A/N - It's Ana of Asgard! I'm starting a series of one-shots starring Loki & Thor in their younger days…they all tie in together, and I'll keep them in one story so it'll be easier to keep track of. I'm going to have a particular format for all of them, and the A/N will usually be at the very end. The rating is T, only because the worst rating will only be T. Each individual one-shot has its own rating in the little summary. Updates won't be super regular, and I'll have all different types of genre here. If I'm in a good mood, it'll be fluff or Humor. If I'm in a bad mood, I'm going to torture Thor and Loki with Angst and Hurt/Comfort. This is basically the place for me to write when I have Writer's Block, like I do right now for Ambivalence. Anyway. Here you go!


OF RIVERS AND GIRLS

Summary: In which Thor has a crush, and Loki gives horrible dating advice.

Genre: Humor

Rating: K+

Thor/Loki Ages: 15;14

Warnings: None.


"Loki!"

Thor burst into the room in a whirlwind, banging the door behind him. He flopped gracelessly on the available armchair, lazily draping arms and legs over the armrests.

Loki barely registered his older brother's presence. He merely raised green eyes up, and dropped them back down to the heavy book on his lap. "Yes?" asked Loki, serene voice contrasting sharply with his brother's raucous tone. After meticulously studying the page, Loki turned it over and stared intently at the next.

Thor was breathing heavily, sweat forming on his brow. "Do stop reading, won't you?" he asked good-naturedly, attempting a weak swipe at Loki's book.

Loki was too deep in thought to notice Thor's fist coming his way, so the book easily went flying out of Loki's lap and landed with a plop on the ground.

Loki glared at Thor. "What is it you want, Thor?" he demanded in exasperation. "Can you not allow me a moment's peace?"

"I'll go away….if you help me with something," said Thor. "I need advice."

"You think I'll help you after that stunt you pulled on me?" asked Loki testily. "You fell in the water, I tried to help you out, and you dragged me under with you!"

Thor shrugged. "You should've seen it coming," he said carelessly, laughing at the memory of it. "And you looked hilarious. Anyways, Loki, if you don't help me now, I'll keep bugging you. I really need advice right now."

"Fine, you fool," said Loki. "Tell me what the problem is."

All of a sudden, Thor became uncomfortable, fingers began to fidget as his knee bounced up and down. "What sort of thing would you get a girl?" he asked suddenly, words coming out in a rush.

Loki fought the urge to smile, but his lips still quirked up slightly. "A girl," Loki repeated, and Thor scowled darkly.

"Why is your mouth all funny like that?" Thor snapped irritably, embarrassed. "Stop laughing, it's not funny. And it's not like that…it's for Mother."

"Riiigght," Loki dragged out, unconvinced. Thor was a terrible liar. "And why would you need flowers for Mother?"

"To get on her good side," Thor said, after some thought. Loki rolled his eyes, but decided to play along if he ever wanted to finish reading his book.

"Flowers," Loki answered promptly. "For some reason, girls—ahem, Mother—really likes flowers. And if you finish off with some dashing, original comment, that'll get them swooning."

"What sort of comment?" asked Thor, drinking it all in eagerly. Then he frowned, reddening. "Why would I want to get Mother swooning?" he asked feebly.

"Don't bother anymore, Thor," Loki ridiculed, grinning. "You are a terrible liar, but I'm glad you came to me for advice. An idiot like you would have any girl fleeing from you and shrieking in terror, and I do not want to be labeled as the brother of the oaf who cannot charm a single girl."

An exaggerated comment like that would definitely have earned Loki a couple of bruises on his arm, but Thor was too busy to begin a tussle. "Whatever," waved off Thor. "Tell me, what should I tell Allana when I get her the flowers?" Once again, Thor blushed heatedly at his slip.

"Allana, Thor?" Loki asked in amusement. "Really? I'd rather take Sif." Then Loki noticed the heated flush to his cheeks. "Aww, Thor," Loki teased, "you look so adorable blushing like that."

"Shut up," mumbled Thor. "Now if you're done poking fun at me, answer my question."

"Okay," said Loki, getting straight to business. "She's the small girl with dark hair and blue eyes, right?"

"Yes," answered Thor, pleased that Loki had stopped mercilessly mocking him. "What should I tell her?"

"I have no idea," said Loki unhelpfully. "She's too ugly to compliment."

The two of them knew instantly that was a lie. Allana was remarkably attractive, with tight, round black curls, large, brilliant blue eyes, and a slender, petite figure.

"Why do you ask me?" asked Loki, throwing his hands up in surrender suddenly. "It's clearly obvious Allana has some sort of feelings for you….I don't know, maybe kiss her or something?"

"She likes me?" said Thor in disbelief. "And no, I could never kiss her! What if she backs away? What if she never liked me in the first place?"

"You're an idiot," Loki said firmly. "Smack her on the lips. That's the best I can think of."

When Thor just raised an eyebrow, waiting for a better answer, Loki just sighed, leaning back. "I'll give you blue flowers," he said, after a moment's pause. "When she comments on how pretty they are, just say something stupid like they aren't prettier than you or some metaphor comparing them to her eyes."

Thor knew that was the best he was getting out of Loki for now, so he just nodded. "Can you get me the flowers?"


