A/N: So this is a new story I've been wanting to write for quite a while now. I'll admit, the idea just popped into my head a while after watching Hokuto no Ken and South park, the Stick of Truth on Youtube.
And then I suddenly thought, why not have Kenshiro wreak havoc on South Park with Hokuto Shinken? XP
Anyway, this is my way of compensating for putting another story on hiatus, so pls, enjoy.
Warning: This fic will contain some offensive content that may trigger people, given it is a South Park fanfic. If you're easily triggered or angered by such things, please do not read for your sake. You have been warned.
I do not own South park or Hokuto no Ken.
Prolouge
It all seemed surreal to Kenshiro.
For decades, as the 64th successor to the ancient martial art of Hokuto Shinken, he had travelled the wasteland that was the world of Earth, scarred by a worldwide nuclear war, its people embittered by the constant violence that ruled the land, slaying all who would destabilise society and bring it to utter ruin. For decades he travelled, never staying in one place for long for the sake of the innocent, for the curse of Hokuto ensured that chaos would come where he did.
For decades he waited, waited for the day he would finally pass from the world to be with his beloved Yuria - the only woman he ever loved - in the afterlife, though not before training his adopted son as the next successor of Hokuto Shinken, and tasking him with keeping the peace in war-torn Earth.
Finally, the time had come. As he laid himself and quietly closed his eyes, he breathed his last. Finally, his time was over, and he no longer needed to bear his burdens as he did so.
Or so, he thought.
He drifted endlessly in a black, endless void, his feet never finding solid ground beneath them, his body never finding equilibrium.
Trying desperately to make sense of his surroundings, a gentle, calming voice filled his ears, one akin to that of a cultured gentleman.
"Man of Hokuto," He heard it beckon to him, "You have finally come."
He then proceeded to ask, "Who are you? Why have you brought me here before you?"
"You may call me Bentei," Said the voice, "I am but a messenger from the heavens, and I have come to bring you a message on your next task."
"What task?" Asked Kenshiro, his voice hoarse from years of little Human contact.
"Your time in this world is over, man of Hokuto," Said Bentei, his form invisible to Kenshiro's obscured eyes that searched the darkness for him, "The era of terror and fear that infested it like a locust plague has finally begun to fade, its denizens beginning to strive for peace and rebuild their lives, and civilisation itself. Through your efforts, those who would sow chaos have been punished for their sins, and no longer threaten those striving for peace."
A hint of pride rang true in Bentei's voice, yet it dissipated as he continued, "Your journey in this world is over, Kenshiro, but that means not the end of your journey. No, it is but part of a greater destiny.
At this, Kenshiro frowned slightly; decades he had waited for his eventual death, death in peace so he may be reunited with his deceased wife of many years, and with his many friends. To be denied this chance when it was so close was as if he were being slapped in the face. But he was a man of Hokuto, and if the heavens had a new task for him, he would answer the call without fail, for there was a purpose to all this.
"What would the heavens have me do, Bentei?" Asked Kenshiro.
A deep rumble began to settle in Kenshiro's stomach, the sensation permeating his entire body, not unlike when he used his Musou Tensei.
He felt his muscles become less burdened with ache, his heart beating with little problems, and felt as if his body were blessed with much more energy like he possessed in his youth.
"In another world, there are various forces that dare defile the sanctity of the Earth and threaten the lives of the people living there," Said Bentei, "As Hokuto has bulwark against darkness and evil, so shall it be again; it is your task to go to that world, and serve as its bulwark. Know, however, that what you will see there is different from what you have adapted to."
"Farewell, Kenshiro," The voice continued, "We will watch over you from the heavens."
These were the last words the successor of Hokuto Shinken heard, before he suddenly felt himself lose consciousness, and then he knew nothing.
IIOII
Deep in the lands of Zaron, the Humans of Kupa Keep struggle to stay alive as they are attacked by the wicked Drow Elves of Larnion. Darkness falls as the Humans beg their king to save them; a noble king, known only as the Grand Wizard.
For a thousand years, the battle has been waged, with only the bravery of the Grand Wizard to protect his Human followers. But even though the wizard is so undeniably cool, the Drow Elf armies continue their onslaught.
