"I can't just stay here forever." Tanya protested.
"Why not?" Charlie countered. "Matteusz already moved in, why can't you? Isn't that what friends are for, Tanya?"
"This is a three-bedroom house, Charlie. With seven people living in it. Soon to be seven people and a baby. Besides, it's not that far away. It's not like I'd have to change schools or anything."
"Who's changing schools?" Tanya looked up to see Quill, was leaning against the doorframe.
"What? No one," she said. "But we're moving out. Me and the twins."
"Oh thank god," moaned Quill, sinking into the nearest chair. "I think I've been forced to deal with more teen angst than is sane."
"Teen angst is a pej-"
"Is a pejorative phrase," Quill waved off Matteusz's comment. "Some people-" she glared at Charlie "-are about to have a baby that will quite possible kill and eat them."
"Can't you ask that man who brought you here for help? If he can bring you to Earth from another planet, surely he can find an obstetrician who could work with a Quill." Tanya looked back at Quill.
"Yes, Tanya, let's just telephone the alien with a travelling box. 'Oh, yes, hello Doctor. Life on Earth is fine, just fine. Quill? Oh, haven't you heard? That's actually why I'm calling – she needs someone to deliver an alien baby so that it doesn't eat her from the inside out.'"
"Looks like you already know what to say," Tanya snorted derisively. "Doesn't anyone care to know where I'm going?"
"Where are you going, Tanya?" Matteusz asked.
"Thank you, Matteusz. My gran lives down in Shoreditch; she's the only family we've left. It's only about ten minutes in the Tube – looks like I'm stuck with the Bunghole aliens." She heaved an exaggerated sigh, smirking. "You thought I was leaving permanently." She was met with blank stares.
"And I'm about to die." Quill snarked. Tanya could have sworn that she saw a smile hiding behind her teacher's smirk.
"Yes, Quill. Tanya's leaving for Shoreditch –"
"-it's only Shoreditch," she interjected.
"and you are going to continue being pregnant for the foreseeable future." Charlie concluded.
"Anyway, we're packed, and there's a cab on its way. Jarvis and Damon are waiting outside." Tanya lightly punched Charlie's arm. "Might be starting to think you like having a house full of teenagers. Just think of all the things you can do when we're gone. Matteusz knows what I'm talking about," she said jokingly. Matteusz stifled a grin at the crude joke.
"Who is to say that we have not already been doing these things?" Matteusz asked, his face perfectly straight.
"TMI, Matteusz. T. M. I." Tanya made a face.
"I thought you liked biology," Matteusz commented, continuing to keep his voice innocent.
"Not anymore," she said under her breath.
"We can discuss biology?" Charlie, as ever, was one step behind when it came to Tanya's incessant jabs at his and Matteusz's relationship.
"Not the way that you're thinking, Prince," Quill said scathingly. "They're talking about sex." She rolled her eyes.
"Where is April?" Matteusz deflected the subject.
"Probably at home. Or with Ram. Or both." Tanya rolled her eyes. "Would it please be possible for us to discuss something that can't relate back to sex?"
"How does April's location automatically…" Charlie started.
"Well she can't go home. Could you imagine what her mum's reaction would be if she knew that her daughter had body-swapped an alien king and she was now the alien king, both literally and figuratively?"
"So Ram and the Shadow King?"
"Did you just crack my joke?" Tanya asked, incredulous. "No, no that's my joke." Charlie looked at Matteusz, who shrugged. "Anyway, I need to go, remember? Cab's outside, meter's running, brothers waiting." Matteusz waved as she hurried out the door.
"Why is she so possessive over a joke?" Charlie wondered, closing the door as Tanya's cab drove off.
"Who knows." Matteusz smiled at the strangeness of their friend and took his boyfriend's hand as they walked down the hall. Quill stood in the entrance of the house for a moment, looking out at the street. She wouldn't miss the child, and yet… She looked down at her phone, smiling at the latest cat photo (a meme, she believed Tanya had called it) that she had found.