Author's Note: So this is a little one shot Seblaine in between when Blaine asks the Warbler's help to propose and the actual proposal. Sebastian was always my favorite character and hated that he was just sort of dropped. I think he and Blaine would have been great together.
How Could He?
"Bas, are you not coming to celebrate?" Trent asked not bothering to hide his concern. Blaine, the McKinley students, and the most of the other Warblers had left to get food.
Sebastian just stared out the window of the common room that was used for Warbler practice. Today it had been used to ask a favor. A favor asked by someone he could never refuse. How Could he?
"Are you alright?" Jeff asked.
"Don't do this to yourself. You always thought you were running a race, when really there was never any hope for the pair of you. I'm just trying to honest. You were hardly friends before the slushy thing. You really think he would give up Hummel for anyone, let alone you?" Nick added.
Trent smacked Nick in the stomach and grunted out a 'Not very helpful.'
"We just don't want you to beat yourself up over this. We all sort of knew how this would end." Trent added. Everyone could hear how sorry he was for having to say it.
Sebastian's fists clenched and his jaw clicked, but his voice came out even, "Look I'm fine. Really you guys go have fun."
"Are you sure?" Jeff asked. Trent seemed resolved to stay with their former leader, but Sebastian shoed them away with a quick snide remark and soft smile. All three noticed it didn't touch his eyes.
Once the trio had dispersed the common room felt cold—empty. How Could He?
The happy spring time scene outside was too much for Sebastian. He finally turned away from the big bay window. How Could He?
The Former Captain His throat was tight. He couldn't breathe, he felt ill, dizzy.
The Warbler braced himself with both hands on one of the end tables in the room.
How could he? How could he? How could he? His grip on the common room end table tightened, as he breathed in and out shallow and rough. How could he?
Sebastian never cared about anybody. Never had a boyfriend. Never fell in love. Never wanted to. Not until…How Could he?
Sebastian sniffed, while he bit he lower lip. He fought, desperately, against the tears that began to pool in his eyes How Could he? He gripped the edge of the table tighter, before his right hand let go to punch it as hard as he could. The antique wood piece of furniture splintered only a tad, not enough to satisfy. His knuckles stung. Lacrosse practice would be difficult tomorrow. The disgraced Warbler didn't care. How could he?
Sebastian's knees buckled under the grief as he fell to the floor. How could he? His dastardly tears finally spilled over. The wooden table he'd just accosted was cool on his warm forehead. Sebastian cried. His hands gripped at his normally perfectly quaffed brown locks. How could he?
How could Blaine ask Kurt to marry him?
Sebastian wiped the falling snot with the back of his hand. How could he ask Sebastian to help him ask Kurt to marry him? Didn't he know? Couldn't Mr. Sing like a dream see…
The Warbler's chest hurt. He sobbed. He felt like his heart was shattering with each heavy beat. Sebastian shook his head. He had no idea how he was going to make it through the proposal. Every time he thought about Blaine telling Kurt how much he loved him and sliding a gold band on Kurt's overly moisturized, manicured finger, Sebastian wanted hurl. Sebastian cried harder thinking about the ring and what words Blaine Warbler would spew out to Lady McGay Face. Sebastian wanted to die at the thought.
Words like: He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Like he couldn't live without him. Words like…
"I love you."
Sebastian's watery eyes widened, as he whipped around. The snarky cruel words died on his tongue as he saw who had barged in on his pity party. Not that he was surprised he'd know Blaine's voice anywhere, but to hear those three words come out of Blaine's mouth aimed towards him… Sebastian had to look around to check to see if anyone else was around.
They were alone. Finally, Sebastian took in the sight that was Blaine. He was a vision of perfection. Onyx wild hair, gelled stiffly down. Bow tie straight as ever. Rosie full lips curved in a small earnest smile. Eyes bright- full of compassion, and love. Was that sadness?