They seek the Humans' most sacred relic - the Stick of Truth.
But the tides of war are about to change as news of a 'new kid' spread throughout the land. In order to save the Humans, the Grand Wizard must get to the new kid before the evil Drow Elves can manipulate his mind and use him to take the sacred relic from Human hands.
For whoever controls the Stick, controls the universe.
IIOII
Kenshiro awoke with a gasp, feeling air rush into his lungs as he took notice of his surroundings.
As his eyes registered the afternoon sky, the domineering sun casting its light of dominance over all, he moved to get up from were he was lying, noticing it to be the rooftop of a concrete building. As he moved to the edge of the roof to take in his surroundings, however, he was shocked by what he saw.
The land was no desert, but a veritable grassland with trees all around the town, cars moving across well-maintained roads, and though the land was covered in perpetual snow, it was an absolute far cry from the hellishly hot desert he had long since adapted to.
Feeling cold all over his body, he moved to find some form of clothing, only to notice two things.
One, he was stark naked, with not even a pair of undergarments to cover his... ahem, private parts.
Two, he had a pair of sizeable lumps on his chest, which he was not even supposed to have, and that his body physique was slimmer than normal, where he usually had a massive bulk of muscle fitting of that of a practitioner of Hokuto Shinken. Finding a mirror in his immediate vicinity, he was shocked at what he saw.
One thing he noticed was that he was far shorter and much younger looking than normal, looking exactly like a child at the age of ten with a suitably burly figure that, while not as burly as his older form, still showed quite a bit of muscle. Another thing was that - if his eyes were not deceiving him, had taken the form of a young girl. Moreover, where she had short bangs of black hair, she had long locks of them cascading down her shoulders.
With a slimmer form than that of a boy's and two sizeable... ahem, 'lumps' on his - her chest, there was absolutely no denying it; he was officially a young girl.
"What sorcery is this?" Muttered Kenshiro, and she gasped at how high-pitched her voice was.
Given his current predicament, she found it absolutely problematic if someone were to catch he as she currently was, especially lecherous people who would undoubtedly lust after her admittedly beautiful form. Looking for any nearby article of clothing or anything that could serve as such, he laid eyes on two long pieces of white fabric and a piece of tarp.
Though the tarp could easily serve as a cloak to cover most of her body, she did not want to take chances regarding her exposed private parts; taking the two long pieces of white fabric, she tied them around her body tightly enough that they would not come loose, but loosely enough that they would not restrict her movements in the case she needed to use her martial art.
Making her way down with a slight jump, she landed gracefully on her feet, no sound being made upon contact with the concrete pavement. Without any knowledge of the town's layout, he elected to do some exploring of his own.
Taller than most children, she made large strides whenever she walked, covering more distance more easily as she explored the streets of the town she was in. All around her, people stared at her, at times trading whispers with one another as she walked past them. Some gave wolf whistles in her direction, while others simply chose to ignore her. All the while, she suddenly became the centre of attention for pedestrians walking the streets, mostly because of the outlandish clothing she was wearing.
"Well well, look what we have here, a little fourthie trying to look mysterious and shit, huh?" Said a sneering voice from behind her.
Immediately, Kenshiro knew she was surrounded by four boys, all of whom looked between twelve and thirteen years of age, all of them licking their lips in a very suggestive manner.
"What's the matter, fourthie? Cat got your tongue? Afraid of us you tiny little brat?" Said one of them.
"I would advise you disperse and get out of my way," Said Kenshiro with steel in her voice, her blue eyes becoming hard, "I do not take kindly to your kind."
The bullies around her became irritated, one of them cracking his knuckles as he said, "Oh, so the little fourthie is trying to act brave, huh? Well, how about a good fucking punch to the face!?"
As the bully reared his fist back for a punch, Kenshiro began to assume a stance, only to find she had no need to do so, for said bully was harshly knocked to the ground with a punch to his head, the perpetrator being a girl around the same age, with long black hair, garbed in a purple jacket, yellow jeans and wearing a pink beret on her head.
