoid about my life, but all I know is that there are people that care about me. I really hope you guys liked this story because this moment in my life has been the hardest moment ever. But thank you guys, again, for using your time to read this story and reviews would be very appreciated! Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed this. :)