Sebastian sniffed again, finally standing. He wiped his eyes, attempting to rid them of any evidence he'd been crying. He was sure he looked like hell and a half. And swallowed the hard lump in his throat.
He put on a fake smile, "Hey killer, what are you do.."
"I love you." Blaine cut him off taking a couple of steps forward.
The Warbler couldn't hold on to the mask that he was so used to wearing in front of everyone: his parents, hi teachers, the warblers. Everyone but Blaine.
His face contorted as more tears sparkled in his green eyes. Blaine frowned.
"Then how could you?" Sebastian knew he sounded so pathetic asking but he couldn't help it. He broke down into tears. Blaine finally approached him. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's shaking body. Blaine held Sebastian. The warbler sank to the cold marble floor of the common room, as he lost himself in grief once more. All the while Blaine's embrace was all encompassing. It was new they'd never held one another, but right. As if Blaine was always meant to hold Sebastian in his arms.
"I love you." Blaine whispered in Sebastian's now ruffled locks. His breath tingling the Warbler's ear. His voice quivered and Sebastian felt dampness on his head. He looked up to see Blaine was crying too. His heart broke even more at the sight. The last thing Sebastian ever wanted was to see his Blaine cry. That fact that it was because of him made it worst.
Sebastian's swollen right hand came up to wipe a tear from Blaine's perfect eyes.
Blaine smiled bitterly, "You're too good to me."
Sebastian had to laugh at that, "I nearly blinded you, killer."
"Nearly." Blaine emphasized. He smiled through his tears, although they seemed to be calming. "But not quite. For an athlete your aim is pretty terrible."
Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I wasn't aiming for you. You're just the genius who got in the way…"
"Of you ruining Kurt's cloths?" Blaine interrupted again, with a soft voice. He knew…? "Yeah." Blaine answered, as if reading Sebastian's mind. "I always knew that you had been aiming for Kurt's cloths. I may not have known the rock salt was in … it's okay." He added before Sebastian could apologize once more. "But I always knew you never meant to hurt anyone."
Sebastian rested his head against Blaine's chest as he thought things over. His eye brows scrunched together as he thought things over. Id that were the case, something confused him. Finally he looked up at Blaine, "If you knew that it was all about it, why did it take you so long to forgive me for your eye."
Blaine closed his eyes before he inhaled, and exhaled loudly with his whole chest. "It was not about me almost going blind. It had never really been about some stupid slushy or a prank gone wrong." He opened his eyes, full of melancholy, and looked desperately at the former Warbler captain, "It was about the fact that you left. I was hurt and you ran. I understand you were scared, but we were friends. I was already confused about how I was feeling about you, and then you just…" Blaine paused as he tried not to cry again.
Sebastian pet Blaine's gelled down mane, looking so earnestly at Blaine, "I'm sorry. If I could take it all back…"
"You can't… and that's okay. But at the time I was hurt, and the person I was in love with ran away."
"You mean even back then?" Sebastian could kill his past self. If he'd known… maybe he could have changed things.
"Of course." Blaine answered smiling fondly at the boy still in his arms. "I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you in this room almost two years ago. I just never wanted to admit it."
"Then how could you?" Sebastian asked, tears beginning to slowly fall from his eyes once more.
"I love you so much Sebastian, But Kurt is the love of my life. I don't think I can live without him."
Sebastian could hurl in that very moment. His stomach dropped to the floor, his heavy chest doubled in weight and hollowed out. Because hearing that… he'd rather know Blaine never loved him than being second string in his heart. Sebastian wanted to tell Blaine how much he loved him, how happy they could be together, how he'd never make him feel small the way Lady Hummel seemed to be a professional at. Most of all He wanted to tell Blaine that Kurt may be the love of his life, but he and Blaine were soulmates.
But he didn't. Because Blaine made this decision, and Sebastian would never try to force Blaine into or out of something. Sebastian tightened his grip on Blaine's sweater. Blaine was free to make his own decisions, no matter how much those decisions hurt Sebastian.