The other bullies turned to face their newcomer, only to immediately shrink away from her in fear.
"Oh shit, it's Wendy!" One of them said.
"No way I'm dealing with her! Let's get outta here!" Said another, and together, the three bullies took their unconscious friend and ran away as fast as their legs could carry them.
"And that's what you get for messing with girls," Said the girl, before turning to face Kenshiro.
"And who might you be?" She asked, "I don't know who you are, but what exactly were you thinking, walking around town without any decent clothing, except some stupid pieces of cloth and a cape? Are you playing superhero or something?"
"I had none," Said Kenshiro simply, "And might I ask what is a 'superhero'?"
"Seriously? What person has the sense to walk around in a snow-covered town with nothing but two pieces of cloth and a piece of tarp on top? And you don't know what a superhero is?" Said the girl, crossing her arms in a gesture of annoyance, "Anyway, my name's Wendy, Wendy Testaburger. What's yours?"
"Kenshiro," Said Kenshiro.
"Kenshiro?" Said Wendy, tilting her head slightly in confusion, "What sort of name is that?"
Receiving no response from Kenshiro, Wendy then said, "You don't really talk, huh? Fine, then. Anyway, we better get you some decent clothing. There's no way you're walking around looking like that."
Looking at the cloths that served as her clothing, Kenshiro nodded at Wendy's reasoning, and followed Wendy in her footsteps as they moved along the busy streets of South Park.
IIOII
Meanwhile, in another part of the mountain town, the crew of a Moovit truck had just finished unloading the last of its load into a red-walled house as its new inhabitants settled into their new home.
Two of them smiled happily at the prospect of beginning a new life in the town of South Park, a man saying, "Well, I believe that's everything!"
His wife pulled him into a tight hug, exclaiming, "We did it hon! We really moved in!"
"It's a new beginning for us," The husband replied, hugging her back, "Things are finally going to be good!"
As his wife pulled back, however, she frowned, glancing up to the floor above.
"Do you really think things would be better for... him?" She said in concern.
Placing reassuring hands on his wife's shoulders, the husband said, "They won't find him here hon, we just need to make sure he doesn't draw too much attention."
"Why not we check up on him?" The wife suggested, "Let's see how's he adjusting to his new life here."
Agreeing to the idea, both husband and wife moved upstairs to check on their child, who was looking around in silent contemplation.
Said child had fair porcelain skin, long, curly blonde hair and striking green eyes that possessed a spark of inquisitiveness about every single thing that came within her sight. She wore a thick, baggy, dark green shirt with the image of Terrance and Philip imprinted on it, and black jeans.
Both parents knew she was a girl, but for some reason unbeknownst to her, they pretended she was a boy, though given that she took more after the mannerisms of boys rather than that of girls, it was not hard to pass off as a boy.
She heard knocking on her door, followed by her mother calling, "Sweetie? You all dressed?"
She made no answer, but they nonetheless opened the door, seeing their daughter in disguise put the last of her belongings in a nearby drawer before turning to face the two of them.
Though her room was much smaller in comparison to her parents', as she did not have much use for extra space that would otherwise be unused, it was still large enough that she had adequate space to move around with little difficulty.
"Hey champ," Her father said, "How do you like your new room?"
In response, she merely shrugged, never one to talk much or express oneself openly; since kindergarten, she was not one to socialise much with others, preferring to keep to herself unless circumstances dictated otherwise. When one approached her for something, she never showed open hostility, instead simply nodding or shaking her head, depending on her response to whatever situation presented itself to her.
Sighing, her father then said, "I know it's a bit of a change for all of us son, but... do you... remember why we moved to this quiet little mountain town?"
Frowning in deep thought, the girl shook her head. Both parents shared a glance with each other, the father whispering, "He doesn't remember."
"He doesn't remember at all," Whispered his wife.
"That's good, that's good he doesn't remember," Said the husband, all the while not noticing that their 'son' frowned at them.
I can hear you from here, you know, Thought the girl, before her parents turned back to her, smiling.
"Uh, sweetie?" Said the mother, "We want you to have lots of fun here. Why don't you go out and make some friends?"