"Allana?"

Thor awkwardly stumbled across the corner, and yelping as he nearly bumped straight into the person he was looking for.

"Oh! Hello, Thor," came the answer, in that breathy, soft voice that sent Thor's stomach into wild flips and flops. "Did you need me?"

Allana was dressed in a dainty pink dress trimmed in lace, a large vase filled with water tucked under her arm. She was decidedly shorter than him, so she had to look up to meet his eyes. She didn't crane her neck, however, instead she glanced up coyly though heavy, curling black lashes. She fluttered her butterfly lashes alluringly at him, tucking a dark curl behind her ear.

Thor almost forgot why he was there in the first place. "I—uh, I just saw some flowers from Mother's garden," Thor stammered, fighting hard to keep from flushing.

What was it that Loki had told him to say? "And when I saw such beautiful flowers, I knew they could only be meant for such a beautiful girl as you," finished Thor quickly. It hadn't sounded as charming or fine as it had when the words had slipped over Loki's silver tongue, but it seemed to be enough for Allana.

Allana blushed prettily, the crimson hue staining her cheeks only adding to her beauty. In Thor's opinion, at least. "Thanks, Thor," she said warmly, flashing him a dazzling smile. Thor felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and he smiled.

"I guess it was fate that sent me with this water vase," commented Allana, and they laughed. Thor held the flowers out to her as gracefully as he could, and Allana took them, setting the vase down on the table next to her.

"These are gorgeous, Thor," breathed Allana, burying her nose in the sky blue flowers and deeply inhaling their scene. Thor was about to respond, before it happened.

The flowers moved.

Or, to be more accurate, the flowers weren't really flowers anymore. They were almost like butterflies, strange, fluttering bugs that didn't even bother with Thor—they went straight for Allana.

Allana screamed in terror, batting uselessly at the brilliantly hued bugs. In her alarm she dropped the stems of the flowers, and they materialized into long, black snakes.

Loki! Thor thought furiously, clenching his fists at his side. His thoughts were confirmed when the offending objects faded away with a twinkle of emerald-green light.

Allana, however, hadn't seen the light. She was furious.

"How could you?!" she fumed angrily. Those meltingly beautiful blue eyes were now flashing with molten fire, and Thor felt himself shrink back. Loki, unsurprisingly, was right. Allana really did like Thor…in that way.

An aghast Thor was unable to react as Allana reached out and slapped Thor across his face, sounding with an alarming crack. She looked as though she'd like to do it again, but apparently slapping the Crown Prince on his face once was enough.

Instead, Allana contented herself with hurling the water in her vase all over Thor. "You ham-fisted, goat-brained idiot!" she cried, and Thor felt ashamed to see the tears in her blue eyes. Allana whirled her skirts around and left, dark hair bobbing behind her.

Then rage bubbled up as Thor heard a burst of muffled, gleeful laughter behind him.

"LOKI!"


It was easy to catch Loki, surprisingly. Loki made an attempt to escape, but it was obvious he was laughing too hard to do much.

Thor had chased Loki all the way out to the banks near the river. Loki simply didn't have the strength to teleport—his sides were aching with laughter. Thor grabbed Loki by the collar with ease and dragged his laughing brother down to the ground.

Loki made another attempt to escape Thor's clutches, but Thor's grip was too tight. He pinned Loki down, glaring into Loki's smirking face.

Inwardly, Thor was unsure of what to do. He probably would've punched Loki or something like that, but Loki couldn't defend himself now, with his arms pinned to his sides and body shaking with amusement. Thor wasn't one to beat up Loki like that, but Thor had an irritated, annoyed feeling that Loki had planned everything such.

"Did you see your face?" gasped out Loki, tears of mirth in his eyes. "When she slapped you across the face! And when she dumped the water on your head! Oh, brother, I really should help with your love life more often!"

"Never again," growled Thor, giving his brother a rough, harsh shake just for good measure. "I had a pretty decent chance with Allana!"

Loki was shaking his head, unable to tear the huge grin off his face. "I definitely think Allana is the girl for you," he said. "I like her."

Thor had a sudden inspiration as he stared down furiously at Loki. He dragged his younger brother to his feet, hauling him to very edge of the river.

"See if you're still laughing now," snapped Thor, loosening his grip on Loki. Loki's eyes widened.

"Brother," Loki tried. "Surely you don't mean to…" His panicked voice faded away as Thor grinned, dropping Loki without mercy into the swirling river.

Thor's mind wandered to Allana. There wasn't much of a chance with her….But what about that cute redhead? Karya, her name was?

"Hey, Loki!" Thor hollered into the water. "What do you think Karya would like?"

Naturally, there was no reply.


Who the heck is Allana? I got the name from a Star Wars book—apparently she's Han and Leia's granddaughter in the Star Wars Expanded Universe novels. In this story, she's just a random girl that likes Thor. From the ending, you can judge that Thor doesn't like her all that much, just a little crush. We all know Thor is too hot for his own good….of course Allana would fall for him.

When will the next update come? I have no idea, but it'll probably come before my next chapter from my other multi-chapter fic, Ambivalence. Yup, Writer's Block is still going.

Bye for now!