So instead of begging, instead of saying all the beautiful wonderful things he wanted to say, instead of making any promises all he said was…
"Well, if you can't live without him, then what are you doing here?" He tried his best to not sound as bitter as he felt.
Blaine frowned, as he bit his lower lip. His left hand combed through and locked into Sebastian's thick hair. They looked deep into one another's eyes.
"I had to tell you. It's cruel, I know. But I had to tell you, I loved you, or I would have spent my entire life regretting it."
"It's so pathetic. I told Kurt I would have you. Then I thought, because of the slushy, that I had lost my chance. When it turns out you felt the same way along. I wasn't crazy, or sleazy, or delusional, as Nick might say. You loved me, Blaine." Sebastian sniffed, his brow furrowed together, "You love me. You know what's so pathetic about all of this though?" He asked, angry at the entire situation, almost angry at Blaine, almost. "Is that you fell in love with me, I showed you my best and worst and you loved me for me, but no matter what. No matter how he treated you, I couldn't steal you away, even though you love me too." Sebastian gave a humorless laugh before wiping his red tired face, "It's pathetic."
"You know what's pathetic?" Blaine asked, "Telling the man you're in love with, that you're in love with him, only to make yourself feel better."
"You're right, you are pathetic, Killer." Sebastian joked, as Blaine wiped a stray tear from Sebastian's cheek. Before the pair cracked up at the terribleness of it all.
Once the duo had finally stopped their outburst of laughter, they smiled fondly, lovingly, at one another in the briefest moment of contentment.
"So… this is it, isn't it?" He didn't think they could be friends after such a confession. He was sure of it. He was even more sure Kurt would never want them to be friends. And Kurt was going to be Blaine's husband. His chest felt heavy once more. Blaine nodded as his eyes watered again. "I'll still help, tomorrow."
Blaine smiled, and cupped Sebastian's checks in his hands, their foreheads pressed against each other's. "Thank you."
Sebastian relished in the closeness of Blaine's wonderful voice.
"But if you expect me to shake his hand, think again. I'll probably never get the tanner off." Blaine chuckled again, letting go of Sebastian's face. Before Blaine could back away, Sebastian cupped his face in his hands, and pressed their lips together. Because he had to know what kissing Blaine Anderson Warbler was like.
They closed their eyes and fell fully into the kiss.
Their first –only- kiss, was tender, sweet, spoke volumes of their sad pathetic love that wasn't enough, but was also everything. Blaine's lips were smooth, and sweet, against his slightly chapped lips. They nipped, licked, and bite each other's lips. Slowly subtly, with all the fervor a pair of human's could muster. In that one kiss Sebastian could feel everything Blaine had felt for him over the years, and Sebastian hoped Blaine understood how much Sebastian cared for him.
Sebastian had kissed many boys, many men, and a few women, but never had he kissed someone who loved him. Sebastian was sure kissing Blaine was what real happiness tasted like.
The Warbler could have kissed Blaine forever, instead he pulled away. Slowly Blaine's beautiful eyes fluttered open. A hushed wow escaped his swollen kissed lips.
"Sebastian, I lo…"
"Me too, Killer. Me too, Always." He promised the boy in front of him.
Blaine squeezed Sebastian's hands in his, then leaning in to kiss Sebastian's forehead, before getting up. He paused but Sebastian waved him off.
At the doorway where the two had first locked eyes, without turning around Blaine paused, "Always, Bas."
Before walking away.
The room felt cold and empty, Sebastian felt cold, but as he touched his fingers to his lips, he couldn't quite feel empty,not as the sound of Blaine's 'I love you's' hung in the air, and the taste of their kiss clung to his lips.
Author Note: So that's it! What'd you think? Let me know your thoughts! :D Reviews, praise and criticism is always welcomed! 3