"Right, get outside and play 'Richard'. Like normal kids," Said the father.
And my real name's Rachel, dad, She thought.
"I'll put some money on the kitchen counter for you, sweetie," Said the mother, "Just... be back before it gets dark."
Once her parents left her room, Rachel then moved to her drawer and took out a small yellow strip of cloth, the image of the Big Dipper imprinted on it. Tying it to her left wrist, she then moved to collect the money her mother took for her, and moved to wave goodbye to her father - who did not even respond - before stepping out of her house to the outside world.
Immediately, she rubbed her hands, feeling the biting cold of the winter wind sapping the heat from her unprotected hands. Looking around her, she decided to explore the town a little, to familiarise herself with her new hometown. As she walked along the streets, however, it was not long before she encountered a sort of scuffle between two boys around her age, both dressed in handmade medieval costumed that reminded her of the medieval fantasy games she played on her PS4.
"I banish thee to the forest realm!" Said the blonde-haired boy, dressed in a turquoise medieval costume.
"No way, I banished you first!" Said the other, dressed in dark green garb and wearing fake pointy ears on his sides.
As both fought, however, it became clear the victor was the 'Elf', who proceeded to knock the turquoise-clothed boy's hammer out of his hand. He then proceeded to say, "Aha! You can't hold out for much longer."
As the 'Elf' pounced on his adversary, the blonde-haired boy shouted, "Help! Somebody, I can't hold out for much longer! HELP!"
The Elf then proceeded to repeatedly poke the other boy's face repeatedly with his wooden dagger, causing much pain and humiliating his 'enemy'.
Slightly angered by this display of bullying, Rachel then moved towards the 'Elf' and, rearing back her fist slightly, hit him on the back of his head, causing him to stumble slightly before directing an angry glare at Rachel, who said, "Hey, that's no fair! I'm gonna tell my mum!" before storming off.
Rachel then proceeded to help the blonde-haired boy who said, "Thanks for helping me back there, I didn't realise he had a health potion."
Health potion? Rachel thought, So they are playing a sort of make-believe medieval fantasy game, it seems.
"My name is Butters the Merciful, I'm a paladin," Said the boy, "I live right next door to you, we should be friends!"
Butters then tapped a few buttons on his phone, and then Rachel heard a beep on hers, and then looked to see that Butters had added her as a friend on Facebook, who then posted a comment saying, "Hey, everyone, there's a new kid in town! I'm taking him around town for a bit."
Rachel felt guilty about concealing her actual gender, but she decided to keep it a secret for now.
"Now that we're friends, you should speak with the Wizard King! He's been talking about your arrival!" Said Butters.
Wizard King? Thought Rachel, even as she followed Butters to whomever this Wizard King was.
Eventually, both arrived at a green-walled house, bearing the same bland design as just about every house along the residential district had. Heading towards the door, they both find a fat young boy waiting for them just outside the door, wearing red robes, yellow gloves, a sky blue pointy hat and a darker blue cape across his shoulders. In his hand was a staff of sorts, plain and irregularly shaped.
"All hail the Wizard King!" Proclaimed Butters, with a rehearsed spiel.
"So, you are the New Kid," Said the Wizard King, "Your coming was foretold by Coldwell Banker. I am the Wizard King."
As the fat boy leaned on his staff, Rachel became concerned about the state of the staff itself, fearing it would crack under the fat boy's weight.
I'm quite surprised the staff hasn't really broken under his weight, Thought Rachel, You'd think a fat kid like him needs to replace that staff every time it snaps, since it can't hold his weight.
"The time to talk is not nigh," Said the fat boy, "Let me show you my Kingdom."
Turning around and walking into his house, Butters and Rachel followed suit, entering the house of the fat boy.
Inside, a woman with the same red hair as the fat boy sat on the couch, typing away on her phone. Glancing at Rachel, she gave a gentle smile, reminding her of her own mother.
"Oh, who's your new friend Eric?" She asked, and the fat boy rolled his eyes and continued walking.
"Shut up mom, not now."
Rachel frowned. Judging by Eric's response, she deduced him to be the spoilt type, getting everything he wanted, making her sick.
Leaning in slightly closer to Butters, she whispered into Butters' ear, "His name's Eric?"
Butters nodded, and whispered back, "That's right, but he prefers to be called by his surname, which is Cartman."
The trio then entered Eric's backyard, and glancing around the backyard, she saw a fortress of cardboard near the back fence, with a tent holding it up from the inside. Above the entrance was a sign with the words 'Kupa Keep' painted on it in red. Closest to the keep's entrance, she could see a brown haired boy, wearing an oversized helmet, tending to a makeshift weapons shop, and a nearby stable of sorts.
Eric then pointed at various things and explaining what they were, and who the other kids in the backyard were. The one with the oversized helmet was Clyde Donovan; the one with freckles and curly brown hair was Scott Malkinson, who seemed to always stick out his tongue for some reason, and the one wearing the purple dress, a blonde wig and an oversized orange parka over his face - known as the fairest maiden in the land - was identified as 'Princess' Kenny Mccormick.
Leaning in to whisper into Rachel's ear, Eric then said, "Don't ask me why he decided to be a chick, that's just how he's rolling right now."
Rachel snorted at that.
Eventually, as Eric stood at the entrance to his keep, he turned to face Rachel.
"You have been sought out, new kid, because Humans everywhere are in great danger," Eric said, "I need something from you, and in return, I am prepared to let you into my kingdom."
Butters then handed a paper and pen to Rachel, and Eric said, "I am sure there are many things you wish to ask, but first, please tell us thy name."
Rachel then proceeded to write 'Richard' on the paper, deciding to pass off as a boy for now. Handing back the paper to Eric, she noticed him smirking.
"You have entered the name 'Douchebag', is that correct?" Said Eric, causing the others around him to snicker.
Rachel frowned, giving a firm shake of her head.
"Do you wish to be called 'Douchebag'?" Asked Eric, receiving another shake of the head from Rachel.
"Very well, Douchebag," Said Eric, and Rachel immediately felt like punching him in the gut, though she restrained herself, "Now, before you continue you must choose your class: either Fighter, Mage, Thief or Jew."
Biting her lip, Rachel elected to vengeance on Eric later; no bully lived to push her around and get away with it, for every bully that did so had suffered a particularly nasty lashing from her fists and kicks, that... let's just say, landed them in a month-long hospitalisation.
As Eric put four different outfits in front of Rachel for her to choose, she moved her hand across each one.
"A fighter has courage, honour, and the ability to kick ass," Said Eric as Rachel hovered over the Fighter outfit.
Rachel nodded at this; a fighter sounded much like her, always solving her fights up close with brutal punches and kicks that would serve to incapacitate all but the hardiest of opponents.
"A mage is like a wizard, only not as cool," Said Eric about the mage outfit.
Rachel was unsure about being a wizard, then decided against it; spell-casting was never her forte, even in games.
"You look sneaky enough to be a thief," Said Eric as Rachel hovered over the Thief outfit.
Rachel contemplated on being a thief, since being one required her to be sneaky when needed. While she was not as sneaky as the protagonists from Assassin's Creed, she could certainly hide herself well from most people. She then hovered over the last one.
"Jew, huh? So I guess we'll never really be friends," Said Eric with disappointment.
Rachel frowned at this; it was obvious to her that Eric discriminated against races he did not like, making him a racist. Being a Jew herself, she did not appreciate Eric discriminating against Jews, as was proven by the words she heard just then.
Having learned about all the four outfits, she elected to become a Jew, if only to spite Eric.
Eric rolled his eyes, then said, "Everyone welcome to our kingdom Douchebag the Jew!"
Around her, everyone cheered, including Butters, though Eric was noticeably disappointed at her chosen class, given that the Jew class represented what he did not like. Rachel smirked at this, sticking out her tongue at Eric and making sure he saw it, and she smirked at the subdued angry expression Eric flashed her. And though she was dubbed Douchebag, she still smiled inwardly, hoping that name would be dropped as she played their game.
Alright South Park, let's see what you have to throw against me, Thought Rachel as she went to procure a weapon from Clyde.